Adiba Nelson
(She/Her)
As seen in:
MSN,
HuffPost,
The Washington Post,
YourTango,
Familia By Parents,
Kindred by Parents,
Parents,
The Kitchn,
MYSA,
The Good Men Project
and
Covers:
parenting, social justice, disability rights, womanhood
Doesn't Cover:
politics, sports (though I'd really love to), travel, business, money
Debut memoir AIN'T THAT A MOTHER out NOW! | muckrack.com/adibanelson | Bylines w/@parents, @huffpost, @washingtonpost, etc | Repped by @helmliterary
Articles by Adiba Nelson
Hazel's Best Day
I am the library's staff development coordinator. I will read anything and everything, though I've been told I read mostly sad or serious books. Who needs a story with a happy ending? When I'm not reading, I'm spending time with my family either dancing, camping or playing videogames together!
Black Girl Loading: These Sisters Discuss Why Blackness Is Not A Monolith
MadameNoire Featured Video I am a die-hard Gen-Xer. I grew up in the age of NWA, Cross Colours, Africa medallions and Malcolm X caps. Rap was rivaling grunge to be the music of the day. Ebonics, now referred to as AAVE, was becoming more of a thing in Tucson, Arizona and dances like the butterfly and tootsie roll had replaced the wop, running man and cabbage patch. I was about my Blackness. And my mom was having none of it. She subscribed heavily to the notion of respectability politics.
Dunbar Pavilion: Tucson’s Living Legacy
Marian Anderson. Jackie Robinson. Satchel Paige. Langston Hughes. Larry Doby. Louis Armstrong. These Black celebrities not only passed through Tucson but made it their business to visit the halls of the Paul Laurence Dunbar School. As a matter of fact, Langston Hughes is the reason the Dunbar School ever received proper heating and cooling.
Conversation With First Black Women To Cover The Super Bowl
MadameNoire Featured Video What does Black Excellence look like when it slides from Black History Month right into Women’s History Month? It looks like MJ Acosta-Ruiz and Cari Champion being the first Afro-Latin and Black women—respectively—to report on the Super Bowl, live from the sidelines.
Baby Please: Maternity Sex Is Some Of The Greatest Sex You’ll Ever Have, Here’s Why
MadameNoire Featured Video When I got pregnant, I was actively trying to not get pregnant. Meaning I put on Jill Scott—mistake number one, did the deed—mistake number two and then took Plan B the next morning, mistake number three. Plan B was a mistake because what I didn’t know at the time is that Plan B is less effective in women over 150 pounds. My weight was definitely above that, and six weeks later I’d resigned myself to gaining at least another 30 pounds. Was I happy about this?
SUNDAY ‘NOIRE: ‘The Best Man: The Final Chapters’ Showed Me What I Refused To See
MadameNoire Featured Video When I had a baby, everything changed. Not just my jean and bra size—which went up exponentially— or my bank account balance—which disappeared faster than the “good” potato salad at the family reunion—but also, my psyche changed. My mentality, my daily emotional state of being, my relationships and how I looked at the world around me changed – all of it was different. All of it mattered and none of it mattered.
How To Pretend Latinx And Non-Binary Don’t Exist As Told By Sarah Huckabee Sanders
MadameNoire Featured Video Can you govern a people without actually talking to the people? A reasonable person would say no, absolutely not. One cannot govern without understanding the needs and wants of their constituents, marginalized or otherwise, for even the marginalized are among those you represent. One must understand, or at least attempt to understand, the social and cultural nuances of economy, education, identity and language.
From Breast Cancer Survivor to “Breast Cancer Baddie,” Marissa Thomas Founds Breast Cancer Support Group for Women of Color
MadameNoire Featured Video October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and while everything in sight tends to be bubblegum pink, there is a stark absence of color when it comes to breast cancer research.
Embracing Challenges: A Review of Ain’t That a Mother: Postpartum, Palsy, and Everything in Between
Purchase Adiba Nelson’s debut memoir, Ain’t That a Mother: Postpartum, Palsy, and Everything in Between,for the book jacket alone and clutch it under your arm like you would your prized handbag, using it as your statement accessory. The cover is gorgeous and girly—cotton-candy pink with a gold-horned unicorn piñata. People may stop and ask, “What are you reading?” Wink, wink, I’m speaking from experience.
