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Articles by James Snyder
RELIGION: Do I have a license to drive my wife crazy?
In the news recently, there was a story about a man involved in an automobile accident, which wasn’t his first time. I can’t remember how many accidents he was involved in, but it turned out he never had a driver’s license. How can people get in a car, drive across town, and not have a driver’s license?
RELIGION: I really do listen, I just can't remember
At my age, people, particularly The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, believe that I do not listen when people talk. Of course, some people aren't worth listening to. But I digress. When I'm around people, I don't have any problem talking with everybody and responding to every conversation. My main goal is to make people laugh, and I'm pretty good at it, especially among my relatives. Seriously, I’m not quite sure if some are laughing with me or at me.
Out to Pastor: I really do listen I just can’t remember
At my age, people, particularly The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, believe that I do not listen when people talk. Of course, some people aren't worth listening to. But I digress. When I'm around people, I don't have any problem talking with everybody and responding to every conversation. My main goal is to make people laugh, and I'm pretty good at it, especially among my relatives. Seriously, I’m not quite sure if some are laughing with me or at me.
Out to Pastor: I really do listen I just can’t remember
At my age, people, particularly The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, believe that I do not listen when people talk. Of course, some people aren't worth listening to. But I digress. When I'm around people, I don't have any problem talking with everybody and responding to every conversation. My main goal is to make people laugh, and I'm pretty good at it, especially among my relatives. Seriously, I’m not quite sure if some are laughing with me or at me.
RELIGION: Not everything in life is funny
I’m the kind of person who finds a sliver of humor in just about everything in life. If I can’t laugh, I guess I’m not awake yet. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is not on board with my attitude. It takes her quite a while to find something to laugh at. If only she could see my bathroom mirror in the morning, she could find something to laugh about.
RELIGION: I used to take violin lessons
When it comes to music, I am quite a fan. I enjoy all kinds of music, though some more than others. When I’m driving, I love having the radio on and listening to music. Sometimes I jump from station to station listening to different kinds of music. Although I love music, I am not the person anyone would want to sing. If you ever heard me sing, you might have a little pause about music yourself. kAm%96 vC24:@FD |:DEC6DD @7 E96 !2CD@?286 92D 366?
RELIGION: A flashback to my grandfather's pipe
This week, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I went shopping. Normally, I don’t go shopping, at least not with her. However, this was a special occasion, and so I tagged along. I’m not quite sure what she was shopping for, and after 55 years of marital bliss, I don’t ask. I have found that if I ask, she'll respond, which is more than I want. kAm(6 H6C6 :? E96 DE@C6 7@C ;FDE 2 76H >@>6?ED[ 2?5 D96 925 E@ 8@ 5@H? 2?
Out to Pastor: A flashback to my grandfather's pipe
This week, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I went shopping. We were in the store for just a few moments, and she had to go down an aisle to get some stuff, so I went the other way.. kAmx H2D 8@:?8 5@H? D6G6C2= 2:D=6D H96? x D2H D@>6E9:?8 x 925?VE D66? :? 2 =@?8 E:>6] %96C6[ :? 2 8=2DD 42D6[ H2D 2 =2C86 4@==64E:@?
RELIGION: A cookie in the hand is worth two in the cupboard
For the last few years, I have been on a rather strict diet, according to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I have some health issues, and I’m not allowed to eat anything with sugar in it. It seems everything has sugar in it. Believe me, she’s been very vigilant in supervising my daily menu. She also supervises all the medicine I have to take every day. It seems I have become a drug addict. The doctor prescribed the medicine I am to take every day.
RELIGION: A fruitcake isn't always sweet
When it comes to sweet items, I am a connoisseur with a delicate palate. All I need is something sweet set before me, and I can tell you how wonderful it is after the first bite. I may be a little addicted to sweet things. After celebrating 55 years of marital bliss, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage makes some of the sweetest desserts I have ever tasted. Whether it’s a pie, a cookie, or a cake, they are all the sweetest I have ever tasted.
Out to Pastor: A fruitcake isn't always sweet
When it comes to sweet items, I am a connoisseur with a delicate palate. All I need is something sweet set before me, and I can tell you how wonderful it is after the first bite. I may be a little addicted to sweet things. After celebrating 55 years of marital bliss, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage makes some of the sweetest desserts I have ever tasted. Whether it’s a pie, a cookie, or a cake, they are all the sweetest I have ever tasted.
