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Articles by Timothy Burke
Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog.xyz)
This is a heavily interactive web application, and JavaScript is required. Simple HTML interfaces are possible, but that is not what this is. Post Timothy Burke bubbaprog.xyz did:plc:vqtakzi5bityrtbjj4cfan4l The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5 2025-12-23T01:28:13.830Z
How To Save Movie Theaters
For a system that is supposed to be about minimizing friction in matching human productive activity to human wants and needs, capitalism sure does turn out to be strikingly inert at times. Once a business sector has ascended to the heights of near-monopoly, it usually becomes devoted to maintaining the structures of commerce that sustained it during its rise, come what may.
Mark Kastelic is Becoming a Key Player for the Boston Bruins
By: Tim Burke | Follow me on Twitter / X @timsports3 Following a second straight season that resulted in a home-ice elimination loss to the Florida Panthers, where the Boston Bruins were pushed around, General Manager Don Sweeney clearly stressed building a bigger, stronger, and heavier roster. Signing 6 foot 6 defender Nikita Zadorov to a six-year, $30 million contract greatly emphasized that point.
Bruins Hampus Lindholm Should Lead Boston’s Power Play Upon Return From Injury
By: Tim Burke | Follow me on Twitter / X @timsports3 The Boston Bruins’ Power Play has been abysmal since the start of the season. They score on just 11.4% of their opportunities, the worst in the NHL. To make matters worse, their 70 Power Plays are 11 more than any other team in the league. The Bruins have six goals on their last 61 attempts on the man advantage. Bruins Head Coach Jim Montgomery needs to address and fix this to turn the season around.
Bruins Forward Trent Frederic Due to Breakthrough Slump
By: Tim Burke | Follow me on Twitter / X @timsports3 The Boston Bruins’ struggles continue to start the 2024-2025 season. On Tuesday night in Toronto, the Toronto Maple Leafs shut out the Bruins. Tuesday was the third time the Bruins have been shut out this season, and we are only 15 games into the season. For further context, the Bruins were shut out three times in the previous two seasons combined.
No Need to Panic over Lindholm and Pastrnak’s Slow Start for Boston
By: Tim Burke | Follow me on Twitter / X @timsports3 On July 1st, 2024, Boston Bruins General Manager Don Sweeney signed Elias Lindholm to a seven-year contract worth $54 million, the largest Free Agent contract of Don Sweeney’s tenure as Bruins GM. With a lucrative contract comes great expectations, especially in an Original Six market. Throughout his 12-year NHL career, Lindholm has been revered for his well-rounded play, hockey IQ, and high-motor style.
Tampa Bay needs a robust system of public support for the arts
We used to assume that recognizing the importance of a strong arts scene to building a robust and sustainable local economy was a nonpartisan position. Unfortunately, as we've seen in recent developments at the county level and in Tallahassee, that's no longer the case. Our continued growth is contingent on providing the cultural experiences expected by the people who are moving to Tampa Bay.
Burke, Timothy v. Steve Towers Enterprises, LLC, a/k/a Steve Towers Holding, LLC, 2023 TN WC App. 51 – CourtListener.com
FILED Nov 15, 2023 07:55 AM(CT) TENNESSEE WORKERS' COMPENSATION APPEALS BOARD TENNESSEE BUREAU OF WORKERS’ COMPENSATION WORKERS’ COMPENSATION APPEALS BOARD Timothy Burke ) Docket No. 2022-06-0311 ) v. ) State File No. 55612-2021 ) Steve Towers Enterprises, LLC, a/k/a ) Steve Towers Holding, LLC, et al. ) ) ) Appeal from the Court of Workers’ ) Heard October 19, 2023 Compensation Claims ) via Microsoft Teams Kenneth M.
How to watch every college football game on TV (and what it costs)
This college football season marks the last chance to watch the sport’s traditional, regional conferences.
The radio station that hosts the Tampa Bay Lightning is also home to loads of vaccine and COVID-19 falsehoods
“Hockey’s really important to us, but what’s going on right now in this rink—people getting vaccinated—is even more important.
