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Articles by Phoebe Roy
Two ultraviolent novels that tell the truth about war
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Conspiracies: Who Can You Trust?
What’s the difference between open plot and shadowy demonology? A new exhibition wonders if it was all in your head A little while ago I got talking to a man who was lost on the way to a client meeting near my local station. I was going the same way, so I offered to walk with him. As we walked, we complained about the grey summer. He told me that it was because they were clouding over the sun. I forgot my own informal rules for a moment and, without thinking, asked who They were.
The Birds
Earlier this year I noticed that the sparrows that live outside my office window had become especially fat and hilarious – I couldn’t tell you the probable environmental reasons, but they had obviously spent the winter enjoying various snacks, and had all got so round they were bouncing rather than flying from branch to branch and yelling at each other. Every time they appeared for a round or two of bouncing and yelling, I stopped what I was doing to watch them from the window.
Hello!
Hello, and welcome to my substack. I have been meaning to start one for a while, and if you can hear ghostly bells and hoofbeats in the distance, or, listening more closely and straining your ears, the wind shaping its voice into the mournful keen of ‘good God, not another bleeding substack’, then all I can say by way of comfort is that this is a very usual and understandable response.
Strictly Come Dancing 2017 quarter-finals - Musicals Week live blog
The Strictly Come Dancing quarter-finals are upon us, and that means it's time to warm up your vocal chords for some epic key changes, because it's Musicals Week! Last week, Susan Calman waved an emotional goodbye to the competition, so now just six pairs remain to hope they can dance their way into next week's semi-finals.
Strictly Come Dancing 2017 week 5 live blog
Can you believe it's already week five of Strictly Come Dancing? Our 12 remaining celebs and their professional partners are taking to the dance floor once again in the hope of impressing the judges and viewers at home – and, of course, whoever makes it through will doubtless get the honour of dancing in a spectacular Halloween-themed costume next weekend. There's no Bruno Tonioli this week due to a busy schedule and prior commitments (don't forget he's also on the Dancing with the Stars panel).
Eurovision 2017 final live blog – all the performances as they happen
Tonight's the night – Eurovision 2017's final is taking place at the International Exhibition Centre in Kiev, Ukraine and we'll be liveblogging every step of the action this evening as 26 countries – including the UK's hopeful Lucie Jones – compete to be crowned the winner of the 62nd annual Eurovision Song Contest.
The Voice UK 2017 final live blog – Who will win?
It's finally here. Tonight, The Voice UK will crown its 2017 champion – and the first since the show jumped ship from the BBC to ITV. Michelle John from Team Will, Into the Ark from Team Tom and two of Jennifer Hudson's acts – Jamie Miller and Mo Adeniran – made the final four, but Michelle soon became the unlucky contestant to just miss out on a place in the grand final tonight after last night's public vote.
Strictly Come Dancing Week 8 live blog: Who's going to make it to Blackpool?
Strictly Come Dancing is getting seriously tense. With just eight celebrities left in the competition and the classic Blackpool extravaganza looking agonisingly close, it's anyone's guess who could be going home this week. That means everyone should be putting their best foot forward in tonight's show - in other words, we could be in for a real treat. So join us from 6.55pm when it all kicks off on BBC One and we'll bring you all of the action as it happens...
Strictly Come Dancing week 7 live blog: Could there be dancefloor fireworks tonight?
SEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRN! That's the number of weeks we are through Strictly Come Dancing 2016 now, and we'll be seeing our first Argentine tango of the series tonight, courtesy of Louise Redknapp and Kevin Clifton. Join us at 6.55pm for all the action and dancefloor drama as it unfolds...
Strictly Come Dancing Halloween week live blog: Brace yourselves for a spooky spectacular
It's a tradition as autumnal as the clocks going back, or agonising about when to put the central heating on, but Strictly Come Dancing's Halloween Week is finally upon us. The good news is that Laura Whitmore's back in training and should be returning to the dance floor this week, and she and all the other Strictly hopefuls have got a spooktacular (ahem) evening of entertainment lined up. No killer clowns though, we're told. Join us from 6.45pm for all the action.
