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Articles by Alysa Stryker
Nice! Doctor Has Poster of Skeleton on Wall to Establish Some Kind of Credibility
DoctorSkeletonShouldn't You Already Know This? × WE'RE DESPERATE FOR YOUR APPROVAL.
Woman Spends Entire Doctor’s Appointment Worrying About the Way She Tied the Gown
DoctorsSorryHospital Gown × WE'RE DESPERATE FOR YOUR APPROVAL.
Sure, My Right to Marry Might Be Overturned, but Am I Bringing Strange Energy to This Dinner Party?
Hey everyone. Thank you for checking in to see if the dinner party at our house is still on for tonight. It’s definitely still on! As you might’ve heard, things have been a little crazy over here. We were in the middle of wedding planning when the news broke that gay marriage might soon be overturned and we’re in a state of complete shock. But we’re not going to let that stop us from hosting this thing. So come on over. See you soon. You made it! Hi! Whoops. My voice cracked. Sorry. I’m a little on edge.
Subtle Modifications to Make When Your Work Conference Goes Virtual
Wrap a muffin from breakfast in a napkin, tuck it into your blazer pocket, and carry it around your house for the rest of the day. Spend the entirety of the opening speaker’s presentation researching restaurants you may have tried if the conference had been held in its originally scheduled location (usually Orlando for some reason?). On the evaluation form, write “this keynote was IMPOSSIBLE to follow” and give the speaker ridiculously low scores on the rating portion.
REPORT: Straight White Friend Going to Still be Friends With Everyone When This Election is All Over
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A Letter from Your CEO During These Unprecedented Times
Dear all, First off, I genuinely have no idea what’s going on with any of you. But I have to start this note by saying I hope you’re doing well during this difficult time. Many, many months into quarantine, I’d like to ask, how are you? I am also obligated to wonder, how is your mental and physical health? We, the team at Henry’s Traditional Mustard Inc., are in this fight together. We want to do everything we can to protect your well-being.
Woman Staring Off in Space Just Backtracking Mentally to See if She Put Two Tampons in
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Child’s Made-Up Song Kind of Good?
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REPORT: Mom Reading Sentimental Card Out Loud
Reports indicate that your mom has chosen to read aloud the emotional birthday card you grabbed quickly at CVS on your way over. “Mom, you’re my biggest role model. You mean everything to me,” your mom says, in front of your sister, brother-in-law and several nieces who were not prepared for this sudden onset of emotion and do not yet realize these are just the words that were printed on the card.
Gynecologist Still Asking You to Scooch Forward a Little
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