The radio station that hosts the Tampa Bay Lightning is also home to loads of vaccine and COVID-19 falsehoods
The likelihood you’ll land on anti-vaccination disinformation simply by tuning into the back-to-back and reigning Stanley Cup Champions’ radio flagship is extremely high.
Usain Bolt Is Still The Fastest Man Alive, Wins London Gold With New Olympic Record Of 9.63 Seconds
After cruising through his heat and the semis, Usain Bolt once again showed why he is the greatest sprinter in history by demolishing the 100 meter final with a new Olympic record of 9.63 seconds. The Jamaican beat out fellow countryman Yohan Blake, who took silver at 9.75, and American Justin Gatlin who will earn the bronze. A total of seven runners finished under ten seconds in what was just a ridiculous race, the fastest in history. [BBC] Update: Video removed by demand of IOC.
Here's An Easy Trick For Blocking All Bleacher Report Results From Your Google Searches [UPDATE]
We've all been there: Googling for news on, say, RGIII's knee only to find 873 SEO-optimized posts from Bleacher Report crowding out actual information. Posts like these: That's no good at all, and it's about to get much worse. Beginning in February, Bleacher Report, a recent Turner acquisition and a spam farm on its best days, will provide online sports content for CNN, a role that had long been filled by the network's distinguished corporate sibling, Sports Illustrated.
Reds Prospect Billy Hamilton's Legend Continued After Hitting This Inside-The-Park Homer
The story of this minor league season has been Reds shortstop prospect Billy Hamilton, who after stealing 104 bases in 82 games with the Bakersfield Blaze, earned a call-up to the AA Pensacola Blue Wahoos. (He also turned some heads during the All-Star Break Futures Game along the way.) It all pales when compared with this inside-the-park homer hit last night at home against the Jacksonville Suns, in which the speedster rounds the bases in just under 14 seconds.
Lionel Messi's Copa Del Rey Wondergoal, As Called Around The World
The undisputed highlight of the weekend is Lionel Messi’s brilliant goal to open the scoring against Athletic Bibao in Saturday’s Copa del Rey final. We brought you the play as called by ESPN Deportes; here’s a YouTube user who has collected 16 different worldwide commentaries to the play, perhaps the most memorable goal in an unforgettable season for Messi. To contact the author of this post, write to ) or find him on Twitter
Fake News - Sports News Headlines & Highlights
If you are like most NFL fans, you were surprised to learn on Facebook yesterday—or the day before that, or last …
Desperate Cubs Fan Resorts To In-Game Cannibalism
OM NOM NOM. We're guessing this gentleman isn't happy his lady is talking to a rival Cardinals fan. We've seen weirder at Wrigley Field, but seriously! Oh, and here's your GIF. [FSMW] h/t to Nick G/O Media may get a commission
Jerzy Janowicz Winning His Wimbledon Quarterfinal: An Awesome Moment
One thing was certain before today's Wimbledon quarterfinal between Jerzy Janowicz and Lukasz Kubot: Poland would have its first ever men's Grand Slam semifinalist. Janowicz claimed the spot with a straight sets win over his fellow countryman, and his ensuing reaction is everything we love about sports. Janowicz, playing in only his fifth Slam tournament, rode 30 aces to the win. Following match point, he embraced Kubot before swapping shirts with his opponent and collapsing into tears.
The WWE Needs Better Wardrobe People [NSFW]
The Bella Twins have apparently been part of WWE for almost seven years. You'd think in that time, they'd find outfits that don't leave nipples exposed for minutes at a time. That is, unless the slip was intentional. It wouldn't be fair to say I "watch" WWE Raw every week; it's on, but I'm rarely paying very close attention.
It Took Neymar Three Minutes To Open Confederations Cup Scoring
The Confederations Cup kicked off today in Brazil, and the hosts made a statement early as Neymar pounded in a long-distance volley to score on Japan only three minutes into the match. The striker brought a packed National Stadium in Brasília to its feet with a goal that should impress not only his fellow Brazilians but fans of Barcelona, the club he signed a long-term deal with earlier this month. It was a goal in no need of technology. Here's how viewers on Univisión heard it: [ESPN/Univisión]
Relive McKayla Maroney's Phenomenal Vault In Super-Slow Motion
While judges found room for deductions for which it seems nobody else can, McKayla Maroney's vault early in today's women's team gymnastics final was still strong enough to set an unstoppable pace that resulted in the United States taking gold. (It wasn't a surprise she nailed the vault, though, if you've been paying attention.) Take a look at this version and see if you can find what the judges did—we sure can't.
