Virginia Sole-Smith
(She/Her)
As seen in:
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith,
Apple Podcasts,
Elemental,
Medium,
The New York Times,
The New York Times Magazine,
Yahoo Life,
Business Insider,
HuffPost,
Shutterstock,
TIME
and
Covers:
obesity, eating disorders, women's issues, mermaids, women's health, body image, hunger, beauty industry, poverty, beauty standards,
Doesn't Cover:
plastic surgery, weight loss products, romance, self help, fad diets
Author of the NYT bestseller FAT TALK and Burnt Toast on @SubstackInc. Don't use DMs here.
Articles by Virginia Sole-Smith
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
I’m figuring out the weight room, which classes are nice and which are diet culture hellscapes, and more. You can read the first installment here, and the whole series will eventually live here. We’re talking about her new book, Black. Single. Mother., and getting into who gets to claim the title of “single mother” and whether dating…especially for single moms… can become a diet?
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
Right after this piece dropped (so yes, at 5:45am on a Tuesday morning!), my mother texted to ask why my hand is on my head in so many of these photos. If you’ve wondered the same thing (but held yourself back from asking, always an option???): It’s because I only have, like, two poses that work in the mirror I do outfit selfies in, and also sometimes I think my hair looks flat. What can I say. Photos are hard!! Anyway, all of my spring outfits are linkedright over here.
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
Some of these tips are my advice, some from the Burnt Toast team and former pod guests, and a lot from YOU because y’all are very wise. None of them is about taking a bubble bath (no hate to bubble baths!). My favorite: Pee when you need to pee!! And! Wear the fun glasses. (Photo: Molly Haley) Emma joined us to chat about her gorgeous new short story collection Fat Swim.
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
Reminder that you do not need to lose weight to achieve this dream! TL/DR: Get a sleep study if you aren’t feeling well-rested! But also read this piece for all the details about CPAP life. I’ve also made a big list of my specific CPAP equipment and other sleep essentials. Yes I linked the cute bedding for you, too. And you can find the whole sleep apnea series here.
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
Not all heroes wear capes, etc. Did you know that despite being a full-time dad (OF NINE) and “farmer,” Daniel can work out for two hours every day? And “eats clean,” meaning basically only protein powder? Super Daniel! How does he do it all?! With our professional photographer, the wonderful Molly Haley.
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
(No, that’s not a moral obligation—even if you’re in perimenopause, although the Internet sure claims otherwise!) But I still workout at home in my family room with my emotional support cats. I’m thinking about joining a gym — at some point, I need access to heavier/more weights than I can reasonably store in my house? But I don’t like the ambience of most gyms, I don’t like how steeped in diet culture and fatphobia they can be, I don’t want a gym bro mansplaining weights to me.
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
Some weeks, Burnt Toast is all about one big discourse-y conversation (ahem, Lindy. West). And some weeks, we have like, 98 seemingly random but actually semi-related conversations, scattered all over the discourse, but also our own daily lives. The journalist in me loves Discourse Weeks because it feels like we’re part of something important, plus it’s way easier to write headlines.
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
One thing I absolutely LOVE about Burnt Toast: Our comment section. You don’t all agree with my take (cool!) but you’re all so smart, thoughtful and respectful. Zero trolls, zero nonsense, great conversation that pushed my thinking further? Yes please.
Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith
First day CPAP feelings. It got better! ICYMI, this piece is actually the 4th installment in a series I’ve been writing since last fall called The Sleep Apnea Diaries. I’ve also written about: Weight stigma and sleep apnea My fat neck My experience with two sleep studies And one cool thing about Patreon is that you can pay less than $15 to read the whole series (plus every new piece I add to it!), without having to become a member.
How To Work Out and Stay Fat
This was a big accomplishment for me because years ago, I had a far ore disordered, “all or nothing” relationship with exercise, and after several years of “all,” had to spend many years in the “nothing” camp to let it all go. I’m now back to working out most days of the week, but with a lot more flexibility and permission to do it on my own terms. If you’ve been struggling to fit exercise into your life in a way that helps but doesn’t harm, you might like the essay.
