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Articles by Jerry Crownover
written for, by & about farmers
I was about 12 years of age (the mid-1960s), when I really started paying attention to the cattle market. By that time, I had started purchasing weaned, lightweight calves in the fall, feeding them grain and hay throughout the winter, then selling them at 600 pounds, sometime around June of the next year. I always hoped for, but rarely achieved, the goal of 25 cents per pound. At that price, I knew I could make a decent profit.
‘I wonder how many cows this guy owns?’
My father was always a little skeptical of advice that was offered by highly educated people (his only son included). I suppose that fact was due to Dad’s complete lack of formal education, for he grew up in the early years of the last century, when a strong back and willingness to work was much more appreciated than a beautiful mind. I was the first child of my generation, from either side of my lineage, to attend college.
What did I write that check for?
Evidently, I’m one of the very few people left on earth who writes a check as payment for most every monetary transaction I perform. My wife thinks I must be stuck somewhere in the 19th century, and I can detect a not-so-subtle snicker from either of my sons anytime I pull out the checkbook. And, yes, I can also hear the mumbling and sighs from the line of people behind me at the checkout line in every store where I do business.
How a piece of technology helps me stay healthy
Eighteen months ago, after my heart surgery and subsequent complications, my wife purchased one of those newfangled smart watches for me. This high-tech gadget measures my heart rate, blood oxygen saturation, heart rhythm and a whole host of other health-related measurements. Even my doctor concurs that the readings performed by my wristwatch are extremely accurate, and he encourages me to wear it and pay attention to what it tells me.
How I became addicted to winning at a young age
We have a new puppy at the farm, and my wife is doing a great job of training the youngster. Evidently, the little dog will do anything my wife asks for nothing more than a peanut-butter-flavored treat that is no bigger than a pencil eraser and a kind word of praise. Seeing the pint-sized puppy take on a 2,000-pound bull for a simple treat reminds me of a young kid.
Today’s youth missed out on a great social event
News was made this past week when one of the last remaining drive-in movie theaters in the area announced it would be closing permanently at the end of summer. Even though I understand that technology now allows us to click and watch any movie we want on a giant screen TV, I still can’t help but feel sorry for today’s young people missing out on one of the greatest social events of all times.
My English has evolved over the years
One of my favorite things to read each week when I receive my hometown newspaper is a section where they reprint items that have appeared in that newspaper over the past century — and before. Last week, I was intrigued by an item from the early 1900s that had informed the readership of that time, “All anyone can talk about is the drouth.” I was a freshman in college before my English composition professor corrected my spelling of drouth to drought.
Cattle breeders are experts in family lineage - of their herds
Almost all purebred livestock breeders I have known have possessed the ability to point to any animal in their herd and recite that animal’s pedigree, backward, through at least 10 generations. I’m not sure I can go back any further than three generations in my own personal pedigree — and even some of those might be questionable.
Every farmer needs a dog like Bernie
Ten years ago, I had just lost the best stock dog I’d ever had, and I knew better than to try to replace him. On our farm, however, a dog is almost a necessity to ward off raccoons, possums, skunks and other assorted vermin from around the house and barns. In need of a dog — and not willing to spend much, if any, money — I came across an ad for a puppy. “Small rehoming fee required.” Fifteen dollars later, Bernie and I became best friends.
‘Vintage’ a nice word for ‘old’
As I was looking through the farm items for sale last week, I came across one that caught my eye. It was a certain brand of chainsaw that hasn’t been manufactured in several years, but it was advertised as vintage and priced at about three times what it had cost when it was new. I know this because I used to own one, and I’m also certain that I know the reason they are no longer in production: They were junk.
Shaky the calf may be small, but he’s mighty
Early one morning during the second week of February, as I unrolled a bale of hay, I heard the weak little bawl of a newborn calf. There, in the edge of the woods, stood the tiniest red calf I’d ever seen, seemingly crying for its mother. Counting cows, while inspecting to see which ones had calved overnight, I spotted a first-calf heifer allowing a new, tiny calf to suckle.
Taking the road less traveled makes all the difference
When I was growing up, my hometown was exactly 10 miles from my house. The first 5 miles were a state-maintained gravel road, and the last 5 miles were a hard-surfaced, asphalt-paved road that was considered very good for that time in history. Sometime around my 10th year, our state paved the gravel road that passed through our farm and replaced an old, low-water bridge, allowing access to town in almost any kind of weather. Life was good.
I guess I have to adapt to change
If someone were to ask my wife to describe me, using just one word, she would most likely use the word … boring. I prefer the word consistent. I don’t like change, or surprises, or things out of place, or any disruption in a schedule, even if that schedule only occurs in my mind. To illustrate my consistency (or boredom), I have worn the same brand and style of blue jeans for 45 years. Only the waist size has changed.
