Sil Lai Abrams on Muck Rack

Sil Lai Abrams

Healing, New York, Northeast
As seen in: HuffPost, Yahoo News, The Hollywood Reporter, The Daily Beast, Marie Claire, Sisters from AARP, Ebony, MadameNoire, TheGrio, Kirkus Reviews
Covers:  Gender, cultural commentary, domestic violence, sexual violence
Mother. Writer. Gender violence awareness. Restorative Justice. Radical Black Feminist. Cancer 🌞/Scorpio 🌙. She/Her/Ella. ♥️ 🇨🇷 Instagram ➡️ @sillaiabrams
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Articles by Sil Lai Abrams

Girl, Don’t Date Him: 7 Red Flags To Look Out For On Online Dating Profiles

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video The end of the year often brings resolutions in our personal and professional lives. For single women, the “new year, new me” mindset can inspire us to seek out new relationships and experiences. Whether you’re looking for a short-term fling or a long-term partner, online dating offers a space to expand your relationship prospects. According to the Pew Research Center, one-in-ten partnered adults met their current significant other through a dating app.
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7 Tips For Surviving The Holidays With Your Dysfunctional Family

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video The holidays with family are a mix of love and tension, where unresolved conflicts often temper the warmth of togetherness. There’s something extraordinary about being around familiar faces that can bring both comfort and annoyance. Amid laughter and good food, we may face passive-aggressive comments and the resentment of unmet expectations. Yet, despite the stressors, there’s an undeniable pull for many to come together and share in the joy and messiness of it all.
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Get In Formation — 5 Reasons I Started Skateboarding At 53

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video The older I get, the more bored I become of repetitive gym workouts. Don’t get me wrong: I DO exercise three to four times a week, usually a routine that is a mix of walking in nature, biking, or strength building that I can do within my home. Last year, I began to see a surge of posts featuring young women skateboarding.
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9 Red Flags That May Be a Sign It's Time To Try Sobriety

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video In an era where substance use often goes unchecked, many people don’t realize when their drinking or drug use is escalating. They might find their daily alcohol consumption increasing, or that their regular cannabis use is affecting their job performance. Or they’re constantly thinking about how many Percocets they can take each day to take the edge off their stress without getting spacey while taking care of their kids.
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7 Sexy Black-Owned Sober Bars For Ladies Looking To Ditch Alcohol

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By Bandmate Pras Michél, Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video It’s Sober October and in a world where drinking is often seen as a social norm, sober bars are revolutionizing the way we connect, offering a welcoming alternative for those seeking community without the pressure to consume alcohol.
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8 Free And Effective Things You Can Do To Improve Your Psyche On World Mental Health Day And Beyond

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By Bandmate Pras Michél, Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video In honor of World Mental Health Day, it’s critical to recognize the importance of its theme “It Is Time to Prioritize Mental Health in the Workplace.” Like many people, I’ve struggled with my emotional health through avoidance and the relentless pursuit of success. I sought temporary relief in achievements, chasing those dopamine hits that distracted me from my feelings, but this approach only masked the deeper issues.
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The Loveland, BIPOC Therapy Funds Are Helping Black Women Find And Afford The Aid They Need

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video In January 2022, friends, family, and fans were shocked when Cheslie Kryst, a former Miss USA pageant winner, lawyer, and TV correspondent, took her own life. She was only 30 years old. Her death rocked our beliefs about who is at risk, upending the dominant narrative that those who die by their hand are primarily aging, isolated white men in the rural United States. A recent study found that between 1999 and 2020, the suicide rates of Black women ballooned by 62%.
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Two Experts Reveal Shocking Myths To Treating Hair Loss In Black Women: 'Protective Styles Are Protective'

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By Danica Daniel , Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video Hair loss is a traumatic experience that affects over 50% of Black women at some point in their lives. Last year, I noticed my hair was starting to fall out. After four months of agonizing over the accelerating loss, I sought treatment from a dermatologist. My doctor didn’t do much more than peer at my scalp and write a prescription for oral medication.
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Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before Turning 50: ‘F-Boys Will Still Be F-Boys’

