Mosab Alkhteb

When I had the idea to write this article, I thought it was ironic. A few days ago, I wrote an article arguing that you should trust your perspective and opinions. But thinking about it, I believe it is a great follow-up. You should know the parts of yourself you should trust. That was the purpose of the first article. But you should also know the parts of yourself you shouldn’t trust. And this is what this article is here to teach you.

In a scene from the old TV series The Mentalist, Jane, the equivalent of modern-day Sherlock Holmes, finds out who the murderer is in less than a minute. They were standing at the crime scene. A guy walked in and stepped on the blood on the floor without paying attention. It was a bloody and disgusting spot. People told him that he had been standing on blood. He just looked to the floor and moved away. He did that without even blinking. Jane was watching him like a hawk.

I loved an avoidant for 7 years. And still do. I saw the good, bad, and ugly. I want to share some of the ugly with you. Why? Because looking at the darkness long enough and not shying away from it can help you heal, whether you’re the avoidant or their partner. Before starting our tour inside avoidants’ subconscious minds, we must clear a popular misconception. It will set the stage for everything we’ll cover. People think avoidants are scared of commitment, vulnerability, and closeness.