Stupidest Football Play In History Occurs As Player Returns Fumble 58 Yards In Wrong Direction Only To Have Opponents Tackle Him
This actually happened! Kent's Andre Parker recovered a blown punt return after the ball grazed a Towson player, only to return the recovered fumble toward his own goal. The only thing that stopped him from scoring a safety for Towson? Towson's punt return team, who foolishly tackled him before he could score them two points. This is a cornucopia of stupidity, but hey, it's opening day.
NBA Draft Spectators Spent Nearly Five Full Minutes Booing David Stern Last Night
The NBA is sometimes accused of being deaf to criticism, and holding last night's draft in the arena recently abandoned by the new Brooklyn Nets seems like an invitation to belligerence. But it's not just Nets fans who have beef with commissioner David Stern, and he hasn't exactly been graceful when dealing with the press, either. The result? Lots of booing every time Stern came up on stage to announce draft picks last night.
Not totally sure these two people know each other.
Not totally sure these two people know each other.
An Iroquois Lacrosse Squad Beat Team USA For The First Time Ever
In an upset that undoubtedly has laxbros crying into their Sperry Top-Siders, the Iroquois Nationals defeated Team USA at the U-19 World Championships in Finland today 15-13. It's the first time the Six Nations national team has beaten Team USA in field competition, and it's an especially meaningful win after the Iroquois Nationals were unable to attend the 2010 Worlds due to bureaucratic nonsense in the U.S. and U.K. state departments, forcing the team to forfeit the competition.
Lob City Anthem: All 91 Blake Griffin Dunks From The First Half Of The NBA Season In One Video
With a 20-12 record, the Los Angeles Clippers lead the division and with the addition of Chris Paul have finally established themselves as true NBA competitors. They've also earned the distinction of being must-see television for even casual basketball fans, and Blake Griffin is one big reason why. Griffin couldn't be cajoled into participating in the All-Star Weekend's dunk contest—even as reigning champion—but he's given us plenty to work with.
Nutshot Interrupts Michigan-Kansas Game Just As It Starts, Irritates Everyone
Finally, a newsletter that doesn't suck.
"I HOPE U ALL FUCKIN DIE" And Other Reasoned, Measured Responses To The NCAA's Penn State Punishment
The NCAA's announcement of penalties against Penn State football brought forth strong reactions—including our own—but none more, say, fervent than from those on social media. Here, then, are the most angry, sometimes regrettable, and generally depressing reactions from those on Twitter and Facebook. Special thanks to Twitter user @FanSince09 for compiling many of these.
Let's All Watch Marco Rubio's Panicked Drink Of Water In Extreme Slow Motion
It was the swig heard 'round the world. Florida senator Marco Rubio, tasked with delivering the official Republican response to President Obama's State of the Union address, found himself parched and distant from the necessary tool to quench that burning fire. In other words, he was thirsty. Usually in these situations, somebody takes care of actually getting some water within grasping distance of the speaker. Not so tonight, as Senator Rubio was forced to get it his own damn self.
David Stern Asked Jim Rome "Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife Yet?" As Today's Interview Turned Ugly
The Jim Rome Show turned awkward today as NBA commissioner David Stern lashed out at the show's host for asking whether the league's draft lottery was fixed, asking at one point, "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" It was a marked difference from the pair's usual collegial attitude displayed on Stern's regular appearances on the program. Stern and Rome debated the legitimacy of the question for several minutes in a heated exchange before Stern said "I have to go call someone important now.
New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change [UPDATE: A Bunch Of Other Teams Hacked Too]
It's gone now, but it seems the Yankees' Facebook was hacked just now as it posted this breaking news about Derek Jeter's upcoming sexual reassignment surgery. Congratulations to the hacker; we didn't even know they had the Internet in Boston.