Doc McStuffins Turns 10: A Chat With Dr. Myiesha Taylor, Loretta Devine And Creator Chris Nee About The Groundbreaking Disney Cartoon
MadameNoire Featured Video In 2012, Disney Junior ushered in a new character that looked like nothing we’d seen from the House of Mouse—an adorable Black girl with eyes big as saucers, the braided pigtails of our youth and a lab coat. Dottie “Doc” McStuffins burst onto the scene following in her mom Dr. McStuffins’ footsteps. Full of sweetness, shenanigans and skill, Doc set out to fix all of the broken toys in her toy chest.
3 Signs You Have "Relationship Anxiety" - And How Not To Spiral
Any relationship, regardless of who it is with, takes work. Romantic relationships seem to take a bit more work than others because when you have strong feelings for someone, you're always trying to put your best foot forward. So, you do all the things: you talk about each other's love language, you check in periodically to make sure the relationship is in a "good place", and you do your best to make sure you're available for your partner.
10 Strange Things I Did To Recover From My Divorce Original
Are you OK? I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times my mom, girlfriends, co-workers, and random people on the street asked me that question when I was going through my divorce. Whenever I would speak of my pending divorce with a tinge of sarcasm, or laugh about some new demand my ex-husband was making, they would all ask me: Are you OK? Are you sure you’re OK? The absolute truth was that I was. I was very OK.
For Me, Giving Birth Was Traumatic. Other Black Moms Deserve Better.
In 2009, when I was giving birth to my first (and only) child, there was a moment I was certain I was going to die. Before my Caesarean section, I was given a dose of opioids for the pain, but they didn’t kick in in time for the surgery. So the doctor decided to give me an epidural. Within moments, I was laid back on the operating table, my arms strapped to it. Oxygen was lightly flowing into my nose. Then the panic set in.
Wheels UP!: Actress, Model, And YouTube Sensation Lauren “LoLo” Spencer Is Just Getting Started And Has No Intention Of Slowing Down
MadameNoire Featured Video In 2011, when my daughter was 2-years-old, I scoured bookshelves looking for books that represented her – Black, disabled, precocious and cute as a button. There was nothing to be found. To absolutely no one’s surprise, I wrote one because I knew that my daughter needed to see herself represented in the world. As I was attempting to traditionally publish said book I was turned away and told “the world’s not ready for this yet”. Not ready for what? Disabled children?
Black Motherhood: Birthing Black Babies Is No Longer A Choice Between Life and Death
MadameNoire Featured Video “You know how they say man plans and God laughs? Well, in my case God damn near fell off the throne, cackling. Plan B did not work. I s*** you not. Those two tiny pills may as well have been tic tacs because no sooner had I placed the cap back on my pee stick and shook my hand free of my own urine, did that damn thing light up pink like a 1980s fanny pack.
Big Freedia, Beyoncé And The Gift That Keeps On Giving: BLACK JOY
MadameNoire Featured Video On June 21, 2022, Queen Bey did what she does best. She broke the internet—again. Three hours ahead of schedule, her new House banger “Break My Soul” was released and we all collectively lost our minds. I, for one, immediately resumed my feeble attempts to figure out how to twerk properly, vogue for my life and dip without breaking every bone in my body. I failed at all of the above (don’t judge me), but what I *didn’t* fail at was JOY. And not just any joy but MY joy.
“This wasn’t a Black woman thing.”: An Excerpt from Adiba Nelson’s ‘Ain’t That A Mother: Postpartum, Palsy, and Everything in Between’
“Everyone had always told me I was going to be such a good mother, and I had always seen myself with four or five children, but here I was faced with one and I couldn’t even handle our first day alone.” Below is an excerpt from Adiba Nelson’s memoir Ain’t That A Mother: Postpartum, Palsy, and Everything in Between, now available from Blackstone Publishing. Sliding into my matching slippers, I shuffled over to the bassinet to stare at the baby people continuously said was mine.
Who I Am as a Mother Is Not Who I Thought I'd Be
Adiba Nelson, author of the newly released memoir Ain't That a Mother, shares how even when parenting goes left, she trusts that her and her daughter are going to be all right. I am not the mother I thought I'd be. Heck, I'm not even the mother I want to be. But my daughter is still here, alive and thriving, so I guess I'm kind of OK at this comedy of errors I call motherhood, right? I tell my daughter all the time, "I'm new to this so don't expect me to be true to this.
On International Women’s Day We Celebrate Marian Anderson: Our First Unapologetically Black Opera Singer Leaves A Legacy We Can Still See Today
MadameNoire Featured Video Source: Afro Newspaper/Gado / Getty “The voice carries everything.” Denyce Graves, American mezzo-soprano opera singer (and legend) said that when speaking about singing. If this is true, then the voice little Marian Anderson heard streaming through an open window one sunny afternoon carried her right to her destiny. Marian Anderson, born in 1897 and the descendant of slaves on both sides of her family, was a trailblazer in the music and entertainment industry.