Getting Dinner Delivered is Not a Moral Failing
Essays But being fatphobic sure is! Some thoughts on blaming systems, not people. On Tuesday, I wrote about that NYT body positivity influencer video — the one that went viral last week because it’s a fat person saying she doesn’t want to be fat anymore. In other words, it’s a video published by a newspaper where absolutely nothing newsworthy happens — because every fat person has wanted, at least in some moments, to stop being fat.
Do You Love Anything the Way RFK Loves Mike Tyson?
Here’s my take (and a roundup of the best takes) ICYMI. And then RFK doubled down with this… situation. I just cannot with the way these men are using actual government jobs to live out their most deranged fantasies. We get it, buddy. You work out in jeans! You only eat between noon and 7pm! You’re almost as badass as a professional boxer! Sir, I might be fat, but at least I’d never cosplay a sexual predator.
The Epstein Files Are a Diet
(Full credit to Dr. Jen Gunter who broke this story and has put in countless hours sifting through all of Attia’s emails and his subsequent “apology.”) In Attia’s statement this week, he describes the version of himself who made jokes like “pussy is, indeed, low-carb” as “naive” and “juvenile.” He claims not to have known who Epstein really was — even though their friendship and correspondence all took place after Epstein’s 2008 criminal conviction and subsequent jail sentence for soliciting...
That's Just Science, Ever Heard Of It?
First up: Friend of Burnt Toast (and incredible author Savala Nolan and her 10-year-old daughter launched a fundraiser for Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota last weekend on Instagram. They raised $2600 and I said let’s see what Burnt Toast can add! So far we’ve raised another $350, but I know we can get their total over $3K — or more!! Donate even $5 if you can and email me your receipt (virginiasolesmith at gmail).
Don't Go On the Pete Wells Diet
Last week, a white man famous for strapping dead animals to his car told America to eat more beef. My advice: Don’t take diet tips from white men who have never tried to feed themselves while working actually hard jobs (and I am sure, at least in RFK’s case, have never had to directly manage feeding a family either). But if you want to hear us rant about this plus The New York Times ripping off Cosmo circa 2004 plus justice for basset hounds… we got you! This is a pro-basset hound podcast.
We Do Not Care About Your War On Protein
Well, it’s been (another) generally infuriating week in the world. To be clear, I enjoy protein and eat it daily. I do not enjoy the government telling parents to feed our families in ways that are unsustainable (lolol no added sugar under age 10) and more expensive (have you seen the price of meat?).
ICYMI: The Sleep Apnea Diaries
ICYMI: Over on Patreon, I’m chronicling my experience getting diagnosed with, and beginning treatment for, sleep apnea. Why write about such a glamorous condition?! Let’s be honest; Sleep apnea does not have a sexy rep. We associate it with snoring (raises hand), old age, and, of course, fatness (raises both hands). AND sleep apnea is one of those health conditions that critics of fat liberation trot out to prove, definitively, that being fat is bad for your health.
Are You a One Night Stand Reader?
Now that Burnt Toast has been on Patreon for a minute and I’ve had a chance to find all the light switches, I am realizing that one of my favorite things about our new platform is... we have our own shop! Of course the best way to support Burnt Toast is still with an ongoing paid subscription.
Still Asking Questions About Pants
Hello from our first snow day of the season! It’s very pretty, and as it does most years, has caught me completely off guard. Do we even own snow boots for both children? Why do I buy so many gloves but always have cold hands? Also, how is it already time to start figuring out holiday shopping? My answer to these and other existential questions was to do nothing about outerwear or gifts, and stress-organize the kitchen instead.
Stop Saying, "You Haven't Aged a Bit."
podcast conversation Unapologetic Aging: How to Mend and Nourish Your Relationship with Your Body Deb is a registered dietitian/nutritionist with 40 years of experience helping people heal their relationship with food, movement and their bodies. Her work sits at the intersection of anti-ageism, body liberation and trauma-informed care, offering a radically compassionate alternative to diet and wellness culture—especially for those in midlife and beyond.
