I loved an avoidant for 7 years. And still do. I saw the good, bad, and ugly. I want to share some of the ugly with you. Why? Because looking at the darkness long enough and not shying away from it can help you heal, whether you’re the avoidant or their partner. Before starting our tour inside avoidants’ subconscious minds, we must clear a popular misconception. It will set the stage for everything we’ll cover. People think avoidants are scared of commitment, vulnerability, and closeness.