Kerry Elson
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Articles by Kerry Elson
Tarot Cards for Teachers
The Tower You may possess a large pile of mandated curriculum materials for your first-grade class, including a guide for a unit called “America: Let’s Only Say Hooray!” You will claim you use these materials with fidelity when the district conducts a walkthrough. - - - The Hierophant This card can indicate that you will offer a new teacher your extra-heavy-duty paper cutter.
Inconvenient places for a mushroom to pop up
Sitemap Inconvenient places for a mushroom to pop up
The Princess and the Shoes That Didn’t Hurt
Once upon a time, there was a princess who needed a new pair of shoes, and not just any ordinary pair would do. You see, the princess also worked as a teacher, and was often on her feet, so the shoes needed to be comfortable. At the same time, the princess felt her youth slipping away with each passing day, so she desired to look cool. The greatest challenge of all: accommodating her nascent bunions. Yes, bunions! For even princesses can get them, especially after they turn forty.
Telltale Signs That Spooky Season Is Here
You’ll see werewolves in cozy, cable-knit sweaters huddling around a campfire, laughing. When one werewolf closes his eyes and starts singing “Thriller,” others join him, and soon each and every werewolf’s voice is united in song. A black cat will sit on a stoop in a newsboy cap, stirring pumpkin soup in a cauldron. It’s an old cat-family recipe, and he’s making enough for the whole neighborhood. Under the light of a full moon, crows will hide behind sidewalk garbage.
End of the exodus? | Maine's manufacturing decline slows, but don't expect a renaissance
During the past five years, Maine's manufacturing industry has been plagued with rising energy costs and a shaky business climate that led companies across the state to close plants and issue layoffs. Steady, high-paying manufacturing jobs gave way to seasonal work in tourism, call center jobs or no work at all. Towns like Millinocket, home to the former Great Northern Paper mills, saw their populations ˆ and economic prospects ˆ plunge.
Developmental Milestones for Doing the Dishes
No dishwashing ability whatsoever. Is a baby. If baby is washing dishes all on its own, contact a scientist. Child may initiate social behavior of play-washing dishes with a friend, e.g., Jeanine Tessitura, the neighbor’s daughter. Might attempt to eat dish-soap bubbles; behavior should be discouraged.
I Am a Giant Tortoise, and Soon It Will Be My Birthday
A First Look at Oahu’s New Artificial Surf Park: The LineUp at Wai Kai
I Am a Giant Tortoise, and Soon It Will Be My Birthday
Here on the Galápagos Islands, a lot of my cousins are turning forty as well. (We all come from a virile, elder tortoise who did his part to keep the tortoise population going strong.) The other day, at a leaf-eating circle, my cousin Mona said that for her fortieth birthday she’s trudging with her friend Bernice and a bunch of other tortoises to a muddy puddle that’s known to be especially warm. They’re going to settle into the puddle for two days and two nights.
What to Do with Your Hands in Photos
Pose with a hand on your hip. Hold a colorful cocktail. Crouch in a sorority squat with your hands on your thighs. Was this pose always so uncomfortable? Do contemporary-folk hands. Pretend to pull a rope, like a mime. Hula-hoop and wave your hands in the air while shouting, “No hands!” Try to remember any posing tips you’ve read over the years. Didn’t “Seventeen” once suggest posing “whatever way feels natural”? Attempt “natural.” End up doing robot arms.
Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Trains Original
At the start of your trip, a conductor will walk down the aisle, punch or scan your ticket, and maybe linger at your seat for a moment. That’s because they’re excited about the sparkly bunny shelter that’s coming together so well on your tray table. Trains can have beautiful names, like the Coast Starlight and the Heartland Flyer.
What Are You Reading? Original
Let’s dim the lights. I’ll recline on this lush, velvet daybed, and you can rest on that one. I’m lowering my eyelids, tilting my head a little bit, and settling into my deep Kathleen Turner voice. I didn’t need to ask, “Have you read any good books lately?” or, “What was the last book you read?” or, “Have you read anything on paper in the last year or so?” Because we’re in a special class of people who always have a book going—I know it. We’re people who really think about the big ideas.
Spells to Ward Off the Sunday Scaries
To Repel Evil E-mails From Tomorrow’s In-box Set your laptop to its lowest brightness setting.
