Author of bestseller 'Goodnight Loon' goodnightloon.com & not bestseller How to be: North Dakota --
Proprietor: Old Abe Coffee Co.
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Articles by Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer: Why does Hagedorn treat Minnesotans like chumps?
Columns According to a recent National Priorities Project analysis, Minnesota taxpayers pay nearly $40 billion more to Washington DC than the state gets back in federal spending. Does the AAA-bonded state not deserve relief from D.C. given this long running imbalance? Written By: Abe Sauer | Jan 21st 2021 - 8am. × Abe Sauer It’s almost certainly unconstitutional.
Letter: Don't send that absentee ballot (wait to see the money)
Letters The campaign finance reports tell the truth Written By: Abe Sauer | Jul 29th 2020 - 6am. × Wait on that absentee ballot! The popularity of mail-in voting has changed the timelines for campaigns and may result in uninformed votes. Here is how I am approaching my vote and why: I am requesting an absentee ballot today and then holding that ballot until after July 31. Here’s why. July 31 is the last campaign finance reporting deadline before the Aug. 11 primary.
The Anti-Gay Donations That Target Apologized For? They Never Stopped
by Abe Sauer The December 4th Star Tribune article begins, “It isn’t easy being CEO of a public company.” The business section’s ode to Minneapolis-based Target CEO Gregg Steinhafel, which describes the executive as “always classy,” was a public display of affection Minnesotans stereotypically avoid. The author makes little mention of the recent revelations of gay-friendly Target’s long-standing support for many of the most openly anti-gay politicians.
Cornell Brand Enlists The Nard-Dog
Just like any institution that trades on a product and a reputation, law schools have brands. That most law schools similarly promote and build their brands via traditional messaging and conventional channels should come as no surprise. Lately though, Cornell University Law School objects to – and moves to strike! – this characterization.
Rick Perry "Chia Head" as Tall as Real Rick Perry
by Abe Sauer One would think the picture of a six-foot Rick Perry “chia pet” planter would be comment enough. No sir. The story behind the chia governor (yours for $4,500) is much, much better (worse?). From the eBay auction: The bust was initially used by Dairy Waste Management, a company which manufactures Cow Wow, a liquid fertilizer made from dairy cow manure without the manure odor.
Announcing Our 15th Annual Product Placement Award Nominees
It was the best of nominations. It was the worst of nominations. We now know the contenders for both the best in film in 2015 and the year’s worst as both the Oscars and the Razzies released the nominees for their respective awards. It also means we’re a month away from brandchannel’s annual Brandcameo Product Placement Awards — our 15th annual recognition of the best and worst of the year.
New Brand Taglines More Innovative, May Surprise You
Do you think you can name some of the top ten words used in brand taglines? Take a few guesses, we will wait… Ok. Ready?
Branded Year of the Monkey, Part 3: Coke, Watches and Luxury Products
Brands continue to roll out products aimed to capitalize on the Year of the Monkey for Chinese New Year (starting Feb. 8). In Parts 1 and 2 of brandchannel’s exhaustive look at monkey-branded brand products, we covered Apple, Beats, Pepsi, Lay’s, Vans, Reebok, Adidas, Jordan and Starbucks. We also noted how “Monkey King” actor Zhang Jinlai is having the best year ever.
Our Government-Funded Mission to Make Haiti Christian: Your Tax Dollars, Billy Graham's Son...
Our Government-Funded Mission to Make Haiti Christian: Your Tax Dollars, Billy Graham’s Son, Monsanto and Sarah Palin by Abe Sauer The story that best describes Haiti’s last year is not from a slum, nor from a cholera clinic. It’s not to be found in the rubble — but in a courtroom in Texas. In November, 2010, Lewis Lucke, a former U.S. ambassador to Swaziland and former USAID official in Haiti, filed suit against Haiti Recovery Group Ltd.
North Dakotans Focus on Selling Bakken Brands to Demographic in Transition
The “local” branding movement is taking off, from craft breweries to the White House. Global, corporate brands like Starbucks have adopted localization tactics to fit into this consumer niche while actual local brands—like Milwaukee’s Collectivo Coffee—have struggled after breaking what consumers saw as a local commitment. But in North Dakota, a place that is booming economically, local brands are struggling to gain a foothold partly because so many consumers aren’t local.
