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Articles by Isaac Cabe
55 Movies That Were A Nightmare Behind The Scenes
Making a movie isn't always as simple as pressing "Record" and watching magic happen, despite what a bunch of iPhone commercials and teenagers on TikTok would have you believe. With great budgets come great responsibility, and few people are as wildly irresponsible as filmmakers. 1. The 2013 Evil Dead remake did a noble thing by rejecting the use of CGI. However, all the practical effects made it so that, in practice, the actors were tortured.
55 Dumbass Movie Decisions We Almost Got
Movies go through rewrites, and changes like beavers go through trees en route to building something glorious. That doesn't mean we can't take a look at the scraps and gape in shock and awe. 1. Rocky almost threw his fight to Apollo Creed on purpose and would've taken his winnings to help Adrian open up a pet shop of her own. Obviously, there was way more money in Rocky winning and a bunch of sequels, so that's the reality we got. 2.
Nobody Knows How Wildfire Season Is Gonna Go
Almost like clockwork, every summer sees new disasters. Hurricanes come up the East Coast, while large swaths of the West Coast just kinda catch fire. Each year it seems new records for tragedy are broken, and it takes bravery beyond belief for emergency responders to save the lives they can. It takes a ton of hard work and preparation to be ready to come in during a disaster like a wildfire, and this year looks to be a Mount Everest-sized shit pile.
How Is KFC So Late To The Chicken Sandwich Wars?
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PETA Is Protesting Soulless, Video Game Fish Now
As I wrote about just a few weeks ago, PETA accidentally stumbled ass-backward into the most challenging way to play Animal Crossing -- tackling the entire animal-centric game as a vegan, depriving yourself of many of the most rudimentary means of advancing in the game and a whole bunch of the game's internal rewards. This, however, might have been giving that festering molar cavity of an organization a little too much credit.
Don't Abuse The 'IsOverParty' Twitter Trend, We Need It
A whole lot of us are spending more and more time on Twitter during all this. Like above and beyond the "way too damn much" total we previously were. And because we can't really get out and live our own lives, we're living vicariously through the tweets of the people we follow. What that's turned into is a bunch of people becoming PIs, digging up dirt on famous people, and constructing a hashtag stylized as #[name]isoverparty. Then they're off to the races as a trending topic.
The Future Of Concerts Is Suiting Up For Raves
There's only so many goddamn "concerts from the living room" we can take anymore. Every day we're getting new ones, and I'm already following the artists I'm into on social media, please don't shove more into my face. It's overwhelming. Plus, the reason people go to concerts in the first place is to get absolutely lit, and that's hard to do when your roommate has a conference call, and your neighbors will complain on NextDoor. So lo and behold, the future of concerts.
'Tuca & Bertie' Is Back, And That's A Win For Everybody
It's been almost a year since Netflix made the stunning decision not to bring Tuca & Bertie back for a second season. Which was a total stomach punch since the show's first season is so, so good: Continue Reading Below While it draws obvious comparisons to Bojack Horseman, which showrunner Lisa Hanawalt also worked on, it stands out spectacularly on its own.
A Michigan Dam Burst, Can We Finally Tackle Infrastructure Now?
Earlier this week, the Edenville and Sanford Dams, just a couple hours' drive north of Detroit, had what the National Weather Service called "catastrophic failures." To put it kindly, it's a beaver's worst nightmare. It's literally a record-breaking flood in terms of water height, which isn't good. 10,000 people are being evacuated, and water levels are still slowly rising. What sucks, in particular, is that this was preventable.
Nobody Needs A 10-hour Tom Brady Documentary
America just got done with watching The Last Dance, which is probably going to be the definitive Michael Jordan docu-series (until Jordan finds another time he needs to one-up LeBron James). And before we could even have just a few minutes to come down from the Air Jordan high, we got this stupid announcement.
Don't Be Cheap On This, Hollywood. No One Should Get Sick Making A Movie.
The continually-updating guidelines we see about social distancing aren't going away anytime soon, and there are just some environments that are never going to go back to the way they were. Among those are definitely film sets, and with good reason. Let's just say buffet-style craft services tables are the least of the worries. Movie sets, for starters, are pretty gross. We've written over and over again about it, and the stories keep getting nastier -- and that's the stuff they're doing on purpose.
