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Articles by Gracie Eppler
A midwestern Catholic’s guide to a subpar Lent
In a land called Uz, there was this guy called Job, and Job dealt with a crap-ton of crap. All the living things around him (his camels, his crops, his daughters …) started to die. And all the things around him that most certainly shouldn't have been alive started to fester and curdle (i.e. – the boils on his feet). Satan literally smote him. But somehow, after all that smiting, Job did not curse the Lord.
Regretfully, February
We regret to inform you that, despite our best efforts, February has come again. February is the Coldplay of all months. If it had a flavor, it would be Panera bread’s tortilla soup. If it had a scent, it would be the musk of the library’s untouched seventh-floor Medieval texts. If it were a Kardashian, it would be Kendall. It is tasteless and bleak, without glamour or ambition. February, at least, does not try to be something it is not.
How to speak billionaire
In November, Senator Bernie Sanders wrote that the Democratic Party had “abandoned working class people,” and that because of this, “it should come as no great surprise that … the working class has abandoned them.” The results of the 2024 election proved that Americans are shifting away from the left. But if today’s Republicanism is supposedly aligned with the ideals of the average American, why is it supported by the three richest men in America?
Do you like us now?
In December of 2021, I posted my first college “photo dump” on Instagram: a collection of scenes from across campus, all adorned with a backdrop of fall foliage and of course, featuring several pictures of the golden dome. A friend from home commented: “WOW, do you go to Notre Dame?” The remark immediately received dozens of likes from several other hometown friends. What they saw was a few pretty pictures of a wooded quad, a gilded edifice and a couple run-of-the-mill tailgates.
The AirPod experience
Are Americans incapable of sitting in silence? My AirPods broke for the five millionth time last Tuesday. I headed to the Apple store with a heart full of hope and a dream, only to have my soul crushed by a balding Genius Bar worker who demanded I buy a new pair (because mine were more broken than a New Year’s resolution in April). Replacing Apple products is an expensive and exhausting operation.
Why social media is ruining our country’s discourse
When BeReal first took off my freshman year, I knew it was never going to last. My cynicism was encouraged by a clear understanding of what young adults actually use social media for — to gloat. The idea of the 2021 platform, BeReal, was to transform social media from a source of materialistic and often fabricated posts to an outlet for genuine connection. At a random point during the day, a notification would pop up telling users to snap a quick picture of what they were up to.
Choose hard
There is nothing better than a close parking spot, at least, according to my mother. My dad’s opinion is so plainly contradictory that it really makes you believe in the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing: if presented with the option of a close parking spot or the farthest one at the edge of the lot, take the far one to maximize your daily step count. The minor additional exercise each day can lead to a notable physical change for the better.
The art of adulting
In August, I started drinking oat milk. Sometimes I listen to jazz. Other times, ‘70s yacht rock, but never today’s top hits. Gone are the days when I’d allow myself to listen to today’s top hits. I drink rosé out of tastefully procured antique glasses (oh yeah, I go antiquing now). I like to peruse aisles and point at ugly ceramics and say, “Wouldn’t that look amazing with our backsplash?” (because I totally know what a backsplash is).
The Ugly Truth?
We English majors confront this certain truth on the regular: there are only seven original stories … which means that the one you’re writing has already been written. According to Christopher Booker’s theory, every TV show, Broadway musical, Netflix rom-com, AP-Lit requirement or Taylor Swift music video all stem from just seven basic plots.
An Irish blessing
It’s never easy getting old. My recently graduated friend has been bombarded with an endless stream of inquisitors who insistently ask: “How are you doing?” Her reply is always: “I’m not dying.” And yet, as my final year looms closer, the reality of my dwindling time and my inescapable graduation sometimes makes me feel like I am, in fact, dying. Late in spring semester, we extended our palms over the Flaherty senior class of 2024.
Are you smarter than an AI?
Let us be honest with ourselves. It’s late April. Assignments are piling up. Our group project members are slacking off. In the gloom of impending exams shines a glimmer of hope: our good friend, ChatGPT. In many of my Business Analytics classes, the use of AI is encouraged to provide insights and check our code. But ChatGPT is the enemy of the creative. Artificial Intelligence makes a mockery of art.
The beauty of poetry's stupidity
Shakespeare once wrote, “Poetry is like a boundless sea / wherein the soul doth sail.” But actually, he really didn’t … I did, just now. Maybe some of you literature nerds caught this, but others of you were convinced. You were convinced that Shakespeare really did write something about poetry being a sea, and since he wrote it, then it must be “good” poetry. I’m here to tell you that there is no such thing as “good” poetry. As an English major, I’ve been force-fed Elliot and Dante and Dickinson.