SUNDAY ‘NOIRE: Rest As Reparations Is This Phoenix Artist’s Revolutionary Movement For Black Women
MadameNoire Featured Video Source: Anneka Mitchell / Therosia ReynoldsAt the age of 36, Therosia Reynolds took a fall at work, smashing her head against the concrete. She concussed and while for most people that would be the end of the story, Therosia, who had suffered through and survived Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH), it was truly just the beginning. In her teen years, the illness at times left her blind, paralyzed, rife with nausea and unable to hold down solid foods.
OPINION: Sorority Rivalry And One Ups Is Not A Flex When It Comes To Black Women’s Health
MadameNoire Featured Video Source: Krisada tepkulmanont / Getty I am a Scorpio – the pettiest of the petty, zodiac sign. If there’s a way to go low and not feel bad about it, we’ve figured it out, thought long and hard on it and then found a Capricorn to talk us out of it. However, there are some stoops that even this princess of petty will not drop to. On Jan.
My Ancestors and the Cells That Bind Me to Them
For as long as I can remember I've felt the pull of France. I spent a day in Paris when I was eight-years-old and was filled with awe and wonder at the architecture and the seemingly endless cycle of cars circling the Champs de Elysees. But the pull to be there was not that of someone who wanted to go back and see the sites. It was a pull to return home. Except, I wasn't born there. I was born to a Puerto Rican mom and Black dad in Manhattan, New York.
SUNDAY ‘NOIRE: Instagram Cutie Indybugg1 Reminds Us All What It Means To Live In Our Joy
MadameNoire Featured Video On Dec. 6, actress Viola Davis shared a video to her Instagram account and I quickly found myself stuck in the loop of watching it over and over again. Everything about this little girl, and the people around her just filled me with such joy and pride, and, well, emotion. Yes, I got a little teary eyed. There is something so powerful about seeing little Black girls embodying all of their magic with such joy and glee and the adults around them encouraging it.
Perspective | With ‘Alma’s Way’ on PBS Kids, Afro-Latino children finally have characters they can relate to
Growing up in New York City, I lived among children like me, families like mine. It was not strange to hear another little Black girl refer to her aunts as her “Titi’s,” to watch dark-skinned men and women dance salsa, hear a brown woman call out “Yadira, ven!” and turn to see a little girl the color of the night sky come running down the street hollering back “Ya vengo, mami!” It wasn’t until I moved to Tucson that my Latin heritage was questioned.
Perspective | The Rebel Girls’ new, important addition: 100 Real-Life Tales of Black Girl Magic
“The world isn’t ready for a book like this.” Those are the exact words an agent said to me in 2011, when I finished pitching my children’s book about a little Black girl with disabilities. Disheartened but unflappable (and perhaps a little sassy), I replied “Well, we’re here now. We don’t have time to wait for the world to get ready!” In 2011, I couldn’t even get a book published so that my daughter could have representation of herself in the world.
Perspective | My daughter’s tween ’tude is a welcome reminder that she’s so much more than her disability Original
“You’re impossible!” Two words. Two words that showed up on the screen of her communication device were all it took to solidify the fact that, yes, I do indeed have a tween living in my home. I mean, there were other things that kind of clued me in.
As a Black woman, I can finally exhale
Adiba Nelson 15m 15m Is this what exhaling feels like? I realized this morning, as I listened to CNN call the 2020 presidential election for Joe Biden, that I’d been holding my breath for the last four years. As I felt myself exhale, my shoulders fall and my jaw release a bit, I realized that I was also crying — something I didn’t expect. I felt my hands begin to shake and the lump in my throat grow. For four years, I’d been taking in short, stilted breaths, always on the verge of hyperventilating.
This Is Why I Strip
By Adiba Nelson I don’t look like her: Or her, either: I am actually the complete opposite of these women. I’m brown, I’m thick/heavy/curvy/voluptuous/fat, and any other word that is congruous with not skinny. I have natural hair (i.e. not relaxed) and I have a gap in between my front teeth. And this is precisely why I strip. Well, perform burlesque to be exact, but at the end of the day we both take our clothes off, so whatever — I strip.
