Teisha LeShea
(Me Myself I)
California
Covers:
Mental health, spirituality, personal essays and therapy.
Doesn't Cover:
Politics and popular celebrity gossip.
Articles by Teisha LeShea
Medium Has My Money Hostage
I want my money (starting August 1, 2024) Whether to stay or not to stay is the question. Around this time of year, I have this tug-of-war with my inner thoughts about this platform. The highlight is that I've met some fantastic people. I dislike that nobody is reading my stories, and I'm paying for a partnership program that isn't adding to my wallet. As someone who pays for the partner program, I'm an investor in the product.
About Me - Teisha LeShea
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. Maya Angelou (an update 2024) This image of me will always be mine. I’m not afraid to sue (insert sly grin here). I also started my loc journey a little over two years ago. Rereading my first about me, I realized it’s outdated, and a lot has changed since I wrote it. I’ve lost and gained jobs, started writing projects, left others, had a few surgeries, and been rich and poor.
A Million No’s That Led to Yes
A poem No matter how often you attempt to see the brighter side, you get to a point when you’re tired of hearing no. No, you didn’t qualify. You need more money. No, you’re not good enough. No, not right now. No, it’s because you’re a woman. No, you don’t have all of the qualifications. No, we choose someone more aligned with the role. No, you’re not skinny enough. No, you shouldn’t wear that. No No No What am I supposed to do with all these no’s? Is this a trick? Am I being punked?
Fear To Spread My Wings
A poem A part of me still cares about what you think of me. From the way I look and act to how goofy I can be. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable being entirely me. Masking who I am is my comfort place. I feel content with being the last turtle in the race. To not be the center of attention. To worry about how my image forms others’ perceptions. I’m close to stepping out and saying, “Come stop and stare.” Bottling up who I am doesn’t get me anywhere. To laugh and not cover up my smile.
Grey Matter: A Penny for Your Thoughts
Introducing the Pink Elephant Welcome back to my Then and Now series, where I aim to re-introduce some of my old written work and write about how far I’ve come. If you want to start any healing journey, I will be the first to say it’s hard. Nothing about it is easy, but you must stay vigilant and focused on your overall goal. We don’t always get it right, even when we think we do, and that’s ok. Growth starts when you look back and admit that you didn’t always hit the mark.
You Can’t Pray the Depression Away
You Can’t Pray the Depression Away Image created using Copilot Yesterday, I announced a new series that I wanted to try. I aim to introduce some of my old written work and write about how far I’ve come. My first piece was a success regarding relationships. We don’t always get it right, even when we think we do, and that’s ok. Growth starts when you look back and admit that you didn’t always hit the mark.
Reverse Hypnosis
It’s time we all stop walking around like zombies. If I could describe 2024 in one word, I would call it exhaustion. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and in some cases spiritually, I’ve been feeling exhausted. Enough is enough. I’m tired of being tired. I decided to break the chains of foggy brain, mid-day yawns, and puffy eyes. These drastic changes throughout my day-to-day aren’t case studied, nor do they have statistical data to back any of this up. I’m going on a whim here.
I Don’t Know if I Want to Be a Mom
And that’s ok After reading 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓪 𝓒 article Is It Selfish to Wait Until Later in Life to Have a Child? I pondered the question myself; being a mother is a topic I’m indecisive about, and that’s a question I will never know the answer to. I wrote my first viral article, “No Baby, No Problem,” explaining why I don’t want to become a mother and how I enjoy freedom over caring for others.
Writing Is My Playground You Are a Guest
Violators will be kicked out. Many people forget that writing is another form of art and expression. You will understand much of what you read but never understand some of it. Like most, “everything ain’t for everybody,” which is fine. There are enough writers around that can cater to their specific audience. My writing career started in high school when my aunt would mail me a new journal each year. From the first page to the last are words of emotions, crushes, and stories about being a teenager.
Get Paid in 30 Seconds
Whoever told me or slightly suggested never to look at my Medium stats, I should’ve listened as of late. I only look at total earnings for the month and not individual stats. I’m not a cat. I’m not too fond of house cats, but if I were, my curiosity would lead me to six feet under because I looked, and after viewing those stats, I felt perplexed. Should I be excited about the overall monthly stat or not be excited to see my stories receiving thirty views with two reads?
Gazing at the Sky - A Poem
Blue With streaks of whip cream white As a cool breeze touches one’s face A calmness Eyes closed with satisfaction Head tilting back Nose Pointing towards the sky Relief Hope Peace Eyes open Curious as to When the bright Sky And darkness Collide There are so many questions while gazing at the sky.
