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Articles by Jeff Millar
Jeff Millar in 1982: Up the lazy river by the old ice house on a Houston afternoon
This column was originally published on May 19, 1982. Millar here references federal Judge William Wayne Justice, who at the time was leading an overhaul of the Texas prison system. During the little cloudburst last week, the gang at the icehouse was comfortable at the picnic tables under the carport, watching the activity on the River Alabama. "Can't be no Chevelle," said Curtis, the other wrecker driver. "Wheelbase's too long. Gotta be a standard Chevy, minimum." "Both wrong," said J.
Jeff Millar in 1985: As time goes bye-bye
Little experiment here. I have to leave for somewhere in 45 minutes. I also have to write this column. If I write this column before I leave, I will have a much better time where I am going, knowing that I won't have to write/finish this column when I get back, which will be at an hour when I my biorhythms tell me it's time to go bedie-bye. I've always been a little smug about the rate at which I crank out words. People who write for newspapers like to congratulate themselves for writing fast.
Jeff Millar in 1985: As time goes bye-bye
Little experiment here. I have to leave for somewhere in 45 minutes. I also have to write this column. If I write this column before I leave, I will have a much better time where I am going, knowing that I won't have to write/finish this column when I get back, which will be at an hour when I my biorhythms tell me it's time to go bedie-bye. I've always been a little smug about the rate at which I crank out words. People who write for newspapers like to congratulate themselves for writing fast.
'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid'
This review was originally published on Nov. 9, 1969. *** There's a fellow out in southwest Houston who went to see "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" at the Metropolitan and the movie hacked him so much he sat down and wrote his own review.
Chronicle review from 1985: 'Back to the Future' is full of charm
This review was originally published on July 8, 1985. *** About five minutes after the beginning of "Back to the Future " (rated PG), the film plastered a big grin on my face. There the grin stayed, varying only from wide to wider, until the end credits. It's a sweetheart of a movie. It will sound like a teen-market movie only because its protagonist is a high school kid. I can't imagine anybody of any age, save hopeless curmudgeons, who'd be immune to the movie's massive charm.
Steven Spielberg shark film delivers on suspense
This image released by Peacock shows, from left, Robert Shaw, Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss in a scene from "Jaws." (Peacock/Universal Pictures via AP) AP This review was originally published on June 21, 1975. The film began its Houston run at the General Cinema theater in the Galleria. *** Seldom have I felt quite as superfluous beginning a review as I do now, with "Jaws" (rated PG).
1974 review: 'The Godfather, Part II,' more a subtext
This review was originally published in the Houston Chronicle on Dec. 19, 1974. *** I'm being neither facetious nor pejorative when I say I've essentially already reviewed "The Godfather, Part II" (at the Cinemas and Loews Town & Country; rated R). Article continues below this ad Francis Ford Coppola's film is not so much a sequel to "The Godfather" as it is a subtext. So I refer to what I wrote about the first "Godfather" because it applies here.
Jeff Millar in 1989: A seasoned approach to fall
This column originally appeared in the Houston Chronicle on Oct. 15, 1989. *** I'VE been gone a week, down in Galveston, so I'm going to have to ask: Is it fall yet? Hard to tell in this part of the country. I understand that in some parts of the United States, there is a season called "autumn." Article continues below this ad In "autumn," the tree leaves turn startling colors - reds, yellows - and the sight is reported to be dramatic and beautiful.
1979 movie review: It's a return bout for 'Rocky'
Actor Sylvester Stallone and actress Talia Shire on set of the United Artists movie "Rocky II" in 1979. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images) Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images This review was originally published on June 18, 1979. *** A lot of the elements of "Rocky" still work in its sequel, "Rocky II" (at several theaters; rated PG). Sylvester Stallone, who wrote the original and who wrote and directed the second, has a good ear for dialogue, at least on a line-by-line basis.
From 1982: 'Road Warrior' bloody but artistic film mayhem
Mel Gibson in "The Road Warrior." Sunset Boulevard/Corbis via Gett/Corbis via Getty Images This review was originally published in the Houston Chronicle on May 21, 1982. George Miller's latest installment in the franchise, "Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga," opens Friday. If you're a fan, Chronicle critic Cary Darling has listed 17 Australian films worth catching from beyond the "Mad Max" universe.
