Jera Brown
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Columnist for @rebelliousmag, queer, polyamorous, Buddhist/exvangelical. They/them preferred.
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Articles by Jera Brown
Sarah McLachlan Archives - Rebellious Magazine
Life moves along a bumpy road. We often stumble, sometimes at the fault of our own and other times due to unforeseen circumstances or challenging obstacles. Regardless of missteps and mishaps, beauty can be found in even the darkest of places. Sarah McLachlan has created beautiful music about the human condition throughout her career, but […]
Karen Hawkins, Laurie Fanelli, Janet Arvia, Michelle Duster, Jera Brown, Author at Rebellious Magazine
Precedented times? 2024 doesn’t know her. It’s been a year we won’t soon forget, and through 150 posts and 133,000 words, our talented staff was there to document its highs, lows and everything in between. The pieces that resonated most with readers in 2024 are a perfect reflection of who we are and what we […]
Why I Regret Unfriending My Family Following the Election [From the Archives]
Eds. Note: This essay was originally published on December 21, 2020. I have been committed to staying in touch with my conservative-leaning extended family and folks I went to school with in rural Indiana, because how are we ever going to break down political differences if we cannot speak to each other? But then, the day after the election, one cousin posted a long statement supporting Trump on Facebook. My uncle commented in support of the post. And I found a personal breaking point.
The WD Interview: Alyssa Cole
In Alyssa Cole’s newest thriller, One of Us Knows, the lead character Kenetria Nash is the host of what’s known as a “system,” a group of personalities that inhabit the same body. But this is no fantasy novel. This unique situation occurs when an individual has dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder. From The Perfect Daughter by D. J.
Just the Tip: People Can Quiet Quit Relationships Too
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown.
Just the Tip: Preparing to Couple Swap
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. My husband and I fuck around with another couple. So far, it’s very PG-13 stuff.
Just the Tip: I've Got the Hots for Moms. Is that Okay?
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. My mother was a distant figure and I wonder if that continues to shape me.
Just the Tip: Should I Get Back With My Ex?
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. My ex-boyfriend recently reached out after a couple of years of complete silence.
Just The Tip: ENM Without Becoming the 'Creepy Old Dude'
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. Recently my girlfriend broached the idea of ethical non-monogamy.
Just the Tip: Dating In Your Fifties
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown.
Sex Toy Reviews Archives
Rebellious readers, this month I have a review that is long overdue. For about five years, I have been using and loving toys from Strange Bedfellas, a Texas-based independent toy company that creates absolutely gorgeous, creative fantasy toys. While many that I’ll be talking about were sent to me for review, I’ve also purchased some […]
Telling the ‘Right’ Story: Dina Nayeri on Refugee Credibility
To be granted asylum in the U.S., it doesn’t matter if a person is in undoubtedly in danger. A refugee needs to have the “right” story—the one that matches the official definition of being a refugee—and be able to tell that story in a believable way. In her newest book, Who Gets Believed?, writer and refugee Dina Nayeri explores the role of credibility in seeking aid, from access to asylum to the criminal justice system.
A Dating Profile Red Flag If You’re An Anxious Attacher
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. Two words: No drama. As soon as I see them on a dating profile, I immediately swipe left.
My Relationship With My Partner Improved After We Broke Up
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown.
Lenny Duncan: Daddy Dom and Priest of Oshun
Find the Left-Handed Journeys Podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. The title of former Lutheran pastor Lenny Duncan’s newest book explains it all: Dear Revolutionaries: A Field Guide for a World Beyond the Church. It came out of a spiritual awakening Lenny underwent in 2020, including their experiences as a trauma chaplain while police attacked protesters. They recognized the church wasn’t showing up in the fight against system racism. And the church was not going to evolve.
Daddy Dom and Priest of Oshun on Apple Podcasts
A big theme in Lenny Duncan’s story, as they told it to me for the podcast, is making space for themselves and breaking out of spaces that no longer fit. From a teen runaway who finds a home in alternative relationships in the 90s with other queer folks, to becoming ordained in the ELCA church, to becoming initiated into Ifa, an African spiritual tradition while reparenting themselves in a loving kink community.