Livestock judges don’t know everything
It’s that time of year again, when livestock shows start gearing up all over the Midwest. It will begin with jackpot shows right now and culminate with state fairs later in the summer and fall. Lots of kids are going to learn many valuable lessons over the next few months, but I hope they remember that livestock judges don’t know everything. I’ve been very fortunate in my lifetime to be able to judge cattle, sheep and hog shows all over the country.
Homemade calf warmer works just fine
Most farmers who raise livestock have had a newborn animal inside their house at one time or another. For those of us who calve, lamb, farrow or foal in early spring, that probably equates to many newborns in our homes over the years — and we most likely have a routine that has been perfected with experience. My wife and I make use of an old comforter. It was early February of this year, and the first real snow of the winter had the ground covered in 6 inches of powder.
For the want of a saucer
Research tells us that the average American commuter, on their way to work each day, passes by 14 locations from which they could purchase coffee. This would include convenience stores, fast-food franchises, restaurants and cafes, and Starbucks or Starbucks-like places. The person would have the option of selecting one of 79 flavors of coffee, of which the majority have been imported from 25 different countries around the world.
Cattle really are a lot like people
I’ve always asserted that cattle and humans act pretty much the same way in certain situations. From mommas who would sacrifice their own life for the sake of their baby, to adolescent males who don’t act too differently than yearling bulls, we’re all alike. If I ever doubted my original assertion, an event from two days ago only confirmed what I thought. It was one of those rare, beautiful, midwinter days.
Almost anything can be hazardous to your health Original
These days, it’s next to impossible to purchase anything that doesn’t come with a warning about how the item may be dangerous to your safety or harmful to your health. For example, it must be about the sixth or seventh cycle of whether eggs are healthy or harmful, and I’m still confused as to whether one beer a day increases or decreases the danger or benefit of that egg.
Relocating bulls can be an adventure
A few weeks ago, I gathered three of my four bulls and hauled them to their winter abode here at the homeplace. While the previous three had already had plenty of time to establish their pecking order, I captured the last one two weeks ago and brought him in, which began his introduction process to a well-established gang. Oddly enough, one of the smaller bulls had firmly settled in as the one in charge, and when I brought in the last and largest bull, the little guy remained the Alpha.
Proof that Santa really is a cowboy
What I have long suspected can now be confidently confirmed: Santa Claus is a cowboy. If you think about it, only a cowboy would have the skill to control the reins of a nine-reindeer hitch and maneuver around the circumference of the globe in a single night. In addition, only a cowboy would have the guts (or lack of brainpower) to even attempt such a feat. If you still doubt my assertion, consider this: Neither a cowboy nor Santa is ever seen without being dressed in both boots and a hat.
Necessity really is the mother of invention
I’ve always been astonished by the differences in farm fence construction as I have traveled from one part of the country to another—primarily in the establishment of the corners. There are post rocks on the plains of Kansas, where the absence of any trees necessitated the pioneers to shape posts out of limestone rock and bury them deep into the otherwise rockless prairie ground.
There are always two sides to every story
As a child, it always aggravated me when, after relaying a story of how I had been wronged or mistreated at school, my mother would always say, “Well, I need to hear the other side of the story.” Why couldn’t she just take my word for what was the truth, instead of requiring to hear from another party that couldn’t possibly be as trustworthy as her perfect little boy?
Parents will do anything to help their children
I have been reminded of the following fact twice during the past week: Most parents will do anything to help out their children, regardless of the age of those children. My youngest son and his fiancee had to travel out of state last weekend to attend the wedding of one of their friends. My wife begged to housesit for them while they were gone, as well as care for their pets. After taking them to the airport, she returned to their house, and the housecleaning began at full speed.
A barn is more than just a building
A barn is more than just a building. I first realized this at the tender age of 4 when, as my family prepared to move their farming operation from Arkansas to Missouri, my father spent a great deal of time and money to construct a huge barn on the newly acquired property — months before work was started on a house for our family to live in. There had to be priorities.
My 51st class reunion left a lot to be desired
At my old high school last weekend, I attended the all-school reunion. We were supposed to have a big bash last year for my class’s 50th year, but it was canceled due to the pandemic. I guess the 51st anniversary didn’t hold as much prestige, since only six of us out of a class of 52 showed up for the festivities. On the other hand, my entire first-grade class of 1958, at the one-room school I attended, was present. Both of us were there.