2024 - The Year of the Dragon
2024 — The Year of the Dragon On a Saturday morning with a chill in the air, the weekend came without a care. The coffee was hot with five drops of creamer. The sip on my lips is the only thing I can dream of. Watching the sun appear through the clouds. I stood with a cup in my hand and whispered, “Wow.” After a few sips of coffee, I sat on my couch. What a beautiful day! I don’t have any doubts. As I stared at the wall admiring my art, I stared so hard I couldn’t tell these dragons apart.
Are You Divorced Before You Get Married?
Prompt: Let’s talk about marriage — give me an overall examination of it as an institution and a relationship between two people. I’m not interested in religious views of it; I want philosophical views. I’m almost forty years old and still unsure if marriage is in my future. I don’t think there’s someone out there for everybody, and I don’t believe there are “plenty of fish in the sea.” A plethora of factors prove my point. I may discuss my thoughts in their entirety another day.
Is Music the Soundtrack of Our Lives?
Prompt: [The] holidays are over, and everyone’s tired, but I’m still going! Do you think that music is [essential] in life? Why or why not? List your top five favorite songs to sing (even if you’re a terrible singer, everyone sings in their car, right? I think? If you truly NEVER sing — I don’t believe you — but list your top five favorite songs of all time). List the top five singers you love to listen to. List the top five singers/songs you HATE.
Being Grateful Is an Art - A Poem
Prompt: Rewrite the poem, A Visit From St. Nicholas, by Clement Clarke Moore, but make it about your house. It MUST start with “Twas the night before Christmas” and rhyme. The rest is up to you. It can be funny, crazy, scary, dramatic, fictional, honest, loving, happy — whatever you want. This is the only time I will ever ask you to write a poem. Which sucks because now I have to do it too, but it was too tempting.
I’m Thankful for Having Both Parents
Prompt: Today is my dad’s birthday! So, let’s explore two different bonds/relationships. Mothers and sons. And fathers and daughters. Typically — these bonds are [more robust], at least in childhood — if not throughout life — than mothers and daughters/fathers and sons. Do you agree? Why or why not? Do you believe it is expected to have Mama’s boys and Daddy’s little girls? Which of your parents are you closer to and why?
My Silence Spoke Louder Than My Words
Prompt: Spend an entire day in silence. If you need to speak to someone — carry a dry-erase board and use it. Or pen and paper, it doesn’t matter. But do not speak. At all. Then, write about the experience. Did you succeed? What caused you to succeed or fail? Did you find yourself thinking more or less? Was it difficult for you? Explain your thoughts on the experiment and why you think I had you do it.
Who Doesn’t Love Word Play
Prompt: Some things in this world have incredibly STUPID names. While in FBI training, I had disdain (still do) for the DEA. Not the agency itself but its name. Drug Enforcement Agency. Doesn’t that make them sound like federally sanctioned drug dealers? If law enforcement enforces the law, then drug enforcement enforces… drugs. Stupid. There is also a couch company called LoveSack. I don’t think I could ever tell someone they’re sitting on my LoveSack with a straight face.
Double the Love: The Power of Two-Parent Households
Prompt: Hanukkah begins tonight at sundown. As a child who grew up with two religions, I thought all households were [..]like mine. I didn’t understand why Santa didn’t like my cousins on my dad’s side and why my mom’s side didn’t celebrate Hanukkah. As kids, we think the whole world looks like our own limited vision of it. What childhood misconceptions did you have, and when did they end? How did they end?
Humans Suck. I Want a Dog
#3 I need a fur bestie. Writing Prompt: Which one of is your favorite and why? [I'm] kidding - though if you want to write about that, you ... can. What is your favorite pet you've ever had? If you've never had a pet - what is your favorite animal [worldwide]? If you have a pet, you can answer both if you'd like. Please outline what makes them (the specific pet or the animal you choose... or both) special.
Taking a Break from LinkedIn
I have always been iffy when it came to LinkedIn. I can't put my finger on it, but I've always felt like the outsider trying to "fit in" with the popular crowd. That professional space has yet to feel safe for me. I have created accounts to delete them so many times I can't count. Earlier this year, I invested in a resume reboot and career coaching. After mentioning why LinkedIn was not my jam, they convinced me that it is a place where recruiters find you instead of you applying for jobs.
Silence the Noise
Chatter Constant chatter At different volumes You have the silent chatter of " just give up." You have the whispered chatter of "You're not good enough." You have the libraian chatter of "nobody will notice." The restaurant chatter of "constant bad news." The TV commercial chatter that says, "What you have isn't good enough." The social media chatter of "aesthetic." The family chatter of "it'll be ok." The pressure cooker chatter of "ending it all." The noise clouds your judgment The noise...
Men Have a Fetish for Underage Girls
Disclaimer: This opinion piece is based on what I've analyzed and seen these past few years. "Excuse me." I wanted to step away from the writing challenges and talk about something I've had a strong opinion about most of my adult life, but mainly these past few weeks. I was sixteen years old and wore a pink top and a skirt that hit mid-thigh. My chest area experienced a growth spurt, so my shirts were snug.
