Bill Stieg worked

Is there anything stupider than arguing about who is the greatest football player of all time? There is! Who is the greatest of all time in all sports? That’s right, who’s the GOAT of GOATs? Sure, it’s comparing apples and oranges, but we’re also throwing in some plums and peaches and mangoes. That’s a fiber-rich debate. How much weight do you give to, say, an athlete’s dominance of an era? (Woods!) Influence on the sport? (Jackie!) Versatility?

We’re just a few days into 2023, and the “New Year New You” energy is in the air. It’s the perfect time to finally make an appointment for your annual checkup. But you probably haven’t done it, have you? Avoiding the doctor is a guy thing. Most women have annual gynecological checkups. But men wait for a sign — like pain, blood or something about their penis, says Gary LeRoy, M.D., who’s seen it all in 30 years as a family physician in Dayton, Ohio. “Not necessarily in that order,” he points out.

Recovered from COVID-15 yet? That’s how much weight everybody supposedly gained during the pandemic. (The real number is more like 12 or so pounds, but whatever, who’s counting?) It was the Dad Bod of 2021, the excuse everybody used for why their bodies had gone soft. “It’s not me,” we’d say, “it’s COVID’s fault!” And then we’d laugh and poke each other’s bellies like Pillsbury Doughboys. Well, that moment has passed. It’s 2022, and blaming the virus is no longer an excuse for skipping the gym.