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Articles by Kim Olver
Couples Who Are Actually Compatible With Each Other Almost Always Agree On 5 Core Values
It takes more than love and physical attraction to make a relationship last. You can be incredibly drawn to someone and still struggle to build a life together because attraction and compatibility aren't the same thing. Physical chemistry may bring two people together, while familiarity can make a relationship feel safe and comfortable at first. But neither tells you how well you'll handle money, conflict, or your plans for the future.
Research Say This One Thing Makes Relationships Way Deeper — But Most People Ignore It
Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who value their friendship over other aspects of their relationships report greater romance and satisfaction than couples who look to their partners mostly for intimate gratification. According to research, being friends first makes a relationship way deeper. This probably doesn't surprise anyone, but it's great to have the research to back it up.
4 Things Deeply Jealous People Do Almost Constantly
Extreme jealousy is one of the most destructive things in a relationship. Research has found that jealousy, while sometimes a sign of love, is more consistently linked to negative relationships. Engaging in jealous behaviors and suspicions is not cute. It does not let your significant other know you care. And it definitely will not strengthen your relationship.
Mental Freedom Experience
Discover the path to Mental Freedom® with our tailored experiences designed to fit your unique needs and preferences. Whether you prefer independent learning, connecting in a group, or one-on-one coaching, there's an option that’s right for you. Explore the differences, pros, and cons of each to find your perfect fit, but keep an eye on our most popular Group Experience for a well-rounded approach that blends support, interaction, and affordability.
If You Want Better Mental Health, It's Time To Accept These 10 Essential Truths
We will go to the doctor for a physical checkup, but how many of us engage in a mental health checkup? According to statistics, roughly 1 in 5 adults in America suffer from mental illness. The goals of my process provide us with ten things we can do to improve our well-being and increase our happiness. If you want better mental health, it's time to accept these 10 essential truths: We all have five basic human needs — connection, freedom, significance, survival, and enjoyment.
Experts Reveal The 27 'Golden' Signs He's Husband Material
If you're looking for a life partner, you want someone honest, loyal, thoughtful, and caring. But what about the subtler details? What small things separate an average married man from the best husband ever? The dating world is already bewildering, let alone the realm of trying to choose 'The One.' Compassion, compatibility, and communication are the best indicators of a prosperous marriage. But it doesn't stop there.
When Your Relationship's In Trouble You Have 3 Choices — Only One Will Be Right For You
Are you unhappy in your relationship and want your partner to go to counseling with you, yet they refuse? Women who are in unhappy relationships want their partners to change and are frustrated because they don't see the need for it. This is when the real work begins! There are only three things you can do when you're unhappy in your relationship. You can change the situation.
4 Ways This Pesky Emotion Makes People Super Unattractive
Jealousy is one of the things that can cause major rifts in a relationship. I call it the Relationship Killer. Are you the one in the relationship that tends to get jealous? Do you notice the signs of jealousy and think your partner is jealous of you? Do you both display jealousy at different points in your relationship? Would you like to understand it better and know how to stop being jealous? First things first: You need to understand the causes of jealousy.
5 Major Life Lessons I Learned As A Widowed Single Mom
Single moms are not a one-size-fits-all group. Some are parenting alone by choice, some without an active co-parent, some are co-parenting, and others because of the death of a co-parent. I fell into the last group. I found myself parenting our two boys alone after my husband died. I learned some lessons you might find helpful as you walk down the path of being a single mom.
7 Legit Reasons To Get Married (And 7 Legit Reasons Not To)
silhouette of couple hugging at sunset on the beach Statistics show some people are more likely to have children than to get married. Older people who are getting involved romantically are finding fewer reasons to get married. It's all down to you and your significant other, but it helps to understand what you're getting into if you decide to marry or stay single. Here are seven reasons people might not want to get married: 1. Divorce is possible (or even likely) 2.
5 Sure Signs You're A Jealous, Possessive Mess
Extreme jealousy is one of the most destructive things in a relationship. Engaging in jealous behaviors and suspicions is not cute. It does not let your significant other know you really care. And it definitely will not strengthen your relationship. An occasional, mildly jealous episode might actually heighten the interest in your relationship, but chronic, pathological jealousy is like cancer that will destroy any loving feelings that exist in your relationship.