RELIGION: What it was, was a boo-boo
This week I experienced a little "situation." I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower when, for some reason, I slipped and went crashing to the floor. At my age, this is a rather serious "situation." I fell on my left leg, and all I could think of was that I broke my hip, and now I'm going to have a hip replacement. I tried to get that out of my mind, but for some reason it lingered.
RELIGION: The perks of being old and ugly
Growing up, I never thought much about what my life would be like when I got old. I observed my grandparents, and I'm sorry to say that I made fun of them at times, but always behind their backs. I never thought I would ever be in their situation. kAmxE H2D?VE F?E:= C646?E=J E92E x C62=:K65 86EE:?8 @=5 2?5 F8=J 92D D@>6 D:8?:7:42?E A6C<D] (96? x H2D J@F?8[ x ?6G6C E9@F89E @7 :E E9:D H2J[ 3FE x 2> DE2CE:?8 E@ C62=:K6 :E ?@H] xE >2<6D >6 D>:=6 E@ D66 E96 A6C<D xV> 5:D4@G6C:?8]k^Am kAmx ?6G6C :?
RELIGION: Keeping up is hard to do at my age
There was a time in my life when keeping up was part of my daily routine. I started each day with a specific objective, and by the end of the day, I had completed it. I took pride in completing my work on time. The secret was to plan carefully. Some projects required several days; therefore, I organized them accordingly. kAm%92E 925 366? ECF6 E9C@F89@FE >J =:76 F?E:= 2 G6CJ D6C:@FD 6?6>J 42>6 :?E@ G:6H 2?5 9:?56C65 >6 7C@> 7:?:D9:?8 D@>6 AC@;64ED] %9:D 6?6>J 92D 366? 2 4FCD6 :?
RELIGION: If I were a millionaire
I have never had an ambition to become a millionaire. I just never thought about it, and it never crossed my mind or my wallet. I've got many calls from these "Fake Publishing Houses" telling me I won a hundred million dollars, and all I have to do is pay a $2500 processing fee, and it's all mine. I used to tell them to take the fee out of my winnings, and we'd both be winners. Of course, how can you take something out of something that doesn't exist? kAm%96C6 H2D 2 7C:6?5 H9@ H@? 2 >:==:@?
Out to Pastor: Hallelujah… She’s baaaaack
I have learned that you don't miss something until it is gone. Unfortunately, sometimes, it's too late. Over six weeks ago, or was it nine months, I took my truck in for a regular checkup. I was going away for the week, so I thought I would drop the truck off and let them work on it when they had time, and then when I come back, it would be ready. kAmx E@@< :E :? @? |@?52J[ E96? H6 =67E 7@C @FC 72>:=J C6F?:@?[ 2?5 @? %F6D52J[ E96 >249:?6 D9@A 42==65 >6 H:E9 D@>6 C2E96C D25 ?6HD] %96 6?8:?6 :?
Out to Pastor: Hallelujah… She’s baaaaack
I have learned that you don't miss something until it is gone. Unfortunately, sometimes, it's too late. Over six weeks ago, or was it nine months, I took my truck in for a regular checkup. I was going away for the week, so I thought I would drop the truck off and let them work on it when they had time, and then when I come back, it would be ready. kAmx E@@< :E :? @? |@?52J[ E96? H6 =67E 7@C @FC 72>:=J C6F?:@?[ 2?5 @? %F6D52J[ E96 >249:?6 D9@A 42==65 >6 H:E9 D@>6 C2E96C D25 ?6HD] %96 6?8:?6 :?
RELIGION: Maybe I should rob a bank
Throughout my life, money has been quite a challenge. I was a pastor for almost 50 years, and as a pastor I did not get much of a salary, barely enough to get by on. But I didn’t become a pastor for the money, or I would’ve become a televangelist. I didn’t say that, did I? Both The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I worked to be as frugal as possible with our budget. We tried our best not to spend our money on things we didn’t really need.
