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Articles by Chris Rio
The 5 Most Ridiculous Screw-Ups In Recent Medical History
Marketing departments have to work really hard to get those elusive millennials to buy their soda, or car, or cosmetic surgery. That's why Atlanta-based dermatologist Dr. Windell Boutte (pronounced, we're not joking, "boo-tay") decided to record rap videos advertising her service to the web. That's awkward, sure, but not illegal or anything... until she started using knocked-out patients as props.
6 Insane Holidays You'll Wish You Celebrated
In America, a holiday amounts to little more than a day off from work and a few quiet beers. It turns out that we're really dropping the ball when it comes to finding excuses to party like there's no tomorrow. We should take some lessons from how the rest of the world spends their day off from work, like ... Even if you don't celebrate Easter, you're at least familiar with it as the boring pseudo-Christmas that comes along in the first half of the year.
5 Famous Pro- And Anti-Trump Personalities With Shady Pasts
In the last couple of years, our screens have filled up with innumerable names and faces claiming to be able to make sense of the bizarro political situation we're in. Some are opposed to the current presidential administration, while others are helping to run it. But sometimes these pundits have pasts much more interesting and/or shadier than anything they're reporting. Take a look at how ...
Want to Write for Cracked? You Can Start Now (and Get Paid)
Let me tell you an inspiring story about me: Four years ago, I had completely given up on my lifelong dream of being a professional writer. I worked at a job I hated, lived in a city I hated, and collected food stamps because that job I hated didn't even pay a living wage. Then I clicked that link and joined the workshop, and over the next few years, the editors taught me everything I needed to know to build an entire career doing this stuff.
5 Common-Sense Dating Apps That Unbelievably Don't Exist
Using a dating app to meet someone is a bit like being Matt Damon in The Martian -- the marvels of modern technology got you here, but now your only chance for survival is your sense of humor and knowledge of potato trivia. Damon made it home, but we're not all NASA-trained botanists. Some of us need more help. Which is why I've come up with the following ideas for apps which would not only get you a date, but also make sure that it goes well.
Why The Viral 'I Left The Left' Is Based On B.S. Logic
If you've been keeping up with viral Facebook videos over the past couple days, you've probably seen this explanation of why one commentator "left the left" and became a conservative: I'll admit that when I saw the video's title, I was excited. After all, who has a better perspective on the political world than somebody who shifted from one side of the spectrum to the other? Who better to explain the subtle and surprisingly nuanced difference in values that divide our country?
Top 10 Weird (Niche) Magazines That Shouldn't Exist
Cable TV, the Internet, and print all enjoy the same advantage: being able to target insanely specific groups of people so they can sell ads to them. Due to this model, we undoubtedly end up with just the stupidest stuff imaginable exclusively tailored to crazy people, because unfortunately their money is just as good.
7 Movies Based On A True Story (That Are Full Of It)
When a movie uses the words "inspired by a true story," a lot of times they actually mean "sorta resembling something the screenwriter half-heard while snorting coke." We've established that pretty well by now. When it's a biographical movie, though, we assume they'll at least make sure to respect the spirit of the real person's life story -- otherwise, why bother?
6 Famous Documentaries That Were Shockingly Full of Crap
However, it turns out that some of the most acclaimed documentaries ever are about as real as Borat. On some level, we all know that almost everything we see at the movies is bullshit, from the amount of bullets a person can take without dying to what the job of pizza delivery boy actually entails. Except documentaries. Documentaries are where we turn off the snark and open our minds to learn about distant lands, alarming realities, and how much McDonald's a dude can eat.
6 Terrifying Ways Crows Are Way Smarter Than You Think
Mankind has a long and checkered past with crows and ravens: They have been feared as symbols of death , because they're all black and scary, revered as creators of the world because, well, it was either them or the seagulls, and worshiped as trickster gods, because of their baffling intelligence. Intelligent enough, in fact, for us to start worrying ... Next time you see a group of crows, look closely.
The 6 Most Certifiably Insane Acts of Writing
Continue Reading Below James Joyce was one of the most influential writers of the early 20th century. His most famous work, Ulysses, was a version of Homer's Odyssey, except that it took place in then-modern Dublin (even though most copies were seized and destroyed by American and English customs officers due to "obscenity"). "Me, obscene?
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