I eat hot emcees like cold salads.

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@bheater — 9,791 followers, 31,474 tweets

Jun 23, 2017

I bet when Donald Trump did that Wrestlemania appearance, Vince McMahon asked him to tone it down a bit during the dress rehearsals.

Jun 22, 2017

Everyone should be obligated to include their Uber rating on Tinder.

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