Speaking Bipolar's Positivity Club

Slow down and heal. | Image made with OpenArt. I’m a Gen Xer, and most of us were raised to believe that we should be busy pretty much all the time. In fact, my dad even used to ask us at supper time, “What did you do today to deserve this meal?” If we didn’t have a good answer for how we spent our day productively, there was a chance we didn’t eat at all. (That may sound horrific now, but it was pretty common in the ‘70s.) That mindset carried with me throughout my life.

Sometimes things fall apart. | Image made with OpenArt. In my early twenties, I was a full-time volunteer minister and also ran my own business. My business was great for several years, until the internet started to become more of a thing, and then suddenly, my business disappeared overnight. Not long later, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I felt like everything went down the toilet.

Learn lessons from your favorite show. | Image made with OpenArt. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been rewatching the show Superstore. I didn’t think I would like it when it came out, but it had a few actors I like, so I gave it a shot. I also wondered how it would compare to the reality of working in a big box store. In high school, I worked for one, and then a few years later I did again.

Have fun and make a mess. | Image made with OpenArt. If you’ve been in the Positivity Club any time at all, you know that I started watercolor painting about this time last year. I’d love to say that I’ve grown as an artist in that time, but I feel like I’m going nowhere. Fortunately, I know that being a watercolor artist is not my purpose. Thank goodness! If I thought it was, the pressure to be amazing would be overwhelming.

Find support even if far away. | Image made with OpenArt. Some time ago, I was watching an influencer on YouTube who was talking about purpose. She insisted that finding your purpose is something that should be loudly proclaimed, and all of your accomplishments should be public achievements for the whole world to see. I quickly turned her off because it simply isn’t true. Your purpose does not have to be loud and it does not have to be public.

Life isn’t over. | Image made with OpenArt. When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it felt like a death sentence. I was sure that my life was over, and that I never would be a productive member of society again. The next three years were brutal, and I was sure that my first fear was going to be true. But in time, I learned how to manage my bipolar disorder, to take breaks when I need to, and to accept that there are going to be bad days no matter what treatment plan I’m following.

It’s okay to drop a few nuts. | Image made with OpenArt. Do you like habit chains? I have mixed feelings about them. While they can be a great source of dopamine, they also can cause crushing guilt and depression. For context, a habit chain is when you track your consistency of doing something. For example, on the first day of the month, you walk for 30 minutes. You place an X on the calendar to show that you did it.

Find a safe place to open up. | Image made with OpenArt. One of my dearest friends asked me yesterday how I was really doing. I replied, “To most people, I would say ‘good’, but because I know you’re someone who actually cares, let me tell you…” My friend understands mental illness, chronic illness, and the masks we often have to wear to make other people feel comfortable. What they don’t see is how much energy it takes to wear that mask.

Time to recharge. | Image made with OpenArt. Two weeks ago, I got up on a Sunday morning, took a shower, put on nice clothes, and took my mom to Bible study. I felt halfway okay, so I had a smile on my face and was happy to see my friends. At its usual time, the meeting began, and then a few minutes later, something switched inside me. I felt like I was an electric fan, and someone had just pulled my cord out of an outlet. In an instant, I went from feeling okay to completely devoid of energy.

Take some time to slow down. | Image made with OpenArt. Imagine you’re a night security guard. Every night, you sit in a dimly lit office watching a dozen screens displaying all the areas of a large building. It might sound pretty boring. But, imagine there’s a billion dollars in cash in the middle of this building. If you can keep the cash safe, the building owner has promised to give half of it to you. There’s a catch, though. If you don’t keep the money safe, he’s going to kill you.