Just the Tip: I Don’t Enjoy Using My Penis During Sex — Is Something Wrong With Me? - Rebellious Magazine
Overview: Breaking down the myth that penetrative sex is the best form of sexual intimacy between two people. Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown.
Five Reasons Polyamory Might Not Be Right For You (And What to Consider Instead)
Five Reasons Polyamory Might Not Be Right For You (And What to Consider Instead) When polyamory might not be the ideal relationship structure for you. Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions.
The Spiritual Possibilities of Drag
Drag has a long history of helping marginalized people find community and acceptance. There’s a reason why queer folks often say that a particular performance “took them to church.” Drag is celebratory, joyful, and healing. For some, there’s a more direct connection between drag, burlesque, and spirituality — one that has helped performers embrace their calling as spiritual leaders and as beloveds of the Divine.
Chicago’s Redux Daddy Meets Drug Users and Sex Workers Where They Are
It’s three in the morning, and 37-year-old Cris Bleaux is at home in the Roger’s Park apartment he shares with his partner and foster dog when he hears his phone. Maybe he’s still up, winding down from a bartending shift at Touché, one of Chicago’s iconic leather bars. Or maybe he’s already passed out next to his partner. Both have probably been true at one point because this isn’t an isolated event.
The Writer's Digest Interview: Marlon James
To Marlon James, an epic is “a struggle that’s both very profound and very simple at the same time.” His Dark Star Trilogy, an African fantasy series, is certainly that. It’s not just the size of the books, which are 600-plus pages apiece, that makes Dark Star arguably an epic. The simple part? It’s a search for a lost boy. As for how the series is profound—that’s not so easily summarized. In the Dark Star Trilogy, the same story is told in each book by a different character.
Essays for the Objectified: Q&A with Negesti Kaudo
If you’re fat and Black, do you feel fetishized in two ways at once? Do you ever want to ask your lover, “Choose: fat or dark-skinned, which one got you off more?” Can you trace your roots back before slavery? Without them do you feel “black and only black” and wonder what that means when “blackness is a construct morphed into an identity?” Do you wonder how to separate out being a femme with patriarchal ideas of femininity?
Just the Tip: How I Learned to Date Without Feeling Desperate
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. This is the part of a series of posts Jera is writing for the column about dating while traveling full-time in their RV.
Just the Tip: How to Be Comfortable Alone
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. Six months ago, I set out on my own in a travel trailer with two dogs.
Navigating Intimate Relationships with Complex PTSD
Overview: Sex and relationship advice for sufferers of complex PTSD. Interview with Dawn Cooperstein, LCSW. Where post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be the result of a single traumatic incident, complex PTSD, also known as cPTSD, is a condition that arises from surviving repeated or long-lasting traumatic events, often in childhood. Victims of childhood abuse, adult domestic abuse, and combat veterans are common sufferers.
When Dating Triggers Past Wounds or Trauma
For many of us, dating can feel like a landmine of past wounds and trauma. Whether it’s related to emotional or physical violence, significant losses, childhood traumas. Or, just as meaningful, the wounds and insecurities that are often the result of intimate relationships. So how do we date in a healthy way? Jera Brown talked to Dr. Christy Gunter Sim Hailey about this topic.
Just the Tip: What to Do After Being Ghosted
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. This is the part of a series of posts Jera is writing for the column about dating while traveling full-time in their RV.
Open Call for Submissions: Sexual Health & Reproductive Justice Stories
At Rebellious, one of the things we do well is spotlight non-mainstream and marginalized sexual identities and underreported health topics. We are a small but mighty team, so any opportunity we have to serve our amazing readers and writers is one we’re happy to jump on. Thanks to a generous grant, we’re reaching out to our community of badass storytellers and creators! Do you have an eye for inclusive, judgement-free, feminist-focused sexual health and reproductive justice stories?
