Nougat-indifferent cowphobic drifter. *America's Worst Radio Host* -- The Daily Caller

Garfield at Large: Wild Pitches: Autumn 2016 Edition — As the proprietor of this feature, I have only two responsibilities. One is typing. The other is opening email. Twice a year the latter yields the former -- and, sigh, it is never pretty. I wanted to pitch a couple products to you for inclusion in your next gift guide....

Garfield at Large: Send In The Clowns — People get stupid ideas in their heads, they share them, and irrational fears get triggered. The clowns, for example, were the month's second-dumbest social media freakout. The first was the spasm of righteous indignation in reaction to YouTube's clarification of its ad-friendliness standards

The 10 Better Commandments

Garfield at Large: What 'Objective' Means. What 'Bias' Means. What 'Idiot' Means — bi·as inclination or prejudice for or against someone or something. "readers said the paper was biased toward the conservatives" If you want some light reading for eternity, Google the question "is the media biased." The question is a staple of both the political right and the socialist left.

Garfield at Large: Who Moved My Digital Inventory? — 1,224 US dairy farms went away in 2015. - News item Someone on CNBC called it "quantified cheesing." It's what happens when the government takes action on plunging dairy prices, due to the oversupply of milk, that are forcing dairies out of business left and right. Yep, Uncle Sam to the rescue.

Citizens Disunited — As you know, according to the landmark Citizens United case, political money is a form of protected speech and corporations are people. And because those people happen to be blabbermouths, the Supreme Court's nutty 2010 ruling has amounted to the Broadcast Stations Not Becoming Completely Irrelevant and Going Out of Business Act.

Olympic Ad Doping -- But Who Are The Dopes? — What's your favorite Olympic event so far? Mine is the Modern Bullshit-a-thon. And the new ExxonMobil campaign totally wins the gold. What a wonderful event: an opportunity for viewers around the world to marvel at the nimbleness and raw power of advertising combined with the breathtaking -- dare I say virtuosic?

Mr. Garfield In The Echo Chamber With A Microphone — Please forgive me for posting about media -- not about marketing, not about reach, not about engagement, but something more fundamental. Namely: why bother? I ask this during a moment that I probably should be savoring -- details below -- but which instead has me propelled me into a dark chamber of doubt and despair.

A Discredit To His Place — There's nothing wrong with being an old white guy. Some of my best friends are old white guys. Some of the greatest Americans are old white guys and many of history's most important figures are old white guys. Moses. Aristotle. Benjamin Franklin. Tchaikovsky, Gordie Howe.

Sorry, Stuck In Traffic — While Microsoft (finally) built up its cloud business and Google took over the world with search, Yahoo stood pat on content. Lots and lots of content viewed by lots and lots of people creating lots and lots of ad inventory that got less and less valuable with every passing minute.
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Sep 25, 2016

Yes, Pastor Rowe. You're correct. They're exactly the same. Plus, I think she may be a Muslim. 

Sep 24, 2016

Monday Night Offal! What will be said after the debate? If you have a hunch, play OTM's Post-Debate Bingo 

Sep 20, 2016

Extending hiatus due to being buried in other projects. Enjoy John in the meanwhile. He's superb. 

Sep 20, 2016  Trump stands by Putin, Christie. "Goes way back" with Boss Tweed, Ceaucescu, Son of Sam.

Sep 14, 2016

@PhillipsPasha oy vey. any idea how hard it is to correct radio? i'm on it.

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