Strictly Come Dancing 2016: Week Five is here so join all the glitz and glamour with our live blog
Strictly Come Dancing is back for another week of glitz, glamour and Ed Balls's best moves - and it looks like we're in for a real treat. Judge Rinder's going to be tackling the jive, we can't wait to see Louise Redknapp's rumba, and there's the question of how Anastacia will perform after an uncertain week thanks to Brendan Cole's lung infection. So for all of the action - and probably a bit of drama, too - join us when the show kicks off at 6.35pm as we update you on all things Strictly...
Strictly Come Dancing 2016 week four live blog: Join us as the Top 12 take to the floor
Strictly Come Dancing's drama has been taking place both on and off the dance floor this week, as we waved farewell to EastEnders star Tameka Empson after Movies Week in a genuinely shocking elimination and said a surprise goodbye to Will Young, who's bowing out of the competition due to personal circumstances. But the show will go on – there will be an elimination as usual this week and our final 12 couples will be dancing to some epic tunes.
Strictly Come Dancing week three live blog: It's Movies Week!
Well, Strictly Come Dancing got a bit dramatic last weekend, didn't it? Bruno dropped a 'bollocks' on live, pre-watershed telly (and we all know that's a 'medium' on the Ofcom Scale of Swears). Then there was the whole matter of last Sunday's dance-off – in that there wasn't one, sparking OUTRAGE and OUTCRY and an official statement from the BBC strongly dismissing fix allegations. The good news is that Anastacia has been cleared to dance in Movies Week. And...
Strictly Come Dancing week two live blog: Join us for cha-chas, charlestons and... maybe Judge Rinder's abs again?
Strictly Come Dancing is kicking off its second week of competition, and we've already had tears (the Birds of a Feather theme tune *will* do that to you), the usual fix claims because someone got their nine out during a first dance (swiftly rubbished by the BBC), and Judge Rinder got his abs out, of course. The likelihood of him doing it again is probably pretty slim this week, given he's dancing the American smooth – but hopefully he'll give good dance face.
Strictly Come Dancing: 10 reasons we're desperately going to miss Len Goodman
Strictly Come Dancing's much-admired head judge Len Goodman has announced that the coming series will be his last. The BBC has yet to announce who'll be replacing him, but in the meantime, here are 10 reasons we'll desperately miss him: 1. Len was a working class boy from Bromley who initially trained as a welder before learning to dance when he was 19n (you can make a Flashdance reference if you like, but we've got some pride).
Netflix's spooky new show is a playful tribute to '80s horror
The first episode of Netflix's new supernatural drama Stranger Things, from writer/director duo the Duffer Brothers, is very clear in what it's setting out to do. The showrunners' intention isn't to bombard the audience with action and spectacle, but suspense. They carefully and deliberately introduce us to the central characters and the central question of the series – just what the hell is going on in the town of Hawkins, Indiana?
Orange is the New Black season 4: here's a refresher on what happened in seasons 1-3
For everyone who's been suffering from withdrawal symptoms since the women of Litchfield Penitentiary had their swim in the lake all those months ago, season 4 of Orange is the New Black is finally dropping this Friday. For everyone else who's missed out on singing along to the infectious theme of Netflix's prison comedy drama, here is the story so far...
9 times the Hollyoaks police force was totally incompetent
DS Armstrong is a brand new police officer arriving in the Hollyoaks village to finally solve Patrick Blake's death and clean up this town, but he'll have his work cut out. With the most number of violent crimes per capita in the country, Hollyoaks Village and its overstretched police department have for the past 20 years been single-handedly responsible for irreparably skewing government crime statistics.
There's another Hollyoaks murder soon... Here are the top 10 suspects
Warning: this article contains storyline spoilers that some readers may prefer to avoid. There are sad times ahead on Hollyoaks as local gangster and tattoo expert Trevor Royle gets distracted by his complicated love life - and probably a fish - and takes his eye off one of his many enemies. While nothing has been confirmed officially by Hollyoaks, cast and crew were spotted filming Trevor's funeral on location last month, so it's surely only a matter of time before we see him meet his maker.
This is how modern Britain does anti-Semitism
I remember the first time I heard an anti-Semitic slur. I was on a scavenger hunt with my Jewish youth group – an organisation characterised by a mix of sexual debauchery and wholesome activities – and we were stopped near Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park, where there was a man delivering a speech about hellfire. We were listening politely, because Judaism is nothing if not amusingly catholic in its tastes.
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