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Articles by Tim Ebl
Why Try To Rip Off Your Own Leg?
Why Try To Rip Off Your Own Leg? To be present, we must surrender to what is and let go. In relation to the physical practice of yoga, this means releasing the expectations we hold about our bodies and, for a moment, letting go of expectations that exist in the mind. At the depths of our being, we know our true potential. We bring our concept of life to the mat. We practice the same way we live. Some of my students felt they would be more valuable the more flexible they were.
8-Full: What is it?
Tim's Grateful Eight Welcome to the Grateful Eight. This is a weekly list of things and experiences for which I am grateful. They might be simple, beautiful things like a sunrise or a smile from a stranger. Or they might be curated resources that have been helpful to me, like a really good book or podcast. Why am I doing this? The world needs a bump up the vibrational ladder. There are plenty of people who are angry and anxious. Or, worried about all the anxious angry people.
Where is the Eating Disorder Support For Men? Missing
I ate three fast food meals, in three different parking lots, in one hour. First I had three big Arby's roast beef n' cheddar sandwiches. Still empty inside. I drove straight to Wendy's. A bored teenager handed me a double burger with bacon and cheddar, and a regular fries. I found an empty spot in the parking lot and dove in. As I jammed greasy burger down my throat, a seagull landed nearby. I remembered seeing a seagull tipping his head back and swallowing a whole hotdog once.
Guys Get Eating Disorders Too
If you've had an eating disorder, you understood how it ruins everything. But like most men, I never really thought of it as a problem guys dealt with. Our social programming is so strong that everyone, men and women, think only of how diet culture and eating disorders affect those identifying as female. Of course all human being are susceptible. That guy you know that can crush some nachos, an entire pizza, and some ice cream, all in one sitting? That was me. Nobody questions what's going on here.
Want to Die Quicker? Eat Vegetable Oil
What do you think is worse for your health? Smoking or Vegetable oil? Some health professionals think it's those unstable free-radical-producing seed oils that make up 20% or more of a daily American diet. In one interview, Dr. Cate Shanahan claimed that vegetable oil was more dangerous than a tobacco habit. If this is true, this means a plate of fries is as bad for you as a few cigarettes. But it's worse than that. Vegetable oil has been put in nearly everything you eat.
This is Why I Will Never Cook Bacon Buck Naked Again
Cautionary Tales It's not why you think Mama always said, "Never cook bacon naked." Okay, she never said that. But she should have. She told me to always wear shoes while in the kitchen. "What if you spill boiling water or grease out of the frying pan on your feet? Trust me, you don't want your foot half cooked. How will you wear shoes with big grease-burn blisters on your feet? You won't! And it's going to hurt so bad you won't be able to sleep.
Russ and the Magic Bus
Cautionary Tales I’ll never forget the day Russ tried to kill a busload of screaming, airborne oilfield workers. The job was out in the sticks just like usual. When I first heard about where we were headed, I would have backed out of the job. Everyone knew the living conditions at Camp Cruella. That was the nickname that everyone called this shithole at the end of the earth. But we had a baby on the way and I needed cash. I said goodbye to my honey and made the long trek out to the location.
How a Pipefitter Named Pig-Boy Put the Boss in His Place
By Tim Ebl HUMOR Persnicketey, pestiferous Al gets a good puggling Photo / Khosro / Shutterstock Pigboy was a big guy. Messy, too. When we first met him, his name was Donny. But that's just because his parents didn't know him well enough when he was born yet to give him his true name.
All Canadians Love Hockey, and Other Lies
By Tim Ebl HUMOR You're mistaken about us Canadians Photo courtesy of CIRA A flat-out falsehood. I could take hockey or leave it, but I prefer to leave it. And there are many other Canadians who agree. I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in ...
Welcome to Cautionary Tales
All proceeds are going to a men's mental health charity A few months back, my friend Ryan and I decided to write a book of blue-collar work stories. Why? To raise money for a men's mental health charity.
6 Ways Wearing Shoes Inside Your House is Like French Kissing the Sidewalk
HEALTH #3 Dog poop Photo / PAstudio / Shutterstock People do some ugly, dirty things. Things like wearing their shoes and boots past their front door, right into their kitchen, living room, and (gasp!) bedroom. Some even lie on beds with their grime-encrusted peds. In my part of the world, this just isn’t done. Footwear comes off at the door. Most people have a dedicated porch, mats, boot trays, or shelving for the road gear. Remove the shoes, or else.
