Emma Chance

The original tradwives It’s May! We did it! Spring is here! The flowers are blooming! What did you get your mother for Mother’s Day? Has she read Yesteryear yet? If you’re unfamiliar, Caro Claire Burke’s satirical debut novel is about Natalie, a tradwife influencer who is pulled back in time to 1855, when she is forced to live the actual pioneer life she cosplays online. Would your mother like that?

The Taxing Merry-go-round I’m all for higher taxes on millionaires. Because I’m not a millionaire. I’m also for higher taxes on exorcists. Because I’m not one of those, either. Furthermore, they can tax the shit out of competitive eaters, flash-mob organizers or underwear models, because I don’t expect to earn a cent in any of those occupations. Like most people, I’m in favor of tax increases on everyone who meets one simple criterion: They aren’t me. That’s hardly the limit of my selfishness.

Homecoming Queen As I approach the turn for the hotel parking lot on Commercial Street, I stop – not because the entry is barred but because, you see, Elizabeth Peavey still does not pay for parking in Portland. “Did the reservations show if parking was included?” I demand of my friend, who is visiting from England and whom I’ve not spent time with since “Stray Cat Strut” was in the Top 40.