My Daughter Desperately Misses Her School Friends. A Virtual Lunch Period Changed Everything.
published about 4 hours ago Credit: Photo: Shutterstock, Graphic: kitchn I can think of a million things I’d rather do than supervise remote learning while trying to work, get a new home in order, and schedule a gazillion therapy appointments for my daughter (speech, physical, and occupational therapy — this kid’s calendar is almost as full as mine!). This pandemic has threatened to make me turn to wine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
If Elijah McClain Was Not Safe in the Hands of the Police, How Can My Child Be?
I naively viewed my daughter's quirks tied to her disability as a shield for her against racism or police brutality. But after Elijah McClain's death, I am planning to have the difficult conversation not knowing how much she will understand. By Adiba Nelson July 07, 2020 Eleven years ago, my daughter was diagnosed with bilateral schizencephaly and cerebral palsy, conditions that greatly impact her motor skills and her speech.
The odds have always been against me. This is what being black in America is.
Adiba Nelson 1h 1h According to research from the Urban Institute, I’m not supposed to be here. According to the statistics, 75.4 percent of black children are poor at some point during childhood. Only 64 percent of those black children actually complete high school, but that dips to 52 percent if they were raised by a single mom. Given all those numbers — and so many more — statistically, I should not have the life I have today.
What will it take for America to understand the pain of black women?
Adiba Nelson Jun. 1, 2020 Jun. 1, 2020 I wonder if this is it. I wonder if this will be the murder that finally forces America to take a good hard look at itself — its origins, its practices — and rage until all of the gears grind to a screeching halt and we are forced to go back to the drawing board.
'Rona needs to stay away. Too many people need me.
The author and her daughter. The author and her daughter. Photo: Adiba Nelson. Photo: Adiba Nelson. Image 1 of / 1 Caption Close Image 1 of 1 The author and her daughter. The author and her daughter. Photo: Adiba Nelson. Coronavirus. Covid-19. Or as Black Twitter has so affectionately named it, Rona. Rona is here. Rona is that acquaintance who comes over uninvited, and stays for dinner, and dessert, and then stays the night because well, heck, they're already there - might as well get comfy.
A single mom is stuck at home with potential coronavirus, a daughter who is disabled, and no help.
Coronavirus. Covid-19. Or as Black Twitter has so affectionately named it, Rona. Rona is here. Rona is that acquaintance who comes over uninvited, and stays for dinner, and dessert, and then stays the night because well, heck, they’re already there — might as well get comfy. But what Rona fails to realize, or perhaps realizes but doesn’t care about, is the fact that you are a single mom, on a budget, with a disabled child and an autoimmune disorder. And this jerk just coughed. In your house.
Perspective | Where are all the books for black moms?
On the day my period was supposed to show up, I got nothing. Not even a fake cramp. Because I’d had a dream the previous night that my tooth had fallen out, and I come from a fairly suspicious Afro-Latin family, I immediately bought a pregnancy test. Then I got everything — a positive result, followed by nausea, tears, maniacal laughter and hyperventilation. They hit me all at once because, well – I had taken Plan B! I wasn’t supposed to be pregnant.
A Matter Over Mind
And then a few thousand years later it gathered with a bunch of other brains in the foothills above Tucson and decided to have a big talk about just what the hell was going on. Last week, the 25th annual Science of Consciousness Conference came to town, with some of the brightest and most far-out minds on our planet converging to discuss topics such as the evolution of language, the origin of life, psychedelics, metaphysics, artificial intelligence and much more.
How To Be A Friend To Someone With Special Needs
However, as she's gotten older and we move about in our community, I've noticed more and more children staring curiously, speaking to me instead of to her, or sadly, being scared of her. It's heartbreaking because she is one of the most gregarious and friendly kids I know, but I cannot fault them – they're children, and they're doing what most kids do when faced with something unfamiliar – they're keeping their distance.
Fair House
On the east side of Tucson, Kate and her husband live in a home they designed themselves and harvest rainwater for their vegetable garden. When she retired from a career in social services, Kate started working as a housing tester for the Southwest Fair Housing Council, a nonprofit fair housing agency that serves the state of Arizona. "I wanted to do something fun," she says. Housing testers are basically secret shoppers for the housing and lending industry.
Trumpcare Is Dead! | Feature | Tucson Weekly
The Republican push to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act collapsed this week, leaving the future of Obamacare up in the air once again. On Monday, July 17, Senate President Mitch McConnell announced that he was giving up on passage of the Better Care Reconciliation Act after it became clear that he didn't have the votes to even begin debate.
