Jared Borislow
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The Ross Bolen Podcast
Comedian. Also run @FormulaBone (TikTok: 320k, YouTube: 170k, Instagram: 60k) | @UWMadison alum | J-BONE!
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Articles by Jared Borislow
Johnny Manziel: “I Would Hope I’m A Better Passer Than Tim Tebow”
VIDEO======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== Videos Johnny Manziel: “I Would Hope I’m A Better Passer Than Tim Tebow” Well yeah, you are. Show Comments
(VIDEO) This Fan’s Rendition Of Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball” Ruined A Crucial Free Throw
Miley Cyrus’ name has been in the news a lot recently. Usually, it’s been for doing something completely ridiculous, and that’s what we’ve all come to expect. Her antics are hilarious, though repugnant to some, but that’s okay. She’s an entertainer both on and off the stage, for sure. I’m cool with that. I think I speak for everyone when I say I’m laughing at her, not with her.
Three Blonde Girls Ran On The Field At The College World Series, Vine’d It, And Took Selfies
Omaha, Nebraska natives and possible sisters (they’re definitely related), Kayleigh Hill, Emily Hill, and Torrie Hill, were apparently pretty bored and/or drunk at The College World Series last week while UCLA was trying to close out its eventual victory over Mississippi State. To entertain themselves, the girls decided to take a leisurely sprint on the field, and to make this the most girly act of trespassing ever, one of them decided to snap some selfies and Vine the ordeal.
NFL Players Read Mean Tweets About Themselves
"Michael Strahan's teeth are having a middle school dance, where the boys stand on one side of the room and the girls stand on the other."
Mike Leach Finally Weighs In On Guns In America, And His Take Is Pure Gold
Mike Leach is by far one of the most interesting coaches in all of football. He thinks he’s a pirate for shit’s sake. You could sit and listen to him talk for hours. He coaches and speaks with a reckless abandon, which is most likely due to him downing a handle of Jack Daniels before the games. Whenever you’re around him, you’re just waiting for the next pure, solid gold quote. So when he was asked to give his take on gun violence, he was more than happy to provide us with some A+ entertainment.
UCF Kappa Delta Will Make You Hate Your Girlfriend With Their Hot New Recruitment Video
Videos UCF Kappa Delta Will Make You Hate Your Girlfriend With Their Hot New Recruitment Video Dear sororities, let's stick with these fire recruitment videos and avoid the creepy "door stacks" and finger waves. Thanks. [via College Weekly]
Paul Ryan to Colt McCoy: “Great Job at Oklahoma State”
Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan dropped in to a Cleveland Browns football practice today to kiss some hands, shake some babies, talk some football, and shoot some shit with former Oklahoma State badass, and starting Browns quarterback, Brandon Weeden. After working the crowd and sifting through the non-Weeden scrubs on the team, he finally found his man and hit him with a “Great job” line that he had been saving up all day. Only, it wasn’t Weeden. It was backup Colt McCoy.
College Basketball Player Has Shot Nothing But 3-Pointers All Season, Is A Hero
Meet redshirt senior Max Hooper of Oakland University (Michigan, not California). First off, incredible name. You don’t stock shelves at the local Piggly Wiggly with a name like Max Hooper. Max Hooper is dribbling a basketball before he takes his first steps. Max Hooper’s dad doesn’t let him in for dinner until he’s done shooting five-hundred free throws on a rusted backboard above the garage. If that buzzcut on such a goofy egg head doesn’t scream coach’s son, I don’t know what does.
RIP Diesel, The Good And Noble Police Dog Killed During Police Raid On Paris Terrorists
A police dog was killed this morning during a raid targeting the suspected “masterminds” of the deadly Paris attacks that took the lives of 129 people last Friday. Diesel, a seven-year-old Belgian Shepherd, was killed at some point during the seven-hour raid on an apartment in the suburbs of Paris. The seven-year-old Belgian Shepherd was killed sometime during the seven-hour siege on an apartment in the Paris suburb of Saint Denis; French police tweeted on Wednesday.
Mizzou About To Be Torn Apart By St. Louis Blues-Chicago Blackhawks Series
There’s no love lost between St. Louis Blues fans and Chicago Blackhawks fans, as those teams are two of the the NHL’s most bitter rivals. And, with its high percentage of students from both the Gateway and Windy cities, the brutal nature of this rivalry is no more apparent than on the campus of the University of Missouri. Columbia, MO, turns into a war-torn, Geneva Convention-less battleground every time these two teams face off. The kind of place Syrian refugee hopefuls would refuse to go to.