2014 March Madne$$: The School Tuitions Of The NCAA Bracket
It is once again time for the NCAA “March Madness” basketball tournament. The eventual champions will get to bask in the national spotlight. And sure, winning a basketball title is worth bragging about — but we all know the real champion is the institution of higher education that can charge the most tuition and still have enough students to keep its rejection letter printer warm. It’s The Awl’s annual NCAA bracket by tuition, using the college information resource Peterson’s.
PETA, Nationwide, Master Lock & More: A Look at Controversial Super Bowl Ads
The ad “leaves CBS executive speechless” says PETA , which claims its ad will be rejected for its loud sexual congress and message that vegans are better loves than carnivores. But maybe it’s because the ad also shows a woman killing a guy who didn’t satisfy her. PETA’s point is that “the cholesterol in meat, eggs, and dairy products slows the flow of blood to all the body’s organs,” including the penis. It adds” “Vegans last longer.
Does Your Hollywood Box Office Analysis Kowtow to China?
• “All that kowtowing, and what’s there to show for it?”?—?Oct. 1, 2013 (Rolling Stone) • “Movie moguls once collaborated with Nazis. Are they now kowtowing to Chinese Communists?”?—?July 1, 2013 (National Review) • “Curiously, there is no moral outrage that Hollywood is kowtowing to a regime with far more serious human rights abuses.
Real America, with Abe Sauer: Garrison Keillor Will Die
Garrison Keillor will die. That’s an honest-to-God truth. And while that blunt statement on the surface is just factual, what it represents for many, including myself, is difficult to comprehend or even contemplate: that Garrison Keillor will die. Keillor still helms Prairie Home Companion each week and shills his latest book, amongst other projects and appearances.
Real America, with Abe Sauer and Zack P.: The Awl 2010 Benefit Calendar
We met Zack P. back in August, when he was the sole protester at the Grand Forks, North Dakota Tea Parties. So, what has Zack been up to? I recently received an email answering just that question. “Abe: Am working on a protest of Focus on the Family and their hate-filled B.S. and I can tell by some of the comments on The Awl that people tend to think of North Dakota as a bunch of rednecks… just don’t want my hometown to seem like Laramie. Interested?” I was.
Real America: The 'Treasure Hunters Roadshow' and Their Small-Town Newspaper Grift
One look at the Treasure Hunters Roadshow operation and it’s clear what popular program the operation is exploiting. The Illinois-based traveling con has little in common with PBS’ Antiques Roadshow beyond a treasure chest logo and a similar name. Another thing it shares is a popularity based on a decreasingly well-off population’s desperate hope that a lifetime of treasuring material things will somehow, miraculously, be monetarily profitable. A national cultural failure, for sure.
'Predators': Robert Rodriguez Gets to the Chopper
Those of us who were moviegoers in 1987 have a very soft spot in our heart for Predator, the magnificent dual-governor-to-be casted scifi-horror-monster flick. Today, two Predator fans take a look at the sequel, the imaginatively titled Predators. Earlier we heard from horror connoisseur Melissa Lafsky; now here’s action, gun and script expert Abe Sauer, who reveals that Predators actually could have ended worse.
Two Hours in Marinette: Lessons From a School Shooting
Samuel Hengel put a .22-caliber Ruger, a Hi-Point 9mm Luger, two knives and 205 rounds of ammunition in a duffel bag. Then, on Monday morning, he walked out of his Porterfield, Wisconsin home for the last time?—?another young American boy going to school with guns, ammunition and intention. The November 29 school shooting incident in northern Wisconsin, at time of publication America’s latest, is being spun as a success of the post-Columbine system.
Real America: Andrew Breitbart's Racist Witch-Hunt Website Community
Maybe you’ve heard of Andrew Breitbart.
Primate in Chief: A Guide to Racist Obama Monkey Photoshops
People are outraged?—?outraged!?—?that a senior GOP official from Orange County, CA sent an email about Barack Obama that questioned his place of birth. But we’ve all become so numb to the “birther” conspiracies that the outrage wasn’t at all about the absurdity of a party official confronting the president of the United States about some conspiracy theory. The outrage was about an attached photo, depicting Obama as an ape.
