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@GideonResnick — 30,185 followers, 49,380 tweets

Jul 23, 2017

"This is the single greatest witch hunt in American history," I say as the Jewel-Osco cashier chases me down the block for stealing meatloaf

Jul 22, 2017

Managed to avoid knowing who jake paul is which i think is a positive development

Jul 22, 2017

"Mind your own blanket fort" is truly one of the best phrases ever said on here https://t.co/bEIcdwT1zE

Jul 22, 2017

Looking forward to the charlie sheen 9/11 movie winning best picture

Jul 22, 2017

Excited to see what Spicer's pivot to video portends

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