must have some sad sack back story (dead parents???) must be 7 feet tall (or close) must have a glass eye (preferably the left one) must be a drug dealer or have a brother who is (freebies) must be comfortable wearing only denim must reject all types of modern technology (phones, tv, dishwashers, etc.) must have a funny accent (Scottish OR Australian, not accepting any others at this current time) must know how to navigate the subways of ALL cities (except Dallas, never Texas) must be either...