Articles by Doug Klein
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 374
To paraphrase Thomas Carlyle once more: History bids her mute adieu to the 2026 World Cup. When the 2022 World Cup in Qatar concluded, the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) noted the hypocrisy of the world enjoying its soccer in stadiums built on the bones of numerous foreign workers. The Qatar World Cup was conceived with bribery and executed with moral cynicism. That being said, the matches were exciting–which is all the world really cares about.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 374
To paraphrase Thomas Carlyle once more: History bids her mute adieu to the 2026 World Cup. When the 2022 World Cup in Qatar concluded, the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) noted the hypocrisy of the world enjoying its soccer in stadiums built on the bones of numerous foreign workers. The Qatar World Cup was conceived with bribery and executed with moral cynicism. That being said, the matches were exciting–which is all the world really cares about.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 36
One of the most inconsequential meetings of the English and the French turned out to be one of the most entertaining ever. Not quite as entertaining as the Battle of Agincourt, where a heavily favored French squad dropped a completely winnable contest against a bedraggled and weary English side, but the 6-4 third place match certainly exceeded anyone’s expectations. The English can take some comfort (and a bronze medal) before they return to their utterly dysfunctional home island.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 36
One of the most inconsequential meetings of the English and the French turned out to be one of the most entertaining ever. Not quite as entertaining as the Battle of Agincourt, where a heavily favored French squad dropped a completely winnable contest against a bedraggled and weary English side, but the 6-4 third place match certainly exceeded anyone’s expectations. The English can take some comfort (and a bronze medal) before they return to their utterly dysfunctional home island.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 33
“I will bless those who bless you, And curse the one who curses you….” Bereshit 12:3. In April, Argentinian President Javier Milei visited the Kotel and went to Har Herzl on Yom HaAtzmaut. Nearly a week ago, the presumptive next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Andy Burnham, issued an apology for his Labour Party’s initial response to October 7th as being too supportive of Israel. He pledged that once in office, his government would do more pressure and sanction the Jewish State.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 33
“I will bless those who bless you, And curse the one who curses you….” In April, Argentinian President Javier Milei visited the Kotel and went to Har Herzl on Yom HaAtzmaut. Nearly a week ago, the presumptive next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Andy Burnham, issued an apology for his Labour Party’s initial response to October 7th as being too supportive of Israel. He pledged that once in office, his government would do more pressure and sanction the Jewish State.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 32
The last time France and Spain really went to war with each other was during the Napoleonic Wars, when What’s-His-Face attempted to put his brother Joseph (or sometimes “Joey With the Epaulettes”) on the Spanish throne. That contest began as a French blowout, but through the clever use of guerilla warfare, the Spanish grew into the match and eventually prevailed. The French retreated across the Pyrenees with their proverbial baguettes between their legs.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 32
The last time France and Spain really went to war with each other was during the Napoleonic Wars, when What’s-His-Face attempted to put his brother Joseph (or sometimes “Joey With the Epaulettes”) on the Spanish throne. That contest began as a French blowout, but through the clever use of guerilla warfare, the Spanish grew into the match and eventually prevailed. The French retreated across the Pyrenees with their proverbial baguettes between their legs.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 30
DISCLAIMER: The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) hereby declares that it has not engaged in any match-fixing or referee-bribing or any other nefarious activities in connection with the Argentine National Football Team. Moreover, the ZGWC does not even own a Lionel Messi jersey or know how to dance the Tango. More on Argentina below. TRIGGER WARNING: Settler Colonialism will be discussed later in this blog. But first, let’s catch up on the weekend’s quarterfinals action.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 30
