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Articles by Lars Walker
Defending ‘Adequate’ Humans Against AI AI doesn’t have to outperform the best workers — it only has to be adequate enough to erase millions of jobs.
Yes, yes, I say modestly. I had a brief career in the movie business. That is to say, in a movie-adjacent support occupation. Nothing I did ever appeared on screen; my name isn’t in any list of credits (though I have a couple IMDb listings). I was a production script translator. That’s a title I invented myself, because nobody cared enough to give it a name. Historical background: Around the turn of the 21stcentury, Scandinavian cinema enjoyed a flourishing moment.
‘Damnation Street,’ by Andrew Klavan
Bishop looked the man over. He was a big, evil chuckle-head. A white guy approximately the size of Denver. He had short blond hair and stupid eyes and a vague pharmaceutical smile. He had a voice so deep it sounded like an earth tremor. Andrew Klavan’s Weiss-Bishop trilogy comes to a thundering conclusion in Damnation Street. I’m pretty good with words, but I struggle to express how much I enjoyed it. And I’ve read it before.
‘Dynamite Road,’ and ‘Shotgun Alley,’ by Andrew Klavan
“She changed things,” Whip Pomeroy went on in that same overly sweet, overly elevated tone. “She changed… everything. Everyone. She was like…oh—oh, an unreal creature. Like paintings you see. Or daydreams you have. She was the way people never are. You know? You can’t know.” The time comes, periodically, when I know I need to re-read Andrew Klavan’s Weiss and Bishop trilogy again. I think we’re all feeling a little out of sorts lately. The news has been pretty awful.
‘A Woman Underground,’ by Andrew Klavan
Since in Winters’s interior world, it was always the year 1795, he did not like to curse in front of a lady, so he swallowed his first reaction and said, “That’s awful.” I wish Andrew Klavan’s Cameron Winter novels were two or three times longer than they are. It’s a gift of God that a writer of Klavan’s caliber has become a Christian, thus permitting the creation of amazing books like these (though the Christian subtext is always kept sub). I suppose not everyone reacts to them as I do.
Video Vikings and Christian Conversion
When Viking reenactors (like me) chat around campfires among our wedge-shaped tents, certain topics are likely to come up in conversation. One favorite: everything that’s wrong with the History Channel’s Vikings TV series (2013–2020). This popular series has admittedly lured many recruits into our nerd/macho hobby. But you don’t have to study the historical period long to recognize how radically wrong the show got almost everything.
‘Borrowed Time,’ by John Nolte
“A good man who cannot die, who lives forever, is cursed,” said Mason. “And an evil man who cannot die is a curse on everyone else.” The legend of the longaevi is an old one in Christian tradition, and I suspect it probably exists in other cultures as well. Our ancestors believed in Longinus, the centurion who crucified Christ and was cursed not to die till Judgment Day (I employed this legend in my book The Elder King).
‘The House of Love and Death,’ by Andrew Klavan
A young woman, slender as cigarette smoke, drifted toward him across the lawn. A breeze blew, bearing the first biting chill of winter. An armada of cumulous clouds sailed across the blue sky. Winter could picture the smoke-thin girl borne away on the breeze and vanishing. Yet on she came. I’ve reached a strange point in my strange life when I no longer get Christmas presents. And yet I do get Christmas a present each year, ever since Andrew Klavan started writing his Cameron Winter books.
American Life Has Become a Cartoon-and Not in a Good Way
By Lars Walker Like Wile E. Coyote in a cartoon, Americans keep electing people who stomp on their freedom and unleash destruction. There’s an image that comes to me more and more these days when I think about the present condition of the United States. It’s at once hilarious and terrifying. The image is Wile E. Coyote in the old Warner Brothers’ Road Runner cartoon series (sure to be remembered as a monument of twentieth century American art). Wile E.
Tragedy Without Despair: The Last of the Vikings
Years ago, I read a novel that impressed me deeply. But I couldn’t recommend it to anyone because it was in Norwegian, the English translation long out of print. I’m happy to report that you can now get the English version for your Amazon Kindle. The book is The Last of the Vikings by Johan Bojer (1872–1959). It’s not about Vikings as such.
‘Romeo’s Rage,’ by James Scott Bell
Sometimes somebody has an idea that just works. When an author comes up with a series character who engages mind and heart, and places him or her in stories that mean something to the reader, he’s got gold. James Scott Bell has produced gold in the Mike Romeo series, about a one-time cage fighter and certified genius on a quest for virtue. Romeo’s Rage entertained me and moved me. Mike Romeo gets a call from a friend, a reformed gang member who now does Christian ministry with urban youth.
