Raidah Shah Idil

In both Singapore and Malaysia, Eid is called Hari Raya, or the Day of Celebration – it’s either Hari Raya Puasa (Eidul Fitr) or Hari Raya Haji (Eidul Adha). I have fond Raya memories from my childhood in Singapore. On the morning of Eid, my siblings and I would kiss our parents’ hands, and they would give us a packet of money – a dollar for every day we fasted.

Like many women in their early forties, I’m experiencing some perimenopausal symptoms. The most obvious change in my menstrual cycle has been a clockwork return of my menses after fifteen days of purity. This is my first Ramadan where I’ve had my period at the start and at the end of Ramadan. A younger version of me would have been extremely annoyed with this turn of events. The current version of me is practising surrender.

My husband and our children live in safety and comfort in Muslim-majority Malaysia. For the past few weeks before Ramadan, I noticed that there were already banners outside of restaurants advertising Ramadan buffets. There were already discussions around what we were going to wear for Eid. I would commiserate with my friends around our rush to pay back our qada fasts before Ramadan begins, and our intention to do better next time.