Aunt Becky's Prison Sentence Is Actually The Perfect Finesse Move
For everyone who isn't up to speed on why Lori Laughlin, aka Full House's Aunt Becky, is in a world of trouble, let's catch you up real quick. She and her husband Mossimo Giannulli put together fake (like, really, really fake) profiles of their Instagram influencer children as rowers so that they could be admitted to the University of Spoiled Children Southern California as "athletes." They almost got away with it, but instead, face federal charges.
It's Super Bizarre To Finish Live TV Episodes With Animation
NBC's The Blacklist is a perfect James Spader vehicle, in that it was super exciting and shiny and new when it came on the scene, but is now pretty much mostly enjoyed exclusively by dads. The Season 7 finale aired on Friday, and like many shows, its production was interrupted by the coronavirus. Unlike many shows, however, it decided to address this head-on by breaking the fourth wall mere minutes into the episode.
The List Of Big Companies Getting Clobbered During This Keeps Growing
Bankruptcies are just going to happen more and more because of this global shutdown, and every one of them hurts. Plenty of Mom & Pop places and other small businesses can't remain open, and even larger companies will take some nasty hits too. And while bankruptcy isn't necessarily the end of a business, it rings some alarm bells. Let's take a look at some of the companies for whom the bell tolls.
Trump Taking Poison Is Like Shakespeare Gone Bad
Recently, the President of the United States, in the midst of a global pandemic, just admitted to the world that he's been taking hydroxychloroquine for the past week and a half. Reactions have been, to put it mildly, mixed. The leader of the free world is effectively poisoning himself. This is a guy in his mid-70s who's already not in the best shape, and this is a drug that has been shown to make people sick when they don't have malaria and lupus, the diseases it's actually meant to help.
Incel-Motivated Murder Is Now Officially Terrorism
Back in February, a 17-year-old incel in Toronto fatally stabbed 24-year-old Ashley Arzaga with a machete. As you might expect, this prompted a first-degree murder charge. Then, we got this: While it might seem obvious just from the phrase "first-degree murder," not all murder cases are equal under the law.
Stranded Cruise Ship Employees Are Living In A Horror Movie
Do you remember watching Titanic and thinking about how, as the boat sank, we'd all spent entirely too much time on this godforsaken boat with the characters? That was only like three hours. A couple of news cycles have gone by since we last heard about corona cruise ships having difficulty docking and letting their passengers go home. But, it's slowly dawning on us that there are cruise ship workers still onboard these things who can't get home despite being two months into this crisis.
A 'SpongeBob' Prequel Series Sounds Terrible On All Fronts
SpongeBob SquarePants is a beloved show that was ostensibly for children when it was first released -- oh God, over 20 years ago? -- and has held up remarkably well as we all grew up. SpongeBob is an underemployed guy who doesn't own a vehicle, lives alone, and has never had romantic prospects, loves his cat-like pet snail, and his favorite hobby is fishing. Despite all that, he still largely maintains an upbeat, positive attitude about life and cares deeply about just about everything.
Lena Dunham Once Again Doesn't Understand Reality
Just when you thought she'd withered up and blown away into the Brooklyn ether, Lena Dunham appeared to talk to Andy Cohen on his show, Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. The show went about as well as one could hope until this happened. To recap for you in case your ears started to fold in on themselves, Lena Dunham cut off singer Dua Lipa's response to a question about poppers to interject with what's clearly a lie about herself.
Rad Teen Invents News Way To Fight Virus, Turns Down Buckets Of Cash
Most of Gen Z is having a pretty rough go of this pandemic -- graduations and dances and other social events are canceled, college plans are on hold, and worst of all, grownups are learning TikTok. But for 17-year-old Avi Schiffman up in Washington State, it's been a chance to show the world what using your powers for good looks like. He built one of the most-visited coronavirus tracking programs in the world, found at https://ncov2019.live, and then he did this.