100% of my cows calved - eventually
Most goodcattle producers will tell you that calving season, whether it be in the spring or fall, should be as close to 60 days long as possible — and certainly no longer than 90 days. As I’ve long suspected, I’m not in that category of goodcattlemen. Most years, during the last full week of April, I turn my bulls out with the cows. Given the gestation period of a cow, I can expect the first calf to be born somewhere around the first day of February, give or take a few days.
I’m ready to get into the farm video business
Confined to the house and prevented from doing anything meaningful for the past five weeks, I have had the sad opportunity to watch more TV than anyone should ever be forced to view. Because of that, I have come to the conclusion that regardless of how many channels you can receive, there is almost nothing worth watching. I love “The Andy Griffith Show,” but when I started reciting every line, in unison, with Andy and Barney, I decided I had watched the episodes way too many times.
A scoop of ice cream never hurt anyone, right?
First, I want to thank everyone for all of the cards, letters, texts, emails and phone calls after my recent stay in the hospital. Surprisingly enough, most of the correspondence was even from people to whom I did not owe money, so I know those were sincere — and they were appreciated.
My mom knew the secret to preparing meat safely
Editor's note: While Jerry recovers from bypass surgery, he has selected this column from 1997 as one of his favorites. Agricultural news became consumer news recently when 25 million pounds of hamburger meat were recalled by one of the nation’s largest meat processors. The meat was recalled because of possible contamination by a potentially deadly bacteria.
I found my Eden... in Nebraska?
I’ve reached the age where a lot of my friends are retiring, or contemplating retirement, and moving away from where they have lived for most of their life. I’m happy for them, if that’s what they want to do, but I’ve always wondered what would make someone at the ripe old age of 70 want to pull up stakes and move to some place where no one knows their name.
I’m chomping at the bit to get back to my normal routine
I can now remember what it’s like to be 15 years old … anxiously awaiting my chance to drive. I had to undergo a little medical procedure last week at the hospital, and I was given very strict orders concerning what I could and couldn’t do for the first seven days after release.
Not much difference between old men, boys
As a little kid, my friends and I found dozens of ways to keep ourselves entertained, long before the introduction of cellphones and video games, which seem to have mesmerized today’s generation. We could spend hours riding our stick horses through the woods, chasing bad guys, just like the Lone Ranger and Tonto. Of course, carefully selecting the right sapling and meticulously shaping it to be either Silver or Scout was part of the fun.
Technology does have its limitations
Spreading fertilizer on pastures and hayfields is certainly a lot different today than it was in my younger days. I can remember helping my father with the task by standing on one end of the field with an empty feed sack and stepping off the spreader width with each pass he made in order for him to have a point of reference to return to. He did the same on the other end of the field by hanging a feed sack over the fence.
I take the prize when it comes to attracting pests
Life Is Simple: Ticks and chiggers just love me. Jerry Crownover | Apr 20, 2021 “Breaking news — tick and chigger season is here!” Believe it or not, this was an actual news story on my local TV news station last week. I kept waiting for their next bombshell, “News alert — the sun is expected to rise in the east tomorrow morning!” Those of us who live out in rural areas don’t have to rely on astute, investigative journalists to provide that information to us.
My farm dog's loyalty has its limits
Thinkstock Life Is Simple: There is one thing she just won’t tolerate. Jerry Crownover | Apr 08, 2021 I’ve been fortunate to have had a handful of good dogs throughout my lifetime. Some have been good stock dogs, while others have simply been loyal and loving companions. My current best friend is Bernie, who would have to be described as a so-so stock dog, but close to the top of the list in the “always-by-my-side” dependability rating … until last week.
Some states friendlier to farmers than others
Life Is Simple: Road trip to Wisconsin was nearly derailed in Illinois. Jerry Crownover | Mar 22, 2021 Jack and Joe (not their real names) have been the best of friends since childhood, even though they are both looking at 40 in the rearview mirror. They both farm in southern Missouri, but Jack had recently found a deal online on a used tractor in Wisconsin that was exactly what he was looking for.
Recent cold spell reminds me of ‘the good old days’
Thinkstock Life Is Simple: Carrying buckets of water as a lad built character. Jerry Crownover | Mar 11, 2021 Among the many disasters and catastrophes that occurred around our farm during the record-setting cold spell in February, the water line between the well house and barn froze solid. The barn and surrounding corral are where I house my four herd bulls for the winter and they are supplied water by two heated, automatic waterers.
Frozen ear tips on calves just part of winter’s wrath
jzabloski/Getty Images BRRRRR: I don’t have to tell any cattleman in the Midwest how awful the weather has been for calving through the entire month of February — with lows below zero and highs in the single digits — for what seemed like an eternity. Life is Simple: Freezing-cold February made for rough calving season. Jerry Crownover | Feb 24, 2021 About three years ago, I switched the breed of bulls that I use on my cow herd.