Liberals on the Border
You know they’re over there, when you think about it. Just across the border. Looking longingly in our direction. Dreaming of a better life. A future for their children. Some kind of society that actually works, that offers a little security and hope. I’m speaking, of course, of Democrats, sadly surveying the ruin their governance has wrought all around them.
A Disappearance in Norway, On the Screen
This commentary (I won’t call it a review) requires this preliminary disclaimer: I have a business connection with the Norwegian miniseries, The Lørenskog Disappearance, now streaming on Netflix. I supplement my retirement by translating Norwegian movie and TV production scripts, and this is one of the projects I’ve worked on.
Too Smart for Our Own Good?
It was one of the few experiences of my life featuring an uplifting lesson. I was in junior high, sitting in the office of Mr. Maus, my school guidance counselor. I was discussing some personal problems I won’t go into here, except that one of them was underachievement in class. At some point Mr. Maus looked at me and asked, “Don’t you think you’re intelligent?” I said no, surprised, frankly, by the question.
The Northman and the Truth
Last week I attended a preview of Robert Eggers’ new film, The Northman, in Minneapolis. I got in because I’m a Viking reenactor, and some of my buddies and I went in our Viking clothes. This isn’t a review, but I suppose I owe it to the people who sent me the pass to inform you I consider the movie a masterpiece of its kind. It’s dark (no, whatever you’re thinking, it’s darker than that), brutal, and shocking. It’s a horror movie at heart, a tale of obsession and vengeance.
In Praise of Younger Sons
“I laughed, and then I asked Jen when she’d be giving me grandkids,” said my friend Ann. “She told me she and her boyfriend had made up their minds never to have babies. I don’t know why that bothers me, but it does.” I could see how Ann could be conflicted about this. Ann’s a good liberal, and a nice person generally. So I just sympathized with her. I didn’t mention that her daughter is simply living out everything Ann has been teaching her all her life.
Racial Justice Riots: Calling Evil Good and Good Evil
I’ve come up with a lot of excuses for not going to the gym over the years. But I think “the police closed it down” is one I’ve never used before. I live near Brooklyn Center, Minnesota, you see. And the gym where I’m a member is in the very shopping complex where the rioters were busy being mostly peaceful Sunday night. I’d like to report to you whether or not the gym is still closed, but I have no plans to drive over there soon. I am not a fearless, frontline journalist.
The Problem With Facebook
Recently I attended my first actual social function since the Late Troubles began. We were careful; we wore masks as we dished up our catered food and set our lawn chairs a distance from one another. It was an ideologically diverse group. I listened to some ideas I regard as rank nonsense, but let them go by. I’m not a confrontational guy. My like-minded friends didn’t make a fuss either. There was one thing we all agreed on, though. We agreed that Facebook is killing us.
Ozymandias Laughs
One of my ancestors knew Abraham Lincoln. All right, that’s not strictly true. He was a collateral ancestor of mine, half-brother to my great-great-grandfather. An early Norwegian settler in Illinois, he was active in the Republican Party. His obituary called him a “friend of Abraham Lincoln.” I take that to mean he was acquainted with Lincoln through party business. But this story isn’t about him. There was nothing remarkable in an Illinois Norwegian being a Republican.
America, Don’t Make Me Your Role Model
First of all, a confession. I’m not suffering all that much under the Lockdown, or Quarantine, or whatever I’m supposed to call it. I work from home as a translator and writer, so my income, though irregular, is largely unaffected. As for “social distancing,” well, you’re talking about what I like to call my lifestyle. Garrison Keillor of “Prairie Home Companion” (remember him?) made the “Norwegian Bachelor Farmer” famous. The Norwegian Bachelor farmer is desperately shy.
Dark Truths on Old TV
I see that the New York Times recently made a “correction” to its much-ballyhooed “1619 Project.” The 1619 Project, of course, is an effort to demythologize American history, ripping away the pretty façade to expose the essential racism and corruption that (supposedly) undergirds our real story. In the past, we are told, the dark realities of American history have been covered up, but they’re going to fix that. “It is finally time to tell our story truthfully,” they proclaim.
Romantic Subversion: The Forgotten Life and Work of Novelist Sigrid Undset
April 14, 2020 By Lars Walker “Do you remember, Aunt, you once told me that it’s a good thing when you don’t dare do something if you don’t think it’s right. But it’s not good when you think something’s not right because you don’t dare do it.” “You didn’t dare because it was sin,” said Fru Aashild. “No, I don’t think so,” said Kristin. “I’ve done many things that I thought I would never dare do because they were sins.