TFM’s Presidential Debate Drinking Game
“Are you better off than four years ago?” is part of Romney’s opening statement. Jim Lehrer’s beady eyes look like their gazing into the candidates’ souls. Either candidate makes a personal attack on the other. Obama mentions the benefits of the welfare system (punch a pledge too while you’re at it). Obama looks down and says “Ummm…” after a question about Guantanomo bay. The words “banker,” “policy,” “Wall Street,” “millionaire,” “re-distribution,” or “job-creator” are used by either candidate.
88-Year-Old World War II Veteran Reunited With Fraternity Pin After 70 Years
Anything that involves World War II veterans is almost always incredibly badass and patriotic. Those men are part of our country’s Greatest Generation, after all. Throw in a man who was recently reunited with his fraternity pin after thinking he lost it during the war and you have one hell of a story. Bob Ragan is an 88-year-old Beta Theta Pi and U.S. Army Air Corps veteran.
(PHOTO) Arizona State Girl Goes To Halloween Party Completely Naked Because Arizona State
Why did I not go to school in Arizona? I would gladly sacrifice my literacy and risk being stabbed on campus (well, in Tempe anyway) to swim through a sea of gorgeous, adorably confused, morally void women. In Arizona, shame must be something you only learn about in books, which is why no one there has heard of it.
Bristol Motor Speedway Preps For Va. Tech-Tennessee By Ordering Half A Million Beers
======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== Saturday night should be a fun one in Bristol. Virginia Tech and Tennessee fans will pack Bristol Motor Speedway for the first ever college football game played at a racetrack. 150,000 people are expected to be in attendance. To make sure everyone in the stadium is well hydrated, BMS ordered quite a bit of beer.
Woman Claims Missouri State QB Breck Ruddick Viciously Beat Her Friend’s Dog, Has Photos
======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== According to a post on Facebook, a woman’s dog was brutally beaten by Missouri State quarterback Breck Ruddick. The woman had left her dog with Ruddick to watch. It is not clear why Ruddick allegedly beat the dog. Ruddick has also been suspended from Missouri State’s game against K-State tomorrow.
JuJu Smith-Schuster Goes Back To Take Classes At USC In Full Steelers Uniform
After a breakout rookie year for Steelers receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster, the 21-year-old is back in class…in full uniform. Smith-Schuster departed the University of Southern California after his junior year to enter the NFL Draft in 2017. He was selected by the Steelers wayyyyyy late in the 2nd round (62nd overall) and far from guaranteed quality playing time. But now he’s snagging both footballs and knowledge thanks to his momma. Showing up in class in full uniform is such a power move.
A Breakdown Of Every Time You Play Wagon Wheel
Here in America, our amazing country’s massive borders allow for an incredibly diverse fraternity system. From sea to shining sea, brothers are embracing the fraternity lifestyle in ways they see fit, and while a West Coast fraternity experience may vastly differ from a Southern one, in the long run all that matters is that we’re all just trying to get fucked up and laid, typically in that order. Where do we find common ground?
College Student Starts Condom Ambulance Service, Provides Emergency Condoms To Students
Sexually-active, yet unprepared, students at The College of New Jersey now have a pregnancy-and-sexually-transmitted-disease safety net to fall into during those certain heated moments of arousal. Thanks to fellow student Kyle McCabe, who we’ll introduce you to momentarily, an emergency rubber is just a few mouse clicks and several minutes away.
A Play-By-Play Of Philly’s Super Bowl Rioting As Told By The Citywide Police Scanner
What a night. The Philadelphia Eagles, led by the now immortalized Big Dick Nick, found a way to knock off the Patriots and take home their first ever Lombardi Trophy. You’re a lunatic if you weren’t pulling for the Birds in this game. I mean, there was virtually no reason not to.
20-Year-Old Masters Runner-Up Jordan Spieth Has A Hot Tri Delt Girlfriend, No One Is Surprised
Some people are really difficult to like. Jordan Spieth is one of these people. The former University of Texas golfer just finished five under at The Masters, sharing the runner-up position with Jonas Blixt. Spieth won the John Deere Classic last July, and has eight top 10 finishes in his career. But besides being the youngest player to win a tournament in over 80 years and netting nearly $10 million by his second year as a professional, Spieth has one more thing going for him.
