WJ Cope
Salt Lake City
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Articles by WJ Cope
UCF Kappa Delta Will Make You Hate Your Girlfriend With Their Hot New Recruitment Video
Videos UCF Kappa Delta Will Make You Hate Your Girlfriend With Their Hot New Recruitment Video Dear sororities, let's stick with these fire recruitment videos and avoid the creepy "door stacks" and finger waves. Thanks. [via College Weekly]
Paul Ryan to Colt McCoy: “Great Job at Oklahoma State”
Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan dropped in to a Cleveland Browns football practice today to kiss some hands, shake some babies, talk some football, and shoot some shit with former Oklahoma State badass, and starting Browns quarterback, Brandon Weeden. After working the crowd and sifting through the non-Weeden scrubs on the team, he finally found his man and hit him with a “Great job” line that he had been saving up all day. Only, it wasn’t Weeden. It was backup Colt McCoy.
A Play-By-Play Of Philly’s Super Bowl Rioting As Told By The Citywide Police Scanner
What a night. The Philadelphia Eagles, led by the now immortalized Big Dick Nick, found a way to knock off the Patriots and take home their first ever Lombardi Trophy. You’re a lunatic if you weren’t pulling for the Birds in this game. I mean, there was virtually no reason not to.
I Aborted A Meet Cute At The Last Possible Second
I recently moved across the country and started a new job, and one of my first orders of business was to set up payroll with the new company. This meant that I’d need a voided check from my financial institution, and I decided to start fresh with new accounts at a large Midwestern bank. I headed to my nearest branch after work one day and was seated in the waiting room browsing Reddit on my phone when she walked in. This girl was attractive, but not entirely in the conventional sense.
A Timeline Of Accidentally Getting Super High At Work
A few months ago, a coworker and I were making a routine trip from the office to a nearby hardware store to pick up some supplies for an upcoming job. It had been really busy at the office, and I slouched into the passenger seat as my temples throbbed from stressful day. My coworker looked over at me, grinned, and said “I think I have something that might help you out a little bit.” He passed me the oblong silver object, and I immediately knew that it was a dab pen.
Ranking Every Episode Of ‘Black Mirror’ Based On Anxiety Caused
Black Mirror can be a tough show to watch. The show has told some incredible stories since its first season back in 2011, and it’s the only show where I’ll go several weeks in between each episode despite thoroughly enjoying it. It’s just a lot to take in. I was thinking of doing a worst-to-best ranking of each episode before the fourth season drops on December 29, but I ran into some problems.
The Only Way To Save The NFL Is A Papa John’s Takeover
The NFL kneeling controversy just won’t go away and as the NFL’s viewership and ratings continue to drop, the NFL quickly needs to find a solution before it goes the way of the USFL or, worse, has to allow the President to purchase the Buffalo Bills in exchange for a taxpayer bailout.
Hey Just Reminding You That UVA Theta Chi Otto Warmbier Is Still North Korea’s Prisoner
We first reported that University of Virginia Theta Chi Otto Warmbier had been arrested and detained by the North Korean government back in January of last year when it all went down.
Do Not Try These Extremely Offensive Party Themes
If you’ve decided that you stopped caring about appeasing every last minority group long ago, you might want to listen to what I’m about to say. I’m going to attempt to list off the most offensive party themes that have ever been conceived. What follows are parties that would make Donald Trump himself ask to tone things down, and surely ruin any professional aspirations of anyone dumb enough to host them. This party is all about the location. Specifically, a location that you don’t own.
Millennials Are Embracing “Anti-Sexual” Trends, Actually Just Can’t Get Laid
Studies are showing that members of the Millennial generation are having less sex than their parents did. The reasons why are a bit puzzling. Recent research also shows that overall, millennials — people born between the early 1980s and 2000 — have fewer sexual partners than the baby boomers and those in Generation X, the cohort that immediately preceded millennials.
UCF Sigma Nu Raising Money For Victims Of Orlando Terror Attack
This weekend, Orlando was hit by the worst mass shooting in US history, and the worst terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11. In the wake of this attack, many people have stepped up to do something about it, because that’s the goddamn American spirit. Among them is the UCF Sigma Nu chapter, which put up this Tilt to raise money to support victims of the shooting. We are shocked and saddened that most deadly shooting in American history took place here in Orlando this morning.
FOX’s Jesse Watters Hit Up SXSW And Made All The Festivalgoers Look Like Complete Losers
As we’ve documented time and time again FOX’s Jesse Watters exists solely to bring reason to the world and expose uneducated dipshits (typically liberals) for what they are: uneducated dipshits. I can tell you from firsthand experience that Austin, Texas’ 2016 South by Southwest (SXSW) celebration attracted quite a few… characters. Just a wide array of garbage humans. And, while most of us didn’t have the chutzpah to make fun of them right to their face, Jesse Watters is not like most of us.
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