Intro to Jera's Adventures in Nomadic Dating
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown.
Balancing Humor and Levity in Historical Romances
I’ll be the first to confess I’m not notoriously known as the funniest person in my family. The youngest of my seven-year-old twin daughters on the other hand? She is a master of dry humor and jokes well beyond her age. She never met an episode of Mr. Bean she didn’t love. My son? He never fails to deliver the ultimate knock-knock joke. And then, there’s my other twin who, with her love of hugs and song, reminds me in every way of Poppy, from the movie, Trolls.
How to Tie a Collection of Short Stories Together in a Cohesive Book
The question was put to me: How do you tie a collection of short stories together in a cohesive book? (Alexander Weinstein: On Writing a Thematic Short Story Collection) The initial answer is simple: There has to be some linkage, a thru-line that connects the stories. Simple answers are, of course, deceptive, and not as helpful as they seem.
Englyn Proest Gadwynog: Poetic Forms
If you thought we were done looking at englyn forms, then you were wrong. The englyn proest gadwynog is another quatrain version of this Welsh poetic form.
Appease the Spirit
Kat Chow has always been attracted to stories of loss, especially from communities of color that investigate the impact of this loss across generations. She explored such stories (and many others) as a founding member of the Code Switch team, a project of NPR that investigates identity and culture. Chow has also written about grief for The Cut and Lenny.
A Feminist Guide to BDSM
This guide isn’t going to be exhaustive, or it would be book-length. And, in fact, there are some great books about how to get started in BDSM.
Anyone Can Have Gender Trauma
For feminists, the idea that gender norms are oppressive is nothing new. But have we fully explored the ways that these norms are connected to trauma? Trans, nonbinary, two-spirited and other gender-expansive folks are often very aware of how their experience with the gender binary is connected to personal trauma or trauma that’s passed down from generation to generation. But for cisgender folks, these may be new topics to explore.
After ‘Darling,’ You’ll Never See Peter Pan the Same Way Again
Chances are, if you’re of a certain age, the name Peter Pan conjures images of an animated boy in green tights, Sandy Duncan swinging precariously on a wire, or—if you’re me—of a poorly constructed, probably flammable plastic Tinker Bell costume from the early ’80s. I did not rock that look, for the record.
Trans Folks with Felonies Struggle to Legally Change Their Names
When she was 32, Reyna Ortiz stepped out of the Daley Center and walked across the street to a small restaurant. She tucked herself into a corner and began crying – she was just told that she was unable to legally change her name due to a felony conviction. Ortiz, a transgender woman and activist born and raised in Cicero, began transitioning at age 14. “In 1994 when I came out the word ‘trans’ wasn’t even a thing,” she said.
Join Our Menopause Rant Party on July 1 with Special Guest Heather Corinna
Join Rebellious Magazine staff and special guest Heather Corinna, author of What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You. Bitch, celebrate and cheer each other on, offer advice or ask questions … This is a chance to talk about your experiences and get the perspective and comradery of others who get it.
Illinois Planned Parenthood Clinics Wait on Desperately Needed Funds
In 2016, most people didn’t know about the existence of Title X — a funding program for low-income or uninsured people that gave them access to affordable family planning services – but over 4 million people relied on it. The program was established in 1970 under the Nixon administration as part of the Public Health Service Act.
Navigating Sex & Relationships with Religious Trauma Syndrome
Many of us grew up in religious traditions that held toxic views of sexuality, sex, gender, and romantic relationships. And our backgrounds have influenced our perspectives in ways that we might not even realize. They also can lead to a subtle form of trauma called Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS). Krista Wilson, a licensed professional counselor working in Chicago, knows all about it.
The Path to Sexual Liberation for Sexual Violence Survivors
For survivors of sexual violence, sexual liberation is possible. This is part of the mission of The Heal Project — an organization that aims to prevent and end childhood sexual abuse (CSA) through healing the wounds of sexual oppression and embracing sexual liberation. While the organization’s mission specifically targets childhood sexual abuse, the strategies they discuss and community they cultivate can be useful for all survivors of sexual violence.
