Simon Beckwith on Muck Rack

Simon Beckwith

As seen in: NARC.

Comedian // Writer // Vintage Businesser. I write and do website stuff for @narc_magazine.

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@si_beckwith — 540 followers, 1,223 tweets

Nov 20, 2017

Just tried to type the word 'paedophilia' and my phone's predictive text changed that to 'paedo phil'. I don't know who that is, don't even have his number saved and I'm now scared my phone is trying to groom me.

Nov 20, 2017

@Sillybilliescom It's getting stupider though. Well, what's reported is, because "I had a lovely sandwich" is a bit dull. That said, I am allowed to regret that "eating meat is the same as peadophilia" tattoo right? I mean, not his catchiest...

Nov 20, 2017

@Sillybilliescom But, but Morrissey...I mean, I still regret the other one more, don't fret.

Nov 20, 2017

I never thought I'd come to regret The Smiths tattoo I have more than the one I have depicting period bloody (look, I was drunk, I don't remember). But here we are. Oh Morrissey.

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