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Articles by Swoop Johnson
RIP Diesel, The Good And Noble Police Dog Killed During Police Raid On Paris Terrorists
A police dog was killed this morning during a raid targeting the suspected “masterminds” of the deadly Paris attacks that took the lives of 129 people last Friday. Diesel, a seven-year-old Belgian Shepherd, was killed at some point during the seven-hour raid on an apartment in the suburbs of Paris. The seven-year-old Belgian Shepherd was killed sometime during the seven-hour siege on an apartment in the Paris suburb of Saint Denis; French police tweeted on Wednesday.
88-Year-Old World War II Veteran Reunited With Fraternity Pin After 70 Years
Anything that involves World War II veterans is almost always incredibly badass and patriotic. Those men are part of our country’s Greatest Generation, after all. Throw in a man who was recently reunited with his fraternity pin after thinking he lost it during the war and you have one hell of a story. Bob Ragan is an 88-year-old Beta Theta Pi and U.S. Army Air Corps veteran.
Texas Tech Tri-Delt’s Tumblr Will Make You Want To Be A Better Person
We’re starting this week off with a bombshell. Texas Tech’s Tri-Delt has a Tumblr and it is fantastic. Thank God for these beautiful Texas women. My Monday was looking pretty shitty before I came across this gem. I’ve always said Texas Tech sneakily has some of the hottest women in the country, and after seeing this, I feel like a damn genius. Check out their full Tumblr page HERE. The highlights are below. Wait a second. Why are you girls trying to sneak this past me? Farrah is a Texas grad.
Total Frat Move | Ole Miss
I have no idea why this doesn’t have more comments. This shit is hilarious. Whoever posted it here had his head in the right place. -3 Log in to reply or vote on comments
How Much Is Your College Football Team Worth?
This is different from the list Forbes recently published that detailed 2012’s most valuable college football programs. The Wall Street Journal published the intrinsic valuations of 115 FBS teams. Simply put, if your college football program was for sale, what would the price tag be? According to an annual analysis of the values of college-football programs, Texas remains the most valuable team in the sport.
25 Reasons GDIs Hate Greeks (And Why They’re All Bullshit)
1. “I don’t want to buy my friends.” We didn’t buy friends, we bought better friends. 2. “You guys do all that gay hazing.” You are a misinformed pussy. 3. “Frat guys are so fucking elitist.” Not elitist. Elite. 4. “You’re just slaves to the system.” With the unbelievable amount of partying and unprotected sex we can have, I’m pretty okay with this system. 5.
Breaking Down the University of Dayton Sigma Chi’s Drunken Mini-Mart Rampage
Anyone who has ever been on a bus ride to formal knows that it is one of the great shitshows in all of Greek Life. Everyone is blackout, someone is getting finger blasted in the bathroom or OTPHJ’d in their seat, and nobody is giving any fucks…about anything. Goddammit do I miss formal bus rides. But before you go claiming that your formal bus ride was all kinds of depraved, know that the Sigma Chi chapter from the University of Dayton just raised the bar for bus ride mayhem.
Josh Gordon Claims Baylor Coaches Supplied Him With Detox Kits To Pass Drug Tests
In a recent video interview released by UNINTERRUPTED, ex-Baylor wide receiver Josh Gordon says his marijuana use was enabled by his coaches. According to Gordon one coach allegedly warned him of upcoming drug tests, and supplied him with detox drinks to help him pass. “I’ve been enabled most of my life. I’ve been enabled by coaches, teachers, professors, everybody, pretty much, gave me a second chance because of my ability.
Welcome To College! It’s Time To Ditch Your High School Girlfriend
I, like many little foolish boys before me, entered into college with a girlfriend. This would have been like Christopher Columbus setting sail with all of his anchors already dropped. You’re heading to the promised land, Chris; why complicate the journey? Guided by immature notions of romance and love, I clung to something that provided me with familiarity and comfort but ultimately delayed and stunted my progress and development. Your looming breakup is inevitable.
No, The Charlottesville Racist Douchebags Aren’t “Frat Boys” - They’re Just Racist Douchebags
Dear fake news: just because a college-aged racist dumbfuck is wearing a polo shirt, that doesn’t mean he’s in a fraternity. It’s crazy, but I promise you it’s true. There have been no shortage of opinion pieces since the fallout of this weekend’s disgusting happenings in Charlottesville where alt-right, neo-Nazis — more commonly known as racist shitbags — decided to hold a rally that turned deadly.
Oregon FIJI, Student Government Presidential Candidate, Allegedly Attempted To Bribe And Threaten His DU Opponent
One of the most amusing aspects of both Greek life and college student governments is how certain people get all up their own asses about the politics of it all, and treat every little thing like it’s some clandestine, world shaking decision. You’re managing what amounts to a philanthropic social club populated by gifted alcoholics with poor decision making skills, or, if it’s a student government, a worthless entity. This isn’t House of Cards. This isn’t even Parks and Rec. Chill out.
UOPD Officers In Trouble For Making List Of People And Things That Should “Eat A Bowl Of Dicks”
While I have never actually worked a graveyard shift, from what I understand, it’s usually a time where you do a lot of nothing. The shift provides endless hours of boredom in which you can ponder your life, your goals, that shitty patch job on the wall–anything that can pass the time. The police officers working the graveyard shift at the University of Oregon passed their time in a rather unique way–they kept a list of people and things that can “eat a bowl of dicks.” That’s pretty fucking frat.
Kansas State Changes Integrated Student Information System’s Name So It’s No Longer Called ISIS
ISIS has reached college campuses in the United States, but Kansas State isn’t negotiating with these fuckers. The school changed its Integrated Student Information System’s name from iSIS to KSIS. TAKE THAT, TERRORISM. KSIS stands for, you guessed it, K-State Student Information System. It’s genius. Their creativity is mind-blowing.
High School Football Recruits Are Not Celebrities
Let me start by admitting that I am an unabashed follower of college football recruiting. The kids committing or signing with your team out of high school are the future and obviously play a large role in whether or not your team will be any good. Thus, I monitor it closely. However, an increasingly annoying trend among these high school recruits has developed in recent years.
Scientists Need To Finally Create A Shot That Doesn’t Taste Like Liquid Garbage
When I say this, keep in mind that I LOVE shots. More than life itself, more than my country, more than my God, more than my children (I don’t have any children, but when I do, I’ll love them less than shots). As a matter of fact, I say all of this BECAUSE I love shots. It’s tough love.
12 Things You Should Avoid Right Now If You’re A Professional Athlete
“Come to the Kentucky Derby, bro! We got a box! Let’s watch these majestic beasts gallop together! It’ll be awesome!” Yeah, right. Next thing you know, someone slips all kinds of molly and cocaine into your drink, and you start handing out $100 bills to strangers and failing drug tests. Have fun getting suspended because you just had to watch Seabiscuit run in a circle. 2. Emails, text messages, all other forms of recorded communication, and computers in general. What are you, stupid?
Why Girls Should Not Cut Their Hair Short
None of us grew up looking at or imagining ourselves with women rocking a solid scissor fade. Still, over the past couple of years, there has been a disturbing trend spreading across gender lines: pixie cuts. Knockouts such as Catwoman and Hermoine have famously fallen victim to the shorter hairstyle trend and BeyoncĂŠ honestly just looked like she was trying to pull off the frat swoop.
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