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Articles by Dear Ty
Dear Ty: Open relationships
Studies show one in five Canadians have been in an open relationship. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader/Fulcrum Dear Ty, I’m in a relationship right now that has really loose boundaries. My partner and I sat down and decided to call it an open relationship, for clarity’s sake. On a recent trip, my partner had sex with an old flame, but when I kissed somebody else, my partner got upset with me. Is there any way to do an open relationship right? —Young, Wild and … Free?
Dear Ty: Floorcest
It’s a beautiful day for a neighbour — would you be mine? Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I met someone I’m really interested in during frosh week and I want to hook up — the only thing is, they live on my floor in residence. Friends, frosh leaders, and CA’s have all warned against floorcest, but is it really such a bad idea to hook up with someone on your floor?
Dear Ty: Summer bummer
With summer approaching, many couples at the U of O might be at a tough crossroads. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I’ve been seeing someone I met at the U of O pretty seriously since the start of this semester, and as final exams and the end of the year approach, we’re trying to figure out where to take things next. My partner lives on one side of the country, and I’m on the other, and we’re both going home for the summer. Where do we go from here?
Tasty - The Fulcrum
Your essential guide on how to make your bodily fluids taste good. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I’ve become really self-conscious lately about the way my bodily fluids might taste to my partner. I’ve heard from different friends that what you eat or drink might have an impact on how you taste — is any of this true? —Flavour Favour Dear FF, I want to start off by making one thing blatantly clear: Genitals are never going to taste “great,” so to speak.
Dear Ty: Couples and mental health
Feeling loved while dealing with mental health issues is so important. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, My partner and I have both been struggling with some mental health issues lately due to the stress of school and a few other unexpected life events. We’re both getting the help we need, but my partner and I are unsure of how to best support one another while also managing our own mental health struggles.
Health in the halls of power
Young political workers and the dynamics of mental wellness It might just be the biggest narrative trope of any government town. The young and driven from small-town X make their way to the big city, where the sky’s the limit. A group of wannabe political hacks, aspiring public servants, lawyers, and diplomats, they soon learn the ropes of studying, working, networking, debating, socializing, balancing … and repeating.
Dear Ty: Masturbation addiction?
About 80 per cent of men and 65 per cent of women masturbated at least once a month as of 2009, according to one study. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I’ve been masturbating pretty frequently for the past few years, but recently I’ve found myself self-pleasuring a little too often for my liking (more than three or four times on certain days), and I’m finding it impossible to stop. Is there such thing as masturbation addiction? How much self-loving is too much?
BFFs - The Fulcrum
How to manage catching the feels for your best friend. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I’ve been best friends with this person for almost 10 years, but over the past few months, I’ve started to realize something … I’m fairly sure I’m madly in love with them. I want to give this a shot, but I have no idea how to approach all these emotions I’m feeling—what should I do?
Dear Ty: Mile High
Your essential guide to having sex on a plane. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, My partner and I are heading on a vacation to somewhere much warmer than Ottawa over reading week and I’m really excited, but the flight is going to be super long. To help pass the time, an idea flew into my head: having sex mid-flight. We’ve always wanted to try it but never knew how to actually get away with it—any tips for us?
Dear Ty: Cold sores
One estimate says as many as one in five Canadians will get a cold sore in their life. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I think I got my first cold sore last week. It hurt a lot and it was really embarrassing walking around with scabs on my lips. Just when I thought cold sores couldn’t get any worse, one of my friends mentioned it pretty much means I have herpes. What do I need to know about cold sores? Do I actually have herpes?
Dear Ty: The Thing
Catching an STI isn’t as scary as you think. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, Over the past few days, I’ve noticed it’s hurt quite a bit to go pee. I thought I might just have a typical urinary tract infection (UTI), but I decided to get tested just to be safe. Turns out I have a pretty nasty STI and I’m very upset about it, to say the least. Any tips on where to go from here?
Fiction Issue: The Way Down
Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. The smell of halftimeoranges, soccer daysover 30 years gone atsunrise this morning.Sliced pink with age,membranes still threadsections, the afghan mygrandmother carefullycrocheted for her firstgrandchild. Girl.
Dear Ty: DIY Erotic Fiction
Writing erotic fiction might not be as hard as you think. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I’m enrolled in the English program here at the U of O and I’m looking to explore a different type of fiction we don’t learn in the classroom: erotic fiction. I’ve read a few books in the genre and feel ready to give it a shot myself, but I’m not sure where to begin. Any tips?
Fiction Issue: Written in the Stars
Cedric and I were like the sun and the moon; not quite opposites, but decidedly different. I was always the quiet, shy girl who never minded being in the background. This worked out well since Cedric had a bright, bubbly personality that commanded attention. From the moment I met him I knew that we would complement each other well, that he needed a calm presence like mine to keep him grounded. It was not often that I felt needed.
