"So I walked into this normal everyday convenience store and said to Melania, 'Wow, look at this place. Lots of American snacks. Not Chinese snacks - great snacks, amazing snacks.' I picked up some chips, pretzels - you know - and I walked to the checkout counter. It was really a dirty, filthy place.
Dear City Council, My name is Michael Sullivan, and I own a beautiful 1943 M4 Sherman tank. My neighbors are complaining that it's "dangerous" or "it knocked a large tree into my living room," but it's basically just a large SUV ... albeit with a slingshot.