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Articles by Tim Fenton
So Welcome Back Andy Burnham
In the end it was not even close: Thursday’s by-election in the constituency of Makerfield resulted in a resounding win for Labour, which, following the humiliation of Gorton and Denton, had allowed Greater Manchester Mayor Andy Burnham to stand as their candidate. The much-vaunted Reform UK challenger, Rob Kenyon, came second, but well over 9,000 votes adrift.
New New Labour - No Scooby, No Future
Endless calls for activists to turn out, endless calls for members to donate, endless calls to give support one more time to a party that had already alienated so much of its core constituency. The result was as predictable as it was inevitable: New New Labour took, as the Norwegian commentator put it, one hell of a beating in the latest round of local elections. The new party leader sold himself to the membership with a manifesto on which he then reneged. He lied his way to the Top Job.
Israel Loses Labour Yet More Support
The Labour leadership, and their cheerleaders in our free and fearless press, remain in denial when their disastrous showing in the Gorton and Denton by-election gets aired. This has extended to supposedly senior Labour figures going on the record to back the claims of Reform UK Oberscheissenf├╝hrer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage that it was the Scary Muslims™ voting en masse.
Labour’s Gorton And Denton Shame
And so it came to pass that one of those inconvenient Parliamentary by-elections came along, but this should not have proved an insurmountable task for Labour: the constituency, Gorton and Denton, had been held back in 2024 with a vote share of over 50%. Moreover, Labour had the services of Greater Manchester Mayor Andy Burnham on offer as a candidate.
So Farewell Then Morgan McSweeney
In the end, not even the architect of supposedly making Labour electable again - by the masterstroke of scoring 560,000 fewer votes in 2024 than when the party, so the media establishment narrative goes, was totally unelectable back in 2019 - could save his own skin, not after the revelations concerning Peter Mandelson and Jeffrey Epstein.
So Farewell Then New New Labour
How would the Labour leadership seek to rebuild bridges with all those activists who took so much abuse on the doorstep during the 2019 General Election campaign, only to find that the cabal now leading the party had been working to throw the contest? How would they heal the wound of Keir Starmer deliberately lying to get himself elected to the Top Job? Mandelson, so utterly devalued by his past, was involved with vetting prospective parliamentary candidates for the 2024 General Election.
Trump Is Gaga - Say So, BBC
There has been a marked reluctance at some media outlets to call out the deteriorating mental state of Combover Crybaby Donald Trump. He rambles incoherently, has difficulty walking in a straight line, seems disoriented, forgets names and places, mixes up names and places, and lies as often as he draws breath. So it was when he rocked up in Davos this week. part of his shambling delivery.
Zack Polanski And Anti-Semitism
The Green Party, in no small measure because of its new leader Zack Polanski, is advancing in the opinion polls. One recent survey suggested that Keir Starmer could be vulnerable to losing his seat to a Green opponent. And then, by total coincidence you understand, the nudges and winks began, the first signs of a concerted attempt to pin anti-Semitism on the Greens.
Labour Weasels On Venezuela
Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, the living and still breathing definition of an amateur human being, has ordered the armed services of the United States to, effectively, invade Venezuela, which is a sovereign state. Added to this minor breach of international law, he has had the country’s President, Nicolas Maduro, kidnapped, along with his wife.has been put on media display, in a flagrant breach of the Geneva Conventions. Worse, Trump did not get Congressional approval beforehand.
And So This Is Christmas
The world is now a more dangerous, more unequal, more unjust, more authoritarian, and more uncaring place. Peace is in short supply, except in the fevered minds of more of those Here Today And Gone Tomorrow Politicians. And you can forget goodwill. Where it will end we know not. But end it will, with the grim certainty of night following day.
Labour’s Loves Long Lost
So with the Government polling well behind Reform UK, a limited company under the control of self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, and now also polling behind a revitalised Green Party, someone in the Starmerbunker has clearly decided that action must be taken to attract voters back to The Red Team. So what is on offer this week? Shabana Mahmood ... a moral crusade, or it is nothing”, offer voters? What would a sensible and inclusive party have done?
Maccabi Tel Aviv And No Anti-Semitism
Here’s the BBC scene-setter: “The government has said it is ‘doing everything in our power’ to overturn a ban on Maccabi Tel Aviv fans attending a football match in Birmingham and is exploring what additional resources could be required. On Thursday, Aston Villa said the city's Safety Advisory Group (SAG) decided that fans of the Israeli club should not be permitted to attend the Europa League fixture on 6 November over safety concerns”.
Oh Tommy - Now Threatening MPs
Infamously, Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, now self-appointed Oberscheissenführer of Reform UK, claimed after the 2016 EU referendum that the result had been achieved “without a shot being fired”. As so often with the far-right, he was lying: Labour MP Jo Cox had been murdered by a Britain First supporter. And Ms Cox was not the only MP to be killed carrying out their duties.