Jeff Millar in 1980: A harrowing saga of man vs. nature
Outbound traffic on Southwest Freeway approaching Newcastle in May 1980. Tom Colburn/Houston Chronicle This column was originally published on April 16, 1980. *** I have written in this space of my tedious obsession with punctuality. I learned from Spot that it's both obsessional and tedious (if Spot says it, you know it must be true; that's what Spot says). Spot is not obsessed with punctuality.
Review from 1974: 'Blazing Saddles' is not too hot
Actor Gene Wilder, right, puts his arm around the shoulder of Cleavon Little in a still from the film, "Blazing Saddles," directed by Mel Brooks, 1974. (Photo by Warner Bros./Courtesy of Getty Images) Warner Bros./Getty Images This Houston Chronicle review was originally published on March 15, 1974.
Jeff Millar in 1982: Yule be glad you read this
The parking lot at Northwest Mall is packed with cars for the Christmas shopping season, Nov. 27, 1982. Ben DeSoto/Houston Chronicle This column was originally published in the Houston Chronicle on Dec. 19, 1982. *** Say you're the only one on the block yet to put up your Christmas decorations and the neighbors' children are spray-painting "Grinch" on your garage door? Sent your Christmas cards yet? Advertisement Article continues below this ad I shouldn't have asked, should I?
Jeff Millar in 1982: Contrites and wrongs
This column was originally published on Aug. 1, 1982. *** My conscience is killing me. The other day I was complaining about repair persons. How when you have to call the repair company back because something they were supposed to fix didn't get fixed the first time, they never apologize for it ("Being a legal monopoly means never having to say you're sorry.") I was proved wrong within 24 hours, by a repair service operator at the phone company. Two things are unusual about this.
Evolution's online casino game Lightning Dice makes US debut with New Jersey launch
B2B online casino services provider Evolution has announced the launch of its online live casino game Lightning Dice in the United States. The game is now streaming live to players in New Jersey from Evolution’s live casino studio in Atlantic City. The company describes it as “a simple yet endlessly entertaining dice game” with random “Lightning” strike multipliers of up to 1000x.
Estados Unidos: Evolution amplía su presencia en Pensilvania tras firmar un acuerdo con Caesars Digital
El proveedor de servicios de casino online Evolution anunció una alianza con Caesars Digital en el estado de Pensilvania. A través de esta colaboración estratégica, los juegos de casino en vivo de Evolution estarán disponibles en Tropicana Online Casino y Caesars Sportsbook & Casino. Estas plataformas también tendrán acceso a las tragamonedas online de NetEnt y Red Tiger, marcas de Evolution.
Red Tiger to launch timed jackpot games in New Jersey with several operators scheduled to go live
iGaming content provider Red Tiger announced Tuesday that it is launching its timed progressive jackpot games in New Jersey, with several operators planning to go live on Day 1 of the launch. This jackpot mechanic for online games allows operators to set up progressive jackpots that are guaranteed to hit before a certain time.
Red Tiger to launch timed jackpot games in New Jersey with several operators scheduled to go live
iGaming content provider Red Tiger announced Tuesday that it is launching its timed progressive jackpot games in New Jersey, with several operators planning to go live on Day 1 of the launch. This jackpot mechanic for online games allows operators to set up progressive jackpots that are guaranteed to hit before a certain time.
Red Tiger to launch timed jackpot games in Michigan with four operators scheduled to go live
Evolution's Red Tiger announced Wednesday that it is launching its timed progressive jackpot games in Michigan, with four operators planned to go live in the coming weeks. The online slots provider is the only supplier to offer timed jackpots in the US, according to a press release. This jackpot mechanic for online games allows operators to set up progressive jackpots that are guaranteed to hit before a certain time.