Fiction Issue: Programmed
Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. It’s complete garbage! A metallic hand crumpled the newly written poem and threw it backhand across the room. The discarded effort joined the other paper crumples, forming a graveyard around a recycling bin. The metallic figure reached for a fresh piece of paper, the blank canvas an intimidating sight. The empty sheet stared back. Fuck you… you blank smug fibres of cellulose pulp forming together to resemble some kind of thin material for writing… I despise you.
Fiction Issue: Winter's Road
Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Between the trees, under the stars, I walk the winter’s road. The night sky is bright and the snow seems to glow. I’ve come this way once when I was younger, before it snowed. Now I am older, I am bolder, and yet the night grows ever colder. I will not turn back this time around. I will push on to the very end, past every turn and every bend. Footsteps silent over the snowy ground. I will walk this hellish street until the pavement gives out beneath my feet.
Fiction Issue: Daydreams Café
Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. She sat down in her favourite chair right next to the wide, slightly dingy window that looked out to the busy town street. The smell of fresh coffee with a hint of vanilla drifted lazily towards her nose. The cup she held sent waves of heat through her cold hand, making her fingertips tingle as she settled into her seat.
Dear Ty: Losing It
The v-card isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader Dear Ty, My friends always talk about their sexcapades, but when it’s my turn to speak, I have nothing to share. I turned 23 over the break and I still haven’t lost my virginity. I’m worried I’m a ‘late bloomer,’ so to speak, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand it’s embarrassing, but on the other hand, I’m not sure I’m ready for sex. Any tips or advice?
Dear Ty: Ice, Ice Baby
How to use Ottawa’s chilly winter weather to your sexual advantage. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, My partner and I have been together since high school, and at this point we know all the ropes to pretty much every and any sexual kink or fetish. But we like to keep things fresh and exciting, and there is one thing we have yet to experiment with: temperature play. Any advice on how to bring fire and ice into the bedroom? —Hot and Cold Dear HaC, I’m so glad you brought this up.
Dear Ty: I fucked my TA?
Dear Ty: I fucked my CA—meet your sequel. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I was out with my friends last weekend and I stumbled into a TA for one of my classes at the bar. At first I just wanted to talk about the essay for the class that’s due soon, but one thing led to another and I ended up bringing them home for the night.
Dear Ty: Let’s make a porno
Like Zack and Miri Make a Porno, but 10 times better. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, My partner and I have been watching porn together as part of our sexual routine since the first few months we were together. Lately, we’ve been considering making the leap from behind the screen to into the screen: basically, we want to make a porno. Any advice for us amateur porn stars? —First-Time Porn Stars Dear FTPS, A round of applause for you and your partner FTPS.
Making birthing knowledge more accessible
Visiting experts discusses the importance of translation. Photo: Rame Abdulkader. Feminist Cafés talk childbirth, and translation Last week, the University of Ottawa’s Institute of Feminist and Genders Studies continued their series of talks, styled the Feminist Cafés, with experts of gender studies from around the world—with an added non-fiction twist. On Nov.
Dear Ty: Porn Peeker
As of 2017, popular porn site PornHub was home to over 173 years worth of video uploads. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, Last week I came home earlier than expected from work and caught my partner off guard. They were scared, but I was horrified—I caught them watching porn! It caused a bit of a fight and I’m not sure where to go from here; I feel a bit neglected. Where does porn fit into a relationship?
Dear Ty: Sugar dating
As of Jan. 2017, over 200,000 Canadian post-secondary students were registered with popular sugar dating site Seeking Arrangement. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I had to quit my part-time job earlier this year thanks to my heavy workload at school and now I’m super short on cash—OSAP just isn’t cutting it. A few of my friends have recommended I try something called ‘sugar dating.’ I have to admit I’m lost—can you fill me in on how this works and what it means?
Dear Ty: Sugar dating
As of Jan. 2017, over 200,000 Canadian post-secondary students were registered with popular sugar dating site Seeking Arrangement. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I had to quit my part-time job earlier this year thanks to my heavy workload at school and now I’m super short on cash—OSAP just isn’t cutting it. A few of my friends have recommended I try something called ‘sugar dating.’ I have to admit I’m lost—can you fill me in on how this works and what it means?
Dear Ty: Ty Me Up
Ty shows a reader the ropes of bondage. Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, I’m still very much into my partner, but over the last few months the flare and spice in the bedroom has all but disappeared. One thing we want to experiment with is tying each other up. Any advice on how to try bondage in the bedroom?
Dear Ty: Floorcest
Illustration: Rame Abdulkader. Dear Ty, My whole floor went on our weekly trip to the Gatineau bars last Friday, and everything was going well until I ended up in bed the next morning with one of my floormates. Any advice? —Floorcest navigator Dear FN, There’s a bit of an unwritten rule on university and college campuses when it comes to hooking up with people on your residence floor: simply put, you don’t. There’s even an official name for this residence conundrum: floorcest.
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