The Teddy-Bear Picnic, as Told by Bears Who Were There
Cuddles: There were rumors circulating for quite a while about a picnic for Teddy bears, out in the woods. This other Teddy bear on the shelf with me was, like, “There’s gonna be a picnic. Bears are getting together.” Mr. Fluff: Then, one morning, Cuddles showed up at the window where I was sitting, waiting to be played with, and tapped his paw against the glass. I turned my head and saw this huge crowd of Teddy bears walking toward the woods, from all these different directions.
Why I Am Not Like Other Tourists Original
I study the region’s language. For example, in many languages, I know how to say, “Hello,” “Do you have lite mayonnaise?,” and, “What is the Wi-Fi password?” I wear my sandals with socks to prevent chafing. My socks are a heathered oatmeal color, and I feel that they lend my travel outfits a special warmth and authenticity. I can go without air-conditioning for a few minutes. I like to eat how the locals eat.
“Do You Want These Old Things I Saved?”: Rhythmic Chants by My Mom
An Ellen Tracy Blazer Collection Welcome, darling. So good to have you visit. Come this way because I have a question. Do you want, Do you want, Do you want These nice wool blazers? I wore them to conferences back in the day. They’ve got a boxy fit, Plus some shoulder pads, But you could make them work— Don’t you think? These blazers could be kind of cool! Hey, here’s a giraffe that you drew with Cray-Pas. Let’s look at it and remember When you made it. You did such a beautiful job.
A Few Words from Someone Who Just Narrowly Finished the Book in Time for Book Club
It’s hard not to get emotional about today’s achievement. All I wanted was to sit on my bed, keep reading, keep pushing, and give this book everything I had. And to make it to that last page—sorry, I’m just catching my breath—is an amazing feeling. I didn’t know if I had it in me. When I started this book and saw how long it was, I thought, Whoa, I’m not sure I have enough gas in the tank.
Dissertations Written by Someone Who Has Friends with Kids
“ ‘I Can’t Change a Diaper, but I Can Carry the Diaper Bag’: On Being a Thirty-Five-Year-Old Woman Going to the Park with a Friend and Her Baby” “My Classmate from High School Can Lactate: A Review of the Literature” “Mother Knows Best: A Meta-Analysis of Handing Baby Azalea Back to Christine When I Feel Wetness on My Hands” “Expanding Foucault’s Panopticon: Buying Christine a Top-of-the-Line Baby Monitor so That We Can Still Have Girls’ Movie Night” “ ‘I’ll Stand and Watch’: Procedures for...
I’m a Teacher and I Do, in Fact, Live at School
Yes, Cora. Where do I go after school? I get that question a lot. In fact, my home sweet home is right here, in this classroom. Yes, I live at school. A lot of you are nodding and saying, “I knew it.” You’re very perceptive scholars! You might be wondering where I keep my belongings. Take a look at that tiny cabinet by the door. When I open it, voilà—out folds a large garment rack on which I can hang all my khaki pants, button-down shirts, and cardigans for every occasion.
Other Times This Little Sign Guy Could Pop in and Say “Slow Down”
You may have seen this plastic child around town. When kids play nearby, this little guy heads out with his red flag and matching red cap, reminding drivers and cyclists to slow down. Here are other situations in which this dedicated fellow might need to intervene.
I Signed Up for Too Many Webinars-This Is My Story
In the early days of the pandemic, I was spending a lot of time at home, looking for something to do. Soon I started getting invitations to free or inexpensive Webinars. I signed up for many of them, eager to stay productive. Little did I know that attending countless informative Webinars would leave me penniless, drowning in knowledge, and ashamed. I remember my first Webinar like it was yesterday.
Acrostic Poems About Going Gray in My Thirties
White hairs multiplying On temples, and even on top of my head. What should I do about them? Again, just taking a look in the mirror— Gee, that’s more than last time. Excuse me, I’m only thirty-eight. Greg, my stylist, hasn’t said anything. Really wonder if I should initiate conversation About dyeing my hair, or if we can just keep going like normal. Yesterday, I saw another long, white one in a place I didn’t expect (center of chest). Maybe it’s not so bad— Actually, is it?
