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Articles by Oto Ozul
USPS announces Barbie postage stamps: "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds"
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FARK.com: (14050074) On this day in history, in 4977 BC, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move
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(14042008) What could be worse than living in a mobile home park in rural Kentucky?
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FARK.com: (14032044) Former Army worker arrested after allegedly leaking classified information to journalist instead of just posting it directly to journalists on signal group chats like the Secretary Bro of War
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FARK.com: (14024122) Bit of Alaskan permafrost the size of [Greece; Wisconsin; about fifty Rhode Islands, about fifty million American football fields; unknown number of washing machines, or large boulders the size of small boulders] thawing really quickl
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(14011488) Driver caught with $2M in stolen IPhones, all 35 of which were returned to their original owners
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FARK.com: (14005716) Walmart theft suspect tosses pistol while running from police in Yelm, sheriff says. Which is sad, because the gun was probably worth more than anything you could shoplift there
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(14000692) Loudmouth loose cannon and KISS frontman Gene Simmons tells Mark Ruffalo and Ben Stiller to STFU about politics
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Early contender for Mugshots of the Year: featuring Chadillac Saurus Rexx and his wife Manda Saurus
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Murder mystery of murder mystery writer's murder solved. It was his caregiver. With caregivers like that I'd prefer not to have care. Bonus: Guy also shot a state trooper
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FARK.com: (13980140) Protip: If your identity is stolen, agents of the government won't personally call you to let you know about the crime. And even if they do, they won't instruct you to buy gold for them in order to protect the rest of your assets
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(13973644) Erik Kirk removes their wedding photo, internet immediately drafts prenup for her next husband. AI-generated song expected momentarily
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(13967482) Duke Sucks for Drew's Birthday
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FARK.com: (13960138) Buried in 2026 defense budget rests directive to study mental health impact among military drone pilots. Because stalking targets over weeks, months, getting to know them personally before taking them out, might cause issues
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Protip: When trying to impress a stripper with a floral bouquet and chocolates costing $288, don't pay the florist with counterfeit bills
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(13946200) (Redacted) is just standing in front of the press randomly holding up mug shots now
I've been doing house chores today, so not really paying attention to the "briefing" (it's coming on two hours, now, how TF is that "brief"???) So, anyhow, it's on in the bedroom, where Mrs. Nuisance is kicking back, and when I pass by I take in a sentence or two, and every sentence, even every clause that make up those rambling sentences has just been blatantly false. It's astonishing, really. Completely detached from Reality. And he's been at it for almost two hours.
(13944612) Why Blue Monday is a "load of rubbish." Sounds like the author has a case of the Mondays
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FARK.com: (13944234) Coast Guard stops sailboat heading from Keys to Cuba, carrying British man, Russian-born US citizen, Canadian woman. Who gets arrested? Place guesses to right; find answers to left
Is the boat US flag or other? If it's US flag then they kinda get to stop you anywhere. If not then in normal times when the USN wasn't necessarily murderous pirates, you'd need a very good reason to stop a foreign flagged vessel in international water - "not cleared door Cuba" is bullshiat. BVI or Cayman registered and flagged boats are the best choice for the Caribbean and entering the US.
(13942960) Now that's a political headline
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(13938148) NBC pulls Timothy Busfield's SVU abuse episode due to his participation in a real SVU case
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(13930162) Brianworm's MAHA has failed as Flu cases hit highest level in 30 years
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(13925100) Police investigating car thefts have their car stolen
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