I'm Jason, the Senior Editor of Jalopnik.com! It's great you stopped by; beverage? No? Good, because I can't do that over the internet. Yet.

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@JasonTorchinsky — 8,726 followers, 4,104 tweets

We upgraded our home security system to include a snow Viking. Way better than that ADT crap. https://t.co/ZPOQjRxwwp
My kid Otto just told me our dog’s name is “Footconscious.” Feel free to name your own dogs that, too.
Ultimate two-car collection: Pao and Osh Kosh. Who’s with me? https://t.co/14ymKUi9Rl
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