Sarah Palin's History: Lifelong Unlicensed Hunter and Fisher
In December, after an episode of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” The Awl, along with many in America’s hunting community, asked some questions about the former Governor’s longstanding claim of being an avid and experienced hunter. At some point, all hunters are inexperienced, and even experienced ones are often unsafe, but being unlicensed is more than just illegal, it’s detrimental to natural resource efforts.
Shallow 'Rolling Stone' Hit Piece is Just What Michele Bachmann Needed
The backlash against the lashing out against presidential candidate Michele Bachmann has already begun. Following the Palin blueprint, Bachmann plans on fully leveraging the negative publicity with her base: they see leftist attacks as a point of pride and an indication of strength. This outpouring of disgust is coming at the expense of the excellent local bloggers in Minnesota who have long tracked and fact-checked Bachmann.
Sexiest Gallery Babes Fotogallery World Cup Fans Las Chicas del Mundial Hotties Contest [SLIDESHOW...
The World Cup is a economic boon for many interests. During the 2006 Cup, Adidas saw its sales increase a whopping 30%. Twitter is also reaping the World Cup whirlwind. And for online publications big and small, the World Cup means posting sexy WAG hottie fan babes GALLERY SLIDESHOWS. Please note: it should be a working assumption that all links below may be, for some workplaces, NSFW.
Smart Packaging: 5 Questions With Thinfilm's Matthew Bright
Alcohol has long been a way to augment reality, but now tech leaps in package design are letting consumers augment their realities before they even twist off the cap. As consumer goods brands strive for visibility, innovation and buzz, Norwegian tech company Thinfilm is becoming the go-to provider for making FMCG part of the Internet of Things. ThinFilm’s breakthroughs allow tiny electronic chips to be printed on plastic surfaces, creating smart labels and smart packaging.
Brand Management Gets Its Own Comic Book
Move over, Justice League and Thor. The hit superhero tale of 2017 may be the muscle-bound manga tale of a handful of British branding executives, interns and their cutthroat boss. Building the Perfect Beast bills itself as the “world’s first cult brand management comic” and there is no reason to doubt its claim—or its frothy tagline: “Enter the corporation. Exit your innocence.” It’s meant in good fun, with pointers and advice subtly sprinkled throughout.
Nissan's 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' Mini-Fleet Means Business
Would you buy a car from C3-PO? Nissan is hoping Millennials and more ‘classic’ Star Wars fans will at least think about it long enough to look at its new models. In the lead-up to Star Wars: The Last Jedi hitting cinemas on December 14th Nissan’s Star Wars tie-in is making the leap to hyperspace. The 2017 Los Angeles Auto Show is the perfect venue for Nissan to roll out its tricked-out Star Wars: The Last Jedi-inspired models.
Amazon Taps Brands For Online and In-Person Holiday Pop-Ups
Are consumers ready to shop bespoke Amazon brick and mortars? The e-commerce juggernaut has sent big box retailers like Walmart, Best Buy and Target scurrying to devise competitive strategies. But now the boutiques on high streets from London to Los Angeles have reason to worry as Amazon prepares for the holidays with Amazon Fashion pop-up shops. Amazon is dipping its toe into holiday pop-up shopping by partnering with a number of brands.
Amazon Taps Brands For Online and In-Person Holiday Pop-Ups
Are consumers ready to shop bespoke Amazon brick and mortars? The e-commerce juggernaut has sent big box retailers like Walmart, Best Buy and Target scurrying to devise competitive strategies. But now the boutiques on high streets from London to Los Angeles have reason to worry as Amazon prepares for the holidays with Amazon Fashion pop-up shops. Amazon is dipping its toe into holiday pop-up shopping by partnering with a number of brands.
China Racks Up Millions of Mobile Views Watching US TV Content
Temperatures in Shanghai have been at or above 100 degrees every day for about three weeks; it’s the city’s hottest summer in 140 years. The heat has killed 11 and driven tens of thousands into the indoor children’s play areas in malls, myself and toddler included. As their children trampolined in netted cages, nearly every parent—and many grandparents—sat or stood, face glued to a mobile device. Most of them were watching a foreign TV program or film.
Bud's Knight: 5 Questions With Entertainment Marketer Jim Holleran
It’s hard to think of a brand more active in entertainment marketing and product placement than Budweiser. Sometimes the beer’s role in a film is subtle, such as Bud’s presence in Netflix’s House of Cards; sometimes, not so much, as our Lifetime Achievement nod to Bud’s product placement prowess noted. Now, the man behind much of the success of Anheuser-Busch’s entertainment marketing activation is making a leap to the agency side.
