Barbara Tremblay Cipak

Many people think picking out which flowers to send to a funeral is the hardest part of the process of sending a sympathy arrangement or funeral spray. But in my eighteen years as a professional florist, I've learned that it's the messages on the enclosure cards that most people freeze up on. The important thing to remember when offering condolences is that there really are no right words. Words will always be inadequate when someone is gutted by the loss of a loved one.

Writing a sympathy message is just as difficult as knowing what to say when someone dies. It's not as simple as just scrawling down any generic message—messages of condolences require one to be sensitive, mindful, and thoughtful as well as being sympathetic. There are also cliched and possibly offensive phrases to avoid. Thinking of messages of sympathy can be a difficult process. Sympathy cards present a unique challenge in that they are for people who need comfort and support.