Jeff Millar: A house out in the country would be ... far out
This column was originally published on Dec. 2, 1981. *** Where was I? Ah, yes. APlaCo. For those of you who missed last Wednesday's column, a quick synopsis: (and look, there's a big newsprint price hike coming, so I can't keep saying things twice; you're going to have to pay attention...) Spot and I, urban animals, have a fantasy about A Place in the Country (herein after designated as APlaCo); we've wanted one for years.
Jeff Millar: Just for the (video) record
Jeff Millar, Staff Writer Oct. 25, 2022 This column was originally published on Oct. 25, 1981. *** Well, Jeff, the cows have come home. You blinded yourself to the threat of communist world domination. You ignored the insidious conspiracies of domestic Fifth Column fluoridationists to pollute and defile our precious bodily fluids. You yawned while the pornographers destroyed the morals of America's youth.
Jeff Millar: New-car fever can fry the brain
This column was originally published in the Houston Chronicle on July 27, 1977. *** The last time I had taken Rotten Car in to have the front end aligned, the guy down in the pit looked at me and said that maybe Dr. Denton Cooley could align the front end, but he couldn't.
Jeff Millar: Up there with the best of them
This column originally appeared in the Houston Chronicle on June 2, 1976. Some context: Janet Guthrie did indeed take part in the World 600 (called 500 here for some reason) a few days earlier, becoming the first woman to take part in a NASCAR Winston Cup superspeedway race. She finished 15th. In the weeks leading up to the race, though, Guthrie was hoping to compete in the Indianapolis 500, held the same day as the World 600.
Jeff Millar: Who doesn't have an RV?
No. 1 with a bullet on Burris's wish list was a recreational vehicle. Lots of guys down at the plant had one, and Burris envied each insider's anecdote about hookups, LP gas tanks, cruising range and dump-station connections. Burris's favorite daydream was of himself, Wanda and the boys pulling into the Lake Somerville campgrounds in the Winnebago/Airstream/whatever, the bass boat behind, reservations in hand for a hookup right on the water. Wanda was less enthusiastic.
Jeff Millar: Christmas at the icehouse comes too late for Michigrant
This column was originally published on Dec. 22, 1982. For more than 20 years, Jeff Millar would sometimes drop in on the gang at the ice house on Alabama. The cast of characters included folks like State Rep. Lester Lloyd Diboll, Stickshift, J. Jack Quarterpanel and Joy Clara. Here, the gang learns a transplant from Michigan is going to have a rough Christmas. Some perspective: In Texas, the oil industry was booming as the 1980s dawned.
Jeff Millar: The paraphernalia dragnet
This Jeff Millar column was originally published in the Houston Chronicle on June 3, 1981. During the 67th Legislature that year, lawmakers passed a bill that made it illegal to possess or sell items that could be used to consume or manufacture drugs. Authorities had to show the items were to be used with illegal substances. Confusion soon followed on how to enforce the law. I'm getting panicky. The regular session of the legislature is gone. My most reliable source of material has dried up.
Jeff Millar: Frustrations from getting a frumstrubbler fixed
This column was originally published in the Houston Chronicle on Nov. 22, 1987. The story you are about to read is true. The names, except for mine, have been changed to keep me out of trouble. Oh, I suppose I could use real names, you know, like the real reporters who work for the Chronicle. But that would result in no end of hassle.
Jeff Millar: Chronicle columnist finds plenty to be grouchy about
Local // Bayou City History This Jeff Millar column was originally published on Oct. 19, 1980. I’ll be straight with you folks: This is not a good day to be reading my column. I’m feeling grouchy. More accurate: I woke up feeling fine and was made to feel grouchy. I imagine that the same things that make me grouchy make you feel grouchy. Maybe it’ll be cathartic for all of us if we talk about it. Or maybe it’ll make me feel better and you simply grouchier. I make no promises.
'Boring romantic drivel': How the Chronicle reviewed 'Somewhere in Time' in 1980
Local // Bayou City History This Houston Chronicle review was originally published on Oct. 3, 1980. In the years since "Somewhere in Time" was released, it's become a cult classic. But as you'll see here, critics weren't exactly bowled over by it when it landed in theaters.