10 Tight Reasons to Buy Our Shamelessly Plugged Book, Cautionary Tales
BOOKS 10 Tight Reasons to Buy Our Shamelessly Plugged Book, Cautionary Tales 1. Blocks nuclear radiation better than almost any other book with less pages Photo by friend of author 2. Cautionary Tales Can Double as Emergency Poo Paper
Putin Just Poured Ketchup in YOUR Coffee
Real-World Problems Putin Just Poured Ketchup in YOUR Coffee What are we going to do about it? Image by author via Canva You sit at a beautiful sidewalk cafe, sipping a cup of joe. It’s not a perfect brew, but it’s pretty good. As you look out on a sunny morning in this peaceful village, you are enjoying the shit out of it.
Your Thirsty Subscription Asks Are Why I Stopped Reading (and Writing) Stories
Stop asking so much for handouts — It’s desperate and unattractive Photo / anyaivanova / Shutterstock These desperate pleas for a subscription suck the life out of me every time I read one. Here are a few I collected in the last two minutes, from 15 random clicks. I modified them to make them more interesting. They started out bland and puke-worthy. If you enjoy reading stories like these and want to support me as a writer, consider subscribing for $5 a month.
YOU Burn Fossil Fuels Daily, and There’s No Easy Way to Quit
CLIMATE Don’t deny it; you’re a part of the problem Photo / Artem Oleshko / Shutterstock Do you live in North America? Then you use fossil fuels. You don’t need to own a car or even a home. Your very existence uses oil. And there’s nothing we can do short of death to stop quickly. It’s in everything. The only thing that is carbon neutral is not ever existing. We are all a slave to this system, including the government. Shouting “Blah blah blah!” is no solution.
Get Your Hands Off My Jungle Box
HUMOR Get Your Hands Off My Jungle Box Two truckers started a prank war — who will win? Photo / ShotPrime Studio /Shutterstock For my first job out of school, I was a laborer for a trucking company that moved loads of heavy equipment, supplies, and rig mats all over in the bush. I was swamping for a trucker named Wayne. If you don’t know what a swamper is, I was the slave, and he was the…
The Night We Met Marty the Party
HUMOR Marty’s magical party powers took John from uptight to party god Photo / G-Stock Studio / Shutterstock Author’s note: this was translated from a thick Canadian Newfoundland accent. I was on a small work crew that lived on the road, doin’ small construction jobs in the oilpatch. There were only five of us, including the new guy, John. John was from England. He was an uptight worrier who was a pain in our arses. He was as slow as cold molasses, critical, and arse foremost.
It’s a Bad Idea to Keep Little Secrets Like Smoking From the Wife
HUMOR Unless you like getting caught and feeling like a putz Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels It’s hard keeping little secrets from the wife, and not so bright. But I never said I was smart, just a good looker. I’m not talking about how I accidentally put her white clothes in the washer with a red shirt and made everything pink. That was no secret. And I’ve never had an affair or buried a body in the forest, nothing like that. I mean bad habits, like sneaking a cigarette here or there.
How to Prepare For a Food Shortage While the Shelves Are Still Full
Take steps now, not during a desperate emergency stampede Photo / Yganko / Shutterstock Thanks to the supermarket gods, we can buy toilet paper again. The grocery store is full. No need to worry anymore about shortages, right? Not so fast. As we see the global supply chain crisis drag on, there’s one part of our lives that we can’t afford to have disrupted: Food. What will you do if the store runs out of EVERYTHING?
7 Ways to Quit Watching the World Burn and Fight the Fire Instead
We need firefighters, not arsonists. Image / Tithi Luadthong / Shutterstock There’s a lot going wrong right now. You could say the world is on fire. It’s time for us to stand up and become part of the solution, not the problem. But everyone is ignoring one of the biggest challenges we have. It’s the attack on common decency, politeness, and civil behavior. This is a crucial issue, much more important than most realize.
Covid-19 Wakeup Call
Did you make lifestyle and career changes? Photo / silviarita / Pixabay Did you make lifestyle changes because of Covid-19? I did — and I didn’t. I side-hustled every day during lockdown. Until the coffer started running dry. Then I got a job that requires physical presence. I choose to meet my family responsibilities.