Here's Video Of The Moment The Boston Marathon Bombs Exploded
It's very glitchy, but here's the moment the bombs exploded near the Boston Marathon finish line, from WBZ's camera mounted there. While the quality leaves a lot to be desired, it's the best shot we've seen so far of how and where the explosions occurred and how quickly first responders reacted to the event. Here's what ran on WHDH: (Video removed by request of CBS.
Ken "Hawk" Harrelson Melts Down After White Sox Pitcher Ejected For Throwing Behind A Batter
This week's Rays-White Sox series in St. Petersburg has been contentious after Chicago catcher A.J. Pierzynski's suspicious slide yesterday led to him being plunked by Rays pitcher Alex Cobb today. When Jose Quintana attempted to return the favor—or perhaps just send another message—to Tampa Bay's Ben Zobrist later in the game, umpire Mark Wegner got out his ejectin' thumb, sending White Sox announcer Ken "Hawk" Harrelson on another of his patented rants: What are you doing, Wegner?
Eli Manning's Facial Expressions Are America's Greatest Natural Resource
While Eli Manning eventually got the best of the 49ers in last night's NFC Championship game, it wasn't a jaunty romp for the Giants quarterback. This fourth quarter sack by San Francisco's Aldon Smith sent Manning through all five stages of the Kübler-Ross model in the span of a second. [Fox] This is a Deadspin Video, in which strange sports moments are slowed down to ridiculous speeds and matched with indie music. This video features "Things That Scare Me" by Neko Case. See previous episodes here.
This Interview With PGA Golfer Matt Every Is A Train Wreck
Matt Every leads the Sony Open in Hawaii by two strokes, but his play is being overshadowed by this bizarre interview with the Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman in which his 2010 arrest for marijuana possession (and subsequent suspension from the tour) is addressed. Every's defensiveness suggests he was taken by surprise by the question—which he then tried to clarify in the post-round press conference: I still hang out with the same people. I have great friends, man.
Lennay And Manti (And Ronaiah): A Love Story In Tweets
A quick primer to help you navigate this document. These are selected tweets from October 2011 to December 2012 for both Lennay Kekua, Manti Te'o's fake dead girlfriend, and Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, the man behind Manti Te'o's fake dead girlfriend. We also included tweets from other users to Lennay. These tweets come from a big cache provided to us by a source. We had assumed they were lost to cyberspace—the involved accounts have been deleted—but thankfully they lived on, somewhere.
Here's Everything The Media Screwed Up In Reporting The Story Of Manti Te'o's Fake Dead Girlfriend
In our investigation of Manti Te'o and his nonexistent dead girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, published yesterday, we mentioned the media's role this fall in amplifying the hoax. Here are all the ways they got the story wrong: When was Lennay Kekua born? Most sources reported she was 22. The Jan. 4 Goshen News says she was 21. Did Lennay Kekua attend Stanford? At least 10 print sources reported she was a Stanford student. The Oct. 12 South Bend Tribune and the Oct. 14 New York Times stated she was an alumna.
17 Sports Moments That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity
It's been a rough week in the sports world for those of us who put faith in our fellow man and woman. From NASCAR drivers' alleged bigotry, to NFL execs wanting to know if Manti Te'o is gay, to a youth hockey coach being sentenced for tripping a little kid, it's tough to look at the sports world and see much good out there. So here's a compilation video of 17 great, inspirational sports moments that will restore your faith in humanity. Have a great weekend, everyone.
A Very Confused Jim Nantz Insisted The Jets Beat The Patriots, Pulling Off Today's Biggest Upset
A Skyline Chili-sized brain fart exploded in the broadcast booth at Gillette Stadium tonight as CBS flagship announcer Jim Nantz, in the closing moments of New England's overtime win against the Jets, insisted New York were the winners in a "stunner" that was the biggest upset of the day. Indeed, New England (giving ten points) were the biggest favorites in the NFL today, but they didn't lose—a Mark Sanchez fumble in overtime handed them the slim victory.