Notes On My Fat Neck
ICYMI: Earlier this month, I published part 1 of what will be a semi-recurring series about my experiences with sleep apnea. My neurologist first referred me to her colleague, Dr. K, who handles sleep disorders back in March — but it took until early September to get an appointment. (In other words, I spent six more months possibly not breathing in my sleep. As usual, loving American healthcare!!) At Dr. K’s office, a nurse showed me into an exam room and asked me to get on the scale.
Porch Pumpkins and Other Problematic Favs
Welcome to Indulgence Gospel After Dark! We are Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay your November Extra Butter episode. Today we’re talking about our problematic faves! These are shows, musicians, influencers and other pockets of culture that we want to enjoy without thinking much about them, even if there’s discourse. • The straight man who has Corinne’s heart.
Is Lee Tilghman (Still) A Diet?
A few weeks ago, my dear friend (and our nation’s leading momfluencer scholar) Sara Petersen texted me: “We have to talk about Lee Tilghman.” In case you’re new here: Sara and I used to co-host Cult of Perfect, a podcast about the intersection of motherhood, bodies, and public performance. Sara has also been on Burnt Toast here, here, and here.
Memoirs of an Import Model
LAST CALL: THANK YOU to everyone who has donated to Burnt Toast/Big Undies Mutual Aid so far!!! We have raised almost $7300 since Friday, and have 46 recipients! Can you help us reach $10,000 TODAY? • If you can help: Venmo any amount to @virginiasolesmith with “BT Mutual Aid” in the memo. • If you need help: please fill out this form with your Venmo handle. More details about this project here.
Baby's First Weight-Linked Health Condition?
Before we get started today: THANK YOU to everyone who has donated to Burnt Toast/Big Undies Mutual Aid so far!!! If you can help: Venmo any amount to @virginiasolesmith with “BT Mutual Aid” in the memo. If you need help:please fill out this form with your Venmo handle. More details about this project here. A few times a year, I dream that I can’t breathe. Sometimes I’m underwater in the dream, sometimes I’m doing something perfectly ordinary and my throat freezes.
The Story of Katie Sturino and Weight Watchers
Welcome to Indulgence Gospel After Dark! We are Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay , and it’s time for your October Extra Butter episode. Today we’re talking about plus size fashion influencer and body acceptance advocate Katie Sturino — who teamed up with WeightWatchers last year. What happened there? And where is the line between body liberation activism and capitalism? (Yes, we struggle with that too!) What's up with Katie Sturino and WW?
Please Don't Do This On Halloween
On Saturday, more than 40 million Americans who participate in the federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) are likely to lose their food aid, unless the Trump administration reconfigures funding to maintain these benefits during the government shut down . Yes, while Trump has enough resources to bulldoze the White House and build a ballroom nobody asked for, he couldn’t be bothered to keep 1 in 8 people fed.
LAST CALL For Free Burnt Toast!
Hi Burnt Toasties, Popping in your inbox VERY quickly (I know! It’s dinner/homework/chaos time!) to say: Earlier today, we resent your gift links for the last time. All you need to do is click the purple “Claim Now!” button in that email and Patreon will do the rest. Half of you have already claimed your gift and come on over to read why your husband has no friends, listen to our conversation about potty training diet culture, or watch Corinne and I make it through our first Live.
Come Fattify Your Feed!
Full credit for this new recurring newsletter format goes to the wise reader (whose name I’ve lost track of, sorry!!) who suggested it in that reader survey we did whilst secretly planning our Substack to Patreon transition. The vision: To give you a newsletter every so often that is JUST fat and fat-adjacent joy. Think Butter, but with a specifically fat positive lens every time. And with an ulterior motive: Get you to follow other fat and friend-of-fat authors/designers/creators of all kinds.
"Mice Have No Sphincters."