The underclass vs. the fascists: How the Chronicle originally reviewed 'Caddyshack'
This review originally appeared in the Houston Chronicle on July 26, 1980. At the time it was hard to avoid comparing “Caddyshack” to the wildly successful “Animal House,” which came out two years earlier. National Lampoon co-founder Douglas Kenney had a hand in creating both, which would reshape American comedy for the 1980s and beyond. Sadly, the troubled Kenney would die one month and one day later.
From 1966: Stones feel fans missing their message
Note: This article originally appeared in the July 12, 1966, editions of the Houston Chronicle. The previous night, the Rolling Stones made their Houston debut at the Sam Houston Coliseum. This was not the first time the Stones played Texas; the band had earlier performed in San Antonio in 1964 and Fort Worth in 1965. The band returned to Houston six years later on its infamous 1972 North American tour. The Stones would return again in 1978, 1981, 1989, 1994, 1998, 2003 and 2005.
Chronicle review from 1979: 'Alien' is worth seeing
This review of the film "Alien" was originally published on May 24, 1979, in the Houston Chronicle. It opened at four Houston theaters: the Alabama, Almeda 9, North Oaks and Westchase. At the Alabama, the movie was shown in 70mm. To mark the film's 40th anniversary, a 4K restoration of the film will be screened Sunday at Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra.
Texas Sails Again
These stories appeared in the Houston Post on Aug. 7, 1966 (reprinted below) and in the Houston Chronicle on Aug. 5, 1966 (excepted below). The scenes were real but the sounds were foreign. Sailors in whites standing at quarters lined the outboard sides of the forecastle. Division petty officers checked musters while the ship's officers stood quietly under the long barrels of the forward turrets 14-inch guns awaiting reports.
Step out of comfort zone for Anthropology Day
Susan Allen, Jeff Millar, Heather Norton and Leila Rodriguez are anthropology professors at the University of Cincinnati. Anthropology is the study of humanity, past and present. It explores who we are as a species, what kind of societies we have produced, how we make sense of our world, and how we express ourselves. What defines anthropology is an approach to studying humans that see each aspect of a culture and society as related to others.
Port Arthur and the Thomas Jefferson Class of '60 may never be the same
Port Arthur and the Thomas Jefferson Class of '60 may never be the same Note: This story ran in the Houston Chronicle's Sunday Zest magazine on Aug. 23,1970. Janis Joplin, the celebrated demigoddess of blue-eyed soul, the heiress to the legend of Bessie Smith, the lady with sheetmetal in her voice, tattoos on her wrist (and God knows where else) and abandon in her soul, grew up in Port Arthur.
Janis Joplin: Port Arthur and the Thomas Jefferson Class of '60 may never be the same again
Janis Joplin: Port Arthur and the Thomas Jefferson Class of '60 may never be the same again This story in the Chronicle's Sunday Zest magazine on Aug. 23, 1970. Excerpts of the story, as it ran then, follow. Janis Joplin, the celebrated demigoddess of blue-eyed soul, the heiress to the legend of Bessie Smith, the lady with sheetmetal in her voice, tattoos on her wrist (and God knows where else) and abandon in her soul, grew up in Port Arthur.
Jeff Millar: Neighbors mutter at my new roof: That stopped the rain
This column was originally published in the Houston Chronicle on Sept. 2, 1987. The lights you saw in the west toward the beginning of the week were my neighbors. They had fired up the torches, dragged me from my house and put me in one of those horse-drawn hay carts in which the monarchy was taken away by the rabble in French Revolution movies. In absence of a guillotine, they intended to hold my head on the MKT tracks and wait for a freight train. I brought on this drought.
Jeff Millar: A Houston survival manual (continued)
Another page to be filed in the orientation manual for recent immigrants to the Golden Buckle on the Sunbelt, courtesy of your Unca Jeff, a life-long resident of these parts.... This is indexed: AIR CONDITIONERS. Item: In the recently delivered Consumer Directory (a.k.a. Yellow Pages) there are 46 pages between the first appearance of Air Conditioning Contractors -- Residential and the last listing for Air Conditioning Equipment & Systems -- Residential-Repairing.
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