Tekashi 6ix9ine Is Beefing With Tom Hanks' Son Now
For just the briefest bit of background, Tekashi 6ix9ine, or just 6ix9ine, is the stage name of a guy named Daniel Hernandez, who is a walking Voltron of the worst aspects of SoundCloud rap. He's also a gross criminal, who's been charged with everything from sex crimes with a minor to what actually got him sent to prison, which was a series of gang-related charges such as racketeering and conspiracy to murder. 6ix9nie got off light by snitching on nearly every person recorded history.
Lilly Wachowski Blasts Elon Musk 'Red Pill' Tweet
Over the weekend, Twitter was greeted to this exchange between Elon Musk, Ivanka Trump, and Matrix co-creator Lilly Wachowski that nobody could've seen coming, but was simultaneously super predictable. The entire concept of "the red pill" has been co-opted by so many different terrible people and groups around the internet that it's worth asking, with a straight face: did all of these people watch a different movie?
The Senate's Two Biggest Trash Boys Could Lose This November
Nearly every politician ever to enter Congress has a case for being bad at their job. But two of the absolute worst are the heavy-hitters of the Republican Party, Mitch McConnell of Kentucky and Lindsey Graham of South Carolina. McConnell spent the Obama administration being more obstructionist than the three weeks of lockdown Hot Pockets sitting in your colon, while Graham is essentially President Trump's footstool.
A 'Furiosa' Prequel Sounds Like A Bad Idea, Start To Finish
Mad Max: Fury Road was one of the most epic movies of the past decade, maybe ever. Sprawling apocalyptic wastelands, crazy-looking rusted war vehicles, and also messaging about caring for society in the wake of untold tragedy? Yeah, sign us up. But director George Miller has had another idea up his sleeve for the Mad Max franchise since before Fury Road -- a prequel focused on the heroine Furiosa. This sounds about as good of an idea as making a prequel to Magic Mike.
Cancel Student Loan Debt, You Cowards.
What a tease the federal government is. I'm like a dog who thinks the ball probably got thrown but knows deep down you just hid it behind your back. I can't help but want to trust, but they've broken me. And then -- Could they really be considering it? Yeah, they really did bring my interest rates down to zero. How very kind. Continue Reading Below That's not even all my loans.
Hayao Miyazaki Has Turned Into Anime James Cameron With The Delays On His Last Film
Hayao Miyazaki is the mind behind some of the most beautiful and enchanting animated films ever made, from Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke to Kiki's Delivery Service and My Neighbor Totoro. Timeless and classic films that will live on long past Miyazaki, who is currently *checks a calendar* pretty dang old. And when The Wind Rises came out in 2013, it was largely assumed that he was retiring. It was such a good film to end on.
Clarence Thomas Finally Speaks, And It's About 'Lord of the Rings'
The Supreme Court, being the most supreme of the courts in America, is still hearing cases that are of national importance. They just can't meet in person because most of them are super old and, therefore, at high risk for the novel coronavirus. So for the first time in history, they're having oral arguments and such via teleconference. This is actually kind of a huge deal. They've resisted cameras and media in the courtroom for the sake of decorum for forever.
Sex Work Is A Thing In 'Animal Crossing'
By now, you've probably seen a couple of quality memes about what the best way to pay off your debts to raccoon tycoon Tom Nook. If not, please enjoy this old standard. As it turns out, there's plenty of room for sex work in Animal Crossing -- just ask Denali Winter. They're a nonbinary hairdresser and sex worker; two professions hit as hard as anything during this shitstorm.
The 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt' Special Finally Gets 'Choose Your Own Adventure' TV Right
Netflix just released an Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt interactive special that's been in the works since the actual series ended last year. This was the latest in a line of interactive episodes from Netflix, including Black Mirror: Bandersnatch and that one where you kinda get to pick the gross or dangerous thing Bear Grylls has to do.
A Hacker Took On Unemployment Snitches (And Is Winning)
"Unemployment fraud" has been a right-wing boogeyman since the first caveman got mad at another caveman for hunting less after sustaining an injury from a mammoth. Oog. Even during a global pandemic, state governments such as Ohio are putting together systems in which employers can report employees who are choosing not to go to work and choosing safety over potential exposure. In the minds of some, if you weren't laid off "the right way," you shouldn't be able to keep a roof over your head.