DISCLAIMER: The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) hereby declares that it has not engaged in any match-fixing or referee-bribing or any other nefarious activities in connection with the Argentine National Football Team. Moreover, the ZGWC does not even own a Lionel Messi jersey or know how to dance the Tango. More on Argentina below. TRIGGER WARNING: Settler Colonialism will be discussed later in this blog. But first, let’s catch up on the weekend’s quarterfinals action.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Days 27 & 28
Day 27 (Please excuse the delay.) “You shall remember the Exodus from Egypt….” Read here not “from,” but “of.” Indeed, verily, the Exodus of Egypt from the 2026 World Cup will be remembered for a long time to come. Leading 2-nil over the defending champions from Argentina until the 79th minute, the Egyptians were poised to pull off one of the most unlikely results in recent World Cup history.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Days 27 & 28
Day 27 (Please excuse the delay.) “You shall remember the Exodus from Egypt….” Read here not “from,” but “of.” Indeed, verily, the Exodus of Egypt from the 2026 World Cup will be remembered for a long time to come. Leading 2-nil over the defending champions from Argentina until the 79th minute, the Egyptians were poised to pull off one of the most unlikely results in recent World Cup history.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 26
Q: How is the United States Men’s National Team (USMNT) similar to the Palestinian national movement? A: It never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Consider the situation. The United States was playing a World Cup on home soil in front of huge supportive crowds. The starting eleven featured ten players–all except the goalkeeper–who had logged significant minutes in the top five European leagues.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 26
Q: How is the United States Men’s National Team (USMNT) similar to the Palestinian national movement? A: It never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Consider the situation. The United States was playing a World Cup on home soil in front of huge supportive crowds. The starting eleven featured ten players–all except the goalkeeper–who had logged significant minutes in the top five European leagues.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 25
Chose one: 1) The Battle of the Iberian Peninsula; 2) Lula da Silva Clock Watch; 3) Flo Balogun Red Card Imbroglio; or 4) Movie/Song Quotes. Never mind, the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) will decide for you, Dear Reader(s). Let’s begin with quotes. ”It’s a miracle, sir.” “If it’s a miracle, Colour Sergeant, it’s a short chamber Boxer Henry point 45 caliber miracle.” ”And a bayonet, sir.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 25
1) The Battle of the Iberian Peninsula; 2) Lula da Silva Clock Watch; 3) Flo Balogun Red Card Imbroglio; or 4) Movie/Song Quotes. Never mind, the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) will decide for you, Dear Reader(s). Let’s begin with quotes. ”It’s a miracle, sir.” “If it’s a miracle, Colour Sergeant, it’s a short chamber Boxer Henry point 45 caliber miracle.” ”And a bayonet, sir.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 24
Adios, Paraguay, auf wiedersehen, adieu. The Albiroja had a magnificent run through the World Cup, but it came crashing to an end against France. The Paraguayans featured a stout defense and displayed great alacrity in the use of Latin American “dark arts” on the soccer pitch to irritate their Gallic opponents. Still, the French are simply too good to be denied a score over ninety minutes, which they managed to tally by way of a penalty kick.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 24
Adios, Paraguay, auf wiedersehen, adieu. The Albiroja had a magnificent run through the World Cup, but it came crashing to an end against France. The Paraguayans featured a stout defense and displayed great alacrity in the use of Latin American “dark arts” on the soccer pitch to irritate their Gallic opponents. Still, the French are simply too good to be denied a score over ninety minutes, which they managed to tally by way of a penalty kick.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup — Day 23
…Now is the mid-summer heat wave of our discontent…. Since sundown on Friday, there have been two unsavory matchups betweeen: 1) Anglophone countries whose governments detest Israel and who have been less-than-optimal in their efforts to protect their Jewish communities from their domestic red-green alliances of anti-Semites; and 2) Arab countries who have signed onto the Abraham Accords, but whose populations and players are enthusiastically pro-Palestinian (and anti-Israel).
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup — Day 23
…Now is the mid-summer heat wave of our discontent…. Since sundown on Friday, there have been two unsavory matchups betweeen: 1) Anglophone countries whose governments detest Israel and who have been less-than-optimal in their efforts to protect their Jewish communities from their domestic red-green alliances of anti-Semites; and 2) Arab countries who have signed onto the Abraham Accords, but whose populations and players are enthusiastically pro-Palestinian (and anti-Israel).
