Bombeck than Steinbeck

UNITED STATES—Savagery is all around us, even in the modest strip of yard where I, Leapin’ Loca Lupe, and Chihuahua DeVille roam around. They were snarling at each other last night. Ferociously. The master was not to be roused from his couch. These last couple weeks he has been more prone to revel in sweet deliriousness, prey to a lingering flu, than policing the dogs. Last night’s canine pandemonium crescendoed with a standoff between pit bull lab Lupe, and one of the yard critters.

UNITED STATES—The Master of Luna has developed a clear predilection for traditional spring-driven rat traps. They strike him as more “humane”—a word to be ever bracketed in quotes. A quality ever in search of itself, ever evolving. You hear that crack of the trap snapping, just what your ears sought. Experience in this long-running contest between humans and rodents has instilled in the master the need to arrive at the death scene ASAP. When the poor animal’s body is still pliant.

UNITED STATES—Always a star…It is another week and there is a new war on, right here in our home. It is a war with the rats. In addition, now to Iran, Saudi Arabia, Albania, Russia and heaven knows how many more places are on the list. War seems to be quite the popular thing now. And I, Luna, am right in the thick of this war with the rats. It’s all the Master can do to wake up in the morning and blurt out Rats! in the sense that genteel World War II vets used the term in polite company.