RELIGION: I found another button to push
Life has its many experiences. I'm about to hit number 75 this month, a big experience for me. I'm not sure how to celebrate my 75th birthday, especially since I've done just about everything, so no 75 candles on my cake. kAm%96 vC24:@FD |:DEC6DD @7 E96 !2CD@?286VD 3:CE952J :D EH@ 52JD 27E6C >:?6] p=D@[ D96VD EH@ J62CD @=56C E92? >6[ 3FE J@F 5:5?VE 962C >6 D2J E92E]k^Am kAm(96? H6 8@ 24C@DD E@H?
RELIGION: After all, a penny is a penny
As I was leaving the post office, I hurried across the parking lot to get to my vehicle. As I usually do, I kept my eyes focused on the ground as I walked to my vehicle. Then, I saw it. There it was in all of its stunning beauty. I stopped for a few moments to look at it, and then bent over and picked it up. It was a penny. That’s right, one cent.
RELIGION: Is crazy contagious?
Getting into trouble seems to be an ongoing habit of mine. It doesn't matter what the trouble is at the time; it somehow associates itself with me. Whenever I think I'm perfect and everything is going fine, I’m set up for something to go horribly wrong. Believe me, it happens to me all the time. If I could accept the fact that I'm not perfect, maybe my life would be just a little bit better. I’m working on that. kAmtG6CJ @?46 :?
RELIGION: Getting old is not as bad as I thought
I was celebrating and eating an apple fritter. I'm not sure what I was celebrating at the time, but it doesn't matter as long as I'm celebrating with an apple fritter. Life has its way of opening up doors of celebration. While I was in this celebratory mood, I happened to remember that I turn 75 years old this month. kAmyFDE E96 E9@F89E @7 E92E DFCAC:D65 >6 2?5 >256 >6 A2FD6 H9:=6 62E:?8 >J 2AA=6 7C:EE6C] x 5:5 ?@E E9:?< x H2D E92E @=5[ 3FE C67=64E:?8 @?
RELIGION: How to get out of a pickle
Throughout my time on this planet, I have gotten into many pickle situations that I could not escape. Each pickle was different from the last, which made dealing with them quite a problem for me. In reviewing my life, I must confess that the biggest pickle situations started upon my marriage to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I do not see a connection, but I won't rule it out.
RELIGION: Help! I'm becoming my father
As I celebrated Father’s Day this year, I remembered my father. It was 16 years ago that he passed away, and I have not forgotten him one single day. One thing that stands out in my memories of him is his money. He did not have a lot of money, but the money he did have was somewhat of an obsession with him. When he got his monthly bank statements, he spent the whole day going through them line by line.
RELIGION: Life is not a soap opera
When I was young, we did not have a TV in our home. My parents did not think it was important, so we listened to the radio instead. I love the Saturday morning radio shows, Popeye the Sailor Man, particularly. Then something big happened that changed our lives. On November 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. This event changed everything for us.
RELIGION: Monday's here, but Sunday's 'a comin'
For many years, even before I became a pastor, Sunday was always a very special day. I lived in a rural community in Pennsylvania where they had what they called the "Blue Laws." No business was open on a Sunday, but churches were full. In those days, Sunday was focused on church, gathering as a congregation, and worshiping the Lord. kAm%96? 42>6 |@?52J]k^Am kAm|@?52J :D E96 368:??:?8 @7 2 ?6H H66<] %92E >62?D x ?665 E@ 86E 6G6CJE9:?8 :?
RELIGION: Just pinch a nickel until the buffalo screams
Every so often, something happens reminding me of my father, who passed away over 16 years ago. Thinking back, he was the epitome of frugality. If I were to look up in the dictionary the meaning of frugality, I would not be surprised to find my father's name. His favorite saying was, "Just pinch a nickel until the buffalo screams." kAm(96?
RELIGION: What if I don't want to act my age?
Throughout my life, I have often heard people telling other people what they should be or do. I do not know where they get the right to say that about other people. I first encountered this attitude with my mother. She would often say to me, "Son, you need to start acting your age." At the time, I did not know what she really meant by that. kAmpD 72C 324< 2D x 42? C6>6>36C[ x 92G6 ?6G6C 925 2?J E96DA:2?
Out to Pastor: What if I don't want to act my age? Original
Throughout my life, I have often heard people telling other people what they should be or do. I do not know where they get the right to say that about other people. I first encountered this attitude with my mother. She would often say to me, "Son, you need to start acting your age." At the time, I did not know what she really meant by that. kAmpD 72C 324< 2D x 42? C6>6>36C[ x 92G6 ?6G6C 925 2?J E96DA:2?