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video When I was in my twenties, I thought that I’d be over the hill at thirty. When I turned forty, I thought I had everything figured out. Now at 54, I feel like I’m just now starting to understand what’s important. Whether you’re 35 or 75, it’s never too late to learn something new. Here are ten things I wish I’d known before turning 50: Always grasping, never enough. Someone once told me, “There is nothing worse than a missed opportunity.” Ten years later, I call bullshit.
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The Great Pause: Menopause Introduces Women To Far More Than Hot Flashes

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video When I think back to my earliest memories of menopause the first word that comes to mind is “Klymaxx.” Not as in THAT climax, but as in the 80s singers. “The Men All Pause.” Whenever I saw advertisements for products that address hot flashes, vaginal dryness, thinning hair, grey hair, arthritis and those annoying television spots with the repetitive chant, “Stress raises cortisol and cortisol increases belly fat” I would brush them aside.
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Are We Finally Embracing Our Aging Tresses?

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| MadameNoire
MadameNoire Featured Video If one were to take a look at the social media feeds of people near and far, a curious phenomenon will reveal itself. Mixed in with the standard lifestyle posts starring fitness enthusiasts, makeup artists, and luxury travel are a conspicuous number of individuals with grey or greying hair. As we age melanocytes in our hair follicles (the same cells that produce our glorious skin colors) stop producing melanin, which leads to a loss of pigmentation in our hair.
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When will the cult of Ye stop absolving the troubled genius?

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| TheGrio
Writer and anti-domestic violence activist Sil Lai Abrams on the dangers of giving passes to gifted men. Loading the player... Depending on who you ask, the artist formerly known as Kanye West, now simply “Ye,” could be considered abusive or a genius. Or, as he says, a “jeen-yuhs.” Photo: Rich Fury/Getty Images for Coachella With regard to the former characterization, it’s a simple statement that, at first glance, comes off as accusatory or inflammatory.
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When will the cult of Ye stop absolving the troubled genius?

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Yahoo News
OPINION: Writer and anti-domestic violence activist Sil Lai Abrams on the dangers of giving passes to gifted men. Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio. Depending on who you ask, the artist formerly known as Kanye West, now simply “Ye,” could be considered abusive or a genius.
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Hotline helps men navigate their toxic masculinity. But can it effectively address gender violence?

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| TheGrio
EXCLUSIVE: On "The Calm Line," psychologists take calls from men struggling with violence and controlling, jealous behaviors and offer them healthy advice. Loading the player... Gender violence is estimated to affect one-third of the global population of women and female-identified persons. Some of the patterns of coercive behaviors that fall within the spectrum of gender violence are domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, intimate partner terrorism, and stalking.
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Governments are offering cash to domestic violence survivors -- critics say it’s not enough

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| TheGrio
Black women in the United States and Aboriginal women in Australia face the double-bind of racism and sexism, leading to significantly higher rates of intimate partner violence. Loading the player... Domestic violence is a global women’s health issue that is estimated to have affected 736 million women (1 in 3) at least once in their lifetime.
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Will R. Kelly's conviction lead to true justice for his victims?

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| TheGrio
OPINION: Journalist Sil Lai Abrams explores if a hybrid approach of restorative justice and confinement could be the better answer in seeking justice in Kelly's sexual abuse case CHICAGO, IL – SEPTEMBER 17: Singer R. Kelly turns to leave after appearing at a hearing at the Leighton Criminal Courthouse on September 17, 2019 in Chicago, Illinois. Kelly is facing multiple sexual assault charges and is being held without bail.
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Laura Araujo's parents on forgiving her killer and the complexity of restorative justice

