2016 Bell Prize winner. Madeline Friend Essay Nov. 14, 2016 From the print edition Like Tweet Email Print Subscribe Donate Now Water chops against my face, and suddenly I am 17 again, clinging to straps and leaning into each whitecap. We crest the final wave of Hermit, one of the Grand Canyon’s most enjoyable rapids, and I realize I am smiling. Smiling ear-to-ear, crinkly eyes. Smiling. A real smile, after two years of fake grins and forced cheeriness. What is happening?