Voting By Mail Should Be The Norm Come November
California Governor Gavin Newsom just passed a large measure that will ensure every registered voter in the state gets a ballot in the mail for the November election. This will make them the first state to make it an automatic mailing in light of the coronavirus pandemic. It won't replace in-person voting, but it should ultimately make things both easier and safer when the time comes.
The Future Of College Is What, Exactly?
One of the really neat things about college is that there's really no one, single, correct way to go through it. If you want to freebase coffee grounds to get through an 8:00 a.m. statistics class 3 days a week, that's your choice. It's all part of becoming an adult, and you're there to learn how to learn, man.
Let's Not Be The Worst Versions Of Ourselves Outdoors
How many "nature is returning to its natural state" and "it's almost like we were the virus" memes have we seen floating around lately? Enough, surely. The problem is that memes aside, nature's "return to natural" state seems to be a beautiful thing, like bears running around Yosemite or whatever, while humanity's natural state seems to be garbage. It's literal garbage too -- people just left over 13,000 pounds of it on Cocoa Beach in Florida.
'Tony Hawk' Is Still Punk Enough To Reboot Without Microtransactions
In a nostalgia-fueled move from a 50-year-old skater who can still shred better than half the wannabe teenagers in San Diego, it looks like coming this September, the first two games from the Tony Hawk video game series are getting a remastering. The games were totally sick, and while it would've been easy to design them so that they were nothing more than a series full of situations forcing you to button mash until you hit a trick, they ended up being so much more.
Study: Hey, Maybe Universal Basic Income Isn't The Worst Idea Ever
The idea of a "Universal Basic Income," or as the Yang Gang called it, a "Freedom Dividend," is a pretty nifty idea. Everybody would have some basic income floor to pay for basic necessities, and then people are free to work as they're able to up on top of that. Sound like something people might be clamoring for right about now? We've got a country that's demanding to go back to work but can't, and everybody's still got bills to pay regardless of their ability to work.
Pandemic Robots Are Now Patroling Singapore Like A 'Black Mirror' Episode
Laws exist to keep society functioning and moving forward, and you can make the case that during a pandemic, they're more important than ever. In the US, while we've been very heavily advised not to go wandering around and breathing too close to other people, the police have been able to get away with a largely-casual attitude encouraging people to maintain some social distance. Not so in Singapore. Behold.
Hmm, Have You Noticed Robocallers Have Been Slowing Down Lately?
"Hel-lo. This is vi-sah master-CARD SERvi--" is really the most any of us need to hear before hanging right the hell up on yet another robocall. Some people even conveniently have services installed on their phones that preemptively flag spam. But lately, you might have noticed a bit of a reduction in the number of robocalls interrupting all the nothing everyone's been doing all day. That's right -- the months of March and April saw the lowest volume of robocalls in what seems like forever.
Why Would Anyone Reboot 'National Treasure'?
National Treasure is a movie often held up as an example of a "smart" Nic Cage vehicle, even though it's essentially The Da Vinci Code without Tom Hanks' hair. Well, not only will there be a National Treasure 3 starring Cage, but there's also gonna be a National Treasure TV series for Disney+. According to producer Jerry Bruckheimer, the series will pivot away from Cage -- it'll be the same concept, but with a younger cast. This leaves us with several questions.
Paparazzi Are Somehow Even More Useless Now
The garbage people who run around taking quick trash photographs of famous people in public don't have the greatest reputation. It's seen as unethical and unskilled -- mostly because it is. There are teenagers out there taking better pictures with their iPhones than the stuff that gets slapped on the front page of grocery store tabloids. But now, during a pandemic?
Celebrity Pets Are Hanging On By A Thread
We've covered how the rich and famous are slowly losing their minds during quarantine. For the average person, a good pet is a source of emotional support. Famous peoples' pets, however, are starting to do double-duty managing a new kind of crazy in the house. Take, for example, Chris Evans' poor dog Dodger's haircut. How do you shave a bald patch that bad in there? That's not the head of a 16th-century monk, that's a dog's shoulder.