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| TheGrio
EXCLUSIVE: Seven years after their daughter was murdered, Anania and Dr. Lorenzo Araujo, Sr. explain why they would've preferred rehabilitation rather than retribution for the man who murdered her. Loading the player... For many people, the idea of losing a child is considered one of the worst tragedies to befall a parent. In common law societies such as the United States, the only legal mechanism for holding a person accountable for death is through the criminal legal system.
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It's Time to Stop Treating Black Female Survivors of Sexual Assault as Race Traitors

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Marie Claire
Trigger Warning: This piece includes descriptions of sexual assault. I first met Russell Simmons at a nightclub in New York City when I was a 19-year-old model. Our friendship was cemented in our love of nightlife and consuming alcohol. When I was 21, Russell and I began casually dating, off and on. In the summer of 1994, I called Russell to let him know I was in town and asked if he wanted to hang out, strictly as friends.
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Lil Reese and Big Russ=Major Problems

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Ebony
About a week ago, a disturbing video surfaced on WorldStarHipHop.com that showed a largely unknown Chicago rapper named “Lil’ Reese” unleash a barrage of blows on a young woman who took exception with he and a group of friends coming into her home. That the young Def Jam-signee use of his fists of fury on a young woman who was later identified as recent high school graduate Tiairah Marie was shocking enough.
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Why I Went Back to School

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Sisters from AARP
It had been 32 years since I’d been in a classroom, and my kids are older than my classmates. April 6, 2020 Fall 2016. For a decade, I’d built an entrepreneurial career that brought me tremendous satisfaction in spite of the financial ups-and-downs that accompany small business ownership. From the outside, I seemed to be riding a wave of success.
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5 Things Guaranteed to Keep You Single

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Ebony
Love & Relationships Timeless insight into why you may want a partner but don’t have one is offered in this reposted April 2012 article. Photo by Kory Williams on Unsplash I was having a conversation the other day with my contractor Jose, an Ecuadorian man who has been married to the same woman for 16 years.
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It’s Not Just Ronan Farrow: NBC News Killed My Rape-Allegation Story Too

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| The Daily Beast
In the days leading up to the publication of Catch & Kill, Ronan Farrow’s blockbuster account of his dealings with NBC News, I have been struck by the company’s insistence that Ronan didn’t have the Harvey Weinstein story in the bag. I don’t believe a word of what it says because in 2018, the network killed my #MeToo story that was being reported by MSNBC host Joy-Ann Reid. Incredibly, a year after NBC botched Farrow’s reporting on Harvey Weinstein, they had the audacity to do it again.
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Your Blackness Isn't Like Mine:  Colorism And Oppression Olympics

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| HuffPost
Monday night, actor and activist Jesse Williams gave a powerful speech at the BET Awards upon receiving the Humanitarian Award, during which he spoke eloquently, passionately, and dare I say -- even lovingly to the audience of millions. I have seen hundreds of awards show acceptance speeches and Williams was the first Black man I witnessed stand up and acknowledge the sacrifices of Black women on this type of platform.
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Black Girls Rock, Run - and Surf

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Sisters from AARP
Every year, I take a trip to Costa Rica. I’d heard it was a country that values the environment, and in January 2016, when I went for the first time, I found it was a place where I could spiritually and physically recharge. It’s my annual gift to myself, a commitment to my well-being. This winter, as I made my plans, I decided 2019 would be the year I learned how to surf. I can’t say where the idea came from.
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When Women's March Leader Tamika Mallory Backed Russell Simmons, She Betrayed Women Like Me

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| The Daily Beast
At what point does blind loyalty become betrayal? In the firestorm of controversy surrounding the Women's March, co-president Tamika Mallory has remained steadfast in her refusal to condemn Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan. Mallory argues that to condemn a person is antithetical to her personal ethos and runs contra to the work she has been doing for the last 20 years.
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Sil Lai Abrams on the Women Standing By Her Abusers

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| bitchmedia.org
(Photo credit: Creative Commons/Flickr/Bitch Media Illustration) Women’s anger has fueled every political movement in the United States, from suffrage to Civil Rights to #MeToo. Women’s anger is a powerful, unshakeable force that sends people from marginalized communities into the streets, the courtrooms, the classrooms, and beyond to fight for the more just world that our ancestors fought for and our descendants will fight for long after we’re gone.
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Are You Being Emotionally Manipulated?