The Long-Overdue Inclusive Feminist Guide to Menopause
Heather Corinna has had a hell of a time with menopause. In their new book What fresh hell is this? perimenopause, menopause, other indignities and you, they compare their experiences to the 2016 election and in “a relationship-I’d-invested-all-of-myself- in-blowing-up-in-my-face—one I’d tried at three times over thirty years no less, with my heart, spirit, and life broken exponentially more each time—kind of way.” So, really, really, bad.
Body-Focused Treatments For Trauma
Many trauma survivors are learning how to listen to their bodies in ways that create new confidence and self-trust and a deeper understanding of their needs. Trauma experts also use techniques such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), breathwork, and mindfulness exercises to engage the body in the healing process. Studies have found that body-focused treatments such as yoga can be a more effective treatment for PTSD than medication or forms of talk therapy.
On Aging, Sex, and Body Shame
Dr. Jane Fleishman is a sexuality educator who focuses on older generations and the author of The Stonewell Generation: LGBTQ Elders on Sex, Activism & Aging. We interviewed Dr. Fleishman about overcoming shame related to the aging body and sexual exploration. Let’s separate out body shame and shame around being sexually active. How do they both show up differently for older generations? As we age, there’s just so much shame heaped on us. How we look, how we present ourselves to the world.
A Chicago Birth Story
Aamina Lovie considers herself a maternal person by nature. At thirteen, she was there for the birth of her baby sister. Ever since she’s been amazed by natural childbirth, and has thought about becoming a doula. So when it came to carrying and giving birth to her first child, she wanted to do everything as naturally as possible. Many birth givers accept Western medicine’s general modus operandi for pregnancy and childbirth as the only possibility. You’re expected to receive care from an OB/GYN.
Changes to Maternity Care For Black Birth Givers in Chicago and Illinois
The U.S. has the highest maternal mortality rate of any developed country with 17.4 deaths per 100,000 live births. And the CDC has reported that close to 60% of these deaths are preventable. In the U.S., Black women are three times as likely to die during pregnancy as white women. But in Illinois, the stats are even worse where Black women are six times more likely to have a pregnancy-related fatality.
Poetry Review: 'Extremely Lightweight Guns' Beautifully Juxtaposes the Divine and the Mundane
Content warning: abuse The brain stores trauma in pieces. Disconnect, in some instances, provides protection. Sound and sensation, taste and image, each becomes distinct from the other as the fragile human mind works to make sense of the traumatic event in the way it would every other memory. Nikki Moustaki’s debut collection of poetry captures this divide and dissociation while establishing themes of darkness and light within the difficult narratives of suffering and abuse.
Just the Tip: Trauma and Anal Sex
Trigger Warnings: Childhood abuse and rape Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email jera@jerabrown.com or DM Jera on Twitter @thejerabrown. This article was guest written for Rebellious Magazine by Ignacio G Rivera and Aredvi Azad.
Just the Tip: Online Dating and the Goldilocks Dilemma
Just the Tip is a sex and relationship column hosted by queer non-monogamous kinkster Jera Brown. Here you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators as well as smart and compassionate responses to anonymous questions. If you would like to be interviewed or have a sex or love question you’d like Jera to answer, email justthequestions@gmail.com or DM Jera on Instagram or Twitter @thejerabrown. Thank you for your column.
Healing After Sexual Violence: Webinar for Survivors
Rebellious Magazine is hosting an online storytelling and Q&A for the survivors of sexual violence. The event will be held via Zoom on Wednesday, April 21, 2021 at 5pm PT/8pm ET. Participants will log in as anonymous viewers to protect everyone’s privacy. RSVP on Eventbrite Survivors of sexual abuse can have fulfilling romantic relationships and sexy intimate connections with others.
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