Oh Tommy Tommy - Racist Liar
Moreover, the grandchildren were white, and the grandparent was black, which should be no big deal, but in the warped and paranoid, yet righteous, world of Stephen Lennon, such a combination was, for reasons he somehow managed not to disclose, Streng Verboten. So it was that he took to Twitter, X, or whatever Muskrat’s calling it this week, and smeared the grandparent. As the Guardian has reported, “Family in fear after Tommy Robinson shares video of black man with white granddaughters”. Do go on.
Oh Tommy - Bravely Ran Away
Not much time passes before Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, appears in the news, and usually for all the wrong reasons. His latest appearance is no exception: yesterday evening, emergency services attended a man who had been rendered unconscious, in the vicinity of London’s St Pancras station. We know Lennon was involved. He said so.serious but not life-threatening”. As the news spread, so did the spin from Lennon’s pals, which did not help his cause one bit.
Israel Criticism - Labour Beyond Too Late
Having resisted any change of approach to the continued Israeli assaults on Gaza, the bombing, shelling, rocketing, the gratuitous slaughter of those desperately queuing for aid, the deliberate prevention of aid agencies from getting into the occupied territory, Keir Starmer’s Government has now decided to tell the world that it sort of disapproves of what is going on.
Labour Chaos - Don’t Be Distracted
A Government that had, no more than a year ago, been returned to power with 411 MPs, has this week been exposed as a clueless shambles, with its leader clearly not in control of his Parliamentary troops, and despite its main opposition, the Tories, showing that they are, in every political department, yet worse. But our free and fearless press has failed to identify the cause.
Tommy Robinson’s Loadsamoney Lunch
Once again, Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, has been in the news, and for reasons which may cause his latest campaign to develop not necessarily to his advantage. The Great Man, and four of his pals, were asked to leave the Hawksmoor restaurant near Piccadilly Circus in central London, staff and other diners being uneasy at their presence.
Reform UK - Beginning Of The End
A week, as Harold Wilson memorably observed, is a long time in politics, and that this still holds true has been demonstrated by Reform UK and its self-appointed Oberscheissenf├╝hrer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, riding high in the polls and with rather too many of the media class unable, or unwilling, to point out that Farage is a congenital liar, a racist bigot, and a shameless con man. by-election had been triggered by the death of SNP incumbent MSP Christina McKelvie.
Oh Tommy Tommy - Back In Court
And so it came to pass that Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, was released from jail early, not because he had scored some kind of victory over the hated MSM and the alleged Deep State, but because he had agreed to withdraw a variety of untrue and defamatory claims against a Syrian refugee - and not to repeat them. What, then, would attendees as the latest Lennon rally have served up to them?
Reform UK And The Rise Of Ignorance
Opinion polls continue to show a rise in support for Reform UK, headed by its self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, with the result that the clueless coterie which is claimed to be running the Labour Party has become concerned enough to take action. Their problem is that the ship has already sailed, and no matter what they do, they can’t out-Farage Farage. Ignorance is strength! There had, she argued, to be a way to stop the “Pull to England” which brought so many refugees.
Labour Useless And Now Clueless
So the dust has settled after a round of local elections - plus a Parliamentary by-election - last Thursday. The Tories continued their slide towards irrelevance by losing two-thirds of the seats they contested. But, as Robert Peston might have put it, here’s a thing - Labour also lost two-thirds of the seats they contested, too. And they lost that Parliamentary by-election. Morgan McSweeney - la la la, he can't hear you Oberscheissenf├╝hrer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, by a mere six votes.
So Farewell Then Elon Musk
The BBC has quoted George Ell, “who knew Musk and was director for Western Europe at Tesla” in its article on The Great Man “scaling back” his time spent at the misnamed Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE): “I think Elon is not someone who surrounds himself with a great diversity of opinion to challenge his thinking”. No-one stands up to him. was a Nazi salute - an act which poisoned his brands, maybe beyond redemption. In Musk’s mind, his failures are someone else’s fault.
Party Like It’s 1929
They thought he really knew what he was doing, that he was not out of his depth. They thought he would back off at the last minute, that he didn’t really mean it. They thought that wise counsel would prevail, talk him out of it. They thought that Donald Trump was intelligent enough not to proceed with his tariff plan. They were wrong: another 1929 moment now stalks the markets.
Trump Tariffs - The Art Of The Stupid
To great fanfare, and applauded by all the wrong people, Combover Crybaby Donald Trump has announced the imposition of tariffs upon imports from most countries outside the USA, although not, for some reason, Russia or North Korea. There had been much talking up of the move beforehand by those out there on the right. But the markets have not been persuaded.
