Sabryn Jones

there’s a small buzzing in my head that says in order to be great i have to be lonely i once heard lenny bruce say he would be all alone and i was never certain if he meant for it to be part of his stand up or as a cry for help and now it stays with me on my best and worst days the great writers of the past had nothing but ink and empty homes and what if no matter how much light the window brings in it’ll never be enough warmth to trick me into thinking someone else cares for me?

When I think of a breakup a series of ex-boyfriends go through my mind. When I think of heartbreak, however, my thoughts do not only circle around them. My most recent heartbreak involved me crying myself to sleep on my own birthday and then staring at a phone screen six months later in complete shock with tears popping up in my eyes… It started with the most exhilarating nine months of my life.

Poetry by Brittany Murray • June 25, 2020 A word packed with so much meaning. For some, it is despair, for others a way out, relief. My mind moves back and forth, wondering, thinking. What goes through their mind? Right before? What about after? Strings of words, stories, messages, questions. Flood the space between my fingers as I seek to understand that I do not. A moment, minutes, time. A heart that stops beating, lungs that no longer hold air. A brain that is ravaged with no more oxygen.