Migrating to Patreon has been awesome (you should come join us!!!) but I am not about to tell you that it’s been utterly carefree, seamless, and easy-breezy. Indeed, here’s a little behind-the-scenes screenshot for you that also accurately reflects the state of my brain right now: More like difficult, difficult, lemon difficult.
"The Nuclear Family is Such a Diet."
Lisa writes The Auntie Bulletin, a weekly newsletter about kinship, chosen family and community care.
Everything You're Missing Over On Patreon
As you’ve probably figured out by now (or saw in…Times Square?!), Burnt Toast has moved to Patreon! And almost half of you have already come with us…but we miss the rest of you! Here’s a little update on what we’ve been up to over there. Here’s the thing about changing platforms (at least the way we’re doing it): Your email addresses come with us, but we can’t get you IN to read paywalled content unless you click the gift link we sent you (check your email, trash and spam!).
Come Hang With Us In Our Jammies (Tomorrow 8pm!)
Fun news, Toasties: Corinne and I will be LIVE on Patreon, tomorrow night at 8pm ET! Add it to your calendar here! Yes that’s quite late for me!! (Better for Corinne in New Mexico, ha.) I will prob be in pajamas!! We’ll see how it goes!!! Hang with us, wear your jammies, bring good snacks, and if you like, drop questions in advance for us here. Or just pop them in the comments on this post. See you soon! xx
I’m years past potty training (thank God!!), but I honestly remember the pain of it better than childbirth. This can be such a very fraught parenting milestone. And as with all things parenting: That means we encounter a ton of societal expectations and pressures around how to get potty training right, which makes it all even harder. My guest is Laura Birek, co-author of Good to Go: A Fresh Take on Potty Training for Today’s Intentional Parent.
StairMasters are the Mean Girls of Cardio
Lauren is a weight neutral fitness professional and content creator. She focuses on creating inclusive environments for movement and exercise to help clients feel strong and confident, and previously joined us on the podcast back in 2023. Lauren is an oasis in a sea of toxic online fitness and wellness culture. And it has been super toxic lately! So I asked Lauren to come on and chat with us about the recent dramas happening on Tiktok and Instagram.
Is This Why Your Husband Has No Friends?
If you’re reading anything online these days, you’re probably reading about the male loneliness epidemic. According to a recent Pew survey, 16 percent of men say they’re lonely all or most of the time. So do 15 percent of women, mind you! But our stereotype of a lonely woman is someone drinking wine at home with her cats; our stereotype of a lonely man is a school shooter.
You Don’t Need A Going Out Top
We’re going to chat about: ⭐️ How we’re feeling about the BIG MOVE. ⭐️ How to think about clothes after a significant size change. What even IS your style now?! (And why does the world want it to be “going out tops?”) ⭐️Figuring out fall uniforms! ⭐️ Diet culture in disaster prep. ⭐️ The one thing we wish straight-sized style bloggers would do differently. PS. Lost the gift link email?
Virginia Sole-Smith: Anti-Fatness as a Tool of Oppression
You can help support this podcast by heart-reacting to it, sharing it on social media, leaving a comment, and sharing with friends and family. I am increasing my output to weekly podcasts for the month of October. If folks seem to like that pace, I may stick with it. The devaluation of fatness in patriarchy is no accident—and it’s not about health.
Leave No Carbs Behind
Well, we hinted at this a little bit in last month’s Indulgence Gospel and now it’s time to announce… I know. Change is hard. But don’t panic: Everything you love about Burnt Toast on Substack — Indulgence Gospel, Is This a Diet?, personal essays, guest interviews, alll the Butter!!— will still be happening on Patreon.
"Your Life is No Less Worth Living Because You're Sitting Down."
Our conversation today is about the many intersections between anti-fatness and ableism. This is such an important conversation, even if you feel like you’re new to both of these worlds. We investigate who is considered a “worthy” disabled person or a Good Fatty — and how these stereotypes so often pit two marginalization experiences against each other. PS.
Fine, It's Fall Now
A few weeks ago, I posted this on Substack Notes: But it is now September 30, and OKAY FINE, it can be fall. Unlike 98 percent of the Northeast, I don’t run headlong towards flannel and sweaters and pumpkin spice everything. I tend more towards the “mild panic at the coming darkness” school of thought and have a blatant dread of stick season.