7 Legit Reasons To Get Married (And 7 Legit Reasons Not To)
Statistics show some people are more likely to have children than to get married. Older people who are getting involved romantically are finding fewer reasons to get married. So why has marriage gotten such a bad reputation? And is single life better? It's all down to you and your significant other, but it helps to understand what you're getting into if you decide to marry or stay single.
The #1 Thing Husbands Do To Make Their Wives Avoid Intimacy
As a Choice Theory expert, I know that trying to guilt your wife into having sex will be a lose/lose/lose proposition. You will not have the enthusiastic sex partner you really crave, she will not be feeling amorous toward the person who coerced her, and your relationship will grow weaker because of it.
The #1 Thing Husbands Do To Make Their Wives Avoid Intimacy
3 hours ago Britney Spears and Sam Asghari are celebrating a marriage milestone. The singer and the model marked their one-year wedding anniversary yesterday, with Asghari sharing a loving tribute in honor of the occasion, per Page Six. The sweet video montage, which was soundtracked by Elvis Presley's "Can't …
The #1 Thing Husbands Do To Make Their Wives Avoid Intimacy
From service to survival: what happened to the households of Henry VIII’s six wives? The fates of the six wives of Henry VIII are well known, but what happened to the households of these queens when their mistress was divorced, …
The Harsh Reason Men Are More Distant In Relationships
Women immerse themselves in their romantic relationships, while men place their romantic partners on an equal but distant footing, at least according to research from Oxford University. The study shows that, generally, women are more invested in their relationships than men and that their happiness and well-being are more dependent upon how things are going in their intimate relationships. Is this a surprise to you? It's not a surprise to me.
If You Love An Addict And Want To Be Happy, You Have 3 Options
No person can actually cure another person's addiction. They have to recognize they have lost power over their own behavior and recognize the need to change. There are some experts who will recommend you either make them quit or leave. This may work temporarily, but if the motivation to change is not internally motivated, there will be no lasting change. This plan can even backfire.
If You Love An Addict And Want To Be Happy, You Have 3 Options
No person can actually cure another person's addiction. They have to recognize they have lost power over their own behavior and recognize the need to change. There are some experts who will recommend you either make them quit or leave. This may work temporarily, but if the motivation to change is not internally motivated, there will be no lasting change. This plan can even backfire.
The 10 Emotional Stages Of Divorce (So You Can Know When You're Finally Done)
Just as in death and dying, there are emotional stages people go through during a divorce. Mostly these stages pertain to the person who didn't initiate the divorce, although some of them are applicable even if you did initiate it. Depending on each individual, a person can skip stages, get stuck in some, or move on only to revisit previous stages.
How Understanding The Science Of Broken Heart Syndrome Will Help You Get Over Him Faster
In doing my research for this article, I found several articles discussing how there really is a thing called "Broken Heart Syndrome" that can be identified in scans of the heart. People complaining of a "broken heart" experience symptoms similar to a heart attack, complete with pain and distress. While they are not the associated arterial blockages normally associated with heart attack, the heart becomes misshapen causing interference with its optimal functioning.
The Dirty Dozen - 12 Fatal Relationship Errors
While these are basically written tongue-in-cheek, each has an element of truth to it as something people do when in a relationship and then they have difficulty understanding why things aren't going well with their partner. RELATED: 7 Amazing Things That Happen To You And Your Body When You Laugh RELATED: 5 Rare Traits Of People Who Create Relationships Filled With Laughter Here are 12 fatal relationship mistakes: 1.
The 'Big 5' Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce
With so many marriages ending in divorce, it's important to take a look at the marriage mistakes that can cause an irreparable romantic rift. While researching this subject for my book, Secrets of Happy Couples, I asked happy couples what the "non-negotiable" factors in marriage are. One hundred couples responded about the deal breakers in their marriages. Here is what I learned.
The 5-Step Plan For Finding Your Soulmate (That Actually Works)
Many times I talk to people who ask the questions: "Why can’t I find a good man/woman?" or " Why do I keep making the same mistakes in my relationships?" When you are in between relationships, there is much introspective work to do. Without taking the time time to look at yourself, you are often in the position of repeating the same patterns over and over again.
5 Signs You're In A Seriously Dysfunctional, Screwed-Up Relationship
We sometimes lose ourselves in relationships that are important to us. How can you tell if you are simply engaging in healthy accommodation or if you have crossed the line into dysfunction? It's difficult to find a relationship where each person has the same degree of commitment to the relationship throughout the life of the relationship. This isn't to say "unbalanced relationships" will not work out.