Should we boycott boy Mass?
My sister got sent to detention once in her life, and it was for wearing a sweatshirt. No, it didn’t have any obscene language or political statements, but it did have the name of our all-boys brother school written in fat white letters across the front. My mom, two of my older sisters and I all attended the same all-girls Catholic high school in St. Louis. Some of its more infamous rules included: 1. Please brush your hair before the photographer shows up. 2.
Be proud of your low Uber rating
Out of all the places to be, seat 36B on a Spirit Airlines flight is one of the more unpleasant. There are other contributing factors which could increase this displeasure. Say, for example, if said flight was to take off from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And if the flight followed a seven-hour layover in a Starbucks-void terminal. But to truly maximize displeasure, this flight would have to follow a 48-day bender of action-packed Mardi Gras events in New Orleans.
The essence of a spoon: My coming of age, as told by a utensil
You’d be sorely mistaken if you thought spoons were only supposed to be used for soup. Spoons scoop. They scoop salads, salsas and salamis. They pile up rice and deposit mounds of decadent cake upon an awaiting tongue. They’re resourceful. They’re convenient. And up until the seventh grade, they were as routine to me as a toothbrush. Filipinos don’t use chopsticks. Gathering up piles of longganisa, adobo and halo-halo becomes infinitely easier when you have something to shovel it up.
Love affairs of the stomach
- The Observer is a student-run, daily print & online newspaper serving Notre Dame, Saint Mary's & Holy Cross. Learn about us. - I fell in love four times last semester. My friends and I guzzled down pastas and curries and minced meats and pies while visiting museums and ancient ruins and palaces and clubs. But there were four particular meals that truly captured my heart — and my stomach. 1. Puppy Love I arrived in Dublin, wide-eyed and clutching my money wallet close.
The betweens // The Observer
I used to be a good reader. I think most people expect me to be now. But admittedly, though I love to read, I’m not good at it anymore. The nightstand near my bed is piled high with novels I promise to one day finish. A friend asks if I’ve read “Fahrenheit 451,” “Malibu Rising” or “The Brothers Karamazov.” I say I haven’t gotten to it yet. Another asks if I’ve seen “Whiplash” or “New Girl” yet, and I assure her it’s next on my list.
Everyday desensitization
Piled up upon a foot of snow, a lonely Grubhub delivery robot sits, frozen and helpless. Cara and I are quick to run to its side. We crouch in the chilled night air, teaming up with a random student passing by, all of us dusted by the still-falling snow and laughing at the absurdity of the situation. But the robot proves to be much too heavy for three young girls to carry. And so, we leave it behind, deserted in a pile of ice.
Stop South Bend slander
Corn, soy, cows, semi-trucks. Corn, soy… oh, and occasionally, more corn. This describes the grey and unstimulating drive across America’s heartlands that I took this weekend as I made the trek from South Bend down to Urbana-Champaign to visit a friend. Flat, dry and littered with the occasional gas-station-McDonald’s crossover, the drive made me reaffirm every negative stereotype I’d come across about the Midwest. “Notre Dame, right?
I’m anti the ‘Notre Dame Introduction’ and you should be too
Anyone is welcome to submit Letters to the Editor, guest columns, quotes, cartoons, comic strips and poems to the Viewpoint Department of The Observer. Items submitted by members of the Notre Dame, Saint Mary’s and Holy Cross community will be given preference for publication. The opinions expressed in the Viewpoint section are not necessarily those of The Observer. Columns, Letters to the Editor, poems, comic strips, cartoons and quotes are commentaries.
UndocuAlly to host training to support undocumented students
As a continuation of Notre Dame’s Walk the Walk Week, student group UndocuAlly ND will host a training session on Tuesday. The campus-wide event is open to anyone who wishes to better understand the immigrant experience and learn how to support undocumented students. Walk the Walk Week aims to inspire a stronger, more welcoming community on campus.
Study finds Notre Dame football to have second largest fanbase in nation
Despite an undergraduate student population far smaller than that of other traditional college football powerhouses, a study from this past summer found Notre Dame to have the second largest fanbase in college football at an estimated 8.21 million. The study, put together by strategy consultant Tony Altimore at Altimore Collins & Company, ranked the top-16 largest college football fanbases. It found Ohio State to have the largest fanbase in the country at 11.26 million fans.