I’m Totally Open to Anything
I have no preferences for movie night. None. I’m open. Seriously, any Baz Luhrmann film is fine with me. Have you thought about what we should read next for our book club? I’m totally open. My one request is that we not read fiction, because I’d rather learn about the real world. I should probably add that I don’t do memoirs (too self-indulgent), biographies (too boring), or books about Broadway (I’ve read them all already). I’m super open to reading about London’s West End, though.
These Aren’t Sweatpants-They’re Joggers
While self-isolating at home for many difficult months, I have been wearing what might, at first glance, seem to be sweatpants. Sometimes I wonder, Am I a slob? But the answer is no, because I am not actually wearing sweatpants at all. I am wearing a more fashionable variety of pants, known as “joggers.” How do I know that my pants are not sweatpants but rather joggers?
How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep
Warm up for bedtime by practicing your optimal sleep position, whether that’s on your back, side, or stomach. We highly recommend preparing your body to withstand the gruelling inactivity that, in some cases, can last all night. Invest in a mattress that is the correct firmness for you. As you’ll recall from our article in the esteemed sleep-science journal Sleep: Everyone Else Finds It So Easy, firmness is measured on a scale from one to sixteen thousand.
Uses for the Bushel of Apples You Picked Last Weekend
Make a fall basket for your next-door neighbors, whom you haven’t talked to offline in seven months. Draw faces on them and have them sit next to you on the couch for movie night. Juggle them in a viral TikTok video (quick, while you still can). Eat one a day to keep the doctor away, since they still charge a thirty-dollar co-pay to downplay your foot pain via teleconference. Carve apple roses in honor of the flowers you’d be able to go outside and see if the A.Q.I. weren’t three hundred.
I’m a Fairy Unicorn Ballerina, and This Job Is a Nightmare
Hello! I am a fairy unicorn ballerina named Joan. Yes, a real one. Recently, it has come to my attention that many young children wish to have my job someday. It might seem like this work is all about fun, sparkle, dancing, and sliding down rainbows. But you do not want this life. I’ve toiled away as a fairy unicorn ballerina for years, and it’s time I set the record straight: this job is a nightmare. My days are exhausting.
Checking the Weather Before Your Socially Distanced Walk with a Friend
New York City Weather Conditions Updated on Saturday at 9 A.M. Sunny with a high near seventy-two. Perfect for that socially distanced walk you’re taking this afternoon with your only friend in the neighborhood! Updated on Saturday at 9:30 A.M. Sunny with a high near seventy-two and clear skies. Text your friend now to confirm the plan! Updated on Saturday at 10 A.M. Actually, partly cloudy with a high near seventy-two. Forty-per-cent chance of showers in the afternoon. Hmm.
What’s a “Pantry Staple”?: True Stories from the Cluelessly Quarantined
Lauren, 36: I remember scrolling through this Melissa Clark recipe on the New York Times Web site. It was for some kind of pasta that uses “pantry staples.” At first, I thought, Great—maybe this recipe would call for three pieces of spaghetti, a dry ball of raisins, and cough syrup, which is what I usually keep in my pantry. But as I continued reading I realized that my pantry staples were not what this recipe required. Then I blacked out.
How to Relax with a Candle While Thoroughly Following Candle-Safety Protocol
Are you ready to totally relax with a candle? No? Let’s try it anyway. Cuddle up with a flame-retardant blanket and take a tentative seat because it’s candle relaxation time! Here are steps for getting started: Write a letter to your niece, just in case she decides to visit and finds only a pile of ash. You could say something like “I was trying to relax with one of my candles. Hope you’re well.
A Kindergarten Teacher Tries to Answer Students’ Questions About Her Marital Status
Well, class, now that I’ve finished reading “Knuffle Bunny” aloud, does anyone have thoughts about the book? I see that Emily is quietly raising her hand. Yes, Emily? What was that? You want to know if I’m married? Hmm! What an unrelated yet familiar question. My marital status has been a subject of inquiry every year, not only in this classroom but also at my childhood home, when I visit for Thanksgiving, and sometimes in my own mind, especially on my birthday.
The Rules of My Apartment Building’s Laundry Room
If you have issues with your laundry card or with a machine, you can call that 1-400 number on the gray box by the door. If you think that 1-400 numbers are pretend and don’t connect you with anyone, you are correct. One woman will sometimes crochet in the laundry room while her clothes are in the wash. Other times, she will sit and wait, without listening to a podcast or meditating.