Disneyland Shanghai's Reopening Is A Sad Look At The Future Of Vacations
Continue Reading Below Disney parks already allow their prices to fluctuate based on demand, and it's a safe bet they will go up because, with attendance caps, the profit's gotta come from somewhere. Sadly, this means there's a fairly large segment of the population that may just get priced out of Disney parks entirely.
The Historical Bond That Ireland And Native Americans Have Is Helping Out Big Time Ri
Recently, the deep need for relief from the effects of the coronavirus in Native American communities began to make itself known outside the reservations across North America. Notably, a GoFundMe was set up for the Navajo and Hopi peoples that, at the time of this writing, was about to break $3 million -- in large part, thanks to ... Ireland?
Custom Genitals In The New Keanu Reeves Video Game Is Improving Gaming For The Better
The long-awaited Keanu Reeves-fronted game Cyberpunk 2077 just received its ESRB rating, and predictably, it's M for Mature. No surprises there. But it's the explanation of the rating that's raising a couple of eyebrows -- namely, that you can customize your character's genitals. On the surface, it's easy to just dismiss this as being another feature for pervy gamers out there. But, truthfully, it's a monumental moment for gaming, not only as an art form but on the grounds of social progress.
Mississippi Blew Money For The Poor On Brett Favre And Pro Wrestlers
There's been a lot in the news lately about bailouts, what kind of oversight there should be, and how best to get financial help to the American people. And, as a recent report shows, it might be best if Mississippi got a little extra scoop of oversight on their piggy bank because they seem to have chucked their coins at native son Brett Favre for nothing.
Don't Let 'Big Meat' Freak You Out Over Shortages
A whole lot of meat-eaters out there are getting a little worried lately. Supermarkets are limiting how much meat you can purchase at once. Wendy's is now removing beef from its menus in some places. Tyson has a big ol' blog post about how they're worried about a meat shortage, and it prompted the White House to mandate that meatpacking plants stay open, despite the awful conditions and chance of getting sick inside.
Baller Move: Five Year Old Pulled Over En Route To Buy Lambo
Every kid had their dream car growing up. For some, it was a Batmobile. For others, it was the muscle car their uncle was fixing up in his garage. And for this absolute baller of a five-year-old kid, it's a Lamborghini. He was so ready to buy one that he ran away from home, stole his mom's SUV, and drove off for California -- famously the home of all Lamborghinis.
A Cracked Primer On That Murder Hornet
Continue Reading Below Peterson's arm swelled up like steroid-era baseball player on Viagra, and the effects lasted far too long for anyone to be comfortable with. There's also a video of one of these things completely subduing and murdering a mouse in less than a minute (NSFW). In 2013, murder hornets sent over 200 people in China to the hospital and killed 41 of them. Their stingers are about 6 mm in length, a little less than the fingernail on your pointer finger, and can sting through kevlar.
Billie Eilish Is What Fashion Will Be For A Long Time
One of the cool things about Billie Eilish is that even though there are a bajillion scenes, she'd have fit into perfectly in any previous decade -- music, fashion, and otherwise -- she's still very much her own person. She'll dress like Shego from Kim Possible or a character in a Ryan Murphy show or like a substitute Nirvana singer, and yet somehow still be totally herself. However, one common thread in her outfits is that they are baggy enough to fit three other Eilishes (Eilishi?) in there.
Why Aren't More Tech People Like 'MySpace Tom'?
As life-changing as technology has been over the years, what really ropes people in are the personalities behind it all. Nobody would make a The Social Network movie if Mark Zuckerberg's dickbaggery weren't so pervasive that it honestly needs two more films to cover. Nobody would pay nearly as much attention to Elon Musk if he weren't shooting cars into space or smoking weed with Joe Rogan. Which brings us to Tom Anderson -- better known as your first friend on MySpace.
The New 'Twilight' Book Is Gonna Force Readers To Admit That Edward Is A Sexual Predator
For a whole lot of people who were in high school and beginning to start their sexual awakenings, the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer had an unnaturally strong hand in that development. And over the past decade, readers have been teased with the release of Midnight Sun, a retelling of the first book, only this time from the perspective of Edward Cullen. Well, we have some news: This it's going to be the type of book that targets people who already have a stake in the series.
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