Donald Trump - A Fart Of A Deal
With the possibility increasing daily that his “diplomacy” on the Russia-Ukraine conflict will prove to be Dead On Arrival, more and more citizens, along with increasing numbers outside the USA, are realising that Combover Crybaby Donald Trump was only a successful businessman for the purposes of The Apprentice and its various spin-offs. Reality is somewhat different.
Reform UK Laid Lowe By Musk
Not since the split in the Peoples’ Front of Judaea has there been a more futile and pointless gesture than the urging, by some among our free and fearless press who should know better, to found a splinter party out there on the right led by those who have grown fed up with Reform UK and the leadership of its self-appointed OberscheissenfĂĽhrer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage.
So Farewell (For Good) Darren Grimes
Never before had fifteen minutes of fame (or infamy) been stretched so far beyond the limits of elasticity. Push was surely destined to give way to shove, and so it came to pass that the not really crafty Darren Grimes was “let go” by Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”), to the great relief of all those who had hoped it might happen rather earlier. this being spun? “Darren Grimes has announced he is departing GB News in an emotional message to viewers.
Zelenskyy Encounters The Stupid Zone
And so it came to pass that, after Emmanuel Macron and Keir Starmer visited the White House and supposedly got Combover Crybaby Donald Trump in a more amenable frame of mind regarding the future of Ukraine, that country’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy arrived in Washington DC to experience for himself the masterly negotiating skills of the orange man-baby. The Apprentice; in real life, he is a serial failure in such matters, and in all likelihood could not negotiate his way out of a paper bag.
Ukraine Extortion - Trump Fans Silent
There is no finer example of how populist politics is a total crock of crap than the reaction of its leading British practitioners to the brazen attempt by Combover Crybaby Donald Trump and his gang to extort a significant amount of Ukraine’s mineral resources, while giving that country no security guarantee. To this, the Trump fans in the UK have fallen silent.
J D Vance - You’re A Moron
Those who thought that the vice Presidency of J Danforth Quayle, the one who had problems spelling such complex words as POTATO (to which he insisted on adding a spurious E), defined the most stupid holder of that office, have now been asked by the current incumbent, J D Vance, to Hold His Beer. Because Vance is not merely stupid. He is a bona fide moron. man” in this instance) least suited to be President since, well, the proclamation of the Republic back in 1783. Trump is monumentally stupid.
It Was The Sun Wot Done It
And so it came to pass that News Group Newspapers, the official title for the UK chapter of the Murdoch Mafiosi, arrived at the High Court for what was expected to be an eight-week trial over allegations of unlawful behaviour brought by Prince Harry and former Labour deputy leader Tom Watson. And very soon after, NGN caved in and waved the white flag. Sun was involved in breaking the law.
Elon Musk IS Dr Strangelove
The titular character in Stanley Kubrick’s dark comedy Dr Strangelove, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb, is a senior advisor to the US President, who just happens to be a former Nazi who refers to his boss as “Mein Führer”, and whose right arm has to be restrained from giving Nazi salutes. Played by Peter Sellers, it was both dark and hilarious.
Isabel Oakeshott Muslim Hypocrisy
Only a week ago, Brexiteer supreme Isabel Oakeshott indulged in a slice of Muslim demonisation which was especially nasty, even by her own not especially high standards, while demonstrating a lack of journalistic nous which might surprise those not up to speed with the machinations of our free and fearless press, given she was once Sunday Times political editor. In Wales, the Welsh Refugee Council is using 12-year-old girls in ads meant to entice migrant men to come to Wales.
Ivor Caplin - Hello BBC
You might not have heard of Ivor Caplin - at least, not until last weekend brought the news that he had been arrested after a vigilante sting. But the reporting of his being stung and subsequently arrested should ring alarm bells - not because some media outlets are reporting it, but because some are not, even those whose preferred political stripe is at odds with his. Ivor Caplin He had spent eight years as a Labour MP, representing Hove.
Banksy And Wiggy Ha Ha Ha
Reform UK’s self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage has at least one principle which he maintains unwaveringly, and that is the concept of strong borders. No-one should complain at nation states deciding for themselves who is let in, and who is not. But now a problem has entered, and it concerns one of his Bestest Pals from the recent past.
Reform UK - A Hundred Thousand Mugs
Reform UK’s self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage last week used his season ticket for BBC Question Time, a show whose currency has been fatally debased under the watchful eye of Robbie Gibb, who should never have been let in the door, and host Fiona Bruce, whose determination to “both sides” anything and everything is tedious in the extreme. for some value of membership”. Why so? Ah well.
