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Articles by John BlackOne
These People Could Be President. Part Three: 'Red' Bernie – WOBH | Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds Calling a politician ‘red’ is often a smear, an attempt to muddy the boundary between well-meaning lefty and full on commie crank. But in Bernie Sanders’s case the descriptor is accurate. He openly calls himself a ‘Democratic Socialist’ – a euphemistic phrase in current vogue that slyly reconciles the irreconcilable. A truly socialist state can never allow the propertied classes political representation.
Yes These People Could Be President: Part Two, Kamala ' Lala land' Harris – WOBH | Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds Kamala Harris is the perfect anti-Trump candidate – a photo negative inversion of the Don. In fact, if they ever meet, the universe may implode such is their perfect cosmic opposition. Trust me, its physics. She’s black, female, from a humble background and is able to speak in complete sentences. The Don is none of these things and had three goes at pronouncing ‘anonymous’.
Yes, One of These People Could be President – WOBH | Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds New Zealand politics can often be a dull, tiresome affair. Kind of like my first marriage but with less angry heckling. By contrast, American politics never fails to intrigue. It’s the stakes. If it employed its power the U.S could end all civilization by noon tomorrow. New Zealand could perhaps make a decent fist of invading Tonga and really trouble the world’s supply of pineapple lumps.
The End of Social Media: #Mefree – WOBH | Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds In the great works of dystopic fiction, 1984, Brave New World, and Robo Cop 3: He’s Back To Lay Down The Law, the state looms large as the enemy of liberty. It is not mere coincidence that parts of the world deprived of the influence of these seminal works either through censorship or in the case of Robocop3, terrible sound dubbing, have seen state power at its most intrusive.
Euthanasia: High-fiving the Reaper – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds Death and taxes, they say, are the two unavoidable facts of existence. But taxes can be avoided if you sleep in Albert Park and play the bongo drums for spare change outside McDonald’s. Death, on the other hand, comes for us all. Even if you move to Gore, grow a full beard and change your name to ‘Wayne Sommersville’. That bastard reaper is relentless. I take it personally that the universe wants me dead.
Leaked memo on proposed hate crime legislation – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds Warning This leaked memo is a work of fiction and is satirical. The following was found in the men’s restroom of a Wellington Massage Parlour by a lady…of my acquaintance. TOP SECRET MEMO FOR GREEN PARTY MEMBERS ONLY.
The Ardernian delusion – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
A fortnight ago our government took on an awesome responsibility: the wellbeing of 4.8 million souls. The ‘wellbeing’ budget, after suffering more leaks than a hedgehog’s raincoat, was unveiled to the world and immediately received breathless approval from progressive international media such as the Guardian. Back here, amongst the people who actually have to pay for the 3.8 billion dollars spent over four years (1.9 of it on ‘mental health’), support was more tepid.
The shocking truth about Brown supremacy in NZ – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds This week John Black is volunteering at a leper colony in East Africa. His place is taken by a well-known television reporter… THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT BROWN SUPREMACY IN NEW ZEALAND A brave expose by a very brave and important reporter. Being a fearless reporter that is also brave, when the boss asked me to investigate brown supremacy in New Zealand I knew things could get rough. What I didn’t realize was how rough.
Marijuana is a filthy drug & makes you retarded... – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds MARIJUANA IS A FILTHY DRUG AND MAKES YOU RETARDED…WHEREAS ALCOHOL AND CIGARS MAKE YOU SMART AND BRAVE A pseudo-scientific inquiry by John Black A year and a half out from the cannabis referendum and the air is thick with pot-head panegyrics to the delights of Mary Jane. Well I’m here to tell you the dope fiends have got it wrong.
A man in a MAGA hat visits the Women's bookshop – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds There is a time in every man’s life when he must stare the cyclops of destiny in its ocular singularity and neither flinch nor flee. Wellington at Waterloo, Custer at Little Bighorn, Mel Gibson at Gallipoli. Mine was last Saturday. Mother’s Day was fast approaching and I had tracked down the perfect gift for the woman who gave me free internal room and board for nine months.
Gratitude: A conservative virtue – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds The essence of the conservative attitude is perhaps best illustrated by G.K Chesterton’s metaphor of the fence. Imagine a fence across a road. A progressive (or ‘reformer’ as Chesterton has it) says ‘I don’t see the use of this. Let us clear it away.’ The conservative stays his hand, arguing that someone must have put the fence there for a reason, and it should not be removed until that reason is known.
'Life of Brian' forty years on – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Life of Brian Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds Monty Python’s Life of Brian, that classic, scabrous machine gunning of Christian piety has turned 40 years old. In the spirit of Easter, Event Cinemas Queen St scheduled a screening on Holy Thursday night. There was (to my knowledge) not one single complaint. I decided to go along to see if it still holds up. It is hard to describe the impact this movie had on me when I first saw it aged 14.