Did You Check in with You Today?
Taking small steps towards a bigger picture Take a deep breath. Ask yourself. Am I this? If so, drink? Am I tired? Rest Am I hungry? Eat a snack or a meal. Am I lonely? Ask yourself why? Call someone. Am I happy with this life? This question will give you insight into what you need to work on. Am I the same person I was a year ago? Reflection makes you realize how far you've come. Am I hard on myself? Recognize to give yourself grace. Am I perfect? You'll realize that. No one is. Am I yearning for sunlight?
Navigating Life's Journey with My Sister by My Side
#4 My friend since her birth Prompt: "List five things your significant other does that make your life better. Then list five things your significant other does that annoy you, but you overlook them. ThenThings She Loves You help me look for stuff when I lose it. We take walks and go to Starbucks. We talk about a wide variety of topics, including topics and feelings. You make me laugh all the time. , let them make the same lists about you and include both.
Your Triggers Are Not My Problem
Prompt: Do you feel they are necessary or that we live in an overly sensitive and overly protected society where people may not be censored but have to warn others that what they're about to say might upset them? How about in schools? Learning about certain things in history SHOULD trigger emotions - but should it not still be learned? Are we setting a dangerous precedent by worrying about tripping over people's feelings constantly? Explain. #2 I have my own problems.
That's Not Smoke That's Long Term COVID
Can we discuss the long-term COVID side effects people discuss on social media? These systems impact our everyday lives, and I don't see any urgency regarding our medical professionals. If you didn't know, on September 1, 2023, I tested positive for COVID-19. In my "Where Have You Been?" article, I mentioned that those eight days were hell, and I never want to experience that again.
A Breakup Story for the Books
Photo by ABDALLA M on Unsplash This photo reflects how I feel right now. On the outside, I feel like I have it all together, but on the inside, I feel like ten toddlers screaming all at once. Now what? For the past four days, my emotions have been in a whirlpool. One minute, I'm up, and the next, I'm in a dark corner in the fetal position. It took seven years of blood, sweat, and a bucket full of tears.
Are You Being Micromanaged, or You Don't Want to Be Managed?
What kind of employee are you? Before you blurt out anything, I challenge you to sit on this question for a few minutes. Carefully think about what kind of employee you are and then ask yourself if it's true. The politically correct answers are not acceptable for this piece. People don't call me a realist for nothing. Being a great employee is about something other than the hard work you put in while on the clock.
Do You Want a Hard Worker or a Clown?
In another episode of "Teisha Finds a Job,"I want to discuss interviews and how they've changed since the pandemic. Have I gotten a job yet? No. It's been two weeks since I got the call from my recruiter saying my contract ended. I'm still waiting on my unemployment, which is a pain in my side thanks to those who fraudulently received an unemployment check on lockdown.
Back to the Drawing Board
The world in which we now live. My time has officially run out. In May 2023, I announced that I found a temporary job, which I didn't want but needed to stay afloat in this economy. As of September 22nd, I am now back in the unemployment line; what was supposed to be a seven-month temp opportunity has been cut short to five. No matter how prepared you think you are, nobody can explain being blindsided by a company.
Life in Motion
A Glimpse into My Recent Adventures I wanted to call this one Where Have You Been Part Two, but I figured nobody would care enough. In part one, I discussed my mental health struggles these past few months and what I've been trying to do to combat the beast. I had every intention to write more often, but life happens. I wanted to be strategic and create a mini-series, but due to my lack of commitment and my mental health, I wouldn't finish. Can I be honest?
Lessons I Learned from Watching Divorce Court
With Judge Lynn Toller "I don't want to be married just to be married. I can't think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can't talk to, or worse, someone I can't be silent with."- Mary Ann Shaffer. I've discovered the TikTok Divorce Court rabbit hole. Users have created pages dedicated to reposting episodes of Divorce Court with Judge Lynn Toller. I've been watching Divorce Court since it premiered in 1999 with Judge Mablean.
Reading Your Stories Add to My Depression
By Teisha LeShea "There is no such thing as writer's block. There is only not enough information. If you can't write, learn something."- Nikki Giovanni Photo by Neuvalence on Unsplash I've had to step away from Medium for several reasons; the main reason is I've been deeply depressed, and I didn't have the motivation to write. Writing is supposed to provide some escapism from reality and allow us to use our imagination and be creative.
The Scent That Lingers
My senses are at their highest peek Moving to gear two during my REM I open my eyes looking for you The scent disappears once I notice you
39 Jobs and 1 Interview Later
By Teisha LeShea Still Jobless for now April is usually a time I celebrate my victories. One victory I have is new employment. As we all know, April is the month of transition. From the weather to our thoughts, April is usually when we experience chaos. In the past, I've always aced my interviews, gotten job offers, and started new jobs. I was optimistic that this time around wouldn't be any different. We all have our seasons...