Message to the Young: Beware the Groove
It was around 1973, and I was attending a small midwestern college. This being the ’70s, the school was already busy debriding itself of its past Christian tradition and regenerating as a sort of flyover Dartmouth. I was in a Christian Ethics class, listening to presentations on the topic of sex. A young woman had already informed us that the Roman Catholic Church saw no value in women except as baby factories — I was kind of pleased with myself for asking her how she accounted for nuns.
Escaped Alone: Progressivism Will Never Stop Compromising Your Principles
If you make it to the end of Moby Dick (it’s been done), Herman Melville starts the epilogue with a quotation from the Book of Job: “And I only am escaped alone to tell thee.” Melville’s readers at the time would have understood the biblical reference, but in 2019 I’d probably better explain it. Job, a good man, suffers a series of disasters, losing not only the livestock that makes up his wealth but also his children.
An Early Liberal Who Actually Cared for the Poor
I had the chance to meet a scholar recently, a woman from Norway. I went to hear her talk about a historical figure I’ve written about on this site before — Hans Nielsen Hauge (pronounced “HOW-geh”), the early 19th-century Norwegian lay revivalist.
I, Rose Sayer: Going Downriver With Donald Trump
I’m not a huge fan of the film The African Queen. I’ve actually only seen it twice. But I know it well enough to know that, much as I’d like to tell you I identify with Charlie Allnut, Humphrey Bogart’s character in the film, I’m actually closer to Rose Sayer, as portrayed by Katharine Hepburn. I’m aging and unmarried, straitlaced, religious, and set in my ways. In the last few years I’ve discovered another personal resemblance to Rose.
Slaves to Intellectual Fashion: 1619
The news is full of the New York Times’ latest initiative in enlightening the masses: “The 1619 Project.” The plan is to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the arrival of the first black slaves in what would someday be the United States, marking (in their own words) “the beginning of the system of slavery on which the country was built.” That’s a remarkably tendentious statement, even by the Times’ standards. Note the assumptions included at no extra charge.
The Prison of Purity
The philosopher Jacques Maritain called Marxism a Christian heresy (full disclosure: I haven’t read Maritain — I found it in a web search). That wasn’t an Olympian leap of logic — you cut the spiritual stuff out of Christ’s teachings and concentrate on the sharing your toys part, and you’ve pretty much got Marxism. It’s Christianity without grace — all works, easier to comprehend, and more flattering to human pride.
Imminent Victorians
Honor requires that I attribute the title of this piece to a Time magazine review of John Fowles’s The French Lieutenant’s Woman, published back in 1969. A good pun sticks with me for life. Another memory that’s stuck with me nearly as long is a brief conversation I had shortly after college. I was taking an evening class in Minneapolis, and one of my fellow students happened to be a female state legislator.
The View from What Used to Be the Library
“I kind of feel like the captain of a cruise ship.” That’s how I used to describe my job (last seen headed down the budget chipper) as head librarian for a small religious school. My duties weren’t much like a cruise ship captain’s at all—they wouldn’t even let me wear my semi-authentic embroidered sailor cap—but I meant the view, which was the best on campus. We occupied a large “footprint” (as it’s called nowadays) on the second floor of the campus center.
Found in Translation: Conservative Themes in ‘Viking Legacy’
If you’re reading this article, it’s due to the forbearance of Wlady Pleszczynski, who could easily have rejected it as plain shilling for a book of my own. But I’m the translator, not the author, of Viking Legacy, by Dr. Torgrim Titlestad. My subject is how I came to work on this project, and why it might be interesting to American conservatives. I snagged my imagination on the Viking Age as a boy, and started reading everything on the subject I could find.
Not a Defense of Bill Cosby
It’s always risky to say anything about a prominent social pariah involving less than a call for hanging, drawing, and quartering. Yet, without defending the man’s pretty obvious crimes, I’d like to take a chance and say that I can understand — to some extent — how Bill Cosby probably went wrong. I won’t spend much time on his legacy as a cultural icon. He was never Cliff Huxtable to me. I rarely watched that show.
Does This Scaffold Sway the Future?
As a conservative living in the shadows in Minneapolis, I don’t generally look to the Walker (no relation) Art Center for hope and inspiration. But a recent story out of the Walker has given me a little hope. And boy, I can use it. Minnesota Public Radio reports in this article on a small crisis the museum experienced last month. The museum hosts a sculpture garden (probably most famous for Claes and Coosje van Bruggen Oldenburg’s whimsical yet monumental “Spoonbridge and Cherry”).
The Christian Fantasy
In his essay, “On Fairy Stories,” J. R. R. Tolkien, the greatest modern Christian fantasist, drove what should have been a fatal stake (perhaps of mistletoe) through the heart of the accusation that fantastic stories are “just escapism”: “Why should a man be scorned, if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home?
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