Fawkes’ Sick Reeves Obsession
The greatest efforts of the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog churned out post after post of knocking copy aimed at Labour’s deputy leader Angela Rayner. They would get her; she was going to be yet another scalp for The Great Guido. And little good it did them. Ms Rayner is still deputy leader; their smear campaign got them nowhere. In this she has some of those inconvenient things called facts in her favour: she has a Master’s degree in economics from the LSE.
Farage + Fawkes = Violence Hypocrisy
The perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, now overseen by “Lord” Ross Kempsell, were in their element last Friday, talking up the far right for all they were worth, while jeering at those rotten Labour people who were, of course, total poo. This version of the far right was Reform UK, and their Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage. Violence? What violence?
Allison Pearson - Get The Nanoviolin
This week, the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph has been in maximum pearl clutching mode after Essex Police paid a visit to their increasingly batshit pundit Allison Pearson. There has been much howling, and indeed gnashing of teeth, on the subject of FREEZE PEACH. But the Tel has not, for some reason, put the reason for the visit front and centre.
So Farewell Then Paul Staines
Of all those asymmetric worlds out there, none compares with that inhabited by the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog. The Great Guido has claimed in the past that he doesn’t resort to such things as legal threats, but here on Zelo Street we know that this is total crap (see HERE). Then comes Staines’ claim that suing him is a nightmare. The Great Guido as thirsty as ever newsroom”, such as it be, is believed to be in London, why shouldn’t he be sued here?
So Farewell Then US Democracy
We may not like the verdict passed by voters in the USA, but it is their right, their call, and their majority preference that Combover Crybaby Donald Trump be returned to the White House for another term as President. What creative propaganda was fed to the electorate we may never know. What we do know is that Trump is not fit to serve a burger and fries, let alone his country.
Oh Tommy - The Bard Of Belmarsh
And so it came to pass that Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, was taken from Police custody to Woolwich Crown Court to face charges of Contempt of Court. Lennon had been told not to repeat untrue comments about a Syrian teenager, Jamal Hidazi. He ignored the ruling and repeated the untrue comments. A lot. told lies about him” had been told, by a Judge, not to repeat lies he had been telling about a teenager who just happened to be one of those Scary Muslims™.
Oh Tommy - Wheels Coming Off
And so it came to pass that Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, arrived back in the UK from his brief exile in Spain, and was not nicked. He was pleasantly surprised, and continued to promote his rally in London, scheduled for today. But into each life a little rain must fall, and for Lennon it came pouring as he journeyed to Folkestone yesterday.
Farage Migrant Threat = MORE LIES
Maintaining his public profile is proving challenging to occasional MP and Reform UK Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage. So it was that The Great Man decided to resort to what he does best - talking well, but lying badly. This was accomplished by claiming that someone who is not in the UK had in fact arrived in the UK, and made a death threat against him. including a video from the Not White Person, off went Nige. “This illegal migrant has made a threat on my life and is now in the UK.
Morgan McSweeney - The New Polecat
It was not so long ago that now disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was in 10 Downing Street, and his chief advisor was one Dominic Cummings. He was the Original and Genuine Polecat, a fount of megalomania, who knew more about everything and anything than anyone else, because they were all poo holes. de facto chief of staff, and out went the Polecat, to the relief of many in and around Government who wished it had happened rather earlier.
Sue Gray - Same Old Smear Game
Those who eulogised the new régime in Downing Street after the Tories were rightly consigned to the dustbin of defeat last July might have thought that, now that the grown-ups were allegedly in charge, the old ways of in-fighting, smearing, and piss-poor client journalism would also be binned. Nothing, however, could have been further from the truth.
Bozo, The Mail, And Royally Lying
While the Tories spend their conference time demonstrating just how utterly wacko the party has become, to the extent that James Cleverly and Tom Tugendhat come over as the most sane choices to succeed Rishi Sunak as leader, the deeply dishonest individual who set them off in that direction is demonstrating just what privilege and entitlement means. Unleashed, serialised in the Daily Mail, still overseen by the boiling lump of spiteful rage, the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre.
Speccy Goes From Nelly To Oiky
And so the increasingly alt-right Spectator magazine was sold for a cool £100 million to Paul Marshall, the main benefactor of hugely loss-making Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”). Former Murdoch editor Andrew Neil was first out the door, apparently voluntarily. He has now been followed by long-term editor Fraser Nelson, perhaps not voluntarily. Out goes Fraser Nelson ...
Labour - Tone Deaf In The Bubble
The Labour leadership should not need reminding of the promise brought by all those poll leads, only to result in an apathetic electorate giving them half a million fewer votes than in 2019, and a percentage increase in vote share of a measly 1.6%. Thus the reality of the party that had been transformed from a supposed basket case into an all-conquering electoral machine.
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