Review Re-ignites Battle Over Federal Land Use | Feature | Tucson Weekly
The road to Ironwood Forest National Monument from Interstate 10 at Red Rock exit winds first through a subdivision, then past a cattle feedlot and fallow cotton fields edged by rough-hewn wooden posts strung with barbed wire. When the road switches to primitive dirt, the desert landscape reveals little beyond low-lying scrub bushes. The roadway appears freshly graded, but jumbled rocks at dry wash crossings mandate a high-clearance vehicle.
Out-of-the-Box Solutions | Feature | Tucson Weekly
Local homeless-advocate Michele Ream walks the walk. She's let homeless people crash at her place. She uses social media to drum up support when she sees someone being mistreated. Terri Franco and other homeless people say groups that want to help should ask Ream and others in the trenches how to combat homelessness. Ream's nonprofit Community Supported Shelters Tucson, launched in 2015, builds 8-by-12-foot structures she calls "homeless huts." So far, they've built two that are housing people.
4 Things You Can Do Today to Stop 'Disabling' My Daughter
Author’s Note: I realize that children with physical and cognitive disabilities run the gamut of ability and function. It is not my intention to categorize all children with disabilities as one thing or another or to juxtapose them against each other. My sole goal is to simply advocate for the fair, equal, and just treatment of children with disabilities. It is my professional and personal belief that most children are capable, if given the chance.
Creative Soul | Feature | Tucson Weekly
Today, in 2017, it seems we are damn near obligated to focus on our collective future since a certain someone in Washington is hell-bent on dismantling it Tweet by 140-character Tweet. The news is often one exasperated breath of "Oh dear God, what now?" This makes it difficult to find the bright lights. You know, the bright lights we are supposed to run towards when the darkness threatens to swallow you whole?
I Don't Want To Have a Black Son: A Black Mom's Biggest Fear
I’m about to make an admission that I’m not sure I’ve heard other Black women make, but I have a hard time believing have never thought—even if only for an instant. I sometimes contemplate the idea of having another child, but the possibility of having a Black son scares the shit out of me. It’s true. I am absolutely terrified that I could get pregnant and give birth to a beautiful brown boy who will not make it to 13, because Black boys who play with toy guns get shot (Tamir Rice).
4 Things You Can Do Today to Stop Disabling My Daughter
According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, the definition of this word is as follows: It is a verb, which means it is a physical action that is taken to restrict something or someone. Add the letter “D” to the end, the word becomes disabled, and the definition changes drastically: Disabled is an adjective, meaning it is a descriptor that is used to describe a person. One letter changes how we define a single word. And that one little letter has the power to change a life.
Casa Video Top 10 | The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch
During chilly days like this, there is a phenomenon at my house we like to call "Winter Time Cats." When the outside temperatures dip below 65 degrees, our antisocial little fuzzballs forego their usual scampering to climb onto our laps (and chests, heads and shoulders) for warmth and cuddles. It is the damn best.Don't have a cat? Go one . Don't have anything to watch while you cuddle?
Ticket Giveaway Jan. 8 | The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch
VIDEO Michael Carbonaro is coming to town and we're giving away two pairs of tickets to see his show. Here's what the Tucson Music Hall has to say about him: Michael Carbonaro has performed over 500 comically perplexing and improbable feats of magic on his hit truTV series, The Carbonaro Effect.
A Word To The Brokenhearted
Hey girl. Yeah, you — the girl who feels like her life just came to a screeching halt. Maybe your partner left you. Maybe you lost your job. Whatever it is, that shit hurt, didn’t it? Yeah, it did. Worse than a bee sting on your lady parts on a hot summer day — this stings like no other. You put time and energy into your “dream job.” You did things in bed. And on the floor. AND ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. Things that you had never done, and promised yourself you’d never do with another human being.
A Love Letter To Women Everywhere: I Love You, Girl
Even your imperfections are perfect because they are perfectly tailored to you, and have played a crucial part in shaping your core. No one can take away the core of who you are. Ravishers… Oh my sweet baby Jesus in heaven, RAVISHERS! What the hell happened over the last few days? I post one little article about Auntie Bey going all in at the Superbowl and people lose their damn minds! Your girl needed a mental break, but honies I am BACK! And I am back with the gift of love.
Casa Video Top 10 | The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch
Over here at Weekly World Central, we're stressin' to get next week's paper to the printer a little early so we can take a little time off for movie marathons and pizza at home. That's what December days off are for, right?
Show More
loading
Actions
Is this you?
As a journalist, you can create a free Muck Rack account to customize your profile, list your contact preferences, and upload a portfolio of your best work.Get in touch with Adiba
Contact Adiba, search articles and posts on X, monitor coverage, and track replies from one place.
Learn more about Muck Rack