It may be time to lose a few pounds
Stringer/Getty Images Life Is Simple: I admit I’m not as young and slender as I once was. Jerry Crownover | Feb 11, 2021 When I graduated from high school, I was 5-foot-9 and weighed around 145 pounds. By the time I came home for the summer after my first year of college, I was 6-1 and 160 pounds, and had finally finished growing … up. My girth increased, ever so gradually over the next 30 years — so slowly that hardly anyone noticed.
Where there’s a bull, there’s a way out
Life is Simple: Gathering up bulls and moving them can be an adventure. Jerry Crownover | Jan 28, 2021 I always dread the day I gather bulls from all the pastures to haul them to their winter confines. All the bulls I presently own are very gentle and rarely cause me any problems, but, as my wife constantly reminds me — they are bulls. Rounding ‘em up The first pasture gather went fine, with all the cows and the one bull going straight into the corral, where I scattered a few range cubes.
Teenage boy’s ingenious plan to catch fish
Life is Simple: An old crank-type telephone finds an alternative use as a fishing tool. Jerry Crownover | Jan 11, 2021 My wife and I were watching one of those pawnshop reality TV shows last week (How boring is our life?), when a guy brought in an old crank-type telephone to try to sell to the owners. My wife, being younger and raised in a more progressive part of the country than I, had never seen one, so she began to ask me about them.
A special birth in a manger on Christmas Eve
Life Is Simple: This miracle takes place on thousands of farms throughout the country. Jerry Crownover | Dec 23, 2020 It was a cold and clear Christmas Eve and the young family had just finished a big holiday meal. They were all gathered around the cedar tree, adorned with ornaments that had been handed down through several generations of their families. The three young kids were hoping beyond hope that their parents would allow them to open at least one present that evening.
Counting to 30 isn’t as easy as it seems
Life is Simple: I wasted half the morning looking for a cow that wasn’t missing. Jerry Crownover | Dec 09, 2020 This morning, I came to the realization that I just might have outlived my usefulness. We still have a little pasture left, and I’m trying to delay feeding hay as long as I can, due to the limited supply I was able to purchase this past summer. To supplement the protein needs of the cattle, I started feeding a few range cubes about three weeks ago.
It’s not the size of the wedding that matters
Life is Simple: It’s what’s in the couple’s hearts that is important. Jerry Crownover | Nov 23, 2020 For most of the last century, and all of this one, Hollywood and the tabloids have presented an image of love stories, courtships and marriages.
COVID-19 has both positive and negative consequences
Life is Simple: Consumers buying direct from farmers is a good thing, but some side effects of the pandemic are less positive. Jerry Crownover | Nov 12, 2020 As a result of the current pandemic, there have been some interesting side effects happening in my world of farming and ranching.
Pumpkin spice is not my cup of tea
Life is Simple: But growing pumpkins as a kid was a valuable experience. Jerry Crownover | Oct 16, 2020 I’m probably one of the few people in the world who absolutely detests the taste and aroma of pumpkin spice. I always have. Needless to say, my taste buds and olfactory sensory neurons are abused every year during this period from pre-Halloween to post-Thanksgiving. It seems that every cafe, restaurant and fast-food joint is adding the pumpkin spice flavor to every single item on their menu.
Farming has way of keeping life in perspective
Life is Simple: There are challenging days, but we are doing what we like to do. Jerry Crownover | Sep 22, 2020 It was almost dark on Labor Day evening when my phone rang, with the caller ID showing a nearby neighbor was on the other end. “What are you doing?” “I’m just lying here on the couch, watching TV,” I replied. “What’s going on?” My young neighbor asked if I might come over and look at one of his cows that was having a problem.
A lot of dogs are smart
Life Is Simple: Even my faithful canine knows a trick or two. Jerry Crownover | Sep 03, 2020 I’ve known a lot of dog owners who will swear they either own or have owned at one time or another the smartest dog in the world. Most of these proclamations need to be taken with a grain of salt. Jim, my old bird-hunting buddy from 40 years ago, always had a good bird dog, so it was a pleasure to be invited to accompany him and Sally on weekend hunting trips.
You can now call me ‘Colonel’
Life is Simple: I’ve finally achieved one of my lifetime career goals. Jerry Crownover | Aug 26, 2020 When I was a kid, I tagged along with my father to cattle sales all over the country and had dreams of choosing one of two professions. The first was that of being a livestock order-buyer. These men always wore the nicest hats and most expensive boots, and seemed to have an endless supply of money that allowed them to purchase cattle by the trailer truckload.
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