How's the Job Search Going?
By Teisha LeShea It sucks. Imagine being in the kitchen getting snacks, and the movie starts with a bowl of popcorn in one hand, raisinets in the other with red vines hanging out of your mouth; you prance towards the couch, and out of nowhere, your pinky toe meets the end of the coffee table. Without dropping your snacks, you gracefully put them on the table and snatch the vines out of your mouth to screech at the top of your lungs.
Adulting Is Expensive
By Teisha LeShea Bad habits of being an adult I'll say the quiet thing out loud. Adulting sucks, and I don't recommend it. The "freedom" to do what you want is an illusion with a price if you're not careful. What do I mean? Try not to pay your rent because you feel "free." That small act can cause homelessness. Have the "freedom" to sleep around; it will cost you childcare or an itch you...
My 2023 Job Search Woes
By Teisha LeShea "I hate that money is so directly tied to your mental and emotional well-being. Having or not having money should have no impact on your mental health and self perception and yet, it definitely does. Capitalism been doin its thing a lil too well." Cindy Noir via Twitter During my years of vocational school, every professor has regurgitated the same saying, "You will always have a...
A United States Adventure
By Teisha LeShea An Intergalactic Scheme to Quench Earth's Thirst Author's Note: I never thought I would be a part of a short story collaboration. I used to organize and encourage others to write a short story during my years as a Facebook group admin. I was inspired to write one with Shane Berry. At first, I said I wasn't good, and he responded, "I think you ...
The Choice Is Yours
By Teisha LeShea "You can get with this, or you can get with that."- Black Sheep When I read that C Cap1 mentioned me, my first response was, "What did I do?" I don't even have a history of doing anything to her, but the anxiety still lingers because I'm full of anxiety, and my day wouldn't be right if it didn't show up a zillion times a day.
My Tweets Landed in An Article
By Teisha LeShea "I encourage you to speak out on things happening outside your utopian world." I've been a member of Twitter for two years. I have few followers, but I'm meticulous regarding what I tweet and how often I tweet. I don't watch the news or keep up with the latest celebrity gossip, so I go on Twitter to see what everyone is talking about. After finding a topic I...
Start Leaving Doctor Reviews
By Teisha LeShea Your local community will love you for it. When you have a terrible experience at a place of business, the first few steps you may take to let your community know are social media, yelp, and Google Reviews. I love Google Reviews because it's convenient, and I don't have to log in to different sites to explain my disgust constantly. As someone who has worked in the healthcare field for...
Solo On Valentine's Day?
Support these black-owned businesses during black history month! Let's face it Valentine's Day is a holiday catered to women. If Christmas wasn't enough, it's the ultimate litmus test for spouses and gift-giving. The size of the gift somehow equivalent to how much women are loved. I think it's time to change that narrative. It's also a day for single women to wish they had someone special in their lives.
The Pandemic Taught Us Nothing
There I said it. It’s about time someone said this. A lot of us are liars who will deny that we’re lying. People constantly ride the express train without any stops and then complain about how tired they’ve become. People don’t know how to sit in solitude and take a deep breath; if you are getting anxious sitting in your sh*t, aka problems, you shouldn’t be busy; you should be healing. The once writing community we once had is now the “I see ya when I see ya” culture, driving me up a wall.
The City Of Gambling And Identity Theft
By Teisha LeShea How I became a victim after four days I just got back from my Vegas trip not long ago; looking back, I got the R&R I needed to give me that extra push to finish the year strong. Since early February, I've been planning this trip, and I was slowly counting down the days I see Usher in concert and live it up like it was my senior prom. I will share my experience at the Usher...
Stop Using My Photos
By Teisha LeShea Over one million images and you decided to choose mine? I have a bone to pick with writers on Medium; as you will read, 90% is a rant, and 10% will be solution based. I hate math, so don't beat me up too much. This isn't a severe piece; this is a coincidence piece. I respect all Medium writers, and as creatives, we should be allowed the same creative freedom as the next person.
Is The Bucket Worth Filling?
By Teisha LeShea The bucket list that will never happen I've asked myself what the hell I was thinking about wanting to participate in these activities. There is a trend on Medium that I tried to hop on immediately. I want to thank Paula Shablo for taking a risk and providing me with her list of bucket list ideas that she regrets. Before I start on my list wanted to also thank Ginger Cook for inspiring...
What's an Adult Problem Nobody Prepared You For?
"You don't know what you don't know." I found this question in a Facebook group, and reading some of the answers was interesting. Since my birthday, I've sat in frustration about the things I still don't know. At the tender age of 36, I'm still learning and growing to be the best version of myself.
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