How to Make Real Sourdough
Nothing beats my grandma’s recipe Grandma’s kitchen: A cozy table covered in cloth, the dog sleeping underneath Wood cookstove throwing heat, a pot of baked beans simmering on top Homemade sourdough rye bread, farmer’s cheese, and soft butter Coffee and happy conversations Grandma has been gone for years, but I still remember sitting at her table and enjoying her sourdough bread. Followed by gingersnaps. You can’t get real sourdough bread in a big-box supermarket.
5 Simple Tips to Get Good Customer Service Every Time
It’s up to the customer too Photo / IsabellaO / Shutterstock My writing prompt today asked me to recount ONLY ONE good customer service. I couldn’t do it — 99% positive for me. How do I get treated so well? I’m proactive. It’s small, important things. Set the tone early. Don’t be a smile-less jerk. Show respect — let them see you as a person. Patience is rewarded. Respect other customers, not just the person serving you.
6 Tropes That Turned Terminator 2 Into a Template For Thousands of “B” Movies
This fan-favorite spawned so many epic low-budget robot slasher flicks Image by / Gerhard Janson / Pixabay Terminator 2 is one of my favorite movies. So many unforgettable moments that spawned an entire sub-genre of crazy “B” movies — the robo-slasher.
Everyone Loves Levitating and This is Why
It’s got actual lyrics Image by Comfreak / Pixabay A lot of pop music can be un-lyrical. It just doesn't flow. But Levitating hits all the high points. It almost rhymes. It has a good beat. It has a great voice singing it. I could put this song on repeat, put on the headphones, and dance till tomorrow.
Allstones Lake Trail - Hike Above Lake Abraham
Beautiful scenery and challenging terrain Near Nordegg, Alberta, Canada it’s one of my favorite spots. Not for novices! It nearly finished off a couple of the hikers I went with. But also not the hardest. This part of the trail is goat-style. Hang onto your phone! You drop it here and it’s gone. Length -10 km elevation gain- 843 m Route- out, back rating — difficult Great views of Abraham Lake and the valley beneath you. Why is it rated difficult? Plenty of incline. Coming back down is hard on the legs.
Take Care of Your Soul - That’s More Important Than Anything
Your insides matter more than your outsides I learned the hard way. Ignore what’s going on inside and your world will implode. Trauma from childhood Self-doubt and blame Anxiety or guilt Unexamined emotional pain It will seep out of your subconscious and spoil your happiness. We wall the pain off. But it doesn’t really go away. It bonds itself right into our muscles, our bones, our soul. Awareness and examination is the answer. Don’t go it alone! Get help. A trusted friend, relative, or counselor.
How I Lost My Brother Over Stupid Gossip
It’s my biggest regret. Photo / durantelallera / Shutterstock One of my biggest regrets is not finding a way to be friends with my brother after local gossips wrecked us. I should have kept my temper and seen his side of things. I should have used Compassion Patience Empathy Instead, I rushed in and busted everything. I regret that fight daily. Yeah, he was wrong. Yeah, I was a victim of gossip. But nothing matters except that we aren’t close anymore.
How Many Coaches Could a Life Coach, Coach If a Life Coach Could Chuck Wood?
The main income for some life coaches is: Wannabe coaches Photo / Iren_Geo / Shutterstock Are you thinking about becoming a life coach? The industry seems to be growing in leaps and bounds. But it seems like not everyone who is teaching the courses could possibly be legitimate. There are writers that just write about writing. Investors that just tell other people how to invest. Programmers that just teach people to program. And this isn’t a bad thing.
21 Little Relationship Helpers For When Your Love Life Needs a Bump
Show them how special they are to you. Photo / jennifer_crowder_artist / Shutterstock Don't wait for your relationship with your particular person to fall off a cliff. Be proactive. Relationships take more than lying back and watching Netflix together. The most important things take nothing but your time. Almost all of these are low-cost items. There's no need to spend a godzillion dollars to show your love. I've been with my best friend for 30 years, and we've had our ups and downs.
7 Crazy Reasons to Write AND Publish Every Single Day
Number 3: Your dog will love you again Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash Have you considered writing and publishing your work daily? There are a few reasons that it might be a great way to move ahead. Not the least of which is to earn your dog’s love. If you only write when you feel like it or when you have time, you can’t get in the groove as quickly. But if you hit that keyboard every day, your subconscious mind will be ready and willing to give you the goods.