Totally Legitimate Reasons That I Can’t Go for a Run
It’s too early in the morning. I would go for a run, but I also believe that I need sleep and deserve to keep lying in bed, indefinitely. It’s too late at night. I could go for a run, but I worked hard today, so never mind. I recently read that you should eat breakfast before you work out. Your body needs fuel. I really want to go for a run, but the thing is my run will actually be better if I eat a full English breakfast beforehand. Wow, I just finished an incredible plate of eggs and beans.
An Editor’s Feedback on Your Out-Sick E-mail
Subject: Think I’m getting sick Hi all, I feel like I might be coming down with something, so I should probably stay home. Good first draft, but the reader has to trust your narrative authority. You seem caught between two worlds—the world of the sick, and the world of the “well enough to go to work.” In your second draft, commit to a point of view. Subject: Out sick Hi team, Apologies, but, unfortunately, I have to take a sick day today. Sorry, again.
Everything You Need for Your Journey Into the Cheese Cave
Everything You Need for Your Journey Into the Cheese Cave Be prepared! Switzerland’s Santenberg mountain is home to Kaltbach Cave, a subterranean labyrinth where cheesemakers age thousands of wheels of cheese per year, according to Travel & Leisure. Intrepid cheese lovers may tour the cave. Below are necessities for these cheese-cave explorers.
Have You Tried Overnight Oats?
Hey! Good to see you. How are things? Bad? Well, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you need to try overnight oats. In case you don’t subscribe to Real Simple or have a Pinterest account, I’ll fill you in on this breakfast life hack one more time, my friend. All you have to do is put oats in a container, cover them with milk, put the container in the fridge, and get ready to witness magic the next morning—I’m talking oats, softened. Maybe you throw some chia seeds in there.
Opinion | ‘I Hope You’re Well’ (Published 2019)
Image Hi, Robin, I hope you’re well. I can’t seem to find the attachment. Please re-send. All the best, Laura Dear Laura, I hope you’re well, too. Thank you for checking on my wellness — wellness has been on my mind. What are the chances that two associates at Sullivan & Partners are thinking about wellness at the same time? Lately I’ve been pondering my spiritual wellness. Sometimes I wonder, “What is my purpose?” The thought is overwhelming. Here’s the attachment.
What Flowers Symbolize
A primer on the meaning of roses, carnations, and more Illustrations by Desneige Hallbert Roses A red rose symbolizes love. An orange rose means, “Hubba, hubba.” A yellow rose that’s wearing a turtleneck, tapered khakis, and a backpack wants you to know this isn’t a date. Tulips Pink tulips mean, “Congratulations on your new job!” White tulips mean, “I’m sorry for singing so loudly in the museum.” Did you receive a bouquet of black tulips from someone?
From Rethinking Schools: The School Formerly Known as LeConte
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 The School Formerly Known as LeConte The School Formerly Known as LeConte A debate in Berkeley about the power of a name By Lauren Markham At the first meeting gathered to rename LeConte Elementary School in Berkeley, California, committee members shared stories of their own names: where did they come from, and why were they thus named?
From Rethinking Schools: When Showing Up Isn't Showing Up
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 When Showing Up Isn't Showing Up When Showing Up Isn't Showing Up By Julia Kirkpatrick I pulled into the parking lot with a familiar sense of weariness. I might not be the best teacher or the best activist, but I could always pride myself on my dogged ability to show up. My purse was packed with survival — leftover spaghetti crammed into a Tupperware container, an article I needed to read, a to-do list that already felt overwhelming. “Why am I here?
From Rethinking Schools: Black Lives Matter at School Week of Action
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 Black Lives Matter at School Week of Action Black Lives Matter at School Week of Action An uprising for racial justice in education By Jesse Hagopian Joe Brusky bit.ly/Brusky_Photos Teacher Angela Harris during a Black Lives Matter Week of Action event in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. On a Sunday night at the beginning of February I got a call from my sons’ elementary school. When I answered, the recorded voice, my sons’ principal, began speaking.
From Rethinking Schools: Women of the Day
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 Women of the Day Women of the Day By Ursula Wolfe-Rocca Yuri Kochiyama Recy Taylor Sylvia Plath Artemisia Gentileschi Jeannette Rankin Audre Lorde In the 5th grade, I had to write a report on Abraham Lincoln. As I pored over my musty-scented, yellow-paged, cellophane-covered books from the Metropolitan Learning Center library, I became fascinated with Mary Todd.
