Marina Pearson

So you've been married for years, and now find yourself in your late 40s or 50s in the unexpected situation of getting a divorce. When you got married, you probably thought that this would be forever, and now you probably find yourself hurt, angry, and probably a bit stunned. I have a couple of clients in at this age who find themselves somewhat lost, somewhat bewildered - with their dreams of a perceived “stable” future as a pipe dream.

Part of living effortlessly and letting go of an ex is learning how to be at peace with your life in the present, but a lot of people wholeheartedly wish their single status weren't so. They gaze longingly at the world, watching couples go by and wishing that they could feel as happy and in love as the couples seem to be. Does that sound familiar?

"How could you have done this to me, to us? Who are you and who did I marry?" With tears in his eyes, my ex-husband shouted and screamed these questions at me on the day he found out that I'd had an affair. All the while, I stood there shaking, in shock, not knowing what to say that would make what I had done right. I was a cheater. Looking back, I realize that nothing in that moment would have given him the solace and comfort that he was looking for — or that I was looking for.