30 Years Ago, KFC Opened in China - and Changed All the Rules
I was there on Nov. 12, 1987 when the first KFC opened in Beijing, just south of Tiananmen Square in an area called Qianmen. I was an American kid living in China starved for some food I recognized. The three-story Kentucky Fried Chicken—then a division of PepsiCo and not yet called KFC—was a godsend. And because we could pay in FEC—foreign exchange certificate—we did not have to join the impossibly long lines of locals looking to get their first taste of American fast food.
Brands Are Going Beyond Veterans Day to Honor Military Every Day
Veterans Day has long been a time for U.S. brands to offer special salutes and deals to veterans and active service military. And there are plenty of brands doing that again this year, from Google’s YouTube to Disney parks to countless others. But for some brands, patriotic salutes involve the other 364 days of the year. Brands are actively hiring veterans, and trying to make sure everyone knows it.
Brands Are Going Beyond Veterans Day to Honor Military Every Day
Veterans Day has long been a time for U.S. brands to offer special salutes and deals to veterans and active service military. And there are plenty of brands doing that again this year, from Google’s YouTube to Disney parks to countless others. But for some brands, patriotic salutes involve the other 364 days of the year. Brands are actively hiring veterans, and trying to make sure everyone knows it.
As 11.11. Looms, Don't Forget China's Tencent
Its social media platform WeChat has over 960 million active users and the media company itself has a market cap of $436 billion—84% as much as Facebook. In the last decade, Tencent has seen its share price increase by 2,636%. And yet most consumers outside China have never heard of Tencent.
Outdoor Voices and Fellow Startups Stretch the Athleisure Market
Is the athleisure market experiencing its craft beer moment? And just how much of a threat are a slew of athletic and outdoor startup brands to big names like Nike, Under Armour, Lululemon, Columbia and The North Face? Their names may be odd—Outdoor Voices, Cotopaxi, Janji, Path Projects, Ashmei, Wolaco—but their success isn’t. Take Outdoor Voices, just three years old, which found its fans through J. Crew’s discover program ( J.Crew CEO Mickey Drexler is now on the brand’s board).
Bloodweiser, Anyone? Global Brands Trick and Treat China Into Halloween
Take a sip of K-blood in an IV bag or a bite of a red “blood pocket” (strawberry cheesecake flavor). Those are both on the menu at KFC locations in China this Halloween. Or maybe a black-crust orange squash topped pizza from Pizza Hut, served in a spooky box. Afterward, you can hit a huge costume party sponsored by Budweiser and MAC Cosmetics in Shanghai or Guangzhou where there will be special “bleeding” aluminum bottles of Bud.
Red Bull Music Festival-A Love Letter to Tokyo
It starts like an outtake from the 2017 film Ghost in the Shell. But Red Bull’s new “Love Letter to Shibuya” short film soon begins to pulse with an identity of its own. While many know the brand as a patron of extreme sports and death-defying stunts in outer space, Red Bull has long been a content marketing ninja and patron of musicians, so its latest project touches on both—while being local in scope and global in ambition.
Nike Celebrates 35 Years of Air Force 1 with AF-100 Collaborations
Boomers had the Corvette. Millennials have Nikes. And just as Boomer popularity made the Chevrolet’s Corvette designs iconic and lasting, so have Millennials celebrated Nike’s Air Force One.
The Land of Fenty: The Rihanna Masterclass in Brand-Building
The measure of any pop star’s career is not gold records or downloads but brand extensions. And Rihanna is proving to be as powerful an on-the-shelf brand collaborator as she is in music, where she is the #1 artist in the pop category of Billboard’s music charts not just this year, but for the past 25 years. “Before she was BadGalRiRi: music, fashion and beauty icon, Robyn Rihanna Fenty was a little girl in Barbados transfixed by her mother’s lipstick.
Take Craft Back: Indie Brewers Take a Stand Against Big Beer
As attention-grabbing stunts go, it’s pretty great: Crowdfund the $213 billion purchase of Anheuser-Busch InBev. The campaign, part of a new Take Craft Back campaign by the Brewers Association, aims to help America’s independent beer brewers punch back above their weight against an increasingly powerful and conglomerated industry and what the association calls an “illusion of choice.” “America’s independent craft breweries turned the beer industry upside down.