Texas Tech Tri-Delt’s Tumblr Will Make You Want To Be A Better Person
We’re starting this week off with a bombshell. Texas Tech’s Tri-Delt has a Tumblr and it is fantastic. Thank God for these beautiful Texas women. My Monday was looking pretty shitty before I came across this gem. I’ve always said Texas Tech sneakily has some of the hottest women in the country, and after seeing this, I feel like a damn genius. Check out their full Tumblr page HERE. The highlights are below. Wait a second. Why are you girls trying to sneak this past me? Farrah is a Texas grad.
Texas Walk-Ons Make Nickleback Spoof To Officially Kill What’s Left Of Longhorns Football
As a Mizzou guy, I’m jazzed up for the Texas Bowl and ramping up my hate for those scrubs in burnt orange and white. There’s this arrogance about Longhorn players, fans, officials, groundskeepers, parking lot attendants, and every Austin resident that is just not warranted by their performance on the field these past few seasons. So yeah, I’ll gladly admit that I take great pleasure in the downfall of this traditional blue blood program.
Last Year’s Mizzou Protests Caused 1,500 Fewer Students To Enroll And $32 Million Budget Gap
If you were wondering what the price of eradicating racism is, roughly $32 million is your answer. Wait. I’m being told racism DOES still exist in America. I repeat, racism DOES still exist in America and no, Mizzou cannot get its money back. Mizzou Interim Chancellor Hank Foley announced on Wednesday the university is projecting a $32 million budget gap next year due to 1,500 fewer students enrolling at the university.
Mizzou Delta Chi Tragically Dies In Motorcycle Accident
The University of Missouri lost a good man just before Labor Day weekend. On Friday, Tyler Romaker, a member of Delta Chi, was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident near campus. Tyler Romaker, 22, was riding a 2008 Suzuki motorcycle through the intersection of Stadium and U.S. 63 shortly after noon when he crashed into the side of a 2004 Dodge Dakota, according to a news release from the Columbia Police Department.
Breaking Down The Tennessee-Greg Schiano Fiasco
2017 has been one long, continuously-running Shakespearean tragedy for the Tennessee Volunteer football program. Except instead of being comprised of sympathetic characters whose triumph you root for, everyone involved is highly unlikable.
The Only Way To Save The NFL Is A Papa John’s Takeover
The NFL kneeling controversy just won’t go away and as the NFL’s viewership and ratings continue to drop, the NFL quickly needs to find a solution before it goes the way of the USFL or, worse, has to allow the President to purchase the Buffalo Bills in exchange for a taxpayer bailout.
Seahawks Kicker Stephen Hauschka Is Too Nice, Has Never Corrected Misspelling Of His Name
Steven Hauschka is one of the best kickers in the NFL, but he’s apparently kind of a pushover. This pains me deeply to say, as we both graduated from the same high school and he’s a close personal friend (of a friend), but it’s true. Apparently his name isn’t “Steven;” it’s actually “Stephen.” He’s just gone NINE years in the NFL without correcting anybody. Here’s your weird sports of the day: Everyone has been spelling Steven Hauschka’s name wrong for his entire NFL career.
Total Frat Move | Ole Miss
I have no idea why this doesn’t have more comments. This shit is hilarious. Whoever posted it here had his head in the right place. -3 Log in to reply or vote on comments
25 Reasons GDIs Hate Greeks (And Why They’re All Bullshit)
1. “I don’t want to buy my friends.” We didn’t buy friends, we bought better friends. 2. “You guys do all that gay hazing.” You are a misinformed pussy. 3. “Frat guys are so fucking elitist.” Not elitist. Elite. 4. “You’re just slaves to the system.” With the unbelievable amount of partying and unprotected sex we can have, I’m pretty okay with this system. 5.
How Much Is Your College Football Team Worth?
This is different from the list Forbes recently published that detailed 2012’s most valuable college football programs. The Wall Street Journal published the intrinsic valuations of 115 FBS teams. Simply put, if your college football program was for sale, what would the price tag be? According to an annual analysis of the values of college-football programs, Texas remains the most valuable team in the sport.