Way beyond too late
Anyone is welcome to submit Letters to the Editor, guest columns, quotes, cartoons, comic strips and poems to the Viewpoint Department of The Observer. Items submitted by members of the Notre Dame, Saint Mary’s and Holy Cross community will be given preference for publication. The opinions expressed in the Viewpoint section are not necessarily those of The Observer. Columns, Letters to the Editor, poems, comic strips, cartoons and quotes are commentaries.
Notre Dame announces three new research grants with Ukrainian Catholic University
Notre Dame is launching three new collaborative grants with the Ukrainian Catholic University (UCU) that expand the active partnership between the two schools, according to a University press release. The main goal of the new grants are to “offer academic and educational continuity … in a place where people are undergoing so much national and personal trauma,” director of faculty engagement Geraldine Meehan said.
Sr. Helen Prejean discusses wrongful convictions, death penalty
On Friday, Sr. Helen Prejean participated in a fireside chat hosted by the Notre Dame Law School Exoneration Justice Clinic and the Klau Institute for Civil and Human Rights. The fireside chat was moderated by dean and professor of law G. Marcus Cole in the Eck Visitors’ Center. Prejean said she believes that all humans, even those who have committed terrible crimes, have an inviolable dignity.
Scene Selections: Summer reading
IMAGE SOURCES: BBC, LES ARGONAUTES When’s the last time you read for fun? Yeah. That’s what we thought. But when finals are over and the dust settles, $cene hopes you pick up some summer reading. “I am the Messenger” by Markus Zusak Claire Lyons, Interim Scene Editor Imagine “Taxi Driver,” except it’s wildly optimistic and made in Australia. The premise is hilarious: 19-year-old underage cab driver Ed Kennedy accidentally stops a bank robbery and unwittingly becomes his small town’s vigilante hero.
Brothers on and off the ice: Slaggerts, Janickes join history of Notre Dame hockey siblings
On the way to preschool, the Janicke family car blasted the Notre Dame fight song on repeat. A love for Irish hockey was ingrained in the two Janicke brothers’ heads since before they were even old enough to pick up a stick. Eight hours away, the Slaggert brothers jammed along to the same melody with similar visions of one day joining the Notre Dame hockey roster. Two pairs of brothers, four different jerseys, one Notre Dame Hockey Team.
Notre Dame first-years voice support for Martin Luther King Jr. Day observance
For the first time in its history, Notre Dame observed Martin Luther King Jr. Day as a University holiday, which also marked the beginning of the University’s annual Walk the Walk Week. The Observer asked the first-year class about their understanding of Martin Luther King Jr. Day and their thoughts on the University’s unprecedented observance. “Having this day without classes is not merely an extra day to sleep in or get more work done,” first-year Kathryn Sherman said.
‘Stigma is sticky’: Anna Haskins concludes ‘Building an Anti-Racist Vocabulary’ series
Professor Anna Haskins has come to many conclusions during her extensive research on social inequality — primarily that “stigma is sticky.” “An individual can be stigmatized, but this stigma doesn’t stay in one place,” Haskins said. “Stigma spreads.” Haskins is an Andrew V.
St. Joe’s new library is a modern-day utopia
Grandma pulled up in her grey Toyota, the letters “BKS4ME” etched across her license plate. As my neighbors and I loaded into her backseat in our plaid uniforms, she handed us each a baggie of apple slices and a book to read. “God’s Mailbox,” “A Series of Unfortunate Events,” or something a little more mature for the older kids like “The Giver” — the list goes on and on as Grandma produced an infinite amount of literature to keep us preoccupied on the short ride home.
'Beyond the Border' series concludes with focus on action // The Observer
While the first two installments of ThinkND’s “Beyond the Border” series focused on why people migrate, the series concluded Wednesday with a third and final panel session that highlighted what steps citizens and organizations can take to make immigration safer.
St. Francis of Assisi Week to celebrate patron saint of ecology, promote environmental causes
This week, a number of events will be held around campus in honor of the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi and to raise awareness about climate change. While the Feast of St. Francis is usually commemorated by a special mass at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart, this year’s Mass is just the starting point.
Snite sculpture contemplates environmental crisis facing today’s youth
Yinka Shonibare’s sculpture “Earth Kid (Boy)” depicts a young boy dealing with climate change. The piece is currently on display at the Snite Museum of Art and goes hand in hand with the 2021 Notre Dame Forum on sustainability. Shonibare’s sculpture stands at about 5 feet tall and illustrates a boy carrying a net on his hunched back. The net is filled with plastic waste, rubber gloves, crushed bottles and other non-recyclable trash.
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