RELIGION: Soap isn't always soap
After several months of mayhem in our house, things began to quiet down. It was beginning to get back to our normal way of life. Of course, because of the mayhem, many things that needed to be done did not get done. That made The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage jump in line to try to catch up with everything around the house. If there's one thing undone, she cannot sit down. kAmx H2D 23=6 E@ 86E :?E@ >J @77:46 2?5 368:? H@C<:?8 @? AC@;64ED] x DFC6 >:DD65 2== E92E E:>6 H@C<:?8 @?
Out to Pastor: Soap isn't always soap
After several months of mayhem in our house, things began to quiet down. It was beginning to get back to our normal way of life.
Out to Pastor: Soap isn't always soap
After several months of mayhem in our house, things began to quiet down. It was beginning to get back to our normal way of life.
RELIGION: Sometimes I feel like a rabbit
A lot of things in life, I am not very good at. That list could go on and on and on. Not only am I not good at some things, but I'm terrible at most things. However, I am actually excellent at a few things. I think the top of that list is eating, which I do with a passion that might make you smile. kAmxVG6 ?6G6C >6E 2 4966D63FC86C E92E x 5:5?VE =:<6] x 4@F=5 92G6 2 4966D63FC86C 6G6CJ 52J 2?5 36 G6CJ 92AAJ] p=@?8 H:E9 >J 4966D63FC86C H@F=5 36 D@>6 G6CJ 56=:4:@FD uC6?49 7C:6D] }@3@5J 42?
RELIGION: The fine art of compromise
After being married for over 50 years, I have concluded the secret of a happy marriage is a happy wife. What it takes to make her happy is worth all the effort. Today, most marriages don't work. Divorce is on the rise in our country.
RELIGION; Multitasking is not my cup of tea
Usually, I have a lot of work on my desk, from writing to radio programs. Even though I have many projects, I can only do one at a time. I have often wished I could multitask, which would help me get through many more projects more quickly. But that has never been my style of working. I focus on one project at a time and move on to the next when it is finished. kAm$@>6 A6@A=6 42?
RELIGION: Back in the saddle finally
After about three months of wrestling with a variety of bug thingamajigs, I ended up with a case of acute bronchitis. Believe me; it was not really cute at all. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I, during that time, competed in a coughing and sneezing contest. Unfortunately, she won the contest.
RELIGION: Does anybody ever grow up?
In a few months, I will celebrate another birthday. Interestingly, these birthdays come every year. This year, if I've kept up to date, I will celebrate my 75th birthday. I never expected to get this far along in life. I always thought 75 was old. If I believe one of my old uncles, my 75th birthday amounts to 7+5 = 12. So I will be 12 years old in a few months. I can't imagine what it's going to be like to be 12 once again. I guess I don't know the difference between 75 and 12.
RELIGION: My addiction to happiness
One of the most important elements of life is happiness. When I look around the world, I notice how scarce happiness seems, which makes me reflect on its true value. I have come to the conclusion that happiness is a choice. I can be happy or sad. The choice is mine. kAm(96?6G6C E9:?8D 2C6?VE 8@:?8 E96 H2J x H2?E[ 2?5 :E D66>D G6CJ 492@E:4 2C@F?5 >6[ x DE@A[ E9:?< 2 =:EE=6 3:E[ 2?5 24E:G6=J 49@@D6 92AA:?6DD @G6C >J H@CCJ:?8[ H9:49 96=AD >6 C682:?
RELIGION: Retiring my insanity
After some months of intense reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for my insanity to retire. The evidence before me is so overwhelming that I'm not sure I have any other choice. And believe me, I have looked. Not that I haven't benefited from my insanity. Looking back over my years, I can't help but notice how my insanity has been a positive thing in my life. I never would've thought this way before, but after considerable thinking, I believe this is so. kAm}@E E@@ >2?J A6@A=6 42?
RELIGION: Just one more nap!
Bouncing back from weeks of being sick is not as easy as it used to be when I was younger. I guess that's the cost of getting old. Over the last six weeks, I've had this bug thingamajig going around. I had it for two weeks, and then it gradually went away.