From Rethinking Schools: How Should We Sing Happy Birthday?
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 How Should We Sing Happy Birthday? How Should We Sing Happy Birthday? Reconsidering classroom birthday celebrations By Kerry Elson One morning last April, I was with my kindergarten students in our school’s cafeteria. I teach kindergarten and 1st grade — looping, with the same class for two years — at Central Park East 2, a public school in East Harlem, New York. I work with a paraprofessional named Vesna, who was also at the table.
From Rethinking Schools: Why We Should Teach Reconstruction
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 Why We Should Teach Reconstruction Why We Should Teach Reconstruction By the editors of Rethinking Schools Next year is the 150th anniversary of the 15th Amendment — when Black men won the right to vote. Voting rights of Black people have been under attack ever since. A recent example is the 2018 election of Brian Kemp, who narrowly defeated Stacey Abrams for the Georgia governorship.
From Rethinking Schools: Introducing the New, New Teacher Book
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 Introducing the New, New Teacher Book Introducing the New, New Teacher Book By Linda Christensen, Stan Karp, Bob Peterson, Moé Yonamine This third edition of The New Teacher Book began, appropriately enough, with new teachers. In the summer of 2017, with grant support from the National Education Association, Rethinking Schools convened two groups of early-career educators for three-day retreats in Milwaukee and Portland, Oregon.
From Rethinking Schools: Honor Their Names
At a sports bar in British Columbia, a gracious and gregarious young woman seated us. As we slid across the bench in the booth, I asked her name. “Carol,” she said. “Carol,” I repeated. “My name is Linda. We have names from a different generation.” She laughed. “Oh, my real name is Chichima. Carol is my white name. My family is from Nigeria, so when we immigrated, I changed my name at school. It’s easier for the teachers. We all have white names.” “Why is that?” I asked.
Types of Birds You Might Sleep Like
Are you an early bird, a night owl, or another feathered friend? Illustrations by Tara Morin An Early Bird Do you go to bed at 7 a.m., wake up naturally at 5 a.m., and think a lot about Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule? Then you might be an early bird. These types like to “get up and at ‘em” to write in gratitude journals, watch the sun rise, and go stand-up paddleboarding. If you’re an early bird, you’re most productive in the earliest hours of the day and announce that to people regularly.
From Rethinking Schools: 40 Acres and a Mule
Home Volume 33, No. 3 — Spring 2019 40 Acres and a Mule 40 Acres and a Mule Role-playing what Reconstruction could have been By Adam Sanchez There are moments in history that give us a glimpse of a different world — moments that force us to wonder if things could have turned out differently. One of those moments occurred at the end of the Civil War in 1865 on what are known as the Sea Islands of the Georgia and South Carolina coast.
Welcome to our clothing store. Please choose a side.
Welcome to our Clothing Store! Now, please choose a side. are you SURE that is the ONE side you wish to shop from?? Hey! Welcome to Everyday Casualwear. How’s it going? Allow me to help you find what you’re looking for! If you’re a man, you shop on this side of the store. If you’re a woman, you shop on that side of the store. Here at Everyday Casualwear, “man and woman” are the only gender identifiers we know about, so please, choose one.
List: 9 Ways to Avoid Disclosing That You’re From Chevy Chase, Shaker Heights, Darien, or Scarsdale
9 Ways to Avoid Disclosing That You’re From Chevy Chase, Shaker Heights, Darien, or Scarsdale 2. “I’m from the D.C. area / the Cleveland area / the Tri-State Area / Westchester.” 3. “I grew up in a small town outside Washington, D.C. / right outside Cleveland / just over the New York City line / basically across the street from New York City.” 4.
List: Quick Facts About the Silicon Valley Microschool That’s Disrupting Education
It’s like a regular school, but much smaller. In fact, it’s so small that there’s only room for our own children and our friends’ children. Tuition is $50,000 per year (financial aid not available at this time). We call our school Puer Minima Insulated Arca Archa, which is Latin for “Tiny Insulated Child Box.” We regret that we cannot serve children with autism, dyslexia, asthma, nut allergies, sadness, excitement, or other conditions because that sounds hard.
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