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Ebony
Emotional or psychological manipulation (also known as “mind-effing”) is defined as behavior that is intended to change the attitude or behavior of other people by using devious, deceptive or even abusive means. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where someone does something to harm you and during the course of the discussion about what happened and you find yourself apologizing to THEM, you’ve been emotionally manipulated.
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The Aftermath Of My Assault Allegations Against Russell Simmons And AJ Calloway

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| HuffPost
Note: On June 28, 2018, The Hollywood Reporter published allegations by Sil Lai Abrams, who said that she had been sexually assaulted by Russell Simmons and “Extra” co-host A.J. Calloway. Those allegations followed stories from multiple women making similar accusations against Simmons, all of which he has denied. Calloway has also denied Abrams’ allegations.
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Russell Simmons Rape Accuser Sil Lai Abrams: Why It's Harder for Black Women to Come Forward (Guest Column)

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| The Hollywood Reporter
On June 28, The Hollywood Reporter published my allegations that I was raped in 1994 by Def Jam record label co-founder Russell Simmons. I also alleged that in late December 2006, I was sexually assaulted by A.J. Calloway, currently a co-host on the television show Extra. Up front, I want to address a few issues surrounding the circumstances of my assaults. One: Both men were not strangers to me. In fact, at the time of the attacks I considered them friends.
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I Cannot Take Gabrielle Union's Op-Ed On Nate Parker's Rape Allegations Lightly

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| HuffPost
This morning I awakened and checked my Twitter feed. Immediately my eyes were drawn to the statement issued by Gabrielle Union on Nate Parker and his rape allegations. Reading through her op-ed, I found myself like, her, in a "state of stomach churning confusion." Like Gabrielle, I am a survivor of sexual violence. On two occasions, I was drunk and unable to give consent. Like Union and Parker's victim, the only witnesses were me and my assailant(s).
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Your Blackness Isn't Like Mine: Colorism And Oppression Olympics

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| HuffPost
Monday night, actor and activist Jesse Williams gave a powerful speech at the BET Awards upon receiving the Humanitarian Award, during which he spoke eloquently, passionately, and dare I say -- even lovingly to the audience of millions. I have seen hundreds of awards show acceptance speeches and Williams was the first Black man I witnessed stand up and acknowledge the sacrifices of Black women on this type of platform.
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What Makes A Person 'Truly' Black? The Complicated Intersection Of Genetics And Race

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| HuffPost
A few weeks ago Ebony.com posted a story about the magazine's Senior Editor Jamilah Lemieux's results from her 23 and Me DNA test, a light hearted piece on a Black woman's desire to find her roots. The test revealed that she is essentially 53% White and 47% Black.
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BLACK LOTUS by Sil Lai Abrams

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| Kirkus Reviews
A writer and motivational speaker’s account of how she learned to embrace complex truths about her biracial ancestry that her dysfunctional family had kept hidden. As a child, Maui native Abrams believed that her mother, Daisy, was Chinese and her father, George, was a white American. Both parents, who had come together for reasons of “desperation and addiction,” had told their daughter that her brown skin and curly hair were proof that she was Hawaiian.
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Not Your Acceptable Black Woman

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By Sil Lai Abrams
| HuffPost
The idea that we as Black people are constantly reimagining ourselves within a society historically devoid of our existence reoccurs thematically throughout most artistic, entertainment, and most recently, digital media [re] presentations of blackness. In response to the continuous bombardment of what have historically been largely stereotypical depictions of our existence, much of the pushback on these mis-representations were rooted in the politics of respectability.
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