The Truth About Covid-19 Breakthrough Infections- Are The Vaccinated Infecting the World?
A look at CDC data shows who still got sick after vaccination, and it's not as bad as we think it is. Rumors and fear-mongering would have you believe that getting vaccinated doesn't protect you at all. It creates fear, uncertainty, and distrust when all of these "facts" come out of everyone's mouths. Overheard conversation at work: First Guy: "What's the point in getting vaccinated?
4 Things About Fnords That They Don’t Want You To Know
Do you think my Fnord looks fat in this? Photo / pathdoc / Shuttterstock Every day I get questions about the Fnords. It’s quite traught. “What’s a Fnord, Tim?” “How come I can’t see the Fnords?” “Give me an example of the best Fnord you’ve seen this month.” “Can I make money copywriting Fnords for the talkingdom?” Studies show that Fnords cause climate change. But still, no one does anything. Why? Because no one knows they even exist. I don’t have the answers to all of these questions.
The Death of My Son - The Birth of My Daughter
The bittersweet experience of a parent whose child rises from the ashes like a phoenix. Photo / Jacob_09 / Shutterstock All my memories are full of landmines, and I’m having a hard time navigating this mental field without getting blown up. Recently, we were talking about the misadventures our children had before they grew up and moved far away. I stepped on another one, heard it “click.” It was too late. The words were already out of my mouth.
Does “The Secret” and Prosperity Thinking Make You a Climate Change Denier?
The balance between seeking happiness and selfishness. Photo / yelantsevv / Shutterstock Prosperity is causing climate change. That is the sad truth. The more growth we have, the more things we own, the more vacations we take, the more the earth heats up. So, sure, we can all have everything — until we can’t. I bet you’ve heard of The Secret. It promises us that the world is our oyster as long as we put out vibrations of prosperity.
Why Are the Hornets and Wasps So Bad This Year?
Climate change might be the reason we have more nasty fliers. Have you noticed large amounts of wasps where you live? You’re not alone. Many places are reporting vast numbers of these hated insects. It feels like they are ruining the outdoors for everyone else. So many people are getting stung by wasps and hornets this year that some of us are afraid to go outside. I know three people that were stung severely enough to need to get medical help.
7 Obvious Signs That You’re a Harmful Jackwagon
Be harmless, not a jerk who takes away birthdays. Photo / Kichigin / Shutterstock Do you know someone who likes causing pain? One of those jackwagons who likes to tell the “truth” no matter how much it hurts? Some people pride themselves on creating hard feelings, or worse. They don’t mind ruining someone’s day when they upset the applecart. They push through crowds and jump lines to get in front. They yell and insult food servers.
Let Go Or Be Dragged — and Other Zen Truths
A small collection of “enlightenment” to make you think sideways. Photo / Alexander_Evgenyevich / Shutterstock What is zen? To answer that question with words is impossible. And still, we try. “Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves — slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future.”- Thich Nhat Hanh The smallest things in life deserve our undivided attention. Not just tea. Washing the dishes. The morning shower. Holding your special person’s hand.
Bitcoin Miners Trapped in Cave-in
Humor Rescue teams dig around the clock to save them; Families are holding onto hope for their loved ones. The world watched in shock yesterday as rescue crews dug through piles of collapsed servers and orphan blocks, desperately trying to reach the miners before there was a hard fork and their air ran out. “We are doing the best we can, but it’s too dangerous to move fast through this mountain of crashed servers,” Marty Graw told us.
Learn How to Defend Yourself With a Pencil, John Wick Style
Tactical pens are cool, but anything will do in a pinch. Photo / Lisa / Pexels Most people are defenseless when it comes down to a physical confrontation on the street, in the parking lot, or at the front door while they’re trying to get their keys out. It isn’t because they don’t own a gun or don’t have a taser. It’s because they’re not mentally prepared. If you found yourself in a close-quarters fight, would you know what to do?
