Josephe Hickox

This is my eighth holiday season in recovery. At this point in my sobriety, I am very comfortable with my new life. I have learned to live without substances, and have a life that is full of loving, supportive relationships. In the beginning, I had assumed that recovery would be boring. I couldn’t have been more wrong. My life these days includes a job that I love and a very packed social calendar full of fun things with people who bring joy to my soul. But it’s not always easy.

Losing a friend or family member to addiction is like a layer cake of pain. There’s the usual grief experience as the base, of course—but then on top, there’s layer after layer of complicated feelings about the exact way in which your loved one died. There’s the shock and the self-blame. The anger and frustration. The shame and the fear of judgment. Sounds delicious, right?