Breaking Down the University of Dayton Sigma Chi’s Drunken Mini-Mart Rampage
Anyone who has ever been on a bus ride to formal knows that it is one of the great shitshows in all of Greek Life. Everyone is blackout, someone is getting finger blasted in the bathroom or OTPHJ’d in their seat, and nobody is giving any fucks…about anything. Goddammit do I miss formal bus rides. But before you go claiming that your formal bus ride was all kinds of depraved, know that the Sigma Chi chapter from the University of Dayton just raised the bar for bus ride mayhem.
Josh Gordon Claims Baylor Coaches Supplied Him With Detox Kits To Pass Drug Tests
In a recent video interview released by UNINTERRUPTED, ex-Baylor wide receiver Josh Gordon says his marijuana use was enabled by his coaches. According to Gordon one coach allegedly warned him of upcoming drug tests, and supplied him with detox drinks to help him pass. “I’ve been enabled most of my life. I’ve been enabled by coaches, teachers, professors, everybody, pretty much, gave me a second chance because of my ability.
A Letter From Your C-League Intramural Softball Champion
It’s been three days and I’m still wearing the shirt. It’s a Nike dry-fit short-sleeve tee with a navy blue base and gold lettering that reads: “2015 SOFTBALL INTRAMURAL CHAMPIONS” in massive block letters on the front. Retail cost for average losers would probably range somewhere between $30-$50. But for me, it was free. That’s because I am a champion, and champions get nice things at no cost. Just ask Michael Jordan or Tom Brady, they haven’t paid for anything in years. Life is nicer as a champion.
B.o.B Is Trying To Crowdfund A Satellite So He Can Prove The Earth Is Flat
When you think of the greatest rap beefs of all time, a few names come to mind. 2pac vs Biggie. Nas vs Jay Z. Soulja Boy vs Intelligence. And, my personal favorite, B.o.B vs Science. Most of America probably hasn’t thought about B.o.B in seven years, but this man has been putting on his lab coat and doing some important research for all of us during that time. Inspiring.
University Of Illinois At Urbana-Champagne Urges Students To Call Police If They See Another Student Smoking On Campus
To enforce their newly implemented, campus-wide tobacco ban, University of Illinois administrators sent an email to students urging them to call the police if they catch one of their peers lighting up on university grounds. The punishment for being caught is as follows: First-time offenders will receive a written warning. The second-time a person violates the act, the offender will be charged a $25 fine that can be waived through an online education program.
My University Is A National Embarrassment
For a school known for journalism, the University of Missouri is tremendous at making headlines. The only problem is, over the last few months, those headlines have been downright humiliating for students, alumni, and staff from Mizzou. While it pains me to say it, it’s the truth: I’m embarrassed by my alma mater. I had a great time at Mizzou.
Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Leasing Private Jet That Dan Bilzerian Uses To Host Topless Model Parties
You may have seen the Instagrams that Dan Bilzerian posts that include him partying his balls off with topless models while riding in the private jet that he owns. If you haven’t, here’s what I am referring to… Yeah, that plane? It’s being used in the current 2016 presidential campaign by none other than the girl we love to hate: Hillary Clinton. Hillary’s campaign has been renting out the plane for her trips across the nation while she campaigns to be the Democratic presidential candidate.
PHOTOS: Bama Sorority Girl Shits In Guy’s Bedroom After Not Getting Laid (UPDATED)
I received the below email today from a TFM reader. And I just know all you sickos are gonna love it. The subject line was “Shacker at Alabama.” I was going to write this one for you but couldn’t figure out how. A Beta took a chick home last night then ditched her to apparently hook up with another girl. The original girl wasn’t too happy so she took a shit on his chair then wiped with his comforter. I realize this isn’t your typical news story but it’s fucking hilarious.
Student Wanders Around The Woods With A Shotgun For Terrible Art Project, Is Mistaken For A Dangerous Gunman
Statistically speaking, 99.87% of art is stupid. This is science. That indisputable fact is true in part because artists are profoundly stupid, and often times, ironically uncreative. That’s mostly because, different ? creative, something the vast majority of them don’t understand in their desperate attempt to put off getting a real job. Sculpting the Virgin Mary out of human feces isn’t art.
Welcome To College! It’s Time To Ditch Your High School Girlfriend
I, like many little foolish boys before me, entered into college with a girlfriend. This would have been like Christopher Columbus setting sail with all of his anchors already dropped. You’re heading to the promised land, Chris; why complicate the journey? Guided by immature notions of romance and love, I clung to something that provided me with familiarity and comfort but ultimately delayed and stunted my progress and development. Your looming breakup is inevitable.