RELIGION: Just another pain in the neck
For some reason, the other week I thought of my maternal grandfather, after whom I was named. He had a farm up in the hills of Pennsylvania, and when I would visit, my cousins and I would get together and make fun of old grandpa. I didn't understand at the time, but I'm beginning to understand now. kAmvC2?5A2 925 >@C6 A2:? :? 6G6CJ A2CE @7 9:D 3@5J E92? 2?J3@5J x <?6H] tG6CJ E:>6 96 8@E FA E@ H2=<[ 9:D <?66D H@F=5 4C62<] w6 925 A2:? :? 9:D 9:AD[ :?
RELIGION: Horning my old goat skills
I'm rather new to this getting-old stage of life. Up to now, all my life has been young and innocent. Unfortunately, those days have passed. It's hard to get adjusted to old age because I've never experienced it before. I remember when I was young, all of the fun that I had. But now, I'm at a new stage of life, and I don't know exactly what I should be doing. kAm$@>63@5J D9@F=5 HC:E6 2 3@@< D@>6E:>6 E:E=65[ Qw@H %@ v6E ~=5 :? `_ t2DJ $E6AD]Q xV== 3FJ E92E 3@@< :? 2 D64@?5]k^Am kAmxVG6 366?
It’s my pain I’ll use it ff I want to
Posted 11/1/25 When I think I've turned a page to a new chapter in my life, I realize there is nothing new in life. I'm referring to pain. I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn't have some pain. This item is available in full to subscribers. E-mail Password Print and web subscribers If you're a print and web subscriber, but do not yet have an online account, click here to create one.
James L. Snyder: A needle named Miss Ouch
My father has been gone for 15 years. One of my father’s “jokes” was, “Son, I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Then he would laugh, and I would, of course, join in with his laughter. Although I was laughing, I did not get the punch line. In the hospital recently, I thought about my dad’s “joke.” And believe me, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of the hospital. kAmtG6CJ >@C?:?8[ x H@F=5 2D< :7 x H2D 8@:?8 9@>6 E@52J] xE H2D E96 7:CDE E9:?8 @? >J >:?5 H96?
How Old Is Too Old?
One of my grandchildren asked me quite a penetrating question this week. Everybody knows how perceptive these little people are, especially when they are around big people. I am all for questions and answering questions and that sort of thing. Sometimes, however, the question crosses the wrong line. “Grandpa,” one of the little people asked, “how old are you?” I have always told the truth throughout life, which has been a great challenge.
James Snyder: How can I get my sneeze back?
I’ve had a lot of health issues during this past year, and now that I seem to be over them, something else has taken their place. I have had a sneezing fit for the past two weeks that I’ve never experienced before. Every time I sneeze, it is in triplets. I don’t know why I have to sneeze three times, and I have tried to keep myself from sneezing three times, but so far, I lost that battle.
Out to Pastor: Doctor, could you repeat that?
For the first time in my life, I’ve been having health issues. It was nothing serious, but just enough to be aggravating. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has been very helpful with my medical issues. She arranges all of the medicine I’m supposed to take every day; otherwise, I probably wouldn’t take any. She often asks me, “How are you today?” I look at her, smile, and say, “I’m fine.” “No, you are not fine.
How to act your age
I just celebrated another birthday. Every time I turn around, I have another birthday. I guess I’m going to have to stop turning around. This year, I turned 73, which is a landmark as far as I’m concerned. After celebrating my birthday, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage asked, “Do you think you’ll be able to act your age this year?” I just smiled because I didn’t know what she was saying. How do you act your age when it changes all the time?
RELIGION: I don't eat crow on holidays
I enjoy the holiday season because of the food I get to eat. From Halloween to New Year's Day, the focus is food. Some of the best food of the whole year is during this time. In true confession, throughout the rest of the year, I eat crow almost every day. It is a diet developed by The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. It has taken some time for her to create such a diet for me, and she's done a marvelous job. It took me quite a while to understand this diet of eating crow.
How much is laughter really worth?
Of all the things I prioritize in my life, laughter is at the top of the list. I appreciate laughter more than any other thing. Some people get paid for their jokes, while others pay mightily. I am in the latter category. I like to make people laugh, but sometimes it costs me. Whenever I see somebody with a frown, my first thought is how to make that person laugh. If it's in the supermarket and they're walking down the aisle toward me, I put in gear something to make them laugh.
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