Alibaba's 11.11 Shopping Festival Is Ready for Biggest Global Event
“See Now, Buy Now” is the motto of the 2017 11.11 Global Shopping Festival, the largest single online day of e-commerce ever conceived. Last year, the online retail holiday—singlehandedly created by China’s Alibaba Group as “Single’s Day” in 2009 with just 27 merchants—set records with US$17.8 billion in sales. In fact, Alibaba’s 2016 11.11 sales record smashed its 2015 record by over $3 billion.
Alibaba's 11.11 Shopping Festival Is Ready for Its Biggest Global Event
“See Now, Buy Now” is the motto of the 2017 11.11 Global Shopping Festival, the largest single online day of e-commerce ever conceived. Last year, the online retail holiday—singlehandedly created by China’s Alibaba Group as “Single’s Day” in 2009 with just 27 merchants—set records with US$17.8 billion in sales. In fact, Alibaba’s 2016 11.11 sales record smashed its 2015 record by over $3 billion.
Kobe Bryant's Scrappy Bodyarmor Energy Drink Picks a Fight
Look out Gatorade, Bodyarmor is coming for you. With the signing of a new partnership as the sports drink of the UFC, rookie beverage brand Bodyarmor—which describes itself as “created” by NBA star Kobe Bryant and co-founded by the founder of Vitaminwater—is making aggressive moves, much of them involving calling out category leader Gatorade as old, tired and “artificial.” The challenger brand is pulling no punches with its first major sports partnership.
Blade Runner 2049 Product Placement Has Only Blade Runner to Blame
Why did Blade Runner’s product placements feel so organic in 1982 while Blade Runner 2049’s placements feel forced and painful in 2017? You can blame Blade Runner. Blade Runner became a cult classic by asking what it means to be human. But the Ridley Scott film was also influential in the way it imagined the future of brands, pondering what it means to be a consumer-based culture.
Upstairs Amy: Walmart Canada Explores Branded Entertainment
Walmart Canada is getting into the branded content business. Next month, along with debit system Interac, it’s launching Upstairs Amy, a scripted web series about millennial parents that also features brands a wry Canadian sense of humour (with a U).
The Open Mic Project: Absolut Taps Rita Ora For Diversity Campaign
“No matter your neighbors’ race, sexuality, gender… all feel accepted,” exclaims the opening video. Throw in a refugee as the spokesperson and you have the launch promo for The Open Mic Project, Absolut vodka’s new music collaboration designed to promote acceptance globally—“regardless of background, belief or border.” It’s a bold message for the purpose-driving consumer brand, and it could not be more timely.
Talking on Sunshine: Five Questions With AccuWeather CMO John Dokes
The weather has been a big story this year, and forecasting services like AccuWeather have been more necessary than ever. In fact, AccuWeather has become the most popular website in the U.S. as people check it (and its award-winning app) to find out what’s up with the weather. Its biggest challenge—how to continue building its global presence, digital touchpoints and relationships with consumers based on something it can’t control—the weather?
Be Woke: Saturday Night Live's Denim Spoofs Through Time
This weekend’s Saturday Night Live season 43 premiere on NBC revived a longstanding tradition at SNL—making hay with denim brands. With heartthrob Ryan Gosling as host, SNL put together a digital short spoof commercial for Levi’s new line of denim: Levi’s Wokes. Hilarious.
Eminem: From Celebrity Brand to Celebrity Bond
Will the real P/E please stand up? Eminem is going from jail bond to Wall Street bond, and from 8 Mile to price-earnings with a new mini-IPO. The Denver-based Royalty Flow group is offering 3.3 million shares at $15 each to own part of the music catalog owned by Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem. Share owners will reportedly be paid back with future royalties from the music in what’s called a “celebrity bond”—and while Eminem is hardly the first, the Slim Shady bond may be one of the riskier examples.
Crocs at 15: The Brand That Refuses to Die
In just 15 years, Crocs sold 300 million pairs of its eponymous foam clog. That’s over 480,700 pairs sold for every one of its 624 outlets, which was the number of Crocs retail shops at its peak. Of course, many of those sales were online. So the brand’s announcement that it plans to shave its retail presence to 400 stores by the end of 2018 is no surprise. That 400 stores is a surprise to many who thought the brand might be a memory by now.
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