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 22
Yesterday’s action in the World Cup featured two matches pitting the nations of the Iberian Peninsula (sorry Andorra and Gibraltar, but you don’t count) against two component parts of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire. The latter entity had a habit of being on the losing side of major international conflicts, and yesterday proved no different on the football pitch. The day started with Spain easily defeating a solid Austrian squad, 3-0.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 22
Yesterday’s action in the World Cup featured two matches pitting the nations of the Iberian Peninsula (sorry Andorra and Gibraltar, but you don’t count) against two component parts of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire. The latter entity had a habit of being on the losing side of major international conflicts, and yesterday proved no different on the football pitch. The day started with Spain easily defeating a solid Austrian squad, 3-0.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 21
The knockout rounds of the World Cup are always dramatic. Yesterday’s menu of matches was especially dramatic. In the showdown between African countries and European countries, both African sides managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. In the nightcap, drama arrived in the form of an unlikely and unjustified red card. The action began as the Democratic Republic of the Congo struck first against England.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 20
Quoth The Rolling Stones: “You can’t always get what you want, but, sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.” Per the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC): “And, sometimes, you don’t even get that.” Such was the case with yesterday’s action in the World Cup. Each team the ZGWC favored went down in flames. The conflagration began with the Norway-Ivory Coast match.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 21
The knockout rounds of the World Cup are always dramatic. Yesterday’s menu of matches was especially dramatic. In the showdown between African countries and European countries, both African sides managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. In the nightcap, drama arrived in the form of an unlikely and unjustified red card. The action began as the Democratic Republic of the Congo struck first against England.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 20
Quoth The Rolling Stones: “You can’t always get what you want, but, sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.” Per the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC): “And, sometimes, you don’t even get that.” Such was the case with yesterday’s action in the World Cup. Each team the ZGWC favored went down in flames. The conflagration began with the Norway-Ivory Coast match.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 19
“Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair.” This quote is most commonly associated with Percy Bysshe Shelley, but it just as easily could have been attributed to the likes of Franz Beckenbauer, Gerd Müller, Torsten Frings, and their ilk. Like Ozymandias of old, the formidable German footballing machine stands trunkless, staring out at the empty desert of Foxboro, Massachusetts, wondering how it all went so wrong. At least Ozymandias did not have to deal with the vagaries of VAR.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 19
“Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair.” This quote is most commonly associated with Percy Bysshe Shelley, but it just as easily could have been attributed to the likes of Franz Beckenbauer, Gerd Müller, Torsten Frings, and their ilk. Like Ozymandias of old, the formidable German footballing machine stands trunkless, staring out at the empty desert of Foxboro, Massachusetts, wondering how it all went so wrong. At least Ozymandias did not have to deal with the vagaries of VAR.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 18
Mixed emotions were the order of the day for the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) as it viewed the day’s only match, featuring Canada and South Africa in a Round of 32 knockout match. Since October 7th, official Canada at every level has been underwhelming, at best, in response to those seeking to kills Jews, whether in Israel or in Toronto. The ZGWC has been anxious to pour negative energy on The Canucks in this tournament.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 18
Mixed emotions were the order of the day for the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) as it viewed the day’s only match, featuring Canada and South Africa in a Round of 32 knockout match. Since October 7th, official Canada at every level has been underwhelming, at best, in response to those seeking to kills Jews, whether in Israel or in Toronto. The ZGWC has been anxious to pour negative energy on The Canucks in this tournament.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 17
“I am in blood / Stepp’d in so far that, should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er.” Or so said a certain dramatic Scottish monarch during the course of his short and tumultuous reign. And long before his national side had been eliminated from going forward in the World Cup. The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC), having survived more than two weeks of group play, will continue, similar to MacBeth, in its tedious quest to pontificate on the knockout rounds.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 17
“I am in blood / Stepp’d in so far that, should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er.” Or so said a certain dramatic Scottish monarch during the course of his short and tumultuous reign. And long before his national side had been eliminated from going forward in the World Cup. The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC), having survived more than two weeks of group play, will continue, similar to MacBeth, in its tedious quest to pontificate on the knockout rounds.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 15
Day 14 left the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) in the dumps as the South Koreans opted not to start the greatest player the country’s history, Son Heung-Min, and proceeded to drop a winnable game to much reviled South Africa, 1-nil. Day 15 brought untold joys though as ZGWC-favored Ecuador finally managed to score some goals and defeat ed group winner Germany as a result.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 15
Day 14 left the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) in the dumps as the South Koreans opted not to start the greatest player the country’s history, Son Heung-Min, and proceeded to drop a winnable game to much reviled South Africa, 1-nil. Day 15 brought untold joys though as ZGWC-favored Ecuador finally managed to score some goals and defeat ed group winner Germany as a result.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 14
