Natalie DuPré Guest

Guys, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but things have not been going so hot on campus of late. The decisions of our administration are becoming ever more confusing, and their motives remain mysterious. One minute, the budget is so tight they need to cut the healthcare benefits of the professors, and the next minute, they’ve bought a bar. They tell us there is simply not enough money to provide us free printing, but there certainly is for new overpriced dorms.

Last year, I studied abroad in Europe and I learned that a lot of the rumors about the food over there are true. The coffee is better, the bread is better and the pastries are superb. However, when it comes to cuisine, there is one area where the USA is still number one: Snacks. There’s Doritos, Skittles, M&M’s, Takis, Icees and the list goes on and on! Now, these brands do sell their products internationally, but with some questionable changes to the recipes.

One of the perks of attending Whitman College is that it has such a high duck population. The ducks are cute, they’re friendly and you can see them all over campus! However, if you pay close attention, you might notice something curious. It seems that a very high percentage of the Whitman College ducks are in duck throuples or other polyamorous relationships.