In search of the rare endangered White supremacist – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
*Satire Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds As somebody once said, ‘You should try everything once except incest and Morris dancing.’ (Who exactly said that we are unsure but when you reflect on how they knew to steer clear of the first of these, it’s probably for the best that they retain their anonymity).
Are we a racist country? – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
NZ Comedian Billy T James Too Right A regular column by John Black The Black Sheep Blog Rightminds I’m half-Maori and half-Scottish: One half of me wants to get drunk and the other half doesn’t want to pay for it. Billy T James The ten-year old John Black heard this joke on the Billy T James show circa 1985 and repeated it to everyone he knew. My horrified mother insisted I change ‘Maori’ to ‘Irish’.
Islamophobia or Islamophilia? – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right A regular column by John Black Rightminds A few years ago the English writer Douglas Murray published a book entitled Islamophilia: a very Metropolitan Malady. It attempted to upset the premise of widespread ‘Islamophobia’ by cataloguing the limitless kowtowing of the great and the good to the tender sensitivities of the ‘Religion of Peace’. After the past two weeks he may have to reissue it with a new chapter devoted entirely to New Zealand.
The coward of Christchurch: Where the right goes wrong – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
The coward of Christchurch. Too Right! A regular column by John Black Rightminds.nz In the wake of the devastating events of last Friday there have been and will be fingers pointed at those who hold conservative or ‘Right-wing’ views. This is unfair but understandable.
Don't be mean to Maori online or you could wind up in jail – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too Right! A regular column by John Black Rightminds.nz Sometimes Left-wing idiocy creeps into your bed in the middle of the night and whispers sweet nothings in your ear and sometimes it tries to screw you spread-eagled across the living room sofa. This week it was the latter. In two articles on the Spinoff website, the results of the recent ‘People’s Harassment Report’ were outlined.
The President who ardently defends gay rights – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Although it was mostly unreported, Donald Trump embraced the LGBT community like no other GOP nominee in history. Question: Which American president has been the most ardent defender of gay rights? Bill Clinton? All he could muster on the right of gay people to serve their country was a weak “Don’t ask, don’t tell”. Obama? In the waning years of his presidency, he came round to the idea of gay marriage with about as much enthusiasm as I do when I’m eating my Christmas dinner Brussels sprouts.
Weaponized kids - Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
The children’s crusade on its way to the Holy Land, 1212. (Credit: Bildagentur-Online/UIG via Getty Images) In 1212, children, first in France and then in Germany, began defying their parents, leaving their farms and villages to join the ‘Children’s Crusade’. Under the sway of a charismatic young shepherd, Nicholas of Cologne, they had become inflamed with religious zeal and the mad aim of retaking the Holy Land from the Mohammedans.
Jordan Peterson: Anatomy of a slander – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
(Screengrab/YouTube) Jordan Peterson world famous psychologist, thinker and Kermit the frog impersonator (you’ll understand that one if you’ve ever heard him speak) is coming to town this week.
Waitangi when we could party? – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Ardern makes history at Waitangi marae Otago Daily Times Let me take you to a poignant moment of my dissolute youth. Circa 2002, I’m part of a group of stoned backpackers sitting in the lounge of a seedy backpackers in the outskirts of Bangkok, Thailand. The unshaven tie-died assembly is international if slightly commonwealth heavy: a Yank, a few Canucks, an Aussie, a frog couple, a Paddy, a Jap and two Kiwis.
Are they coming for James Bond next? – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
He’s survived the evil machinations of Blofeld, Goldfinger and Dr No but can he survive his most powerful adversary yet, the Social Justice Warrior? I‘ve been a James Bond junky since, aged ten, I snuck out to the living room to watch From Russia with Love after my parents had gone to bed. The sight of two wild gypsy girls wrestling remains burned in my memory (and explains my liking for women with long dangling earrings and heavily applied mascara) but it is the character of Bond that hooked me.
2019: The year of the Black Singlets – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Photo: Scoop Imagine if you will gentle reader, the following twitter exchange: @Chewbaccasballs56640: “Maori Culture is basically crap.” @leaderofamajorpoliticalparty: “Thank you! This is brave leadership, saying what many of us have long known.” Do you think this leader would survive such a political, social and cultural faux pas? Gone by lunchtime? They’d be gone by the time James Shaw had had his morning tea fair trade gluten-free hummus and kale rice crackers.
Whaleoil at the movies: Green Book – Whale Oil Beef Hooked | Whaleoil Media
Too right! A regular column by John Black. Rightminds.nz The late great screen writer William Goldman held that there was only one unerring rule of the movie business – ‘nobody knows anything’. Something that comes closest to disproving this dictum is the near certain knowledge that the Academy Awards always reward movies about race. Driving Miss Daisy and more recently 12 years a slave and Moonlight all took the best picture Oscar.
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