On Tylenol and Toughing It Out
I have never, so fervently, wished for three men to have to “tough out” a fever. Ideally while also chronically nauseous, at least slightly incontinent, and unable to wear their normal shoes. I have never, so fervently, wished for three men to believe that their children’s health, development, and emotional struggles are exclusively their fault. I want RFK Jr to have to comb over the physically most draining nine months of his life to figure out what he did wrong.
We Need a Fat Bechdel Test
Corinne Today is a family meeting episode. We’re catching up on summer breaks, back to school, and a whole bunch of diet culture news stories that we’ve been wanting to discuss with you all. Virginia We’re also remembering how to make a podcast, because we haven’t recorded together in like six weeks. And it didn’t start off great. But I think we’re ready to go now. Corinne Someone definitely said, “What day is it?” Virginia It’s hard coming out of summer mode.
Notes from Farm Aid 40
This newsletter contains affiliate links. Shopping our links costs you nothing extra and is a great way to support Burnt Toast! Since I am Internet Famous (infamous?) for defending our right to feed our children orange snack crackers, it might surprise you that I spent this past weekend at Farm Aid, a music festival launched by Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp, and Neil Young, to raise awareness about the loss of family farms.
How To Fix Health Class
Be Real is a nonprofit that imagines a world where every child can grow up with a healthy relationship to food and their body. They work with body image researchers, psychologists, teachers and public health officials to design curricula about nutrition and body image that are weight neutral, and inclusive of all genders, abilities, races and body sizes. Food logs, fitness trackers, other diet tools are far too common in our classrooms— especially in middle and high school health class.
Make Your Own Friend Friday
The Introvert’s Guide to Cultivating – and Actually Enjoying – Community Monday, September 8 at 11:30am Pacific / 2:30pm Eastern / 7:30pm GMT, tune in to Substack Live when I’ll be chatting with Allison Lichter of the excellent newsletter, The Matriarchy Report. The subject of our conversation is: “Too Few People Are Doing the Carework – and Too Many People are Doing Bullshit Jobs.” (In case you’re not aware, “bullshit job” … Read more 18 days ago · 151 likes · 25 comments · Lisa Sibbett
Is Back To School A Diet?
Current time: 0:00 / Total time: -1:48 Audio playback is not supported on your browser. Please upgrade. Weekly conversations about how we dismantle diet culture and fatphobia, especially through parenting, health and fashion. (But non-parents like it too!) Hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith, journalist and author of THE EATING INSTINCT and the forthcoming FAT KID PHOBIA. Weekly conversations about how we dismantle diet culture and fatphobia, especially through parenting, health and fashion.
One of the key finding from our reader survey was that y’all (understandably!) need more clarity about what you get in the regular paid membership vs Extra Butter (our premium tier). So we’re working on that now. Step one: Name the regular paid membership so you know which group you’re in! But what to name it so it both pairs well with Extra Butter yet also distinct?
"The Dismissal of Symptoms is Straight-Up Misogyny."
Dr. Mara is a family physician on the faculty of Cooper Medical School of Rowan University, as well as a writer, journalist and contributor to NPR. She also writes the newsletter Your Doctor Friend by Mara Gordon about her efforts to make medicine more fat friendly. As we discussed last time, finding menopause advice that doesn’t come with a side of diet culture is really difficult. Dr Mara is here to help, and she will not sell you a supplement sign or make you wear a weighted vest. PS.
How To Host a Friend Friday
In July, I wrote about my adventures in Deep Casual Hosting, where I’ve been hosting a twice a month-ish Friend Friday dinner, officially since February and unofficially since last year. This is something I’ve wanted to do for ohhh 10 years or so but only recently got the courage to start executing. And a lot of you responded that you feel the same way!! I’ve also… digested the advice a bit, because very often it is written by People Who Are Naturally Good Hosts — by which I mean extroverts.
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