Congratulations to Madame Tussauds, which has released this week's most surreally creepy video. Following certain news in the world of celebrity, Tussauds has formally separated its likenesses of Dannii Minogue and David Spade. Or "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt", as its official press release has it. But really: look at the evidence.
Back in the day, there were probably people who were informed that a carpenter's fiancee was having another entity's baby in a stable, and greeted the news with the already timeworn zinger: "Sorry, who are these people? Why is the Bethlehem Bugle printing this rubbish? If I wanted this, I'd read the Nazareth News.
Even in more placid recent times, the Ryder Cup has always been the fiercest culture war in all sport. America versus Europe. The individuals versus the team. Lone wolves versus the pack. Unabombers versus cells. Sex addiction versus sex.
All real Donald Trump press releases sound like they were composed of lines cut from satirical Donald Trump press releases. Even by those standards, however, you have to admire how his campaign's latest effort on the enduring non-mystery of Barack Obama's birthplace ascends to its point: "In 2011, Mr Trump was finally able to bring this ugly incident to its conclusion by successfully compelling President Obama to release his birth certificate," this hallucinates.
At last, a price comparison more wantonly imbecilic than discussing how many nurses a Premier League footballer's commercial contract would have bought. It is the confected outrage that someone or other is paid "more then the prime minister's salary". Latest to deploy it is Karen Bradley, who has risen without trace to become secretary of state for culture, media and sport.
Once more to Fifa, the Chinatown of sports governance, where you always end up just having to forget it. Dark and terrible things happen, but you have to move on unsatisfactorily. There is no resolution. The only thing you gain is cynicism.
Oh dear. Many will have hoped it would be at least a year between the Facebook board member Peter Thiel covertly closing down an entire media company because he didn't like it and the firm's boss, Mark Zuckerberg, actually censoring the history of the Vietnam war.
There is affecting news of the Karaoke Sauron, who is not taking the diminishment of his powers as well as he might. Time was Simon Cowell bestrode the Atlantic like a telly colossus, as at home insulting teenagers on ITV as he was floating the idea of taking Las Vegas by storm with a permanent residency for The X Factor.
It was cinema's Gerard Butler who once observed: "There's no one in this world I think works harder than me." It's true. Although a UN report found their daily toil sufficiently backbreaking and hazardous to rank them as among the very poorest of the poor, there are Filipino fishermen who come home and almost collapse after 18 hours on the waters, only to rally themselves when their wife sniffs: "Tough day?
Have you recovered from another idiosyncratic international week for the England football side? Like a visit from a demanding relative or a night on base speed, it all tends to go on a couple of days longer than it should.
Muck Rack makes it simple to find people, tweets, or articles that mention any name, keyword, company, hashtag etc. We've compiled this guide to help you make the most of your search.
Selecting a term
Start searching tweets, articles from media outlets, articles mentioned in tweets, journalists'
names, titles and bios with some suggested searches:
Companies or Topics (e.g. iPhone, Microsoft)
Phrases (e.g. "cloud computing") — use quotes to keep the terms together
Twitter handles (e.g. @username) — returns those who have mentioned or replied to
Names (e.g. "David Pogue")
Hashtags (e.g. #sxsw, #london2012)
Bio details (e.g. vegan, Olympics, father)
Muck Rack's Advanced Search allows for many boolean operators.
Find results that mention multiple specified terms, use AND or
+. For example, ensure each result contains both Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg by
searching Obama AND Romney or Obama + Romney.
Use the operators OR or , to broaden your search when you'd like either of
multiple terms to appear in results. (This is the default behavior of our search when no operators
are used.) For example, search for democrat OR republican to find results that refer to
Democrats and/or Republicans.
Use NOT or - to subtract results from your search. For
example, searching Disney will yield results about the Walt Disney Company as well as Walt Disney
World Resort. To exclude mentions of Disney World, search for Disney -World or Disney
When using one of these operators with a phrase, enclose it in quotation marks. For example, you can
find results about smartphones excluding Apple's iPhone 4S by searching smartphone -"iPhone
Use parentheses to separate multiple
boolean phrases. For example, to find journalists talking about having fun in Disney World or
Disneyland, search for ("disney world" OR disneyland) AND fun.
An asterisk can be used to search for any variation of a root word truncated by the asterisk. For example, searching for admin* will return results for administrator, administration, administer, administered, etc.
A near operator is an AND operator where you can control the distance between the words. You can vary the distance the near operation uses by adding a forward slash and number (between 0-99) such as strawberries NEAR/10 "whipped cream", which means the strawberries must exist within 10 words of "whipped cream".