Minerva Jayne

Dear Minerva: How do I stop myself from drowning my ex? Sincerely, Irate Dear Irate: Do you LOVE local news? Get Local News Headlines in your inbox daily. Drowning other people is generally frowned upon. Sure, you may think you’d be satisfied by this action, but you won’t be. You will lose a lot of friends. You’ll have to sit through poorly written, grammatically incorrect, tackily composed victim impact statements too - statements that will challenge the narrative that your ex deserved to be drowned.

Darling Readers: It is almost that annual time of celebration where people don their red, white, and blue, break out the hot dogs and potato salad, and get ready for the excitement of fireworks. There’s no doubt about it - people love their fireworks ‘round these parts and festivities start early and run late. Pets and other animals, however, often do not find nearly as much joy in fireworks as people do. My advice to you is to start preparing now.