Now There's Video Of The Allegedly "Super-Drunk" Red Wings Prospect Being Arrested In A Teletubby Costume
On Tuesday we told you about Red Wings prospect Riley Sheahan, whose alleged "super-drunk" driving antics whilst clad in Tinky Winky garb made him an internet sensation. There's now video of his arrest from a police officer's dash camera. While it's not especially interesting or compelling, there is something special about seeing a top-flight athlete being taken into custody while wearing the costume of a pee-wee kiddy TV character. Here, then, via Grand Rapids' WZZM: h/t to UnbrokenMirror
Vin Scully's Bowdlerized Translation Of Jim Tracy's Meltdown Tonight Is One Of Broadcasting's Great Moments
Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully is a national treasure for myriad reasons, but we saw just one facet of his abilities tonight, when umpires declared a liner off Shane Victorino's bat to have been trapped by Rockies center fielder Dexter Fowler. It would have been the third out of the inning, and it sent Colorado manager Jim Tracy on a verbal warpath—one Scully did his best to lipread, then translate into language for suitable for television.
Here's The Canadiens' Gary Carter Tribute That Didn't Air In The United States
For reasons that baffle the mind, NBC Sports Network elected not to show you this touching tribute to Gary Carter that preceded tonight's Devils-Canadiens game in Montreal. Carter—one of Montreal's true sports legends—was given a hero's au revoir that deserves to be seen by a wider audience, so here it is. [CBC]
Some Jackass Made Blowjob Pantomimes Behind Home Plate At Wrigley For Nearly An Inning Before Getting Ejected
Weather delayed last night's Pirates-Cubs bout at Wrigley Field for several hours, and by the end of the 3-0 Pittsburgh win there weren't many fans left in the stadium. There was, however, one guy who really wanted to get on TV making blowjob faces.
Who Hugged Roger Goodell Longest At Last Night's NFL Draft?
Photo: Gregory Payan (AP) Would you hug Roger Goodell? Is this a face that demands embrace? Probably not, assuming you’re not his spouse, or child, or one of the 32 men whose lifelong dreams of earning millions as a professional football player came true upon hearing the NFL commissioner read your name last night.
Last Night's SportsCenter Featured A Dwight Howard Story Plagiarized Word-For-Word From RealGM.com [UPDATE]
On last night's 10 p.m. SportsCenter, ESPN delivered "breaking news" about the Orlando Magic's desperate attempts to retain star Dwight Howard.
Ichiro's First At-Bat As A Yankee: A Double Bow To Mariners Fans, Followed By A Slap Single Up The Middle
It's a little weird to see Ichiro sporting a Yankee cap (especially the custom low-profile 5150 they seem to have given him) but how his first plate appearance for the Yankees went couldn't have been more predictable. And, yet, it was wonderful, as the veteran gave a respectful bow to both sides of the stadium then did what Mariners fans have seen 2,000-some times: slapped a ball up the middle for a single.
John Parr Updates His 1985 Hit "St. Elmo's Fire" For Tim Tebow
The song originally written to honor Canadian Paralympic hero Rick "Man In Motion" Hansen is now paying tribute to another athlete who's on a roll who's inspiring people worldwide.
ESPN Broke Its Own Record By Making 160 Tim Tebow References In One Hour Of SportsCenter. Here Are All Of Them.
The last time ESPN tried the stunt of dedicating an entire hour of SportsCenter to Tim Tebow, they managed a paltry 88 mentions of his name. The WWL went above and beyond in its 11 a.m. Eastern show, nearly doubling the instances in which they aired the Denver quarterback's name. For 48 minutes of programming, that works out to one "Tebow" every 18 seconds.
Today In LOLJets
Today in LOLJets, the New York Jets attempt a fake punt. Here's how it went:
‘Tiger Woods is Never Gonna Win Another Major’: The Experts Who Got It All Wrong
We’re almost sympathetic to the many, many sports mavens who predicted Tiger Woods’ career was over. After all, before he claimed Masters gold in Augusta on Sunday, he’d gone 11 years without a major title. Furthermore, the sports-media status quo demands hot takes and privileges, somehow, those who are the most wrong, the most often. We can still hold a few of them accountable, though.
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