The Curious Case of The Coyote and The Rock Hard Camp Cookies
When I took the job, I had one question: How’s the work camp? It’s great, they said. The food is amazing! They lied. It was a pipeline gig, 3 hours North of Nowhere, down a bunch of logging roads, way back in the bush. The snow was deep, and the guy driving the truck was super sketchy. I was regretting saying yes the whole way in. The camp was a tragedy. All the kitchen staff got fired the week before I got there. The campies had been running a big drug and booze operation.
69 Reasons Why Everyone Can’t Work From Home, Period
Most of us need to let go of the fantasy and get out there, or we starve, and the world falls apart. Photo / Just dance / Shutterstock Every day, there’s another story about how Americans are saying no to the office. It sounds like a dream come true. But is it realistic at this stage of the game for millions to abandon their jobs? No, it’s not- because a huge percentage of the population doesn’t work at a desk to start with and never will.
Dude, Where’s My Car?
These Can’t Be True Stories… Part 1 A drug-fueled sex vacation that he’ll never forget. Photo / The Lazy Artist Gallery / Pexels Have you heard a crazy story, so insane that you think it can’t be true, but you know it probably is? This is the first in a series of These Can’t Be True Stories, based on the ramblings of people I know, have worked with, or overheard talking at the cubicle farm. Disclaimer: The author is not in support of illegal or harmful behavior.
7 ways Mindful Meditation Can Upgrade Your Life
Explore your potential and level up Meditate! You hear it all the time, read about it, have friends pushing it on you. But what is it really good for? Is it worth all the effort? It’s hard to see what concrete results sitting in meditation or doing some mindfulness exercise while walking in the park could give you. But even a few minutes a day with an app like Headspace promises payoffs in increased concentration, reduced stress, and other benefits.
If It Smells Like Poop Everywhere You Go, Look Under Your Own Shoe
Your attitude colors your world Photo / san4ezz / Shutterstock All we hear about these days is the haters. They hate masks, hate government, hate immigrants, and hate anyone who isn’t identical to them. All of that anger and fear makes them buy into all the whacko conspiracies they find on Farcebook. Haters pack the sour smell of dog poop everywhere they go. Take a look in the mirror. Does your attitude ruin your chances of ever being happy?
The REAL Reason You’re Not Getting Views And Making Big Bucks
Algorithm secrets that could get you killed Photo by Noah Black on Unsplash I have alternative explanations for why you aren’t getting those views. And they have nothing to do with posting religiously every day, increasing your writing skills, how many followers you have, or whether you sacrifice live pizza to the medium-sized gods. After I publish this, I might go missing. No one’s gonna like me spilling the beans publicly. It’s a risk I have to take.
You Can Learn This Jedi Mind Trick To Slow Down Time
Don’t let your life speed by like a monkey on a jetski Photo / alphaspirit.it / Shutterstock Do you feel like there’s never enough time? Is your life flying by so fast that the days are blending for you into one big blur? Maybe you spend your life working from home, and each day is so similar to the last that it becomes one big smear of sameness. You might be losing track of your reason to exist. You can feel time speeding by like a monkey on a jetski. You are missing out on life, and you know it.
You Should Pick Your 5 Best Friends, and It’s Not Too Late To Do It Now
Who you hang out with determines your success levels in life. Photo / VGstockstudio / Shutterstock Did you end up with friends by sheer happenstance and proximity, or did you select the people in your life that deserved to be there? It’s worth wondering how many of them are actually good for you. If you’re like most of us, you encountered some random people and then just folded them into your life. Then eventually, they made it into your inner circle.
How To Make Your Writing Into a Gift the World Can’t Refuse
You need to provide value, or you might as well quit. Illustration by Author via Canva If you’re a creative person who wants to be seen by the world, you have to create something people want. You want fans to flock to your door, and for that, you need to give value. No one wants to read the work of a selfish know-it-all who only wants to take. It’s all about the reader. We can all learn from authors like , even if we aren’t novelists. His work over the last decade earned him an estimated $700 million.
Why You Should Write Exclusively About Wombats if You Want to Win at Writing
This ultra-niche way to get readers hooked is your golden ticket to retiring at age 28, even if you’re already 52 Illustration by Author via Canva Write what the readers want. Otherwise, they won’t read it, and you’ll be sad because your article gets no reads. I wanted to write about how to succeed in life, and how to stay in shape, and what to eat. I used to write about meditation. But you don’t want to read that. Everyone else is churning out that self-help garbage. You’re bored with it.
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