The Top 10 Reasons For Divorce, Explained By Experts
How many marriages end in divorce? The numbers vary. While the previously accepted statistic was that 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, according to the CDC in 2021, the divorce rate was around 2.5 per 1,000 population, lowering that number to an estimated 39% percent. Why is divorce so common? While many people might point to cheating as one of the leading causes of divorce, they've got it all wrong.
Couples Compatible In These 5 Areas Are More Likely To Stay Together
It takes more than just love to make a relationship last. Compatibility is, more often than not, far more important — and you can find out the compatibility in your own relationship with this love compatibility test. Who and what are you attracted to in life? There are many factors that come into play. Sometimes, we are attracted to the physical. When you find someone physically attractive, you may believe you’ve fallen in love. In reality, you are likely in lust. And that's not true love.
Make 2023 your best year yet
By KIM OLVER Happy New Year! Did you make a New Year’s resolution? Do you have a process for planning your new year? A few years ago, I developed this strategic process to plan for the year ahead and I wanted to share it with you here: Relax—In order to optimize your thinking processes, it’s helpful to be relaxed. I recommend some mindful meditation to begin your planning session. Anchor yourself in the here and now. Ground yourself and focus on your planning process.
5 Signs You're In A Seriously Dysfunctional, Screwed-Up Relationship
We sometimes lose ourselves in relationships that are important to us. How can you tell if you are simply engaging in healthy accommodation or if you have crossed the line into dysfunction? It's difficult to find a relationship where each person has the same degree of commitment to the relationship throughout the life of the relationship. This isn't to say "unbalanced relationships" will not work out.
Back to school with COVID-19
By Kim Olver School is starting and the COVID-19 delta variant is wreaking havoc with children. What’s a parent to do? This is a hard question to answer definitively. What we know from the experts is that virtual school has children falling behind in their learning. Children need to socialize with other children for their own growth, development and even happiness. Parents need to get back to work. The CDC is recommending children return to school with masks and social distancing in place.
Procrastination and motivation
By KIM OLVER A big theme for clients seeking counselors these days centers around procrastination and motivation. If you are struggling with these issues, I invite you to read on. Procrastination The first step is to examine this behavior. Sometimes procrastination isn’t a sign of dysfunction; sometimes it’s the right behavior to suit your personality. If you have always been a procrastinator yet you always get the job done, this is likely the way you function best.
Seven steps to reaching your 2021 goals
By KIM OLVER The new year has arrived, and most people have declared new year’s resolutions for the year ahead. However, it’s not uncommon to hear about these resolutions being abandoned by the second or third week of January. For a different approach this year, you might like to try my seven-step goal-attainment process. It’s not just about setting goals; it’s about setting them in a way that will matter to you, therefore creating a higher chance you will accomplish them.
‘Mental Freedom™’ part two
By KIM OLVER If you are coming late to the party, or want a refresher on last month’s introduction to the process I call Mental Freedom, you can find it here. There, I introduced the first three constructs: Distinguishing responsibility from response-ability. Trusting everyone to do just one thing: the best they know to do in any situation to get what they want in that moment. Recognizing that you never have to do anything; every single thing you do, you do because you want to.
10 Ways To Improve Your Mental Health
InsideOut Empowerment can help improve your well-being. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. We will go to the doctor for a physical checkup, but how many of us engage in a mental health checkup? The goals of my process, InsideOut Empowerment, provide us with ten things we can do to improve our well-being and increase our happiness. 1. Assess the strength of your needs while learning to obtain the proper amounts for happiness.
Couples Who Pass This Love Compatibility Test Are More Likely To Have A Healthy Relationship That Lasts
Have you found the one for you? It takes more than just love to make a relationship last. Compatibility is, more often than not, far more important — and you can test compatibility in your own relationship. Who and what are you attracted to in life? What makes a healthy relationship? There are many factors that come into play, of course. Sometimes, we are attracted to the physical. When you find someone physically attractive, you may believe you’ve fallen in love. In reality, you are likely in lust.
How To Keep Your Man Faithful And Stop Him From Cheating On You
He wants to be your hero — so let him. Infidelity is a huge concern in relationships. Whether you've been cheated on before or just generally want to know how to stop your boyfriend or husband from cheating on you in the future, it's important to first understand why men cheat on women they love. That's right. Most men don't cheat because they're not in love with their wife or girlfriend anymore.
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