5 Essentials For A Quality Pregame
One of the first things I learned in college is that it’s important to show up to every function fashionably drunk, especially office hours. It lets the professor know that when you’re not in class, he’s on your time. It’s a power move. To show up fashionably drunk, you of course need to pregame. The pregame has always been my favorite part of the night. I don’t really have a good reason why, other than I’ve always been a Christmas Eve kind of guy.
Cute Sorority Girl Gets License Suspended After DWI, Drives Barbie Jeep Around Campus, Becomes Celebrity
It takes a special kind of person to become widely beloved soon after being arrested for DWI, but when you’re stripped of your driver’s license and stick it to law enforcement by rolling around campus on a hot pink Barbie Jeep Power Wheels, you get people back on your team in a hurry. That’s exactly what Tara Monroe, a 20-year-old Texas State student, did.
Maryland KA Fall 2017 Housing Draft (with images, tweets) · jaredborislow
Are you sure you want to change your username? Changing your username will break existing story embeds, meaning older stories embedded on other Web sites will no longer appearOf course not!Yes, change it!
Juggalos And Trump Supporters Set To Clash In D.C., May Very Well Be The End Of Days
I don’t care what anyone else says, 2017 just officially became the greatest year in human history. Why? Well it seems that a Juggalo march and a pro-Trump rally are on a collision course with one another next month since they’ll both be taking place at the same location, on the same day. Let’s rewind for a minute. For any of you lucky souls who don’t know what a juggalo is, it’s a term for hardcore fans of the Insane Clown Posse.
No, The Charlottesville Racist Douchebags Aren’t “Frat Boys” - They’re Just Racist Douchebags
Dear fake news: just because a college-aged racist dumbfuck is wearing a polo shirt, that doesn’t mean he’s in a fraternity. It’s crazy, but I promise you it’s true. There have been no shortage of opinion pieces since the fallout of this weekend’s disgusting happenings in Charlottesville where alt-right, neo-Nazis — more commonly known as racist shitbags — decided to hold a rally that turned deadly.
Investigation Of Ohio State Marching Band Reveals Blatant Hazing And Hilarious Nicknames
School bands have always been known as the most secretly mischievous group on campus. Whether it was high school or college, “this one time, at band camp…” always held true. Ohio State canned its band director today after an investigation revealed that the band members had a major hazing boner and took it out on their younger members. Older members reportedly gave the younger guys and girls nicknames which usually corresponded with a “trick” the young member was required to perform.
Should Fraternities Start Admitting Women?
The world is changing, and every day it places more demands on college fraternities. “No underage drinking,” “Stop burning your houses down,” “If you’re going to hang out on your lawn when the homecoming parade rolls by, please wear pants” — we’ve defied them all. But now, a new demand. A call for equality and inclusion: fraternities are being told they should admit women. 1. Why? Why Do We Need To Do This? I mean, I guess I don’t really get it? Why do girls want to be in fraternities?
Oregon FIJI, Student Government Presidential Candidate, Allegedly Attempted To Bribe And Threaten His DU Opponent
One of the most amusing aspects of both Greek life and college student governments is how certain people get all up their own asses about the politics of it all, and treat every little thing like it’s some clandestine, world shaking decision. You’re managing what amounts to a philanthropic social club populated by gifted alcoholics with poor decision making skills, or, if it’s a student government, a worthless entity. This isn’t House of Cards. This isn’t even Parks and Rec. Chill out.
UOPD Officers In Trouble For Making List Of People And Things That Should “Eat A Bowl Of Dicks”
While I have never actually worked a graveyard shift, from what I understand, it’s usually a time where you do a lot of nothing. The shift provides endless hours of boredom in which you can ponder your life, your goals, that shitty patch job on the wall–anything that can pass the time. The police officers working the graveyard shift at the University of Oregon passed their time in a rather unique way–they kept a list of people and things that can “eat a bowl of dicks.” That’s pretty fucking frat.
Kansas State Changes Integrated Student Information System’s Name So It’s No Longer Called ISIS
ISIS has reached college campuses in the United States, but Kansas State isn’t negotiating with these fuckers. The school changed its Integrated Student Information System’s name from iSIS to KSIS. TAKE THAT, TERRORISM. KSIS stands for, you guessed it, K-State Student Information System. It’s genius. Their creativity is mind-blowing.
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