“Are you all ready for the most epic party in all of American history?” asked Monica Crowley, the U.S. government’s protocol chief, from a podium on a towering stage set gracelessly in the middle of the National Mall in Washington, D.C. Hell — we sure are. Better than Mardi Gras? Better than Woodstock? Better than the Boston Tea Party, Burning Man, or Freaknik? Sounds good. America has had a tough few years. We’ve made it to our 250th anniversary. We deserve a reward. We are ready to party.