The World Cup continued inexorably today as the last round of group play matches commenced. Group B was first on the hit parade as Canada versus Switzerland and Bosnia and Herzegovina versus Qatar were played simultaneously. Before we discuss the action on the pitch, we need to address the suspect nature of the Qatari team. A significant portion of the team consists of naturalized citizens.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 14
The World Cup continued inexorably today as the last round of group play matches commenced. Group B was first on the hit parade as Canada versus Switzerland and Bosnia and Herzegovina versus Qatar were played simultaneously. Before we discuss the action on the pitch, we need to address the suspect nature of the Qatari team. A significant portion of the team consists of naturalized citizens.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 13
Another day of desperation on the soccer pitch…. Monday’s late night intramural scrum of Arab sides saw Algeria best Jordan, 2-1. The Jordanians took a surprise 1-nil lead at halftime against the higher rated Algerian squad. The Algerians, featuring many players who ply their trade in quality European leagues, struck twice in the second half to secure the victory.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 13
Another day of desperation on the soccer pitch…. Monday’s late night intramural scrum of Arab sides saw Algeria best Jordan, 2-1. The Jordanians took a surprise 1-nil lead at halftime against the higher rated Algerian squad. The Algerians, featuring many players who ply their trade in quality European leagues, struck twice in the second half to secure the victory.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 12
As is typically the case for the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC), it will be politics first today, then onto the football. We will begin in Colombia where the second round of the presidential elections is now in the books. Right winger Abelardo de la Espriella eked out a narrow victory over dedicated Communist Ivan Cepeda. De la Espriella has announced his intention to restore diplomatic relations with Israel after they were severed by Cepeda’s former boss Gustavo Petro.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 12
As is typically the case for the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC), it will be politics first today, then onto the football. We will begin in Colombia where the second round of the presidential elections is now in the books. Right winger Abelardo de la Espriella eked out a narrow victory over dedicated Communist Ivan Cepeda. De la Espriella has announced his intention to restore diplomatic relations with Israel after they were severed by Cepeda’s former boss Gustavo Petro.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 11
Before re-capping Sunday’s action, a few preliminary matters first. The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) would be the first to state that it does not possess the gift of prophecy. However, in its review of Group J, the following pronouncement appeared: “It is difficult for the ZGWC to conjure up anything positive to say about Algeria.” After the Argentinian team, led by the brilliant Lionel Messi, handed the Algerian squad a 3-nil drubbing.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 11
Before re-capping Sunday’s action, a few preliminary matters first. The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) would be the first to state that it does not possess the gift of prophecy. However, in its review of Group J, the following pronouncement appeared: “It is difficult for the ZGWC to conjure up anything positive to say about Algeria.” After the Argentinian team, led by the brilliant Lionel Messi, handed the Algerian squad a 3-nil drubbing.
Zionist’s Guide to World Cup–Day 10
The United States is a large and strange country. The country’s relationship with soccer is convoluted. There are those on the conservative wing of the American polity who view soccer as the first step towards the Euro-trash invasion of America.
Zionist’s Guide to World Cup–Day 10
The United States is a large and strange country. The country’s relationship with soccer is convoluted. There are those on the conservative wing of the American polity who view soccer as the first step towards the Euro-trash invasion of America.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 8
Thus far, many of the teams frowned upon by the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) have, frankly, done okay in the tournament. Qatar, for instance, scored a stoppage time goal in their opener to force a tie with a far superior–technically, ontologically, etc.–Swiss team. Karma, though, descended on the Maroon One today in their match against Canada in a big way.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 8
Thus far, many of the teams frowned upon by the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) have, frankly, done okay in the tournament. Qatar, for instance, scored a stoppage time goal in their opener to force a tie with a far superior–technically, ontologically, etc.–Swiss team. Karma, though, descended on the Maroon One today in their match against Canada in a big way.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 7
Some may find watching a soccer match to be an exercise in pain as they watch very talented and conditioned athletes frustrate themselves repeatedly trying to get a ball to go where they want. And there’s the flopping. But the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) has benefited from watching matches and learned many things about the world. For instance, yesterday’s late night match between Austria and Jordan revealed one positive quality about the Hashemite Kingdom which is unrelated to soccer.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 7
Some may find watching a soccer match to be an exercise in pain as they watch very talented and conditioned athletes frustrate themselves repeatedly trying to get a ball to go where they want. And there’s the flopping. But the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) has benefited from watching matches and learned many things about the world. For instance, yesterday’s late night match between Austria and Jordan revealed one positive quality about the Hashemite Kingdom which is unrelated to soccer.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 6
For all of the recent demonization of “settler colonialism” in recent years, no sportscasters or commentators or other know-it-alls seemed to remember this blight on human existence when it came to today’s France-Senegal match. France, as the former colonial occupier of Senegal, was heavily favored going into the match. France has so much depth that the players on Les Bleus’ bench would be a tournament favorite if they were allowed to form their own separate team.
Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 6
For all of the recent demonization of “settler colonialism” in recent years, no sportscasters or commentators or other know-it-alls seemed to remember this blight on human existence when it came to today’s France-Senegal match. France, as the former colonial occupier of Senegal, was heavily favored going into the match. France has so much depth that the players on Les Bleus’ bench would be a tournament favorite if they were allowed to form their own separate team.
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