I love Twitter because everyone's always polite and no one ever takes anything you say literally, never.

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@mrmarksteel — 153,659 followers, 9,802 tweets

@JeremyJHardy Nico, Eivor Palsdottir, Roy Orbison, Tony Bennett, Dolly Parton, Eminem, Missy Elliot, Chuck D and Stormzy (to be fair the last 4 are quite angry angels).
I'm half watching the curling, and half watching Stormzy, South London's most glorious. They're a splendid mix.
I've got some writing, on the back of a pizza leaflet, that says 'Corbyn was a spy for Napoleon and sent him dick-pics to cheer him up before the Battle of Waterloo'. The Daily Mail can have it for 50 grand.
Here you are - a night of jollity, and you get to free someone out of an Iranian slam who's banged up for nothing.  https://twitter.com/REDRESSTrust/status/965556571974569986 
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